-Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you very much. It's so great to be back hosting "Saturday Night Live" for a second time. I wasn't sure if I would host again, but I couldn't resist when I heard they booked my favorite-ever musical guest.
[ Laughter ] I finished my last tour in 2023, and after that, I took a bunch of time off. I realized I had spent half my life in music, touring, creating albums, and making songs about fruit that people think are about sex. [ Laughter ] I just really like fruit, guys.
I like sex, too. [ Cheers and applause ] You know, when you're on holiday, it's like five in the afternoon, you're all covered in sand. You and your partner are all sweaty and hot, and you stumble back to the room and you just wanna, hm, papaya.
Back then, people seemed to pay a lot of attention to the clothes I was wearing, and some people accused me of something called "queerbaiting. " But did it ever occur to you that. .
. maybe you don't know everything about me, Dad? !
[ Cheers and applause ] I ran it past him. He was fine with it. I get asked a lot about what I've been up to on this break.
Honestly, I learned a lot about myself. Like I've always known that I'm someone who talks rather slowly. But I found out it's not that.
I'm tremendously boring. I took up jogging. There's nothing interesting about that.
But because I'm me, people pretend to find that interesting. But I don't run to be interesting. I do it for the feeling it gives me.
That runner's high. It's just amazing. Watermelon sugar high.
Runner's high. And if that doesn't do it for you. .
. I also love ecstasy. [ Laughter ] But you know what?
As a British man who's spent a lot of his life in the public eye, I can assure you there's something nice about being boring. It's better than the alternative. [ Laughter ] During my break, I found a new home in a small, old Italian village.
It has 11 full-time residents, which is really fun. It's pretty cool to be able to say you've had sex with 100% of the people in your town. But I'm very, very happy to be back at work now.
I have a new album out. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. It's called "Kiss All the Time.
Disco, Occasionally. " And some people have asked me where I got that title from, and I'll let you guys be the first to know. I did a prompt on ChatGPT that said "give me the most Italian phrase to ever exist.
" And it came back with. . .
[Italian accent] It's a-me, a-Mario! Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally!
" [ Cheers and applause ] [Normal voice] And I loved it. Because what's better than kissing all the time? Which I don't actually do.
I don't want to kiss all the time. I mean, sometimes kissing can be great. You know, if you're really good at it and you're a good person.
Or if you have a tight little bum. -Hey. -Hey, Ben.
-Hey. -What are you doing up here? -Well, you said tight, little bum.
So where's my kiss? [ Chuckles ] -Come on, Ben. Everyone knows there's nothing little about that thang.
You're haulin' a damn wagon back there. -Facts. -Whatever.
Come here. [ Cheers and applause ] Now, that's queerbaiting. [ Ding!
] We have a great show for you tonight. I'm here and I'm here. So stick around, and we'll be right back.
Thank you.
