One of the biggest problems I see with working with highes and high performance is that we need to acknowledge daily the smallest things not make them big because the bigger it is the more complicated it is it's like you're never ever going to feel fulfilled Emil Steen a former Global model for vers Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein Emil has over 14 years of coaching experience impacting more than 800 lives and dedicating over 1,000 Hours to transformative sessions I didn't think that I was enough I always wanted to be the best and the reason why I
wanted those things is because I was seeking validation from my father and I always look at that whenever I'm looking at or coaching like high performers or high Achievers I'm like where did it stem from it's the Deep desire to be seen heard and understood to be felt to be acknowledged and the biggest problem we don't do for ourselves is we're Waiting for someone else to do it for us some of the biggest blind spots I see is the lack of boundaries because you can be so good at what you do and because you're so
good at what you do they get burnt out literally the hardest thing is pulling yourself away from it yeah there's been so much noise out there with morning routines and it's it's gotten pushed out of proportion when you get in the ice bath it is one of those habits that once you get in it sharpens Your focus like that it's like you can't be anywhere else but present what are some things that self-sabotaging patent self-sabotaging actions results that might be playing out people's lives You' heard of the upper limit yes right remember Will Smith punched
Chris Rock in the face the famous slap he hit an upper limit and what happened everything went crashing down so do you see he hit he went the upper limit he was he was about to go to the next part the other Side of that upper limit was a welcome back to the podcast I'm so good to recircle this I think you're actually one of my first like 50 guests that's how far long ago we were on this podcast so I want to dive into so many new things but I want to kind of tap
into you know your whole past was you're you're one of the like biggest models you were modeling for some of the biggest companies brands in the world like bace Armani like some of the Biggest brands and now you've gone a completely different direction you're a transformational coach working with high performers uh Elite entrepreneurs and one of the things you work with a lot of them on is tapping into more fulfillment and I'm wondering if where did that desire for change come from did it did you go down the path of like being super unfulfilled doing
a career that was what most would probably look at as like a dream career yeah exactly that I Literally um I was modeling for for a good 12 years around the world I had agencies in New York Los Angeles Hong Kong Barcelona Germany Italy um I was living the dream mhm how old were you when you were doing all this when I first started modeling I was uh 21 when I first went overseas so I started about 20 and then I went overseas went to Hong Kong for my first trip away and the whole thing
was like This illusion like you're like what is this how does this work you you know you don't understand anything and I look at it like it's like the Matrix so you're like you're trying to figure out how this works you're going to castings um you're constantly getting put in uncomfortable situations because you're getting faced with rejection all the time so modeling taught me so much about myself it taught me about my desires it taught me about my fears Because it's it's one of those things that you can't hide it's like you're in front of
a camera it's like how do you show up confident in front of a camera you know so all these things that I was actually super shy and I wouldn't say shy I was actually just [ __ ] scared of being rejected so what did I do I put myself in a career that um I had to go towards every single fear that I was avoiding now what most people don't know is that I didn't think that I was enough right I was always a perfectionist I always wanted to get better I always wanted to be
the best and the reason why I wanted those things is because I was seeking validation from my father I was seeking to be approved of I wanted him to see me and because he didn't Express or say Well done or I'm proud of you or give me that that affirmation back I just thought got it's Got to be bigger it's got to be better it's got to be huge and then he'll notice me and and I think this is where most high Achievers and high performers stem from from they get their their thing from their
lack um Michael Jordan example was cut from his high school Varity team in basketball even growing up as a kid he wasn't the best basketball player he would always uh get beaten by his his older brother and he always wanted to be Seen by his father his father would always be like get in the kitchen or go go into the house with your with your mom and his brother older brother would always go with his father so there was a deep desire there to be seen to be the best you know and and and I
always look at that whenever I'm looking at or coaching like high performers or high Achievers I'm like where did it stem from and it's the Deep desire to be seen heard and understood to be felt to be Acknowledged to be seen and the biggest problem we don't do for ourselves is we do that for ourselves we're waiting for someone else to do it for us so going back to like the modeling career I jumped into a career because I didn't feel any of that and what's modeling it's like you're paraded around it looks good you
know the glamour you know you you got there's women everywhere the most beautiful women in the world um you get into the most exclusive parties um I Was in New York and I'm going into one Oak and like we get free dinners and we're getting picked up in SUVs and the next table Jay-Z's partying yeah on the next table with us and it's just a normal occurrence and you just get treated like this but it's not real and the thing that's not real about it is that this whole illusion of what it looks like versus
what you're doing every day like we I had to train I trained so consistently made sure I was In the best shape of My Life um everything was revolving around how I looked and am I going to book that next job but the thing that's [ __ ] up about that is that when you're constantly looking on the outside sometimes you can forget the inside and although I started to go from Australia to Hong Kong to um La then getting an agency in New York and and other countries in Europe it looks like I'm I'm
living the Dream bro I'm on billboards getting paid really good money um I'm meeting women like I'm young and I'm traveling around the world and it looks great but I'm also getting to the stage of probably about my eth year of modeling where I'm like I'm not fulfilled it's not it's not lighting me up like I thought it would right and you've heard this so many entrepreneurs Do this like we get to that million dollar Mark or you get to this thing and you're like I did it what I thought it was yeah yeah I
did that I remember I one of a huge goal for me was I want to be interviewed and so my last company when when I was when I was building it I'm like I want to be the number one income owner under the age of 25 in the company and I want to be interviewed on stage by the billionaire founder and the day they kind of both happened like I Hit number one that week and I was being interviewed that same week and I remember after the interview it was literally that whole story of like
this [ __ ] sucks like it was in a weird way of like um and and I'm interested to sort of dive into high achiever like High aever I've been like focusing quite a bit on this lately and this calling High Cher syndrome because I think it really is but I remember like getting off that stage just been like deflated And 6,000 people in the room uh my face was on the Billboards everywhere and after just going like oh this is so this is not what I thought it was um but then because I sort
of knew that thought might have been coming I was just so conflicted but how I've sort of gotten over that since then is continually moving the goost I realized IIT a I'm like is that it when I didn't move the post again and it's I put all the fixation on when I Achieve that I'm going to hopefully feel this so I'm going to not feel the enjoyment now I'm going suffer now when I get it hopefully I'll feel this thing so how I've sort of done it now is making sure I'm really enjoying the process
like there's not really a day goes by except when I'm filming content like yesterday we did a Content date and I said to my team I'm like I genuinely have no [ __ ] Joy doing this I really but it's like the one day month I'm like Let's just [ __ ] do it I'm already thinking at the end of my day today I'm go to bed and think today was a boring day but I I got to do it right um so how I get through the the like I focus on things I actually
do enjoy so when the outcome still comes I'm like this is amazing it's just another day another day that I still get to enjoy but it's not it because what's the next thing and I keep moving the GoPro otherwise I I will sink I think that's a really vital Thing that you said and I think for anyone is listening or watching the the fact that you're moving the goalpost most people don't yeah right most people are like when I get this then I'm going to feel this and then I'm going to have this feeling and
it's going to satisfy all of my needs and it doesn't and this is where depression kicks in this is where that that feeling of like emptiness kicks in and you're like what's next I've worked my whole life For this thing I got to it and it didn't give me the thing that I thought it would give me and this is why vision and the why needs to so big right and if we don't have that vision and a big why then what's going to happen is we're constantly going to keep hitting the head your head
on the board right there's going to be no drive or inspiration I say inner inspiration it's just going to be constantly like a motivation which motivation is relied on Outside inspiration is coming from inside so we always need to constantly reevaluate reconnect and go what's the inspiration for this what's my values and we have to always go back to the vision and then rwe it rwe it because you're not the same person you were when you were 25 compared to now mhm and if we keep relying on a vision that we created 5 years ago
with the mindset that we had 5 years ago you're going to grow out of it if you're not actually Consistent you will grow out if you are consistent you'll grow out of it in like 6 months do you find it to be like a delicate dance between going continually moving the goal post but then not being able to celebrate at the same time okay so I say the thing is with high high Achievers and high performance what we don't do accelerate is is acknowledge ourselves right and why don't we Acknowledge ourselves because it's the still
not done yet yes or it's the whole thing of it's not big enough yeah I've got to wait until it's bigger and this is the problem one of the biggest problems I see with working with high Jes and high performance is that we need to acknowledge daily the smallest things right not make them big because the bigger it is the more complicated it is it's like you're never ever going to feel Fulfilled right when we acknowledge the small things and we go well done for even just opening the door for that person I'm say I'm
talking super simple so it's just an actual being present acknowledging the thing exactly well done for yesterday you you sat through the content even though you didn't want to right that's acknowledging right you don't need a big acknowledgement to be like oh you made that big [ __ ] $100,000 deal you need the little Acknowled because that's what we need to be seen right this is what we never got when we were children right from you know right so we need to acknowledge the little things because those little things make the big things and that's
what makes us whole and complete and when we can do that on a consistent basis then the gap of feeling like I'm never going to be enough because that's where it's stemming from and need to go bigger I need to go bigger because I Then if I go bigger then I'll feel enough but if we start to acknowledge as smaller things those little things like build our self-esteem from the ground up and once we build it from the ground up we're no longer we're no longer creating from a a place of lack we're creating from
a place of abundance fun value I don't need to create this cuz I have to other because I don't want to feel this feeling anymore cuz that's where most highers create from it comes from a Place of I never want to feel like that again away from y I'm never going to do that you watch I'll [ __ ] prove you wrong right and you hear that drive yes yeah I'll [ __ ] show you like I've said it to myself so many times yeah someone asked me one time I remember they were asking us
about like is it okay to sort of be motivated by to try to prove something and and I'm like I think it's actually fantastic in the short Term um because nothing's more motivating than to avoid some sort of pain so we can attach to like well I'm going to create this because I never want to be broke I never want to experience it again and you see these people get tremendous results but it's not sustainable so at what point do you think we can start to cuz my advice to them was I was like it's
fantastic to get off the sting ground like get the plane off the ground it's very useful But you'll destroy your engines like your engines get explode one day and you'll be like why does my life suck unless we can switch and pivot to go I love that I get to do this for these reasons and this is the new creation and like I I I do a lot from that space now like what's the next thing I get to create and it's exciting versus like I I think it was an income threshold as well once
I sort of went past like maybe 5 600k in a year I was kind of like it's Not like the the money is still good but it's more but it's also not hitting the thing that you feel like you used to no it's well now it's more from a I am excited to go what else can we do like what's the next I was like [ __ ] if I've Done That What's Next what else and it's the excitement of going what's the new creation what's the new challenge what's the new thing I can do
it's a little scary to go let's see if I can [ __ ] pull this off so it's it's exciting but What what do you sort of think on that and like for the people that might watching this that know they're doing something to try and make their dad proud make their parents proud prove themselves or how can they start to I guess pivot from such an away from motivator it it all starts with first you have to awareness of like where you're creating from because most of us we get up and we just automatically
go into the thing of This is just what I do MH not many people will ask themselves what am I creating for for what is it status do I want money do I want to feel a certain thing have I been conditioned to do this right and we I always go go to my clients I'm like where are you creating from and what is the end goal like what do you think this is going to get you right and you're either creating from lack fear judgment scarcity of I don't want this to happen I don't
want to feel Like this um I've never felt enough so I'm going to just make it even more perfect and if I make it more perfect perfect means that people will accept me and love me right that's one of the biggest drivers and the other side of it is like or am I going to create from a place of value what are my internal values have I sat down and worked out what my values are what my vision is and is it authentic to me specifically me not if My if I do this then I'll
be accepted by my parents or my partner or the people out there right is it internal so we always have to ask where are we creating from and the next step is after you've got the awareness around that it's how am I going to show up or what's the identity I need to create in order to have what I desire tomorrow now this is the thing about identity work most people have an identity of like I'm someone like for me one of my identities I'm I don't identify as someone that doesn't drink so naturally when
we go out people say you want to drink I said no I don't drink that's part of my identity right now when you are trying to change something about yourself you have to create your identity which is a deeper form of a belief that's where you're coming from I'm coming from this place and then I create right versus when I create the million dollars then I will show up like this it's like no I Come from a million dollars I'm someone that creates wealth I'm someone that shows up in the space I walk I talk
like a millionaire like these are my traits the byproduct of being a certain person is the result you exactly so it's like I'm coming from that space so first we have to have the awareness then we have to ask ourselves what is the identity I need to create in order to have what I desire tomorrow identity being thoughts part habits yeah so if you identify As a painter then it's like I'm someone that paints daily or I do it weekly it's like this is just who I am this is just who I I do I'm
someone identify as someone that moves daily so I move my body and train consistently now right so someone that does not identify as someone that moves daily will be like I don't really like to train and I just don't like exercise so that's their identity and then they go and they have a diet and they get on a diet and then They wonder why they they keep yo-yoing so they get on the diet they have the food and then they like start to lose weight and oh I'm seeing some progress but I still haven't changed
that internal identity and then what happens is they go through life and then they yo-yo so they have four or five days or really good eating and then they [ __ ] up once and then what do they do ah I'll just start on Monday again the identity is [ __ ] so we need to work on that What's your internal identity but also the consistency of building those habit over long term cuz over over time it compounds mhm right so if we're going to really change the behavior we have to really be like okay
well how are all the ways I can set myself up to win accountability is key also cuz we can get so good at negotiating I recently just got an ice bath on my deck at home and whenever I'm it's easy to do an ice bath here in Bley It's you want to you want to get into it but when it's you know the morning still in the goo it's like 19° 20° that's the last [ __ ] thing I want to do in the morning and it's funny that it's like how good I can get
at negotiating and I can say little things to myself like um well just have to off cuz you've just done the last entire week like that's really good just treat yourself and it's this funny it's this balance the Paradox of self selflove actually isn't it to go Well I love myself so much to be like so I'm going to do what I feel like doing in the moment and I don't want to do that but well then actually I could argue well if you really love yourself you do what was hard because you really cared
about the results you want and it's just this continual fight of of that so I'm I'm all too familiar with uh like sometimes I can walking and Pac in the house for 20 minutes in the morning thinking of all the other things I let's Go to do this first just do this first just [ __ ] three minutes go again that [ __ ] all right right yeah and then you do it and then you sit and you're like I did it I did the thing yeah so it's it's absolutely non-negotiable for me because I
will that will [ __ ] haunt me like a demon for the rest of the day to be like if if try to do something else it's like yeah you didn't do that what and then so you just start the cycle oh you already didn't do that Why don't you just not do that today why not do that today then so I'm I'm like a slave to that just that those first three minutes if I can just do that the rest of the day will be somewhat easy because I'm not fighting myself as much it's
s it's such a funny thing with the ice bath because when when you get in the ice bath it's it it is one of those habits that once you get in it sharpens your your focus like that and when you sharpen your focus and you have a focus It's like you can't be anywhere else but present what you're actually seeking is that presence and that connection so when you get in like before you hopped in where's your thoughts scattered I'll do this I'll do this I'll do this I'll do this what you're doing is you're
getting in the ice bath and straight away it's getting boom laser then you start to focus it starts to slow your thoughts down cuz you're like you're just focusing on breathing getting Through you know I'm going through the three minutes I'm just here right then you start to it it almost starts to like reward you in a way where you actually are like I did the thing I didn't want to do yeah and when you do the thing you don't want to do on a consistent basis it's like that builds resilience that builds trust and
when you're starting to trust yourself cuz I know I say I'm going to do it and when it comes out of my mouth it's already done MH that Builds confidence and then that is the after effect of the ice bu you get out and then all a sudden your body starts to warm you up you release endorphins like you know you you start to feel good and you're like what's next you know yeah I want to talk about what what are the blind spots of high Achievers high performance um some of the biggest blind spots
I see is the lack of boundaries Interesting how does this show up because you can be so good at what you do and because you're so good at what you do and you get that adrenaline and that you know those dophins kicking in because of you know you're constantly being rewarded you can forget other parts so for example like a lot of high Achievers will get burnt out mhm they get burnt out they end up literally [ __ ] up their sleep cuz they're just trying to do so much They're just so in that like
the thing is when you're so good at what you do the hardest thing is pulling yourself away from it yeah right and when you're getting so many results and you're seeing things like you you have an idea you create it and you get it executed or you have good team it's really hard to stop when you're seeing so much momentum and when you're seeing that kind of momentum it's like it can become addictive and the Problem sometimes is like I said when I say boundaries it's like sometimes if I'm too involved with this there's no
connection with myself I start to sacrifice other parts of me boundaries starts at home starts myself right sometimes people get so it's almost like so much of the cool-aid that they just forget about everything else and I just I just do this because it makes me feel good then relationship suffer connection to family one last you Spoken to your your parents I want ah I haven't and don't have time so it's like The Blind Side of that is like how can I how can I make sure I'm making the time to do what's important as
well to do what what matters right me making sure that I'm taking my kid out like I don't have a child but you know what I'm saying I'm giving you an example right making sure I'm I'm spending quality time with him and I'm being present versus like I'm With you but I'm not really with you because I'm checking my phone every 5 seconds and I'm responding to the team and this and that like actually scheduling time to be present with family this is definitely me yeah yeah I've been very hard to switch off yeah yeah
like what do because I've also had this conversation with my partner yeah because when before I started dating her I didn't have a day off for about six years seven years and one of my mentors Said to me once he's like cuz I was hitting a plateau in business and I'm like everything I'm [ __ ] doing is not working he's like well go take two days off a week I'm like what I don't think you understood me I need to work harder he's like well you've been working your [ __ ] ass off that's
not working so why don't you do the opposite I'm like very counter and but all right took time off started making more money I'm like interesting okay and then I started to Enjoy it so before I met Sona my life was that I would work every day and I would work until 10 or 11:00 at night I I like night times more I don't us like to do anything for about 10 or a midday and but when I started dating her I got into this flow of actually enjoying one or two days off a week
so she's only sort of known me having this more balance um and lately I'm switching back more into a a season of like I want to do a lot more and so I only have one day Off a week now but even there's it's a Sunday with her and the other day I said to her I'm like you know what sometimes like what I genuinely want to do I just want to [ __ ] work like cuz I I get so much joy out of it I get joy out of doing things um so it's
not coming from a place of like I've got to I'm like I just really want to like I'm I'm I don't that's but that's that's that's some of the blind spots right because it's it's like we can do that and you're getting So much joy from it that's why and it's like it's like like I get to create it all the time now when you are someone that is creating all the time and and you have like I said you have a team you can get things done really fast right so then you like you
love momentum yeah right and then when you're seeing momentum it's like oh give me more M right and this is the thing it's like sometimes we need to slow down to speed up right it's like when I'm talking to a Lot of the high Achievers the high performance I'm like we need to get you meditating we need to get you sitting and just allowing some of your thought to pass through you I don't have time to meditate I'm like cool well let's meditate a little bit longer then yeah because of what's that saying so you
don't have time to meditate 10 minutes a day you need to meditate an hour day yeah exactly and the reason for that is like it's Like what your mind you think you can do when you actually are calmer and more centered you will get 10 times things like 10 times more done and this is the thing it's like people think if I if if you for example Morgan if you just like I'm just going to keep running I'm going to go for a run I'm going to keep going and I'll get further because I won't
rest mhm how long how long will you run for yeah it won't you will eventually conk out and you'll end up like passing Out burning out if you give yourself some rest drink some water get good food into you nutrients proper sleep like this is one of the biggest things that's overlooked also with high chis and high performance is sleep right they thrive on ah I'm just smashing it I'm only getting 4 hours 5 hours of sleep I'm like your adrenal your adrenaline glands are shot right your nervous system is shot like I know people
that are constantly Are like sitting I've had to get them off um different medications to to get them back into their body and calm the nervous system down it's like eventually it's going to you're going to it's almost erupt right and and unease in the in the system on a consistent basis turns into disease which is turning into disease right what are some things we can do to sort of because this is I think this would relate a lot always being busy Doing things um and for my own sake like what I've found is how
long can I go before I really sort of need need and want that break um and I used to do it every single week and I didn't really like it and but I I'll operate in Seasons so I might be so right now I'm definitely in a season of chill now we have an event this week but I go back to the to a go co for a few weeks but now I'm going to Europe and I'm I'm a season of chill but I just came off a season of Obscenity for about three months and
what I've noticed is I can really push seasons for about 2 to three months yeah and so for the people listening this watching this that can resonate with yeah I I struggle to sort of switch off or what are some things cuz I I get that actually like slowing down the speed up we've we've been focusing a lot on my health lately and sleep is a big thing like I literally I wake up when I'm finished sleeping I don't use an alarm We're doing everything we used do like all my DNA tests and everything the
other day 120 page document came back oh crazy have you ever had that done DNA crazy I I'll link you with my my guy but so he sent me stuff yesterday he's like look at this he's like your dopamine receptors are a low he's like this is probably why you jump out of airplanes cuz I Skydive for fun right so like my days off are skydiving right it's like I just have to keep this high peak so what What are some things that we can do I guess to be more in our bodies and be
more calmer without it sort of feeling like it's going to conflict with this high performance attitude I mean I think I think if it's all about sustainability so it's like instead of like like seeing this is a race like look at it like this is a marathon how do I want to run this right and in order to run a proper marathon it's like you have to prepare You have to make sure that your body's like prepared for this journey and it's like ask yourself what's the game that I'm going to play for myself so
that I can make sure that I get the most out of this whole journey right because ultimately when you think about it as you go along the entrepreneur Journey like you know you're you're 32 now right 31 31 sorry yeah give me that year you're 31 right now and you you think about it it's like from this age to this Age like you're going to have more energy you know um the next 5 years who knows it might your metabolism is going to start to slow down bro I'll have more you say that we'll see
I just choose it you're I'm not opting into your beliefs of your age you're your your my age um your metabolism starts to slow down you start to see your recovery rate changes um your sleep patterns will even change and then if you have kids or you know that's also going to change it's like How's your focus in that so I always like to like make sure that my clients have a really good morning your night routines um I make sure that they're holistic give us some examples what's so good cuz I I Trash Talk
morning routines quite a bit yeah uh cuz I think they've just become stupid like I was I was doing morning routines back when we first met yeah and it consists of it changed the game for me actually I I Remember I used to wake up on my phone immediately what's up dream Nation have you ever wondered how far ahead your life would have already been if you hadn't got access to this type of content at a younger age look this is why I need your help I'm trying to build the number one personal development platform
out there to teach you guys the tips tricks and attitude of what it takes to live your dream life and to bring the type of education that We all wish we had in school this show only Grows by word of mouth and new subscribers so it would mean the world to me if you could smash that subscribe button right now leave us a five-star written review or drop a comment below and share this episode with a friend I would be forever grateful all right now let's get back into this episode replying to messages that was
my morning routine yeah and then once I just simply started putting my pH on airplane mode 10 minutes 15 minutes of mindfulness in the morning wrote gratitudes and read a vision it's like my goals I wrote goals 20 minutes in the morning game changed for me and then went just did some sort of movement went for a run I went to the gym and then came back on my phone changed the [ __ ] game for me but now it's like you get on social media if you're not doing cold therapy red red light therapy
talk therapy laughing therapy Meditating for 6 hours fasting all day doing 600 push-ups like you're doing it wrong you know what I mean like if you're not wake up 2:37 in the morning it's it's I know I wake up at 2:30 morning I it's just ridiculous [ __ ] someone said to me the other day um my my mate he was talking to his camera guy and his camera guy goes just message Morgan it was like 6:30 in the morning 7 o'clock in the morning goes just message Morgan ask him that question now and Dan's
like he's not going to be awake what do you mean he's not going to be awake doesn't he wake up at 5:00 he's like he's probably one of the only successful I know that just wakes up whenever the [ __ ] he feels like actually like I wake up at 7:30 this morning yeah I'm the same actually like I when I'm done I get up I think bro there's been so much noise out there with morning routines and it's it's gotten pushed out of proportion and I think even when I Work with any of my
clients the first thing I'm saying is like let's create a bespoke morning routine for you that works for you not that works for him or her or this entrepreneur or like let's test things we have to test right some people are not morning people some people work better actually at night some people need to have that morning of slow mornings and you know especially if you're an entrepreneur it's like yeah you need to check in and be like how do I function am I better in the morning or I'm better at night for me personally
I'm better in the morning my creativity is way better in the morning by afternoon like I can't do any creative work I do pretty much coachings or meetings like that in the afternoons so I know my myself personally and I think we all have to like kind of test different things of like when are you the most creative um how much sleep do you need um I think that's a big thing There's a there's a thing called a it's a sleep calculator where you can just Google it where we have different cycles of sleep and
and you should try and get those certain amount of cycles of sleep because if you wake up in between those Cycles what happens is you wake up a bit way more groggy and tired how does it work that out what do you put in um so you just is if you just go to Google and say sleep calculator there'd be so many that comes up but it will ask you what Time do you want to go to bed and what time do you want to wake up and then it will tell you for you to
get a certain amount of sleep cycles like five six seven sleep cycles then it will tell you you should be going to bed at this time and then getting up at that time and then you're in that sleep cycle and this is what a lot of people don't know about yeah with the sleep cycle is like oh I'm just going to get 8 hours and it's like actually not really cuz they're 90 Minutes aren't they sleep cycle yeah I think so I've got to double check but I think so yeah yeah so if so to
get eight hours you doing 90 minutes 3 hours 6 hours it's like you'd be waking up in the middle of a cycle eight hours yes so I think it's like mine is like 7even and a half perfect seven and a half and then I I feel great yeah so I think you know with anyone with routines and and structure like that it's like it is good to have routines but a routine that Works for you specifically yeah right and that could be even just a a 20 minute it could be like first thing in the
morning I'm going to listen to a certain kind of music or a meditation or something that allows me to like slowly wake out wake myself out out of um a certain sleep state right and then uh for me personally I like to drink a big glass of water with um actually probably just under a liter with lemon and Marine Collagen mhm and cultic sea salt so I do that first thing and that's for me to stay hydrated I think as we wake up we need to hydrate straight away because our brains are like craving you
know to be hydrated um and then I used to be exactly like go and do this go and exercise you know and and I was like straight away yeah so in my head I was like what works for me personally is Like I don't do it every single morning where I'm like smash this out smash this out I'm like okay I'm going to need at least half an hour to 40 minutes I always meditate and I do tapping personally um I feel like when I meditate first thing for me personally what it does is it
helps me just shake out any thoughts feelings or any emotions and then once I've done that I'm already like clearing probably 2 3 hours of Overthinking of stuff because how long do you meditate for 20 minutes okay Max not more 20 minutes max done and then I do a tapping and Tapping For Me EFT tapping um I'm aware of it what does it do to you so tapping what it does is it it Taps on different meridians so you tap on the the end point of your of your hand then it's a top of your
head and then just above your eyebrow the side of your like on your temple then just underneath your eye underneath your nose What on your chin under on your color and then uh underneath your armpit and what it's doing it's hitting meridian lines which is like you know Chinese meridians like where the energy channels yeah as you repeating different mantras and hitting these points it's almost like anchoring you know like in NRP it's very similar to anchoring so I thought this guy called bradi Yates he's like the Godfather of like tapping he's got free videos
check him out he's on YouTube um and whatever I I'm feeling like I can find videos on it he's been doing it for like over 15 years um and it always gets me into a state of uh connectedness and groundedness you asking before like how do you get grounded that grounds me straight away and I find that it also grounds like um it it almost gets me excited like I'm grounding in my body I'm repeating it I'm tapping it and and even after I feel like I'm already ready like now I'm Starting right yeah cool
so it's like you're yeah because it would be an anchor like if CU that's sort of how I feel like I have my way of doing things in the morning and as soon as I do my like I'll brush my teeth my my final thing I I'll brush my teeth and take eot like an energy shot and I'm [ __ ] ready anything anything in front of me I'll destroy right but I'll us just go straight to the gym and but I'm just like it's that's the final thing for me To go what about nighttime
routines that's one thing I have not mastered I'm very flaky on that one not flaky I'm just very um I feel like sometimes committed it can be really hard uh well not really I mean it depends on the person like you're a nighttime person right yeah so I'm very on yeah so sometimes that can be even more hard for you to to create a nighttime routine especially when you're like I'm even more creative right now yeah I'm getting More [ __ ] done yeah um but for me like I said like I like to prioritize
my sleep because I know that I am super creative in the mornings and if I'm not prioritizing my sleep then I know my morning's [ __ ] right so nighttime routine we want to keep things at a consistent again like switching off Bright Lights um not looking at screens like at least the last hour um teas mhm I'm going to I'll give you I'll give you a link to give some teas um I I know there's chaml but this's this other tea that I'm drinking I forgot the name of it it looks like bark off
a tree like it just looks like you're like what am I drinking but apparently it's really good for sleep and relaxation okay um so I mix that with chamomile and then um lavender lavender oil so lavender oil put it in a like a little diffuser and you want to start dimming Lights by about I mean Ideally like back in the day like we had light until like Sunset right so our bodies naturally are slowing down getting ready to rest going to sleep if we are working or we have Bright Lights like we're not getting that
that message so around if you want to be in bed by 11 start getting ready by about 9: start slowing it Down Right Start um I wouldn't eat as well for the last 3 hours that also has been a big game Changer for me like making sure that like I've got a good 3 hours where I'm not E Track sleep do you have AA or anything I do but I don't wear it during the day I um I had one I just got a new one I lost it but what I was cuz I was
becoming really religious on my sleep and trying to get the most deep sleep and real I could and I was chatting with Ty Lopez and he said to me that he's like one of the best things for deep sleep he tries to get 150 minutes deep Sleep yeah and he's like if you can get that like [ __ ] let me know um but one thing he's big on his steps he's like our genetic body types are for females 12,000 steps a day yeah for males 15,000 steps a day that's what we're actually our bone
structure is built for that and um the days I'm getting over 12,000 I'm getting very good sleep and you can feel as well CU you get to the end of your day and you actually feel exhausted and that's kind of my goal I want to get to The end where I'm actually go ah can't wait the rest and so steps a big one for me eating earlier but a sauna a nighttime saas saas are great yeah overheats your body and then yeah so even saas or even if you don't have a sauna really hot shower
yeah before bed because you want to heat your body up and get your system like quite hot and then you want to make sure that the room's really cool they say 21° um to keep your room quite cool Because then once your body Heats up then it calms down and then it almost goes into like this hibernative state of like going into like yeah you know a little mini hibernation and then that's when you get the deepest sleep I my deep sleep's really good I'm getting about hour and a half to 2 hours it's great
my remm I'm working on now so mym I'm getting about an hour to 50 minutes andm is when rapid eye movement is when you're dreaming and that comes later on In the day yeah uh so later on in and in the night so it's more so like the 5 6 a.m. 7:00 a.m. um so I know for a fact like because of my ordering that once I I go to sleep around 10:30 or 11: I know I'm going to get a great sleep I know if I'm later than that I know I'm I'm going to
be pushing I still get good sleep but I know that I'm I'm going outside of my my my barrier um I want I want to switch back to pattern in high performance and stuff Yeah um one of the big thing you sort of work with people on is helping them discover where they might be self-sabotaging um we do a lot of work in that space as well and I find it always just so fascinating the human brain why we would destroy the things that we actually say we want so can we first start the people
you work with what are some what are some symptoms what are some things that Happen that uh self-sabotaging patn self-sabotaging actions results that might be playing out in people's Liv lives that they might not even be aware of you've heard of the upper limit yes right uh let me give you an example that uh everyone will know remember uh Will Smith punched Chris Rock in the face yeah right he hit an uper limit and people would be like well why how did Will Smith hit an upper limit Will Smith's objective was to become the biggest
movie St in the world right I followed Will Smith like religiously since Freshman like massive fan like and one of his things that drove him was to become the best in the world biggest movie star you know and he was on his way and um what most people don't know if you haven't read his book he he grew up in a in an abusive household you know his father was abusive his mother used to His father used to beat his mother and he didn't feel strong in himself like he was he was [ __ ]
scared of his dad which is natural when you're a kid and you see your dad beat your mom like it's like and you can't do anything you'd feel helpless mhm um and the way he masked that was with humor I just joke around and hey you know and that's the byproduct of that trauma of like I'll just make everybody laugh and that will Fix everything you know and he became really [ __ ] good at it right and relatable and and he's you know I feel like he's he's a sensitive man and and I feel
like when I say he hit the upper limit the day of the Oscars it was the Oscars right something like that yeah it was the day of the OS I think it's the Oscars yeah um he was going to get an award for King Richard the movie was it King Richard I yeah I Think so I may be butchering this but you know he was getting award for the movie he just it was about the Serena Williams Sister yeah right and he was meant to get the award well he was nominated but for sure I
reckon he knew that he was going to win the award yeah right for best best actor and the night that he's going to get the award that he's been striving for his whole life he punches Chris Rock in the Face and everybody remembers him for doing that that the famous slap and not the award and what happened everything went crashing down so do you see he hit he went the upper limit he was he was about to go to the next part the other side of that upper limit was he's free he's I'm the biggest
movie star in the world I made it I did the thing that I want to do I don't think he could have handled it and that's where he's like the fear Kicks in and and this is where he gets into the space of like sabotage and and this is like it's so crazy because it's it's so like you can't put your finger on these things you know what I mean it's not you can't look inside someone's brain and say that's what happened but it's almost like they manifest shitty things that happen their life like like
that or well you think about sub why do we sabotage we sabotage because it's Almost like we don't know what's on the other side of that so is that what it is so it's just the fear of like what if this well if this does happen and I expand into this on the other side it's scary so I just going to destroy it so I might not be able to handle it so I'm going to destroy it before it destroys me and you know this happens with money too most people like will create a shitload
of money they people the lottery what do they do They have idty that they they don't know how to deal with money and and it's too much energy and it's too much attention so what do they do they either lose it or they get scammed or they give it up like I've had clients that I had a client that made multi multi-millions in crypto and he came from a poor background and what did he do he sabotaged it he got scammed like over $6 million he got taken for like different business Things and and and
eventually he got to the point where he actually said to me a I didn't want the money cuz I had so many people coming at me and I just wanted to get rid of it so how how can we expand into that cuz that that's probably the easiest way to measure this for money especially as we're growing because every single time I can even feel my body right every single time we make more money or we we hit a new um Milestone or a new record I can feel Not really the discomfort in my body
because I'm very aware of it now but it's I can feel it's not what it used to feel like I'm like and I what I personally do is I don't make any decisions about money for a couple months I'm like I'm just not it's yeah it's all cool I can just see it in the bank and feel and that's okay but I'm not making money decisions yeah because I might make them out of a a reaction and I'm going to let it sort of just Simmer this com be more comfortable holding these I I think
that's a good idea bro CU you think when we think about money money brings up emotion yeah and it's so connected to emotions and emotions is out of control all right people the reason why people don't like emotions is because it's like imagine if I sprinkled a whole bunch of dirt in this glass and I shook it around you know that's you and your emotions you know and most people avoid their Emotions is because they can't control it so when we allow our emotions and when we're see what you just said now you're like I
feel it I notice it and just let it simmer don't act then I have Clarity yeah right and that's Clarity before I make the decision right and I think most people with when they're sabotaging it's like it's an unconscious thing that they're doing so the more aware awareness you have around it then you can be like what happens when I feel This what am I noticing in my body right because most people don't want to feel that thing so especially with money when it comes to um big decisions or like I want to invest in
this thing but I'm scared or even like crypto for example right now You' you've got a bunch of people in the bull run that are like foming in and and like trying to get there you know but then they [ __ ] themselves the moment the market goes down and it's like what comes with that Is the emotion oh [ __ ] my money's going down oh my God I should take it out and it's like and then it goes back up and then they [ __ ] themselves and they're like damn I missed out
on that opportunity you know and and if anyone to be a good Trader or or to have to be good with money it's like I need to build a relationship with it I need to build a healthier relationship with it and how do you understand your relationship with money you see exactly How your parents showed up with money you know my parents came from South Africa came from K toown they left South Africa because of the apartheid and my parents uh considered Cape colored Cape what Cape colored right that's the name that the white man
gave people that were mixed Cape color okay yeah so where Cape CET is is one of the most advanced mix races in the world my parents grew up in a place like Cape Town where they couldn't go to certain beaches weren't allowed to drink from certain C Taps weren't allowed in certain entrances of places like they had colored entrance white entrance and then black entrance right so imagine growing up and it's like well so colored is what you're considered as yes which is like black and then white yeah so blacks would get treated worse than
the than the white uh worse than the colored but better than Like so blacks were treated the worst colorss yeah second and and then whites were like could do whatever yeah right and a pure example bro like my my father where he grew up his whole neighborhood was told they had to leave and it was considered a white area they got moved out my dad would get paid five 10 times less than someone that was white because of his skin color so imagine you growing up with that so money is a very an Emotional thing
so my parents learned to save and stack and but even though they moved us to Australia they still had a story around money they still had a story around like you got to make sure you save my dad is always going to CO's or Safeway you know you know and wwor and oh I got this one special because of it's so ingrained of we've got to make sure we save mhm right and even after like my parents owning like five or six houses that was still Complaining about money and when I realized I was like
holy [ __ ] you guys have six houses you guys are still complaining about money this is not going to end unless we rebuild our relationship with money and it started with me yeah I had to rebuild the relationship with money how do I see money how much am I charging now how do I want to create wealth right and I had to change that mindset around that and it's a consistent it's still a Consistent thing bro yeah it's always muscle I'm still tweaking my money story even though I'm charging 10 times what I was
when I first started coaching and working with multi-millionaires or this or that it's like I'm still looking at it as how can I expand my relationship and my connection to it as as an energy versus like this is going to change how people see me or how I feel or this and that um before we started recording you said that you want to dive in to see What drives me yes let's do it what do you think drives me yeah so I'm curious because you said you when you were 25 you were like I want
to um be interviewed by the billionaire uhhuh on the stage right yeah and then you also said um I want to be the top owner I want to be the top owner so tell me why you're like I need to be that um I think what I know now is okay so I'll give you two answers back then what I wanted was recognition yeah yeah and and That was the biggest driver I'm like I want the recognition because I'm working hard and I want this it was like the Pinnacle of what and let me ask
you this then what what was the recognition you were you were seeking and and where did you not get that um so cuz I've been thinking about this in the last couple years actually yeah so I can I I kind of think I know now back in school I was always sort of like I was never at like the bottom in school but I was never like the best footy player in school I was kind of in the Middle where like me and all our friends like we were pretty cool but how we made up
for it was uh we were all good Fighters so we were not like losers we were not we weren't really the coolest but we were kind of like fed m and as so it kind of came from that I think and I still think to some degree it kind of what drives me a little bit with Everything to sort of want to create something that uh wasn't really there like something that was be known be uh not popular but create something that where where I'm known for something you know what I mean but when you
think about like let's let's dive a little bit further so it's like like I haven't asked I haven't asked you this like it's a good time to ask it's like what's your relationship like with your father or your mother how Were how were your needs met growing up were you acknowledged when you did something good yeah not really yeah I was going to say like and that's straight away I knew already knew that it's it's a common pattern So when you say not really like what like tell me first your relationship with your father mhm
it's uh it's it's normal but like like my whole family is is bizar what's normal like there's no there's nothing there's never been anything bad towards Dad but there was never like it's it's hard cuz I can look back on it 10 years ago where I thought it meant but now looking back on me like reflection of a more intelligent person it's Dad did the dad stuff he worked every day he'd come home he' eat dinner read newspaper watch the news go to bed MH that was that but at the same time I played soccer
growing up they came to every soccer game you know it was they really did everything they could for us um but it was never Really like a if I never had I'm like I want to do this all my ambitions were kind of shut down or if I'm like when we play soccer I'm like um I want to I want to get the good boo cuz I want to be really really good and it was sort of like well we're not really you know like it's just sort like it's just a fun thing it's just
a hobby yeah so it's like the Ambitions were not sort of yeah fostered so even in even with what I hear now right so you think about like I Want to be the best I want to be really good mhm and there was no support around that yeah right so it was almost like you'll just get the mediocre boots bro yeah right yeah yeah and and this is where part of the drive and desire starts to spark no I want the best why how come I can't have the best and because we never had a
growing up like so Mom and Dad always just settled for normal average you know they just did thing they didn't push hard and so a big Drive for me was to not have what they had for sure um other things so there's another pattern here where your dad just comes home he works his ass off mhm you've seen this from the GetGo mhm this is what you should do if you want to get anywhere work your ass off done go to bed right but for sure you you're like I've seen this my whole life but
it's like there's got to be more than this mhm right yeah um the other thing uh you Said your relationship with your mom tell me um mom's also quite similar like Mom was always like loving supportive in the way that she knew how to cuz she never got [ __ ] grown up so she was she really tried to do her best there um but I always sort of joke that if I went to Mom with like a problem it' be like well you want punch in the belly and I'm like why the [ __
] would I want that she like oh then you got something else to complain about so it's always Just sort of like that tough love approach yeah so even in hearing that is that so that that's what your mother would say to you right yeah yeah and if that's an a regular occurrence it's like sometimes our parents don't know how to be with us emotionally yeah right you're seeking something more and she it's almost like that's almost kind of dismissive yeah right it's like I'm not actually going to see what you're really trying to say
it's like I'm just going To say this and then we'll just [ __ ] sweep it under the carpet yeah for me I'm like okay well if you're constantly getting things swept under the carpet you're not being seen mhm you're not being heard you're not being understood so then it becomes this deep desire for you to really actually I want to be [ __ ] seen I want people to actually see me for what I am and and feel me and and like create that and like and it's like it's there's no surprise that You've
created this even your brand Dream Out Loud you're speaking on stages that you created bro right it's like who controls that you do yeah right so it's like there's no wonder it's like you've been presented things to your parents of like I want to be the best I want to it's almost like I want to grow and it's like they haven't seen it and you're like I'm going to have to [ __ ] do this myself yeah right I'm going to have to harness this myself and that's where The dve that's the blessing cursing the
curse of what you went through so I guess so like let's say for example because I I I reckon the fear that most people would have would go well if that's what's that makes me who I am so what if I was to become aware of that and change that am I going to lose my drive yeah so very common question which is like high high perform does not want to lose their drive very common question the best thing I get when I get a client You know come through me they're like okay I want
I want to create this and I want to be fulfilled but I I want to stay motivated and I'm just like it's not going to change you but it's just about going where are we creating from and how do we create from a more sustainable place right because eventually it's going to burn out if you don't have the boundaries and you don't set yourself up to play your game you're going to be playing still the same game That is from your subconscious yeah that You' brought through being a child of got getting your needs met
which you are getting your needs met but it's getting to a point where it's like is this actually fulfilling me now right and I think with any entrepreneur that's playing at that level it's like I think it's about recreating your values it's going back into your vision and going what actually matters and this is where I would question to be like is This still in alignment with your vision any way you want to create right and I get you to ask yourself that question it's like we can still be motivated we can still make lots
of money and make big changes and and create massive things but let's do it in a way that aligns more so with that internal inspiration like I said before it's like well like I said before it's like going back into what actually drives you what is your why and then let me drill Down 10 times more to figure out if that's exactly your why or if you're still coming from a place of lack I love it this has been fun um where can find you on social media am steam.com or find me on Instagram which
is am steam if you go back to your 18-year-old self and give him 30 seconds of advice what would it be take more risks and fail fast the faster you fail the faster you learn the more I grow
