>> WELL, GUYS, TONIGHT IS THE LAST SHOW OF THE SEASON AND CHE AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT OUR END OF THE YEAR GIFT TO EACH OTHER WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE JOKES. >> SO WE'RE MAKING EACH OTHER READ JOKES LIVE ON AIR THAT THE OTHER PERSON HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. >> THE IDEA IS TO KEEP IT FUN, LIGHT, NO ONE'S GOING TO GET CANCELLED, NO ONE'S FAMILIES ARE GOING TO GET THREATENED.
HAVE FUN. >> WE'LL SEE. WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST?
>> ON OBESE MONKEY IN THAILAND HAS BEEN SENT TO A SPECIAL FACILITY TO LOSE WEIGHT. OFFICIALS REALIZED THE MONKEY WAS OVERWEIGHT WHEN A BUNCH OF BLACK GUYS KEPT HITTING ON IT. >> WELL, VEGAS IS OPENING A POPUP VACCINE SITE IN A STRIP CLUB.
DON'T WORRY, THE STRIPPERS SAY THE VACCINE IS LOT LIKE MICHAEL CHE, VERY QUICK AND YOU CAN BARELY FEEL IT GO IN. >> WARNER BROTHERS IS PRODUCING A NEW MOVIE IN WHICH SUPER MAN IS BLACK AND A BLACK SUPER MAN ACTUALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE WHEN YOU REMEMBER THAT SUPER MAN WAS ABANDONED BY HIS PARENTS AS A BABY. >> I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THAT ONE.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WARNER BROTHERS IS PRODUCING A NEW MOVIE IN WHICH SUPER MAN IS BLACK. IN THIS VERSION BLACK SUPER MAN'S CRYPTONITE IS AN HONEST DAY'S WORK.
>> WHOA. REALLY DOUBLING DOWN ON BLACK SUPER MAN. SAN DIEGO POLICE ARE BEING INVESTIGATED AFTER VIDEO SURFACED OF THEM USING EXCESSIVE FORCE ON A HOMELESS BLACK MAN ACCUSED OF URINATING IN PUBLIC.
BUT I SAY GREAT WORK KEEPING OUR STREETS CLEAN, BOYS. YES, SIR, ANYTHING THE POLICE DO IS ALL RIGHT WITH OLE MIKEY CHE. I KNOW I'M PROBABLY THE ONLY BLACK MAN BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY THIS ON LIVE TV, BUT BLUE LIVES MATTER EVEN MORE.
>> REALLY NICE. >> OKAY. WHOA.
>> THIS WEEK CONSTRUCTION BEGAN ON A NEW HIP HOP MUSEUM IN THE BRONX. I KNOW THAT WE HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH ME READING RACIST JOKES THAT MICHAEL WRITES FOR ME, BUT BECAUSE OUR COUNTRY IS ALREADY DIVIDED ENOUGH, I'D LIKE TO USE MY PLATFORM TO SAY SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE OF ALL RACES CAN AGREE ON. WOODY ALLEN IS INNOCENT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HE DID NOTHING WRONG. I JUST THOUGHT OF ANOTHER PUNCH LINE FOR THAT BLACK SUPER MAN JOKE. BLACK SUPER MAN WILL BE REFERRED TO AS THE MAN OF STEEL, SPELLED STEAL.
