my wife tricked me into having an open marriage so I left her for someone much better I've been grappling with my existence for several years now I can't recognize the difference between right and wrong I don't blame anyone but myself for this I let my wife do whatever she wanted just to have a happy marriage I followed her down that path knowing I didn't like it but I did it anyway to keep her happy I needed a place to vent my heart without any hesitation who else but a stranger can I tell that I let
my wife sleep with other men to keep her happy I've been married to my wife Bonnie who is 32 years old for seven years we had known each other for a long time Bonnie is my best friend's sister and we were part of the same Social Circle since our early 20s at first we dated different people but in our late 20s we fell in love and got married we had a beautiful marriage our Social Circle was common and we had known each other for a long time for the first 3 or 4 years we didn't
face any serious challenges in our relationship there were small agreements that were normal but after that she started complaining about our boring life she always had complaints about how our relationship was losing its spark it took me some time to understand what she wanted I'll get to that eventually we were doing everything to keep our marriage fresh going on dates hiking vacations parties games everything we did everything we used to do during our dating days strangely she wasn't saying what she really wanted from me she just complained and lamented about being bored when I asked
her what she wanted me to do she said to research that there were a lot of new things happening people were experimenting with new things to keep their intimate life exciting so I researched I proposed various ways to spice things up we started with role playing intimate toys and then slowly moved into BDSM we even took a crash course for it yes it was shocking for me too I had no idea of its existence there are professional trainers who train you for those things it was fun I had no complaints everything we did was within
the confines of the marriage and there was no third person present between us our relationship improved but my problem wasn't solved Bonnie loved every new thing we tried but her happiness didn't last long she got bored very quickly and always wanted something new it was like drugs for her the initial dose that makes you happy doesn't satisfy you when you do it over and over again you always want more after a year of this I ran out of ideas and almost gave up but we still continued with the things I mentioned earlier things got wild
after our trip to South Asia we stayed on a public Island in South Asia and found several massage parlors there there was something strange about those massage centers first of all it said erotic massage and your private mure secondly one of the highlights on the advertising board said your identity is confidential like what the hell Bonnie was intrigued by the whole thing she went and re researched more about it it was about getting a massage from the opposite gender with more focus on the private parts I rolled my eyes and Let It Go but Bonnie
didn't she insisted that I try it at least once she portrayed it as something cultural in Asia but believe me it wasn't on the day of our return we finally tried it so I entered the private cabin and there was a woman in a bikini waiting for me I lay down she started with a back massage she literally threw herself on me I could feel her forehead you know what I mean on my back and then she asked if I wanted her to take off her clothes I panicked and said no asked her to stop
honestly I thought it was some kind of scam or trap I quickly dressed and ran out of the cabin I called Bonnie but she didn't answer I asked about her at the reception and found out she was inside enjoying the session I was anxious not knowing what to do I saw a man who looked like he was from the US with a lot of hesitation I approached him and asked if this was what they did inside and he said yes they offered all kinds of services not just the massage literally everything means everything he assured
me it wasn't a scam but they charge you for all additional Services I was partially relieved that Bonnie wasn't caught in any scam but feared what was happening inside after a couple of hours she came out with a wide smile on her face her young Mur followed her to the main door smiling and speaking flirtatiously and she reciprocated we left and she asked how my experience experience was I was like did you know what happens inside she rolled her eyes and said yes I asked and did you enjoy it she smiled and said yes it
was very fun the guy was so good at his job that I just wanted more and more of him I asked what she did and she said normal stuff erotic massage and some tongue action down there she nodded and made it seem like it was all normal that's how we got into the real exploration game we returned home and she wouldn't stop talking about the benefits of the massage I told her I had no problem with a normal spa and massage which we frequently get but not with that erotic stuff but she convinced me to
try a couple's massage once after some resistance I agreed to try it together we called a professional Mur home and he did what he had to do Bonnie used to be very happy and excited during this whole phase our relationship really Shone and it felt like we were newlyweds again who just couldn't get enough of each other this continued for a few months and as usual Bonnie's excitement faded sooner than I anticipated one day she came and said you know couples who open their marriage are the ones who live happily ever after because they are
united by love and not by any other boundary finally it came to the point that we should also open our marriage obviously I went crazy she showed me various research articles that supported her claim I told her we already had professionals coordinating these things threesoms BDSM Etc she said she no longer enjoyed it with professionals and now wanted to try it with normal people she showed me many married couples who were into this and had long and happy marriages I was still not convinced when she suggested we try it with one of those married couples
and see how it went she promised we would stop if I didn't feel comfortable I agreed to give it a try I won't say it wasn't fun or that I didn't enjoy it I did but it felt like taking an illegal substance you know how it feels it gives you pleasure and you enjoy the highs but when you wake up the next morning you feel bitter about your choice you feel empty eventually we got into all sorts of things swapping casual encounters and more each time it was like let's do it once and then it
was like okay this will be the last time all this continued for more than 2 or 3 years initially I used to stay quiet after each session but then I stopped thinking about it maybe everything happened so fast that I couldn't process it and just went with the flow as an additional comment yes our relationship got stronger we didn't fight and Bonnie used to be happy we set some ground rules like no emotional cheating never doing it with anyone in our bedroom not hiding anything from each other and if we ever felt something for someone
we would stop seeing them if we told each other a year ago I met this woman Ela and felt she had the vibe I was looking for yes before that let me tell you that my number of casual encounters was much much lower than Bonnie's women in in general have an easier way of finding men Bonnie created a dating profile for me but my problem was that I was looking for people with similar mindsets but the people on that platform wanted action not Vibes so after a while I stopped trying aggressively going back to ELA
I met her at work she had recently had a breakup and was single at that time she was a contractor hired to assist me on a short-term project for a year we connected through work and eventually I told her about my marital status she was surprised that Bonnie and I were so open-minded she and I started meeting outside of work hours and yes we began a physical relationship but the problem was that I was becoming emotionally attached to her not just in bed I wanted to see her outside I stopped chatting with other women and
even when some approached me I avoided them my relationship with Bonnie was not going well although we lived in the same house we had our own worlds yes we were there for each other when we needed our better half but love was slowly escaping ing before meeting Ela there were times I wanted out of this I even discussed with Bonnie that we had enough of all this and should go back to a monogamous relationship but she was not ready yet she said it was okay but not now that we were still young and hadn't explored
enough then I met Ela and I stopped complaining to Bonnie after a few months I realized I was taking Ela seriously which meant I was emotionally cheating on Bonnie so I confronted Bonnie and told her everything she went crazy she said it was indeed cheating and I should stop seeing her immediately I tried to resist but she gave me a choice Ela or her I chose my marriage and gradually distanced myself from Ela Ela understood my coldness and by then her contract was about to end and she left the office I felt lonely again more
than lonely I had anger and frustration towards Bonnie this was not the life I wanted a week ago I was sitting in the living room and Bonnie was in the shower her phone was vibrating out of curiosity I peaked we never checked each other's phones I mean we knew what we were both doing what was the point there were incoming messages from someone saved his future I opened the chat and found out she was in a relationship with this man and the most shocking Revelation was that she was planning to divorce me and he was
doing the same with his wife it sent chills down my spine I looked through other chats but didn't find any she wasn't chatting or seeing anyone else but this man I looked at the timeline and found out they had been in a relationship for over a year even when I confessed about Ela she was swearing her love to this man and still she didn't tell me and instead asked me to end things with Ela I wanted to confront her right there but by then I had become numb I don't really feel anything so I just
put the phone back and pretended nothing happened Bonnie and I are almost strangers living in the same house after a week of knowing this I no longer feel anger it's more of a betrayal I have an existential crisis about about what I've done with my life I don't want to confront her I just want to disappear from here I have an appointment with the therapist but that's in 4 days also I have to resolve other things but not before releasing my emotions so I am here I know I called my misery upon myself and now
I have to deal with it update one thank you for the incredible support it really means a lot I knew I'd be called weak foolish and all sorts of names maybe I am a stranger's comment cannot hurt you more than a betrayal by your loved ones I've attended two sessions with a therapist and it helped clear my mind basically I had two options confront her and blow up her plot or silently resolve my issues before they strike I followed the second option I withdrew my contribution from the joint account I wanted to change jobs because
this one was close to Bonnie and under no circumstances did I want to cross paths with her I discussed that with my boss and he said there might be an opening in another location but it was in the next city I told him I didn't mind he still has to confirm it I am also looking for other job opportunities away from this place maybe in a neighboring City or outside the country I will look for the place once the job is resolved I also contacted her call it guilt or desperation but I wanted to tell
her the truth I asked for a meeting but she refused I insisted that I needed to confess the reason for my separation and she agreed I told her the whole story also about Bonnie's plan plan to divorce me and my counteract of ignoring her she said she felt sorry for me but she wanted to stay out of this mess I respected her decision and didn't contact her again I hired a divorce lawyer to settle the matter our marriage was complicated it wasn't a case of infidelity emotional cheating isn't legally recognized it's not that infidelity is
penalized in the States but it plays a role in alimony a gentlemen from this community warned me that a good lawyer can make the difference between alimony and settlement I hired one of the best lawyers in the city a bit expensive but I hope it's worth it he assured me that he would save me from alimony because Bonnie earned a considerably good salary if not more he asked me to remove her as my nominee from all sorts of legal documents and insurance which is still in process so yes that's all for now thank you again
for all the support I look forward to the comments both good and bad update two I have a pretty important update this time as I mentioned in my last post I had almost resolved everything before presenting her with the divorce papers the divorce papers were ready before that I had thought of various ways to burst her bubble but when the time came all I wanted was peace I wanted to move out quietly so I did that while she was at work I packed all my things loaded them into my truck and moved out I left
the sign divorce papers on the table with my lawyer's contact and a note that said I saved you the time and energy of preparing the divorce papers for me here they are by the time she got home and found the note I was already in my new apartment in the next city my boss helped me get a transfer to a different office location and I found a place nearby I haven't informed many people about this place only my brother my parents and yes Ela I will get to that in a moment Bonnie tried to contact
me but I had blocked her on all platforms I could see her calls and voicemails piling up in the blocked folder I knew she would understand my message she wasn't stupid after a while I got a call from her brother my college friend who introduced Bonnie to the group I didn't answer him he sent me an angry voicemail asking me to talk to Bonnie he was like how dare you ignore my sister for your lust if you don't come clean I will hunt you and your lover down wherever you are you can't hide from me
what the hell I opened some of Bonnie's messages and found out she was accusing me of cheating on her with Ela this was simply disgusting she was accusing me of cheating on her with Ela this was simply disgusting I was save her reputation but she was sabotaging mine instead of answering their calls I sent him the screenshots where Bonnie was discussing with her lover about divorcing me he replied can we talk I don't understand what you guys are up to I told him I didn't want to discuss this over the phone and asked him to
meet me in the afternoon he came quietly I told him I didn't want to involve him because it's his sister I briefly told him what had happened between us not the details I've elaborated on here but a summarized version he was surprised that his little sister was involved in this he asked about Ela Bonnie had told him that I ignored her because of ela I told him the truth I didn't need to but I still showed him the emails and chats where I had stopped all communication with Ela after the confrontation he wasn't entirely on
my side but he wasn't resentful towards me either he said he didn't know what to do now that he was in a dilemma I told him I understood and that he didn't need to take sides he asked if I was serious about the divorce I said yes and that Bonnie would is also planning the same so it's better if we separate amicably that's all that has happened so far update three this one will be shorter after meeting with me Bonnie's brother cleared things up with their parents apparently Bonnie and her parents were blaming him for
introducing me into their lives so he revealed the whole truth and eventually Bonnie also confessed the same he sent me a message apologizing to me Bonnie tried to involve her parents and her brother to get a better divorce settlement from me but they left her to deal with her problems alone she demanded a significant alimony but my lawyer stood firm since she earned quite well he did not let her get anything from me after much back and forth over the terms of the settlement the divorce was finalized I haven't had any updates about her since
then last week her brother called me during the divorce and even after he sometimes texted me but only to check on how we were doing we never discussed Bonnie this time he mentioned her first he asked about Ela honestly I downplayed my emotions and said we were still not sure he told me that Bonnie's condition had worsened and that she had to go to therapy her lover had left her there's no better way to say this but the lover realized that she is a swinger who jeopardized her stable marriage for a cheap thrill and he
couldn't trust that woman he had promised Bonnie he would divorce his wife once our divorce was settled but he left her at the last moment good decision he dodged a bullet I'm not sure if his wife knows about all this Bonnie isn't stupid enough not to have contacted her I'm sure she would have tried she would have tried by all means to ruin her Lover's life after he betrayed her but I know nothing about that nor did I ask her brother as for me I've settled quite well in this new city I upgraded my car
I've set up the house it's not luxurious but it's a cozy place that matches my taste ah yes I forgot to give details about Ela in the last update so yes we are together now after our last meeting where she wanted to stay out of it I didn't contact her but sometimes she would text me to ask how I was doing gradually we started talking regularly and I kept her updated on my divorce and things like that we are not officially a couple yet but I find her very mature and understanding the kind of person
I'm attracted to we still have to confess our feelings to each other but unofficially we are something and I think she feels the same about me in a subtle way she had told me that she seeks a monogamous relationship and that under no circumstances would she tolerate any kind of polygamy I assured her that I also share those values and that what I did in the past was for the love of Bonnie and to save my marriage I know she will need time to trust my words and I completely understand I also want to take
things slowly tomorrow is ela's birthday and she wishes to celebrate it with special needs children at the care home and I will take her there in my car I have made all the arrangements and it will will be a surprise for her I'm sure she will love it she really loves children and she is also associated with NOS that work with special needs children so yes I'm looking forward to having a good time with her