Became My Parents' Forgotten Child, Was Excluded From Their Wedding After 25 Years Together, And...

became my parents forgotten child was excluded from their wedding after 25 years together and exposed them on social media I 17f was recently forgotten about on the day of my parents wedding my parents have been together for about 25 years but they never actually got married that's why when my dad 50 male proposed to my mother 49f on their anniversary which they have always celebrated on the date my mother found out she was pregnant with my eldest sister even tough they were already together before everyone including me was elated and celebrated the occasion with great

joy this happened all the way back back in February they immediately jumped into wedding planning deciding very early on on a small event in Hawaii with just the closest family and friends for an intimate ceremony almost immediately my mother asked my sister 25f to be her maid of honor and my dad asked my brother 22 meters to be his groomsman I wasn't surprised or offended by this my sister had always been a mommy's girl and they both enjoyed spending time with each other shopping and socializing so they had a very close Bond and the same

goes for my father and brother they always played football together and messed around with cars my father even trained my brother's team for a while in middle school that had always left me as the odd one out I tried to insert myself on my family's hobbies and groups that they had within our home but was always rebuffed maybe they could sense that my interest on their activities wasn't all that genuine or maybe they just didn't care either way I was used to being the last and least important member of my family mom had CIS and

dad had bro my parents at each other and my two siblings were closer to each other than they ever were to me leaving me very lonely and isolated in my own home during the preparation for the wedding initially it was suggested that I'd be the flower girl but my sister thought that Ro would be more appro apprpriate for her daughter 3F so that idea was quickly tossed away later on my maternal grandmother suggested that I might read a poem or do a little bit of a speech during the ceremony but both my parents refused because

they wanted the wedding to be low-key and they didn't think a Cheesy and sappy speech would fit their Vision their literal words I was still okay with all of this even though it hurt to know I would be the only member of the family to not actually be part of the wedding party or have any role at all on the day as the day approached my parents and siblings got more and more caught up on all the wedding planning I noticed my mom didn't invite me dress shopping and that when whenever they would have discussions

about the venue or the event I was left out so I decided to see if they would realize that I wasn't being involved at all and kept quiet waiting for them to ask me something anything about the wedding but that never happened the wedding was set for 3 weeks ago the end of August the day before the departure my mother casually asked if I had my luggage ready because we couldn't be late to the airport I bluntly told her that I hadn't prepared anything she got confused for a second and then snapped at me for

not being prepared I then asked her if I even had a ticket and her face went pale yep they hadn't even bought me a ticket and I'm not not even sure if I had a room or any accommodations once there even though I was the only person in my family without unstable income I work as a part-time babysitter my parents had bought first class tickets for my siblings and a couple other friends that were attending the wedding but had forgotten me my mom told me not to make a big deal out of it and that

they can just find me a lowcost ticket last minute from a cheap airline but I just replied by asking her then what do I even have a dress for the ceremony she went with sis to buy hers and all the other female guests months ago but I wasn't te included that's when my father came in and just told me to suck it up and that I've I've never been a girly girl so I could just wear whatever I got mad at this because even though I'm not the most feminine girl on the planet I would

have loved to be included in such an important part of my parents wedding and it was about the fact that I was excluded for literally everything that had been going on for months we all got into a fight with them calling me entitled and accusing me of making myself small intentionally so they would forget me like that is a valid excuse for ignoring a child they ended up telling me that if I was going to keep this attitude I might as well skip the whole thing Al together to which I responded with a defiant fine

and went to my room next morning they all left for Hawai without me the ceremony was really small but they all posted loads of pictures on Insta and Facebook about how perfect and magical that whole week was being people realized quickly that I wasn't in any of the photos and asked my parents why to which they replied that unfortunately I had caught Co before the trip and had to stay behind my blood boiled at this I don't know why this was the straw that broke the camel back for me but it was I decided to

take a covid test and published a picture of myself holding the negative test and captioned it not sick at all just forgotten I tagged everyone that had questioned my absence from the trip and the wedding in the picture and for good measure also every person invited to it I also wrote in the comments about how my parents had literally forgotten about anything to do with me until the day before parting and how they actually Uninvited me most people were on my side and others couldn't believe it and thought there must be something more to the

story than what I was saying but one thing is for certain I completely ruined my parents wedding and their day was overshadowed by my confession At first I felt quite satisfied with myself for standing up on my own butt after a barrage of messages from my family calling me every name in the book and later when they came back them furiously attacking me for my IM mature actions and my spoiled Behavior My Pride deflated quickly and I began to feel awful I hate my family and I hate being in this house but I'm a minor

and can't leave just yet I do feel like I could have handled the situation better though and now I feel so depressed that I'm second guessing everything I did from not speaking up before to the way I exposed them I also feel guilty for the lack of connection between all of my family and me and maybe I could have done more so Ada for ruining my parents wedding when they forgot about me commenter NTA can you move in with Grandma their history of rebuffing you whenever you try to participate with them so says this wasn't

a one-off it's like they don't even consider you family no judge is going to force you back to their house at 17 if you have a place to go get your things and your documents and go oop hi thank you for your comment I would like to live with my grandma but I am due to start my classes in college soon I was able to arrange it for a start later on the school year and my school is in the same city where we live but grandma lives in another state so I would have to

drop out to leave I don't have any other family here just friends and I don't want to be in imposition commenter does your school have dorm rooms is this something you could plan for next semester or finish this semester out and look at transferring to a school near your grandmother oop the school has dorms but I don't qualify for financial aid and I don't know how much they cost apparently a lot since I have a friend that's going to go to the same College as me and she has just rented in studio near campus that

seems to be a better deal according to her and the plan had been for me to stay at home during my stud i. e oop my grandma was not able to attend the actual wedding she lives in another state and traveling is very difficult for her due to mobility issues so we only see her when we go to my mom's Hometown I know she saw my FB post and called me to ask how I was doing but I put on a brave face for her and I haven't called her since but we text I don't

know if she knows more of the context of what happened or if my parents have told her a different version of the story but she is very sweet to me and has always called out my parents for their favoritism I just feel exhausted Lately from everything and the last thing I wanted to bother her so I haven't called her again since barely after the wedding comment her at a certain point it just feels intentional did you ever learn what motivated your family to ignore you I feel like op could use some insights here and you

have experience with this oop I have no idea other than the fact that they are very close-knit between themselves and I don't seem to fit in I've never liked the same hobbies and activities as them I'm quite an introvert and like being at home watching movies or reading a book meanwhile both of my parents love to be the life of the party and host events at our home often for their friends and my siblings also enjoy this events when I was a kid I was more shy and always hid in my bedroom or the basement

to avoid people but as I grew up I started participating more in this parties but my parents don't seem to care that is the only explanation I can find to their behavior but I still feel like it's not enough Commander if it's real could op be in Fair child she is quite a few years younger than her siblings and it would explain a lot oop I have no idea about that it's something that has never crossed my mind I feel like my parents have always been a very close couple and spend a lot of time

together and seem very happy so I don't think my mother would cheat come enter down voted yeah seems a bit odd to me that op called forgotten child made an account specifically to create this one post I understand why people use throwaways but I'm always a bit suspicious that these accounts are made for the purpose of creating rage bait oop I created a throw away because I didn't want to give out my personal info which you could easily find on my main and unfortunately this is not fake all of you are the first to ever

bring the affair Theory to my mind and I don't know what to make of it I hope it's not true commenter first class tickets for the wedding party and other guests but not their youngest child how is this even possible then they don't fix it by getting you a first class ticket but an ecomony ticket because it is cheaper did she even have accommodations no dress either just wear whatever now it's your fault that they are thoughtless hell no ffs these parents suck oop I think when she said a cheaper Airline she meant it because

it was more likely that way that I could get there on time since their flight was apparently all booked out again I don't know about accommodations they made no mention of that they all stayed at the same hotel where they have the ceremony but that's all I know commenter backslash backslash she should put her energy into finding better sources of fulfillment as opposed to continuing any fight for minimum acknowledgement from her parents and siblings oop I honestly don't have the strength to do much these days I'm set to start college later in the year and

the plan was that I would live home since it's not far but now I just want to leave but I don't know how I don't have enough savings or a job right now and the idea of going out to get one just feels so overwhelming right now I don't want to drop out but I want to go elsewhere I wrote this yesterday because I needed to vent but I didn't want to create more drama that's why it's Anonymous commenter if she is PLA and as for college she should go ahead with the Emancipation process emancipation

will save her a fortune on her education and I guarantee you those crap parents she has did not intend to help her in any way oop the idea before all of this was that I would go to a college in my hometown it's a great College downtown that I'm very happy I was accepted to and a couple of my HS friends are going there too and live at home I was saving to buy a car for easier access and they were going to pay for my tuition and all of that but now I just want

to leave this house commenter be strong don't let them get under your skin even if you have to get roommates or move in with a friend leave as soon as you're comfortable with finances there are Facebook groups and such for looking for roommates especially in call areas oop I know that's what I should be doing I do have a friend that is moving to a studio apartment near our college but I don't have aob job at the moment and I don't want to be a burden to her she and I are close so I'm sure

she would offer for me to move in with her but I don't want to be a burden also I don't have a job at the moment so I couldn't pay rent so that's something else I need to do at the moment update one thank you so much a few days ago I could barely find the energy to get out of bed and my family's comments had made me really believe that I was guilty for all that had passed but after seeing the responses to my post and all the support you guys were giving me I

felt somewhat reaffirmed in my actions and feelings towards my family I'm still fighting the feelings of guilt and depression but whenever I start to spiral I think on how much this community of strangers has had my back and I try to calm myself down with your words thanks to your input and advice I finally decided to call my Grandma and tell her the full story just to clarify a point before going on I said this in the comments but I feel like I should put it here also my grandma 77f did not attend the wedding

she lives several states away and has mobility issues so she doesn't travel anymore we went to visit her around Easter and that's when she commented that I might read a poem at the ceremony but that was the last time I saw her in person before all this she's always been very loving to me and has called out my parents in the past for their favoritism but it's hard for her to play a more active role in my upbringing since she lives so far and I am always worried about bothering her due to her age and

health condition she had a minor stroke a few years back and is now back to normal but I still worry anyway I called her and laid out everything that had happened with the wedding and how my parents didn't even buy me a ticket to go with them she came to the same conclusion that most commenters did when I told her that that it was simply impossible that they had forgotten and that they did it on purpose I cried on the phone with her laying out how I was feeling how this has been going on forever

how I feel in the aftermath and most importantly about my need to get out she was extremely sweet and comforting to me and told me that I had nothing else to worry about because she had my back 100% and told me to take it easy but make plans for my future and that she'd help me after that conversation which lasted about 2 hours I felt better and I decided to listen to her and start moving to figure something out for the next school year I have a friend who is going to lease a studio next

to our future campus she has a great relationship with her parents but she has five younger siblings and wants to be more independent so that's why she decided to move out I asked her if I could move in with her temporarily and I would pay her rent as soon as I got a job she immediately accepted and told me not to worry about rent or anything else until I was in a better position and we had a good cry together when I told her all about my parents wedding incident so this all happened a couple

days ago and I was planning on doing the update then but my grandma called my parents and my siblings to lecture them about how they were treating me my brother just sent me a text afterwards with a half-hearted apologize saying that he didn't know I wasn't included and that he just thought I wouldn't have fun on the trip and then I posted the pic just to create drama my sister on the other hand berated me and told me that I kept trying to make make public my own problems and pinning them on my family when

they are all innocent it has been weird with my parents ever since they came back from the trip and at first they berated me and were furious with me and after that we've just been ignoring each other after my grandma called them they came into my room telling me that if I wanted to put this whole issue to rest I should shut up about it and that this could all had already blown over if only I had kept my mouth shut I just asked them to leave my room and then I called my grandma again

to tell her what had gone down she then told me that she and my uncle had bought plain tickets to come down to see me this was something that I was actually scared of because my grandma's health is not the best and this kind of effort is a lot for her and I know how complicated it is for her to get on a plane so I tried to dissuade her from coming and told her everything would be okay but she wouldn't listen and told me that she was long overdue a conversation with my parents and

that she wanted to see me I'm stressed for her and I feel again like I forced her to take a long uncomfortable trip because of me and that maybe I should have dealt with this myself I do want to see her and I wish for nothing more than to hug her right now but I'm worried about her at least my uncle mom's older brother is coming with her but I hope she doesn't exhaust herself or nothing happen happens to her because that would break me they arrive tomorrow and have not informed my parents of their

trip my grandma asked me to keep it until she gets here I hope she is able to make my parents see the mistake in their actions or at the very least help me break the news to them that I'm moving out very soon and I plan on being no contact with them I don't know I'm worried about her having to do so much for me and bothering her but I also appreciate and love her so much for doing all this for me update two there's been a lot of people messaging me and commenting on the

post and I haven't had time to answer to no one until today and I'm sorry for that you all have been so helpful and caring for me in my story and it's been truly eye-opening and terrifying to see how many people have gone through similar stories of neglect and abuse and I just want to thank you all for taking time out of your day to send some kind words to this internet stranger this update will be long so sorry about that I'm just going to continue where I left off so my grandma called me to

tell me she was coming here to see me and help me out I was very stressed about it because my Grandma has a very hard time traveling so for her to take this trip meant that she would be under enormous stress and I felt responsible for her since I was the one that called her she arrived early Monday morning with with my uncle and I went to get her at the airport NGL it was a very intense and emotional moment and as soon as I saw her I ran to her arms and broke down sobbing

I don't even know if I was able to tell her anything at that moment because of how hard I was crying and I had so many things to say thank you for coming for being so good to me for having my back I'm sorry to have made you take this trip I feel awful at home I don't know if my parents love me but I know you do am I an a fair child I truly was hit with all of this plus the guilt and the anxiety all at once when I saw her but she

held me te ght In Her Arms telling me everything was going to be okay my uncle hugged us as well I don't know how long we stayed like this but it must have been a while until my uncle told me we should get going we grabbed a cab and went to their hotel my Grandma had teary eyes and I could feel her breathing heavily which scared me but she kept hugging me and smiling all the way she had reserved a double room so I could stay with her for these days and once they were settled

in and I was more calm we sat down and I poured everything out for them the years of neglect and the emotional abuse how I was feeling miserable after the trip but also for years now how my parents have been trying to make me feel guilty for all of this that has happened how I was scared about my future but my an one priority at the moment now was to move out of that house even at the expense of my school work how I've made arrangements to move in with my friend and I was looking

for a job and I told them about this post and how some people thought I might be an affair child and that I was beginning to question that as well it was a lot and I could tell they were both really affected by what I was saying but they kept comforting me and making me feel safe to open up to them after I unloaded all my concerns with them my grandma reassured me that I had nothing to worry about anymore and that she would be here for me always first of all she reassured me that

I was not an affair child and that both my parents were thrilled when my mother got pregnant with me and that she knew the ultimate deal breaker for my mom was cheating and she believed it was the same for my father apparently the favoritism began showing when I was around 3 to four years old when my parents were constantly complaining about having a young kid in the house and they were bothered because they could take my older siblings to their stuff but not me and I was also very shy and a bit of a crybaby

which they had no patience with a n d made me very different from my siblings she told me that she knew that my parents had saved more than enough for my college they're really well off so that it never been a concern for me until now thinking they might pull the funds away from me for my education but that if they tried to not pay for my schooling she would take care of it and that she just wouldn't let me drop out because of money concerns she also told me she would help me with rent

and an allowance to move out she was very generous and I thanked her for it all but I also told her that this experience had been eye opening in the sense that I never realized how privileged I had been economically all my life for all their faults my parents have pampered me MoneyWise all my life I went to private school I have a rather large monthly allowance I've had a card for years now and they have never objected to any of my expenses seeing the stories here I realized how good I've had it so far

and how being Dependable on them all my life made me so exposed to losing everything and I want to be independent now not just for my parents but from everyone I feel like I need to learn to stand up on my own writing this and having just read all the stories of people in truly awful situations makes me feel like I've been a spoiled bread all my life TBH she insisted on me accepting my help until I don't need it anymore and I accepted that but I'll still will look for a job and try to

make it out on my own we relaxed for a while in the hotel because we were all exhausted from the morning but in the afternoon we grabbed a cat and went to my house my parents were extremely surprised to see my grandma and Uncle with me when I entered the door but before they could say anything my grandma told me to go pack all my essentials while they talked to them I rushed upstairs and I could hear my grandma and Uncle berating my parents for all that they had put me through at first I also

heard my parents try in to defend themselves but eventually they quiet down when I came downstairs with two suitcases and my backpack full to the brim with everything important that I had in my room they were all in the living room my father was beat red and my mother was sobbing like a child and when she saw me she extended her arms on my Direction saying she was sorry but I just said save it with the coldest tone I could muster and my dad said that I didn't have to be jerked to which both my

uncle and grandma told him to shut up I left the house at that moment and waited for the cab outside in the hotel my grandma reassured me that I wouldn't have to go back to them and that they told her my college tuition was never in question for them and that they had planned to throw me an extravagant birthday party to make up for the wedding mess and were going to be giving me a car as an apology for everything but my grandma was having none of that BS because it was pretty obvious to her

that they were only trying to save face and they were coming up with this things on the Fly and that a party in a car would not make up for all that they have put me through apparently the moment that broke my mother was when she told her that I had even questioned my paternity and she started crying then but my grandma told her that what else could they expect when they had excluded me repeatedly from all family events since I was a child she told me that she would make sure they made the payments

to my school unless I preferred to completely cut ties with them and have her pay until I can pay myself and I asked her to do that I felt bad because I feel like it's not her responsibility but I truly don't want anything else from my parents anymore and although my grandma is pretty well off herself she's not as wealthy as my parents but she reassured me that everything is all right and that everything going to me would be taken away from my mom's inheritance so the next day we went with my friend he our

parents and Grandma to the studio where we were planning to move and immediately upon arriving my grandma said absolutely not I knew from pictures that the studio was very very small and dirty but we saw water damage and mold in the bathroom and kitchen ad and there was also rust in the little old appliances I knew all of this beforehand but I figured I could live with that at least for a while but the thing that the adults pointed out that actually made me and my friend change our minds was the fact that this studio

was street level in a bad neighborhood and a building that didn't seem particularly safe and had bullet holes on the walls which I didn't even know what those were until my friend's dad pointed it out so Grandma and my friend's parents said they would look for an apartment for us in a better location and they'd help cover the costs both my friend and I want to be independent but we realized that with our most likely minimum wage jobs in such a high demand area we won't be able to find anything better on our own So

the plan is we're going to look for a two-bedroom apartment and me and my friend are going to pay what we had previously planned for the studio and her parents and my grandma will cover the difference I know it's still quite spoiled of me to expect that help from my grandma but after seeing the studio in person I truly wouldn't have felt safe there my friends parents who were somewhat aware of what I was going through told me that I could move in with them until we find a nice apartment to which I'm extremely grateful

since grandma is going back in a couple of days and I've been staying in the hotel with her ever since apparently my friend her parents and my grandma spoke about this before coming to me to make sure I had some safe place to stay until we move into the apartment which is still to be found I teared up a little as I thanked them seeing how people were rallying behind me to offer help since then I've been moving so me of the stuff I had left at my parents and setting my space and my friends

my mom keeps crying and apologizing every time I go back and even my father has said sorry but I remain distant and cold towards them my sister called and said that her mother was a mess and that I was a d back/ CK for what I had done but before she could say anything else I hanged up the phone and blocked her I was going to block my brother as well when I saw that he had sent me a very long message apologizing again and again for all that he has done to me and for

not realizing our parents were treating me so poorly he says he's been doing a lot of self-reflection on the days since grandma called and realized that he had been in the wrong for assuming I wasn't on the trip because wouldn't want to go in for just allowing my parents to exclude me for all those years I sent a brief reply thanking him for his words but telling him I need space and I was not ready to accept his apology I feel like he might be genuine because he has never been nasty to me the way

my sister has just aloof towards me but I also feel like I need to keep him away for the moment also keeping a bridge up with my family feels like the right thing to do right now that everything is so fresh maybe in the future he will show me he's just as nasty as everyone else and I'd block him but as long as he respects my boundaries I feel better not cutting him off completely I've also made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in neglected teens and I have my first preliminary visit next week

again funded by my grandma which makes me feel ever more eager to find a job ASAP to take the burden off of her even if she tells me time and time again she is happy to do all of this for me that's where things stand right now I don't know if I'll update again maybe when I start classes or move to the apartment but right now I'm just trying to enjoy some time with my grandma and my uncle and learn to grow and get rid of this feelings of guilt and depression that have been plaguing

me for so long I want to thank once again all of this community for being so nice and helpful to me and all of you who have messaged me with your own personal stories of getting kicked out or having to learn how to make it on your own at a too early age you've helped me feel a lot less alone and made me realize that things can get better if I work hard for it I feel kind of spoiled for having such an amazing support system on my grandma uncles and my friend but you all

guys are right reaching out has been the absolute best decision I could have taken an opening up about my feelings to those who love me and to all of you internet friends has absolutely saved me so thank you really I'm more grateful than words can ever tell commenter I'm curious when you've gone back to collect things what exactly have your parents been saying oop my mother has been crying every time I've gone there and just saying I'm sorry over and over again but I haven't had a conversation with her so she hasn't mentioned specifics but

I also haven't given her a chance my father has been mostly silent staring at me whenever I come and go but when he apologized it was more along the lines of I'm sorry for everything than bringing any wrongdoing for his part on anything I don't know if they are shocked right now by everything that's happening I myself feel overwhelmed and haven't had time to process or if they don't think they've done anything wrong and are just acting for Grandma I don't know myself so I can't really answer comment her backslash backslash don't cut off your

nose to spite your face in terms of college money your parents need to foot that bill in full don't hamper yourself with that expense when they can afford it it is the very least they can do oop my grandma has already told me that it's unacceptable for me not to go to college if the reason is that my parents won't pay and she won't allow W me to get a student loan either I asked if she would coign and she flat out told me no that she would pay herself rather than see me stressed about

the financial aspect of it I won't jeopardize my education for my parents but since I have this option to have my grandma pay that's what I'll do because I rather this money not come from my parents knowing them they would dangle this fact for the rest of my life like I owed them I'm very lucky that my grandma will take care of this I feel like I don't deserve her commenter I hope you aren't feeling guilty for coming from a well-off family op you're not spoiled you seem more self-aware than a lot of people with

your same background working and living a life independent of your family will open up the world to you I truly don't think you're a spoiled rich kid working for the things we need and what can create character and teach us so many things I E how to handle difficult people in situations professionally the value of each hour and dollar earned teamwork societal structures and so on I'm glad you have a safety net with your grandma and don't listen to anyone who would degrade you for that a lot of us are living hand to mouth and

paycheck to paycheck and I absolutely do not wish that on someone just starting out in life if you ever want to update about how things are I'm definitely going to read it thank you for sharing a very difficult time in your life oop I do feel more than guilty angry about my background and how blind I've been all my life to all my privileges this self-awareness aess that you were talking about I have discovered in the last couple of weeks because when I first fought with my parents I barely thought about money or how would

I sustain myself that's always been a given for me which I guess is nice considering I'm not yet 18 but after posting here and seeing messages of people who have had to struggle so much with the financial repercussions of being neglect Ted or cutting out your family or going out to the world at a very young age made me realize how out of touch with reality I was