G*ld-Digging Ex-Wife Left Me When I Quit My Job To Pursue My Dream...

gold digging ex-wife left me when I quit my job to pursue my dream now she's broke homeless and begging me for a job after her rich husband dumped her I always felt like there were two paths diverging in a wood and sorry I couldn't resist quoting a little Frost there but it's true One path was the one I was on a good job money coming in the safe Choice the other was this nagging feeling this dream of making something myself not for the money though that would be nice but for the feeling of creating something

that mattered at least to me my name is Mark I'm 41 now but this story starts a few years back back then it was the good job path all the way I was a software engineer people thought I had it made it was a good enough life at least on paper what most of those people didn't fully get was the feeling of being on a treadmill it kept going and going and going thinking back I guess I started to feel this itch to do something different I had this core belief a need to have a

stake in what I was doing it was hard to explain I wasn't unhappy exactly more like unfulfilled it was like eating bland food every day it keeps you alive but you never really taste anything this had been going on for so many years the thing is my ex-wife Sarah she liked the taste of the life we had she did it wasn't bad was very comfortable but I just needed something different I was 35 at the time and she was 33 we had been married for 6 years when I decided to take the plunge and leave

my well-paying job it all started with quiet conversations or at least I tried to keep them quiet I'd mentioned to Sarah my wife at the time about this idea I had this app I wanted to build I thought it could really help people make a difference she'd listen but I could see the doubt in her eyes I could almost hear the questions before she even asked them but what about the lifestyle Mark what if it doesn't work are you sure you want to give up this security they were fair questions I didn't have all the

answers I knew I couldn't keep living the way I was a cog in a very large very profitable machine every time I dared to bring it up her anxieties would be there Sarah would point out all the Practical problems all the reasons why it was a risky even foolish idea she was worried I understand that now I had a good salary we had a nice life giving that up seemed crazy to most I only had a vague plan at that time just a strong feeling that I needed to build this thing I tried to reassure

her I told her I had saved up enough money to cover my half of the expenses she could manage her own share she wasn't enthusiastic Sarah was concerned about the impact on our lifestyle on the image we' created we were part of this exclusive Country Club socialized with influential people Sarah only bought clothes and accessories from the Best Brands it was clear that we couldn't keep up that kind of lifestyle without my steady income the funny thing is I was never truly attached to that way of living even with a good salary before Sarah I

lived pretty simply I was willing to let go of the luxuries for the sake of pursuing my real ambition however she wasn't interested in any sort of compromise one time early on I even suggested selling some of her designer handbags to help fund the startup she looked at me like I'd suggested we live in a cardboard box those are investments Mark she' said her voice tight they're worth more now than when I bought them she had a point I suppose my suggestion of selling those bags had been silly it wasn't really about the money from

the bags it was a sign of us being a team Sarah's idea was that I should work on my project in my spare time once it started showing potential then I could consider leaving my job it sounded reasonable didn't it the problem was it wasn't realistic the company I worked for was intensely competitive I was easily putting in 10 to 12 hours a day after that kind of mental strain it was nearly impossible to focus on anything else I waited waited down by my own uncertainties and her constant doubts for two more years then one

Tuesday morning I just quit no big dramatic speech just a simple resignation email Sarah naturally was Furious but this time I felt a certainty I hadn't felt before I had a rough outline of what I wanted to build and that was enough for me I stopped going to social events and traveling only covered my part of the bills and dedicated myself entirely to my new project at first seeing my determination Sarah tried to act like the supportive spouse maybe she thought she could still benefit from my potential success there were encouraging words occasional pats on

the back even a few I Believe In You moments but as the months passed and the money wasn't rolling in that support began to disappear she even started saying things like okay Mark 6 months if it's not working by then you get another job I ignored her timeline I felt like I was on the right path and even if it took longer than expected I was willing to wait we weren't facing Financial ruin I had enough savings to last at least 5 years living modestly the mortgage on the house and car was already paid off

my credit card was clear it was just everyday expenses like food and utilities plus Sarah had her own job she could easily cover her own expenses her income was less than half of what I used to make maybe even less basic necessities weren't her main worry it was the loss of the extravagant lifestyle I had provided that really bothered her we used to fly first class spend weeks in luxurious resorts in the Caribbean and eat at fancy restaurants just because we had the money designer handbags expensive jewelry shopping spree at high-end stores Sarah had enjoyed

all of it she never had to check prices because as long as I was employed money wasn't an issue when I quit that world vanished and she resented me for it the argument started subtly with sarcastic remarks about how I had all the free time in the world while she had to shoulder the responsibility no one had asked her to do that by the way she was doing it to maintain appearances I suggested canceling our club and hotel memberships but she renewed them anyway she was too ashamed to scale back our lifestyle so she continued

living it but this time at her own cost and she wasn't happy about it she started making subtle Jabs about how she was the only one with a real job now then the frustration grew the resentment built one Friday night she wanted me to go with her to some pointless social Gathering I declined when she returned and found me still working late she lost it I didn't sign up to be the only one bringing in money you said this would be temporary she yelled that was the first really big nasty fight and things only got

worse from there there was no turning back she'd complain about having to cancel our yearly ski trip to Switzerland about not being able to shop like she used to you want me to Go From Prada to thrift shops she'd ask every Bill we split became a source of conflict if I proposed cutting back on non-essential spending she'd roll her eyes maybe if you had a paycheck we wouldn't have two she'd snap and I didn't marry a broke man I really tried to stay focused to keep moving forward to block out the negativity but Sarah was

making it incredibly difficult her fights became crer more personal like she was actively trying to make me feel bad she started showing me off to our friends subtly at first making little jokes about how I was exploring my options while she was working extra hours then it turned into outright disrespect one day she came to me fuming Apparently one of our friends at the Country Club had asked if I was between jobs Sarah was mortified do you know how embarrassing that is she hissed everyone thinks you're a failure it made me angry at myself that

I ever cared what those people thought some nights she wouldn't even bother coming home saying she had to work late when she did come back she barely acknowledged me if I tried to hug her she'd become rigid if I tried to kiss her she'd offer her cheek one evening after another of Sarah's late nights at the office I tried to talk to her I asked as gently as I could is everything okay you seem distant she just Shrugged I'm tired Mark that's what happens when you're the only one working I'm working too I said my

voice Rising slightly just because I'm not getting a paycheck doesn't mean I'm not working oh right she said dripping with sarcasm working on your dream how's that dream paying the bills mark it will I insisted it just takes time time she scoffed that's all you seem to have these days she walked away leaving me standing there feeling smaller than ever I began to realize that she wasn't willing to support me through this challenging period and I'd have to face it alone but I was prepared to sacrifice for my goals New Year's Eve was the breaking

point we were invited to a big expensive New Year's party I had a meeting with a potential investor the following week and a lot to finish up so I suggested we go to a smaller house party instead which would be cheaper and less timec consuming but Sarah wasn't interested in a compromise she declared she was going to the big party with or without me I said fine you go this conversation happened before Christmas and we ended up not speaking even on Christmas day she wasn't even home she just left a note saying we'll be at

my aunts on New Year's Eve she got ready and left in the afternoon by around 9 or 10 p.m. I started feeling lonely and guilty about leaving her alone during the holidays I got dressed and drove to the party I tried calling her on the way but her phone was off or maybe there was no signal fortunately I had the party invitation in my email and managed to get in the place was packed and finding her in the crowd was a challenge I was determined to find her before midnight and give her a New Year's

hug I did find her but the scene was not what I expected she was with a man she introduced as a friend but I could tell there was more to it he seemed uncomfortable seeing me made some excuse about how they were alone bumped into each other and ended up spending the evening together I said okay then I'll leave you two alone the guy stopped me and said he was leaving and that I should stay with Sarah she didn't seem thrilled that I had come to find her I asked if there were other friends there

too and she said no so she ditched all our friends and family to spend New Year's Eve alone I wasn't naive enough to believe it was a coincidence at midnight the guy reappeared to wish her a happy New Year and the way her hand touched his arm for just a moment too long revealed everything he was some wealthy businessman who clearly possessed everything I currently lacked when we got back home I confronted her immediately she didn't even try to deny it her response was what if I am I have the right to make my own

decisions just like you do she had been involved with that man for months and was waiting for a chance to tell me that hurt more than anything I wasn't even angry just empty I had given her the benefit of the doubt for so long thinking she was just stressed that maybe things would improve once my business succeeded but she had already moved on emotionally and physically the marriage was over before I even knew it I told her you're right you have the right to choose and you've clearly made your choice so let's stop pretending and

end this she was offended that I said the words first she retorted you don't get to say that I'm going to leave you she went on to say that this guy was far more successful and stable than I would ever be and that she deserved nothing less I don't recall her exact words but she essentially said that she didn't want to cheat but my life choices had forced her to find a better partner because she didn't deserve a struggling aimless man she stayed with me as long as I provided for her and now that I

couldn't she had the right to move on to a better man I filed for divorce and she accepted it readily she moved out within a week no discussions no tears just a calm acceptance we divided the assets without much conflict she was too eager to leave too happy to be with a suitable partner a man with better sense more money and success it was incredibly painful to be abandoned when I was at my lowest but after a week of initial heartache I actually felt a sense of relief cutting the tie completely was much better than

living with a broken one every day I immersed myself in my work focused and determined 6 years later my business is doing well I have everything I once wished for a company I built myself it's not massive but it's something I can call my own a new life a new relationship not married yet but maybe in the future who knows then last week Sarah texted me on unexpectedly Hi how are you as if nothing had ever happened I didn't reply then another message and another I continued to ignore them but today she sent a long

one apparently I'm ungrateful I should respect her and at least respond because she supported me for a year when I was unemployed she listed every single thing she ever did for me every favor she now expected me to acknowledge she demanded respect as my ex-wife as if I'm obligated to reply to her I thought I had moved on I truly did but my anger flared when I read those words I never felt the need to Want My Success she didn't matter to me but after her demanding text I do want to show her what she

lost especially throw her own words back at her the one she said when she left me I told my girlfriend about it and she said something that resonated with me if this still affects you so much maybe you haven't fully moved on that made me question have I or should I just be indifferent to whatever Sarah says or does because right now I don't feel indifferent I feel angry I haven't replied to her nor do I intend to I just wanted to share this and see if anyone else has experienced something similar update one I

didn't reply to Sarah's text I had no reason to she was just a ghost from my past but apparently my silence wasn't a sufficient answer for her after a week of texts and lengthy emails one day my receptionist called me there's a woman named Sarah here to see you but she doesn't have an appointment and says she doesn't need one she was still that entitled arrogant person she randomly appeared at my office assuming I was waiting here to welcome her I told the receptionist to tell her I wasn't in today I wasn't going to entertain

whatever sad story she had I knew it was a sad story because if she had been living the perfect life she left me for she wouldn't be here she left after getting the message the next day she came back I had instructed my receptionist that if she showed up again to tell her I was away on a business trip and wouldn't be back anytime soon she did the same and Sarah left I thought it was over but then 10 days later she showed up again and this time she was there at the front desk before

anyone else arrived I entered the office and saw her waiting in the lobby I walked past her as if she were invisible she tried to follow me but was stopped by the front desk they informed her I was busy and therefore not seeing any visitors she told them she wasn't leaving without meeting me even if she had to wait there all day when I heard this I told the security to let her sit there until she got tired of waiting she had that same entitled stubbornness that same conviction that she could control how things went

a woman who once held her head so high who mocked me for not being successful enough was now sitting in my company's reception waiting for me whom she had abandoned it was I don't even have a word for it it wasn't satisfying not really it was just strange I thought maybe the discomfort of sitting there all day would eventually get to her but she didn't budge the receptionist a kind young woman looked increasingly uncomfortable she came to my office and she said Miss Sarah is getting quite upset she told me well yelled that she's your

wife I let out a short laugh and said she's not my wife Amy she's just a Wandering ghost from a past life please just ignore it later in the afternoon I needed to step out to grab some files from the printer down the hall as I walked past the reception area Sarah jumped up Mark she exclaimed her voice loud why won't they let me in don't they know who I am I'm your wife I stopped looked at her directly and said in a calm even tone no Sarah you're not my wife and no one here

needs to know who you are I could see the words hit her she visibly deflated a bit then her voice softer almost pleading she asked can we can we talk please just for a few minutes in private I hesitated fine I said my voice flat my office 5 minutes she followed me into my office her eyes darting around taking in the framed photos of my team and a discreet one of me and my girlfriend Lisa hiking she reached out as if to hug me I took a step back and said don't I said quietly but

firmly she flinched clearly stung why she demanded her voice Rising again why do you hate me so much why are you being so proud so unwilling to even talk to me to answer my texts I was your wife Mark I deserve some respect I was tired it had been a long day and I really didn't have have the energy for this drama look Sarah I said my voice weary just get to the point what do you want she was silent for a moment then in a small voice she whispered I messed up Mark I really

messed up that's pretty obvious I replied that's why you're here isn't it let me guess the far more successful man turned out to be not so successful after all the tears started then slow and Silent at first then turning into full-blown sobs she told me the whole predictable Story the guy Richard the one she left me for was a spoiled rich kid living off his father's money he showered Sarah with gifts trips and everything she quit her job thinking she'd never have to work again they got married traveled the world Liv The High Life the

problem was Richard refused to actually work he didn't contribute to his father's business he just spent the money his older brother who was actually running the business alongside their father resented Richard deeply eventually the father handed over the entire business and all the properties to the older son Richard got a small house and a failing Factory as some type of pity inheritance he couldn't even manage that factory and it went bankrupt within a few years he became cruel and abusive once the money dried up and one day he simply left her Sarah later discovered that

the house was mortgaged and since Richard couldn't make the payments the bank was going to seize it she went to her in-laws for help but they refused saying they had nothing to do with her or Richard it was a surprising turn of events certainly but I felt no shock no sympathy hadn't she brought this on herself I asked her my voice still impassive I still don't understand what do you want from me why are you here she looked at me disbelief in her eyes as if she couldn't comprehend my lack of reaction to her misery

then she continued I quit my job because of him I thought I'd never have to work again now I need to support myself but the problem is I've been out of the industry for years technology has changed so much and I don't know how to catch up I don't have the money for training no one wants to hire someone who's been out of the game for so long but you know me Mark you know what I'm capable of I interrupted her are you asking me too hire you I couldn't believe the audacity she nodded tears

streaming down her face I know I don't deserve it she said her voice choked with sobs but please mark give me a chance I let out a laugh you undermind me when I was trying to build something for myself I said you belittled me you resented me you walked away when I was at my lowest point and now you expect me to offer you a job sorry Sarah but I don't operate a charity she pleaded I don't even have a decent place to live I'm sharing a tiny apartment with a stranger I met online I've

sold most of my possessions just to stay afloat I have no savings left I'm eating cheap takeout and instant noodles I don't even own a car anymore I had to sell it to cover the rent I never imagined I'd end up in this situation and I know it's all my fault I was foolish I realize that now I was blinded by wealth by security but look at you mark you succeeded you proved me wrong and I'm I'm so proud of you leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret everything I did

to you she said all of this with a desperate look like somehow all this will change my mind I cut her off firmly telling her to stop with the manipulation I stated clearly that she was at the wrong place and that she wouldn't be receiving any assistance from me there would be no job and there would be no help she reached out trying to grab my hand but I pulled away sharply the touch even the thought of it felt repulsive she hesitated her voice barely a whisper I I was afraid of what the future held

I made poor choices but I understand things better now we had something genuine Mark can't we can't we try again I shook my head no no Sarah we can't and what we had wasn't genuine it was a transaction you were in love with a lifestyle I provided not with me and I'm afraid I can't continue this conversation my girlfriend wouldn't approve so please you need to leave confusion flickered across her face girlfriend she asked you have a girlfriend I couldn't help it a small smug smile crept onto my face it wasn't necessary but I reached

for the framed photo on my desk the one of Lisa and me taken during a recent hike her engagement ring was clearly visible on her face finger I held it up making sure she saw it yes I said my voice calm and steady this is Lisa she stared at the picture her eyes wide but you never post pictures with her she stammered is she is she real I checked with our mutual acquaintances and no one mentioned you having a girlfriend that's because I explained Lisa doesn't need designer clothes and extravagant parties to feel content we

value privacy and meaning in our lives she doesn't need me to be wealthy to love me it was the truth every word Sarah remained silent tears continuing to stream down her face for the first time she appeared genuinely broken up until this point she seemed to hold on to a sliver of hope that she could win me back now that hope was extinguished she wiped away a tear then another and whispered it's devastating I believed I was making a better choice but I discarded the best thing I ever had I believe we're finished here Sarah

I said my voice even you should go she hesitated for a moment as if she wanted to say something more but she held back that even I recounted the entire encounter to Lisa she listened patiently her hand resting on mine when I finished she asked how do you feel I was surprised by my own answer I wasn't bitter or elated or even sad in theory this should have been closure but I didn't feel any Joy at Sarah's Misfortune I felt nothing [Music]