With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya | The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

[Music] Well, what the [ __ ] [ __ ] And we Wait a minute. Let's Let's Let's talk about Let's talk about the new air conditioning. Wait, there's new air conditioning at your home. Oh. Oh, [Laughter] no. Is it [ __ ] Is it Is it cold? Are you proud to serve it? Well, they had to airlift an air conditioner on top of your building. It was Harrowing. But the man who did it, I think he is a star. You know how sometimes you see like Barbara Stryzen on stage, she gets a standing ovation every

night. Yeah. This man needs that kind of agilation. He deserves it. Would you be willing to throw neck? Yes. Throw neck for AC. Throw neck for AC. Actually, I train my neck for AC. For the good AC, baby on me. 5 unit. I'm at the end. He had to go through the wires on a in somebody else's driveway. It was Like it was basically like Fast and the Furious except not a lot of movement. Right. So, when most [ __ ] in West Hollywood are getting units installed on the head, you're getting units installed on

top of the building. Craing. When I got brand new air conditioning, brand new central air conditioning, it was $9,000. 15. Honey, they don't tell you about that. 15. Well, yeah, they did tell me about They do tell you and then they Make sure you're okay with it and then they install it. But still, but I I think on my building they have roof access through the stairs. They didn't do a crane or anything. They just carried it. They carried a five ton unit. The blower the the blow the blower. The whole system. Yeah, they carried

it. A five ton. Oh, it must be a different kind of unit then. I don't know. Wasn't five ton. It's one individual unit for my Oh, like a little Wall. Like a little hangs out the window. No, a central air unit. Oh, but they didn't you know I don't. It's crazy. They had to drop it with the the helicopter jaws of life. It was [ __ ] it was nerve-wracking. But let me tell you about this place. So the the I am now fairly certain 98% sure that in a previous life I was the only

serial killer because I am paying for it in this life. This house is unclean. I saw your story last night. What's going on? The only functioning bathroom now is become non-functional. There's a leak. Mhm. A fierce one, too. Like, I don't know how she materialized. I feel like she went through a wormhole because the the floorboards are buckling. You're lying. I'm not lying. I'm like he he's like, "Hey, I want to show you something." I was like, "Something good." He's like, "No." And he showed it to me and I was like, "I was just in

there 3 hours ago. I didn't notice that. It's just fierce. It's fierce. It's fierce. You'll never buy a home again. This [ __ ] will be renting till the day she dies. Till the day I die. And let me ask you something. As a homeowner, very successful homeowner. Do you think so? I'm at the point now like in terms of like fixing the place and renovating it where I have to make design choices. Sure. The only exciting part of this process, right? Right. The only exciting part, the only autumn sunrise, The only fulfilling part, the

only good part of it right now. But I'm I'm faced with a with a it's like do I do I make bold decisions that only I will love and that a future occupant perhaps will not love and that I'll have to change in order to sell the house. What do you what do I do? Can I say that the musical Rent is about the trials and tribulations of trying to pay rent, but the only thing worse than that is being able to pay a mortgage for a home that's Decomposing in front of you. Mama, she

said it's like hiring a hooker that's dead. You didn't realize that she had no pulse and you're stuck with her the whole night. Damn, it sucks. I mean, you got to [ __ ] the dead body, but it's going to be gross. It's No, it it sucks. I mean, can I say having a landlord can suck, too, because sometimes [ __ ] breaks and they barely care. Yes. So, that also sucks. That also sucks. I've I've certainly been in that position. I've rented most of my life. I have to say it is a much less

stressful situation because you can also the only thing at stake is your security posit your security deposit and nobody gets that back. So just you should really make peace with the fact that you're never going to get the um I think Todd Oldm was like you know what do you want to that place cuz you're never going to get the deposit Back. Amy Sedaris called it a creativity fee. Yeah. Yeah. That's what Yeah. Say goodbye to it. Exactly. [ __ ] on the walls. [ __ ] on the walls and hang some pong pongs. [

__ ] all over these walls. Ray. Uh so I got two black toilets coming now. I need a third. How many bathrooms do you have? Four. You only have one functional bathroom right now. Now it's zero. Yeah. You want to [ __ ] in my place? Got to go outside, find another Toilet, dig a hole. Damn. Go to the Wendy's, ask for the code. I'm sorry. Yeah, it sucks. It's um you know, it's like a It's a lemon. It's a lemon. You're driving a lemon. You're living a lemon. You don't want to drive a lemon.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to drive a lemon because it's such danger, right? You know, like you're speeding down the highway at 95 miles an hour, then the car just explodes. Yeah. Can I ask what Are we going to do in Santa Barbara tonight? I don't know. Katie and I are going to Santa Barbara that nobody will get. Have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm? No, I've never been to Santa Barbara. That's it. That's all I got. That's material. Well, we're going to Santa Barbara to speak to the children about their futures. Like, yeah.

Should we do like a what not to do? I think I've already done that. a gonaria presentation like no I I found the Questions in the moderator like I went through the sheet and I was like this is going to be fun because the questions by that the moderator is going to like use are really good. There's usually at these college events there's a non-binary person who gets it who like asks funny questions and yeah the the Q&A is only 15 minutes but the the moderated Q&A or the moderated discussion is very well composed. So

I'm looking forward to it. It's just a long Drive. What are we going to do in the car? I'm going to have to finger myself. No, I'm going to let AI write it. Ran through chat GPT. Oh my god. Did you see Wait, did you see the secret? Okay. Do you know Linda McMahon? No. She used to be uh I believe a manager for wrestling WWF Linda McMahon. Oh, what? So, she's now the Secretary of Education of the United States, which you might not know. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait, wait, wait. So, it

went from Tracy DeVos to promoter Linda McMahon from WWF videos of like people hitting each other with chairs and stuff. You can't think of I mean what a better what better candidate could you think of this? We Yeah, we we long for the days of Betsy De Boss. Yeah. We miss how on the ball she was. My god. Because she watched, you know, a show about a teacher once. So now we got Linda McMahon who I guess whenever she Needs to solve a problem is going to hit someone with a chair. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. She's going to jump off the ramp. She's going to climb to the top of something, jump off. So, I brought an audio for you because this is Linda McMahon who is now our Secretary of Education, United States, and she is on the world stage discussing the involvement of AI, artificial intelligence, right? And she gets on the microphone and she talks about it and I Swear to God, I swear to God in front of the world, this is what she says. First graders or even preks have A1 teaching, you know, every year starting,

you know, that far down in the grades. Now, okay, let's do see A1 and how and how can that be helpful? How can it be helpful in one-on-one instruction? First graders are even calling it A1. She doesn't even know that it's AI. Swear to God. Swear to God. A1 steak sauce. Every year starting, you know, Secretary of Education A1 steak sauce. Okay, let's do see A1. And how and how can that be? She's she wants steak sauce. She's saying maybe we should, you know, embrace I think she's trying to say kind of embrace AI and

let it do some of our prek teaching. We should also spray some chat DDT on some people like what the that's for real. The Secretary of Education of the United States can't read can't doesn't even bother to brief themselves on what AI Is. Not only what it stands for, but what is the difference between I and one? I'm I mean I can't tell. We live in the worst timeline possible and sometimes things like that happen and I'm like maybe you and I are geniuses. Oh yeah, maybe the dark ages were on to something. Turn the

lights off. Turn the wigs around, Dena. Maybe those that 1200. Yeah, maybe. Do you know Do you know how bad I wish that aliens would Show up and like signs they would pick me up with the wrist with the little poison right in the face? Just kill me. Yeah, rip my face off. Where's that chimp? Get that chimp to just rip my [ __ ] face off. And you know, I always wanted to go to Santa Barbara. You did? But I don't think we're going to have the experience I wanted cuz I wanted gorgeous beaches.

Oh, you want Big Little Lies? I wanted to go sit on a porch and have a like a a wine gem. Yes. You wanted to sprinkle some dried flowers. 100%. I wanted to use kind of like like spices and kind of wear an afghan and write a book and instead we're going to the college. Oh [ __ ] Um, I want to share something, too, but maybe I should just shut the [ __ ] up about Megan Markle. No, let's go for it. Okay. Okay. So, me I'm obsessed with Megan Markle. Um, and you know,

ironically, of course, um, it's just so diabolical. These email addresses that Sort of like names again that you would never guess that I will give them at some point in their lives when they're older, but before I go to bed, almost every night, I email them. Wow. I email because it doesn't have to be a heavy lift and you email them like here's your report card from today. Oh my gosh, was it the funniest thing this morning or here's a picture of you two having breakfast or here's you playing with the the things that you're

not going to Frame the things that you're not going to put pen to paper in a in a journal but they will end up one at one point in their life maybe when they're 16 or when they're 18 that I say here's an email that I've been keeping for you. I have full body chills right now for your whole life. Well, okay. Can I say I think that what she's doing is kind of sweet, but full body chills. What happens if you [ __ ] you explode? Full body chills. I have full body chills. I

Have full body. It's not. So my problem with Megan Markle is it's not her. It's this culture around her that allows her to be front and center. That host should be sent to prison. I have chills. Full body chills. I have chills from um emails that you're sending your future children. Your children in the future. The other one was when she was talking about the magic of sprinkling dried flowers over everything. Sometimes you just need a little magic in your Life. And the these [ __ ] want to be Martha Stewart so bad, mama. They

want to so bad. And they will never. I was watching this. They will never. I was watching this Martha Stewart clip the other day and she took she served chilled vodka. Okay. And she took an emptied out milk crate like not wooden paper milk crate, right? old style. Okay. And then she put a bottle of vodka in there and filled it to the top with water and put in flowers. So then when She was serving it, she's serving a bottle of vodka frozen in a block of ice with dried with flowers in it. Wow. I

have full body chills. That's a [ __ ] But I think that's a [ __ ] way to serve vodka. And frankly, Martha is doing it in the way that the girls that the the Marlles can't. It's not Marl Stewart. No. No. and I I suffered through a couple of episodes um of her Netflix show. The one the episode with Mindy Kaling is So it's so challenging to watch. Um and they basically they're they're creating like a a princess tea party and there are no children in the episode at all. So it's these two grown

women in this like ridiculously ornate um you know set. And of course this is all happening in her home which is not her home, right? It it's just so wild. It's like it's just so extravagant. It's so useless. It's so like uh frivolous, but it's Yeah, it made me appreciate Martha Stewart so much. Martha is an expert. She is. And she makes things accessible. And I guess what I like about her is she's saying like, I am fancy and I'm going show you how to make something fancy for you. Even if you don't have the

money to pay for it, you can do it yourself. Yeah. I guess I have to ask also I love her. She's [ __ ] funny. What is what is Megan Markle giving us? So, it's what are we receiving? We're receiving a a a A person who is editing and uh directing themselves so fiercely that they're like I I wish I could tell her just be a princess. Be unrelatable. Be extravagant. Be like untouchable because essentially that's the life you're living. This extremely wealthy, privileged life, princess, right? you know, Duchess of Sussex, whatever. And but she's

trying so hard to be like a normal person, right? And this is the way that I talk. And I just found that So interesting. And I just wanted to connect to something. You know, it's giving it's giving Reiki. It's giving it's very without any of the mystery without any of the mystery because it's all like just it's all very real stuff. I you know, I take some dried flower petals and I sprinkle them over everything just to add a little magic. It's giving past life. It's giving nude jerkoff sess. It's giving New Jerk off in

the woods. You're giving her too much Credit. It's giving too much. It's giving but also not anything at the same time is wild. Well, don't you think Paris kind of did that well, which is like her kind of cooking kind of pretending to cook with celebrity people? Yeah. In one set. Plenty of people have done that. I think even Selena Gomez did that, but they never positioned themselves as experts or like taste makers really. They were like, I'm I'm famous. I have some famous friends Who really know how to cook. Here they come. Let's do

it. Sure. But it was like, oh my god, it was so wild. It's when there's a scene where Mindy Kaling asks Megan what she's wearing and the way that she describes her wardrobe. I I almost like took a gun almost went to Burbank to buy a gun and put it in my mouth. Damn. It was really wild. It's really wild. It's It's Also, she and her husband Harry. Mama, they the one thing I I like about them, Griff. They got so much money from Spotify and Netflix and are just like vibing. Vibing. That's what I

hate. Whenever I get money from people, I always have to do something. Yeah. How do we stop that? Break the cycle of abuse. How do we stop that? I don't know. I think we got to move to Monteceto and start wearing linens and beige. Beige linens. It's awful. Sprinkling flowers. Today's my day off because I'm not in drag. This is not a Day off. Tell the powers that be. Tell her to the powers of be. Tell her to the powers that be. Oh, the power is [ __ ] up. Have you tried sprinkling dried flowers?

I girl, I slammed a Celsius today, got on the treadmill, opened up a Zoom meeting, and it turned on I said, "What?" See, that's what that's the kind of that's the kind of activity that they're getting paid for but not doing. No. And I opened up the Zoom. I said, I want to Know about the dicks who did this and the [ __ ] responsible. Like, I was like, you know, I want to kick somebody. What about Phoebe Waller Bridge? like 20 million. Who is that? Who is that? Phoebe Waller Bridge. Pick a name. She

created Flea Bag. Oh my god. Killing Eve. Yeah, she's so pretty. Yeah, I know who that is. Yeah, lovely gal. Flea Bag. Incredible. Killing Eve. Incredible. Got like Ryan Murphy. So Ryan Murphy, as you know, like received an $800 billion dollar deal from Netflix and then produced like 14,000 shows. Yeah. Right. Um she received a similar um uh package from Amazon to do like a Laura Croft Tomb Raider thing and it's just not happening. It's so [ __ ] Stop stepping on my neck. How come when How come when Netflix gives us money, we have

to go there? people. These hoes are out here Stepping on my neck, taking my shine and development deals. Yeah. Give me the money to not do something. That's what I was built for. This episode of Bald and Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb. Let me tell you, I travel more than you think. I love to go to rural Wisconsin. And and you know where I'm from, it's not exactly a vacation destination of the world. So there's not fabulous hotel options, but there are in Northeast Wisconsin stunning Airbnbs. People have beautiful homes up there, beautiful modest cottages,

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I'm watching the new season. You're mad. I'm not mad. I just I don't love it when their relationship is so adversarial. It's it's it's it's distressing. It makes me upset when too. And I don't love like they're such a good team. If anything, I Wanted them to le out as many viewers did. They do. Are you kidding me? Well, the lesbians love old young thing. They love the old young thing. Sarah, the lesbians love like the um I'm your mom. Suck on this titty. I think right I think we could safely say that everybody loves

that. Right. No. Right. Older women age play age gaps certain certainly turn a lot of people on. What rich straight men go? Let's let's get me with an older gal. Where's my Who [ __ ] says that? Yeah. They're like, "Let me see some of my peers, right?" No, no, no, no. I think they don't even It's like um It's like the the dogs can't hear a certain tone. That's like men can't see a certain age. They're just invisible. How do I get me and three friends tickets to Beyonce? This is a great question. Um,

I'm so glad you asked. You're getting on the phone. You're making You're pulling strings. What? You're pulling strings. You're You're calling the most wealthy or well-connected person you know and say, "Hey, remember when I did that thing for you? It's time to payback, [ __ ] Where them tickets at?" And and then you hang up and you call the next one. You got to It's going to take a few tries. Drew Awala was like, "Oh, here's who you should DM this big company." That's what I did. I said, "Great." And I DM' them and they

didn't respond. Mama, you got on stage with Madonna. You were on stage With Madonna. Call her up. My thing is I like I like Beyonce. I don't like concerts in general, but I'm trying to show my group a good time. Yeah. I'm not getting a standing seat. I won't be doing this, sweetie. I'm not in the show. No. People love to stand next to the stage and stand. And also, you're not in the show, [ __ ] And also for quite a while. Hours. Hours before it begins. Oh, hours. Yeah. I I'm too old for

that. I can't do it. People come to Saloping disco at doors and they they're they stand for five hours. They love it. I was never that person. No, I've never been either. I went to the only concerts I can think of I've I've had the I need to sit. I'm old old maiden of Rickety Bones and stuff. I don't know. Also, I want to get up and pee. I want a snack. When I saw Koga, I was in the box with Rimmel and I got free pizza and as many drink as I wanted and I

have to get up. It was like this is amazing. Yeah, same. I didn't get the pizza. Jesus. But like got to see came through with the pizza. God, thank po pouring out for Rimmel. Pouring off for Rimmel. The multitasker concealer. I think I might be wearing that for my car. I think you are too. It's gone. Thank you. Um, girl, what are we doing? Wait, wait, wait. So much to talk about. We have so much to talk about. We We had so much to talk about. Stop. Don't hold it Against me. Don't hold it against

me. You got them. We got Can we tell the girls about Coachella? Yes. So now by the time this comes out, it was 8 months ago, but who cares? We'd love to revisit Coachella. It was a whole spiel getting out there. There was a whole drama of oh my the sound tech said to me, well did you get our dimensions for our our what they call it? Bit mapping for your visuals so that they match. I said no formatting formatting. No. And I looked Around at managers, agents, producers. I said buler. And they were like

never opened up a Photoshop. Don't know what After Effects, never seen a computer. No. So, and then I'm like freaking out cuz I'm like none of my visuals are going to match these giant screens. Great. So, I'm freaking out, but then I have to go get in drag. So, I just have to I practice what I think as a performer is really important, which is radical acceptance. And I had to just go At the end of today, I will have been in a wig and music will have been played. Yeah. And $400 hot dogs will

have been eaten. Yeah. So, let's just do it. So, I went and got in drag. I did my lovely little video I was working on. went, you know, you know, did the show and for for my hourlong set, I ran the visuals off the computer while I DJed. So, I'm running the visuals on the screen and playing the songs, whatever. Went so well. The energy was so good. It was 98°. 98 degrees, but it actually was so dry. It wasn't that bad if you can imagine. I can't imagine. Also, you're on stage, which is probably

the place to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not And not in a sea of people. I guarantee the people in the audience are are hotter. butts off. If you're on the stage, you're getting a breeze. The dual lab stage was beautiful. All the pictures, the flowing fabrics. It looks sensational. What a Career highlight. Career highlight. And I, you know, um did it for the glory. And and it got the paycheck. Yes. And it got wonderful coverage with wonderful photos. I was so happy and I loved I mean I think the most important thing to come

out of it I think we can all agree is that you were the face of that article. I was there an [ __ ] An article came out that said like Coachella goers pissed over $100 meals and the picture is me from the back. From the back. This respond. Yeah. Um local catered by this here, [ __ ] This is a woman who paid $100 for a hot dog in the desert. Did you have a $200 water? Well, this pig and can I tell you what else happened? Oh god. We got this amazing new costume

from Amy. This painted on pleather was so cool. Fit like a glove. We go to zip it for the first time. The zipper I haven't even worn it yet. It's not even on my body. We did one fitting. Um it's not even on My body. We zip it down. The zipper goes off the track. It hits the ground. I'm on the tour bus. The show's in 20 minutes. I go. So then I put on a real corset under it. And then the one in the costume becomes just decorative. Oh, I see. So luckily we had

a corset or it would not have fit cuz you know what would you have done? Nude. I brought back up costumes but I had that made for Coachella. Um, but I did see videos on TikTok of straight people watching me Filming themselves going and throwing shoes and stuff. Throwing shoes like like shut up [ __ ] enabler like you know men enabler like groups of like college age Caucasian men being like making a scene out of like since you're on stage and I'm here I have to cheat out to the group and go like Yeah.

Just so you all know that's gross and I would never suck a guy's dick. Certainly never fondle his balls. or eat his ass. But I would say to them, one of us is paying to be here And the other one of us has a free acai bowl waiting for them off stage. So, who's the winner? Who's the winner? And the devil laughs. And the devil laughs. I got a free veggie burger. And I went up and I said this by the dooab stage. Oh, okay. I said, "This veggie burger was really good." And this this

evil twink turns around and goes, "Really? I don't even know what I'm doing." I go, "Work?" But also, the truth is with veggie burgers, You can't poison someone. No. Worst thing that can happen is it's too cooked or not cooked enough. But it was delicious. Vegetables. I haven't had a burger without cheese in a long time. Just the bun and the That's cheese out of here. Thank you for a second. Thank you. It was really good. Oh my god, I feel so seen. That's I'm the only person I know on this planet Earth who will

only eat a hamburger with nothing on it. It honestly I'm maybe a convert. It was Delicious. You got to if if the meat is quality, but you know how people are. They don't just want to have sex. They want the finger up the butt. They want the cocaine. They want all of it. You know what I mean? Everybody's so active. I'll take the sex minus the finger minus the cocaine. Just My version of that is if I'm going to eat three bowls of Fruity Pebbles, I'm going to get absurdly high first. Okay. I bought something

from Marijuana store called Kush Kush. Kush. Kush. It's the um Let me tell you, it's not marijuana. It's crazier. Yeah. It's Do you know about this? Kush. Is it Kush? Is it Kush? Kush. Kush. Hello. Kush. It's Kush. Kush. Kush. Yeah. They sell at the weed store, but it's weed on weed. Yeah. It's when weed smokes weed. It's It's like It's like the It's like um It's like infused weed infused with weed. Yeah. It was not normal. And it's It was the length of a Dog walker, a shorty. Okay. But it was not It was

It was extra strength Tylenol. Oh, did you? No. I sit this this far from my 85 in TV and play PlayStation. It's so sad. It's so sad the way I spend my time. And when I get this busy, I get mad and I Part of me rebelss and goes, I don't care after work. I'm going to suck up. I'm going to stay up late. [ __ ] everybody. And then the next day, guess who pays for it? You. Me? You. Me. Love That [ __ ] Wake up. Had to go to PT this morning for

my back. The [ __ ] Oh, I always think parent teachers, but you're going to parent teacher conferences. You're tearing with three kids. I had to go to parent teacher conferences. How is physical therapy? Is it doing anything? Well, I'm so much better. I feel bad because my back got so much better. But so you're just going out of guilt. Well, the the PT person said it happens a lot. People go to PT and by the time they get There, their pain is resolved. So, they say they stop going. They said that uh the guy

says, "Do you do drag?" I said, "Yeah." He goes, "You wear big heavy wigs?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "A lot of your muscles here feel like they're really overworked and over this probably heavy hair. Throw a neck with that wig on. Throw a neck." So now if you come see me DJ, you might see me kind of the grudge. Just doing a release. No, no, no, no, no. I Got it. You take very clear fishing wire, hang the wig, right? You stand right under it. Hunty, have you seen these memes of RuPaul where people

are saying she looks like a bald woman standing in front of a wig? I don't I don't see the memes. I watched the show. Yeah. She looked like she I never thought that, but maybe I'll pay attention. It's wild. All I think about is that's a man, a lovely woman, bald-headed, standing in front of a wig Cuz it's a perfect circle that quite high on the head, right on the like the top, you know? It that's what it looks like. Yeah. She couldn't be She couldn't ever do a widow's peak or a little ventilation up

there. She said, "No way. They're letting the A1 do the hairline." The A1. A1 the secretary of education steak sauce. You're not only not qualified, you're going to go out there and say A1. Can I tell you what happened to me in the Versace? Versace. It's like It's like I'm the head of Givoni. I used to work for Versace. It's like this episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by BetterHelp. The times they are a changing. Years ago, if someone found out you went to therapy, they'd punch you in the face and steal

your lunch money. While 80s movie villains aren't roaming the streets belittling those who are seeking to better themselves with therapy, there's still lots of room for Improvement over how society views therapy. A whopping 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say they've avoided seeking mental health support due to the fear of judgment. That's crazy. People's rude judgment should not prevent others from seeking the help they need. Because it's not just the people who don't get help who are affected. literally everyone around them, including friends, family, co-workers are affected as well. So, This mental

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have to go out there guns ablazing because if it's weird, it's going to get worse." So, you have to actually start. So, I loved it. I love That show. And you got to get that play in the air and keep spinning it. Whereas at normal shows, people are drunk and adult gays. It's like okay. And there's a huge mixture. This is this is like a pretty specific age range. And some of them don't drink. Yeah. And it was also what like and what is drinking for Jenzi a thimble of you know Boons Farm like Yeah.

They're not drinking. They're not having sex. That was great. I loved that show. But I Did not love the um I don't say the Harford would be my choice of um my first choice of like retiring there and living forever. Maybe when we got back to the hotel. Can I say Harford? Right. Harford. Yeah. Yeah. I went to a bar called uh the the Pig's Eye. Mhm. Pig's Eye. The Pig's Eye, I think. And it was like very pig themed. Lots of pigs pigtype stuff. So, I had my one little drink there and I was

like, you know, this is A lovely heterosexual mixing event. Great for that. Went down the street to a bar called The Lady. Cuz I thought, I don't want to go to gay bars tonight. I don't really feel like um being fanned. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's okay. Go support the straight bars, right? They have straight people have so little in this world. So I go down to the lady cuz I thought, well, it's for me. Yeah, these straight people are not just drinking. They are throwing ass on a Level I've never seen in a straight

bar. Throwing ass. We're like a We're talking like queen playing. Uh the DJ playing Dancing Queen while straight people are on the stage like one foot up like like the waves keep on crashing on me for some reason. It was so crazy. I love that. That sounds fun. I walked in, I was like, "What?" And all these straight girls and straight guys. Oh no. Did they know who you were? It was like a bomb went off. You would have thought that Mary Kay Turno or Julia Louise Drifus or Ellen DeGeneres was there, right? The three

most the three most famous people I could think of in the world. A-list. So, Mary Kayla Tur, I don't even know who that is. She's a raper. Oh [ __ ] I'm I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't know. Sorry. She's infamous. Not famous. Is that the person who slept with Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. She's a groomer. It's okay. She's iconic. I watched that movie May December. Yeah. That's basically that tea. That's the first time I've seen a sex scene where the guy gets off the woman and she uses a towel to wipe the puss. No, not

just that. Oh, yeah. She gets her towel and she wipes the [ __ ] She wipes the puss and he retreats with a visible turgid member. Crazy. Charles Melton. Crazy. Thank you. Okay. So, I met the lady and I'm like, "This is crazy." The bart the bartenders There are um whenever young gals are dressed up for bartending, I always appreciate that cuz before they went to the bartending shift, they put on these girls had on little corsets and lashes and like Well, they went to little [ __ ] me mini skirts. I was like, "This

is amazing." Right. And so, um, the people keep coming up and taking pictures a lot. Like I like like like two dozen people. It was crazy. Wow. And then the boyfriends are drunk and They're doing this [ __ ] Hey, like my I don't know who you are, but like my girl really likes you. And like she showed me some of your stuff just now on her phone. Like it's like I just like really respect it. I'm like I know that this is huge for you, but get the [ __ ] out of here. Get

the [ __ ] out of here. I went to a pizza shop filled with orinary towns folk. Okay. It was like not my crowd. And then but sure enough, one girl behind the counter starts to have a Heart attack cuz I'm there. Oh, I thought it was a real heart attack and you were acting annoyed. No, cuz you can't get your food, you [ __ ] [ __ ] No, but I'm like I'm trying to keep a low profile because it looks like there's a lot of homophobies. A lot of homophobia in the air. Didn't

I was going to eat there but took it to go. How did you walk in? Well, I walked in like this. Right. You had on like an old [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah. But and then you Know she starts screaming. She starts screaming a little bit of crying and I'm like Yeah. God, I got one better for you. What happened to the lady? This gal, lovely gal, if this is you, she came up and she and she did what the drunk girls do, which is wait. Oh my god, shut up. Wait. No. No.

Stop it. Wait. And nothing happens. And they're they're telling you to stop, but you're not. So there's just nothing happening. And then she starts sobbing. And then She starts saying she's sorry. The crying and the sorry is a cycle. I'm sorry. I'm crying and now I'm crying. It makes me more sorry. And now I'm crying. And also like I didn't want to do this but but it's like well you are here. Well, you're doing it. You're here. I think that you know. So then I go to play pool and the gal sits on the the

gal sits on the bench and watches the pool and cries. So I'm playing pool and she's just sitting and crying. I was Like I can't tell if I'm ruining your night. Am I ruining your night? I'm sorry. I was like, did I derail her evening? Wow. I felt bad. Is it Do you think there's something particular about us or drag queens or what is it about us or is it is it is it like drag queens that make us so approachable and touchable? Touchable specifically? I don't know. Because people don't have any or people don't

seem to have any qualms about jumping in Front of me, screaming in my face, and then like grabbing me by the neck. You know what I mean? Things like that. Like it's a very like once they clock the once I'm clocked, it's claws in, right? And they don't there's no hesitation. Clocky and some clocky. Very clocky. Very protect the bricks. Bricky Lake. Bricky Lake. This is Bricky Lake, honey. Clocky with a tampon in. Clocky with a tampon in. When somebody cries like that, I think, have I ruined your Evening or made your evening? I don't

know. Like, what happened? Did I kill your dad? Like, what's going on? But I'm I'm just curious about the like the I don't know. Maybe because I used to be a shy person, I just don't get it cuz I even if I saw Julie Roberts or whatever, I would be like I'd be like, but then then it's like a Remember when you saw JLo at the gym? Do you think I talked to her? No. Do you think I said a damn word to her? No. I was internally screeching For 45 minutes. I tried not to

look at her, right? I mean, if there ever was an intimate if there ever were um I would go inside. Oh my god, it's JLo. But I wouldn't say hi. No, no, no. But I mean, think about this. It's a room like twice as big as this and there's just four of us. Yeah. So, it would have been like it could have happened, but I didn't do it. It's also if it's actually my favorite artist of that kind, like if I actually saw, I don't know, a designer I really Like or whatever, I might say,

"Oh my god, I I Yeah. But coming up because I know that you're famous and I found you." That's something I wouldn't do. Yeah. And also, I really people just really dying to get something on their their Instagram. You're like a Pokemon. Well, I've started offering the picture because I know they want it and they feel awkward. I know. It's it's a good way. I just want to help. You know what I am impressed by though? Because I before all this drag race stuff, I definitely a person who has a lot of social anxiety. Afraid

of people, don't know how to talk. Don't know how to talk on the phone. You think that that's different now? [Laughter] Before this Drag Race stuff, they gave you a personality shift. No. But so like I am amazed at the the hutbah that these people demonstrate Where they're clearly socially anxious and not very adept at these kind of interactions, but they fly into them head first and then just and then it's so awkward. It's so awkward that like you said, I just say, "Hey, you want to take a picture?" And you have to kind of

navigate them. And then it's hard when you're excited. Like when I asked Cynthia Rebo, I told her she was going to have a great year. You know, like I've been on the end of that where you You can't count on yourself to actually say what you come across the way you hope. Like that's with Kalista Flockheart behind the um at the at the end of Oh Mary. Oh my god. I was not exactly the my best self, but I certainly didn't throttle her at the neck. No, you were like, "Hi, I'm Katia." And she goes,

"I'm Kalista." And you turned and it was almost like a couldn't help but wonder. You were like And then you turned to me and you go, And I go, "Yeah, that was the other Kalista Lockheart." But they had told me she was back there. Oh, really? So I knew. I went I went and watched um revisited a few clips of Ali Mciel uh that there's a scene where in the bathroom in the unisex bathroom she Lucy Lou um uh Jane Kowski or no um Porsche Dasi there's a big cat fight on the floor. There's a

big fist fight. Oh, you told me about that. It's so great. And that movie that I used to watch. Alan is A dream sequence. Did they really fight? No, they really fought. Oh [ __ ] Here's country. Yeah. Took place in Boston. Boston law firm. Boston Legal. Exactly. Is that a show? Yeah, it came right after Ellie Mciel. People nut for Boston. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, just got to call. Oh [ __ ] Oh, it's like super short though. Do it and we'll come back. It's not time. They're going to call me. So, I'm

going to leave my phone on and we can talk Till they call. Okay. Besides, two weeks ago, this doctor had a follow-up and didn't call at all. So, they might not call today. They called me yesterday night and said, "We're rescheduling for tomorrow for a phone call." Said, "Great." Cuz he's in surgery. Oh [ __ ] Surgery. Well, surgery is probably more important than I don't know. We're making people cry. It's also dermatologist. What could happen? Why are dermatologists the most Elusive medical practitioners on this earth? Don't even get me started. There are three of

them in this country. It's Larry Sapperstein. If you could get the the next available appointment for a dermatology is is 2026, 3 years from now and you need to take the Blue Origin to get to it. Yeah. They're like, "How's Tuesday of next year?" It's not literally. I know. Literally. I mean, I I'm crying in the parking lot with with a face full of rosacea on the phone and They won't see me. I do like this dermatologist a lot. He has been very helpful cuz um I mean, I get these Do they even exist? I

get these dry rashes now from doing drag. My body has started to reject makeup and shaving. So now after get out of drag, my eyebrows are all red. My chin is all Do you ever get dandruff under your eyebrows? Which I do. I have it now. I do all the time. I think it's from drag. Yeah, it's crazy. I think it's from the glue. Oh, see. We're not supposed to be gluing your eyebrows down. That's true. It's not Give me the We're also not supposed to be packing our pores in with um with uh red

dyes and all that crap. And I like this doctor. They got me on the enzymes. Do you know about this? Extreme peptides. So maybe yes. No. Injectable enzy peptide enzyme things. Yeah. What are you taking? Um I don't even know what they're called. Well, there's one meal. Thomosen. Okay. And BP 175. I Don't know. Zant75. What is it doing? Um it's one of the side effect one. It's supposed to help with my skin, but they also said does it give you boners? No. They said that it would help regulate my immune system response. Oh. And

my arthritis is gone. You're kidding. I'm dead serious. I've been able to run two miles for BPK 175 or whatever. I've been able to run two or three miles a day without any pain whatsoever. This took how long to discover so many years of Arthritis? Like a year. Oh, not bad. But also, did I tell you I started injecting my own drugs now? Yeah. Welcome to the dark side. But look, can I show you? It get bruised. Oh [ __ ] Now, what kind of are these the little guys or those crazy Simeia Skia needles?

are those little diabetic cat needles which are fine. No, it's it's like you pinch the fat, it's like whatever. 45°ree dartlike motion. If you do it like it says, you don't feel it. You don't feel it. But it's Crazy that you don't feel it, right? It it freaked me out. It's crazy. And you do have to sort of remove yourself that it's your body and you have to focus on just the jab. Yeah. It's so weird. I don't like it. It's weird. And my sharps container is just full of needles. I said, "Okay, losing Isaiah."

Okay, Philadelphia girl. Okay. um a rec room for a dream. Yeah. I don't know. I hope nobody ever has to go to a um dermatologist because you will Be you will be solving solving riddles to get there over a rainbow and they will be What about this? I had to go get an MRI the other day. Really? They made me go to Santa Monica. It took an hour to get there. I have a new book recommendation. What you got there, Greg? I'm reading this book by Grady Hendricks, who I love, and it's called Witchcraft for

Weward Girls. Oh, sounds young adult. It's not. Okay. We're going to pause. Okay, pause. Talk to the Talk to the dermatologist. They said just take your face off, throw it on the ground, ugly. Yeah, they said throw throw a uh shove a nuke up your [ __ ] Shove shove a nuke up my [ __ ] Sorry. I say the entire medical complex is waiting. It's waiting and paying. Yeah. It's it's waiting and paying. It's a lot of money. It's not a lot of Can we talk about when you go somewhere and They make you

fill out a clipboard of medical and every single piece of paper has name and birthday on it? Aren't we past that? We have A1. You know what I mean? Like just use A1. A1. Use chat DDT. Not to mention it's like what's your birthday? Do you have Google hoe? Like I'm on IMDb. I I just shoved a nuke up my [ __ ] All the waiting. Yeah. I mean Well, when healthcare is a business, I don't like it. Then you got all these concier Services for the ultra rich, whatever. It's like you the only way

you get good healthcare in this country is being dirt poor or filthy rich. Yeah. Have you noticed that? It's crazy. We don't talk about poverty in this country. What's that? We don't talk about poverty. Uh, no. Because we demonize it. But we politicians make it illegal. They get they all politicians talk about is the middle class where working class. Do you know how many People are below middle class? [ __ ] [ __ ] Where? Also, you know what? I am just like I've kind of had it a lot of put it up your ass.

Shove a nuke up your [ __ ] Shove a nuke up your [ __ ] Like I was watching Bernie S clip of Bernie Sanders. I was like you talk a lot. You talk a lot about great stuff. Where's like make it happen? Well, you know that I mean we're I think we're I think we're circling the drain as far as we have to We have to retire ourselves as the country the party that does nothing. The Democrats love to talk chat. They love to they love to chat chitter chatter at a website ASL. Remember

chat rooms? You know what I love? H sex location. Yes. I love on the news when um older people who are news people are talking about some kind of new thing. It's called boofing. We checked in with a high school mom to tell us more about boofing. Jessica has just shoved a nuke Up her [ __ ] online. Not what you'd think. They're called chat websites and they become a portal for pedophiles to talk to young Americans. Yes. It's called Discord and it's where you can get called a [ __ ] no matter what time

of day it is. Girl, we're I was watching this TikTok and they were saying that we're the last generation. It was like, you think we don't know about cringe? We've been on every mama. We've been on every social media platform since it was Invented. Sweetie had a MySpace page. Know about learning learning HTML so that you can have pony genuine playing on your homepage. I had I had a welcome to my page um mix. I also had to choose eight of my best friends to feature on the my top eight. And that was serious. Yeah,

because I only had four. Remember Tom? Tom from MySpace. What's she up to? Mom, she's nothing good. She just shoved a nuke up her [ __ ] Yeah, it has to be. I think probably she Showed her she sold her thing to Zuckerberg or whatever. Who knows? Do you know what else I want to really bring back? Do you remember that audio of Melania being like, "What the [ __ ] do we have to do Christmas?" Yeah. What the [ __ ] is this Christmas? I don't know these kids. That's me try in my basement

trying to um find my Christmas tree. Why do I think I [ __ ] about that Christmas? You think I'm going to Let me ask you something. You think I'm going to put up A Christmas tree and and and string those lights and plug them into the wall knowing what I know now about what that means, right? You think I fell You think you fell Christmas tree, [ __ ] I am not doing anything. I might put the tree up naked and afraid, bare. No light. No prominence. Maybe I'll just sh I'll just every single

[ __ ] ornament I can find and then every rubber band and piece of [ __ ] trash in my house I'll just put there And throw spitballs at it. I won't I'll just have spitball trash trees. Like you ate a banana and hang the peel on it. Yes. Like that is so crazy. Like that would be kind of [ __ ] though. Um one of our managers just gave me a tree topper. They said this has been sitting in our house since last holiday season. Was it that crazy Rupaul one? No, it's a disco

ball. Oh, that's fun. This year I think What's the theme? Well, I've always done pink and green because of The house. Sure. But this year, I think I want to just say [ __ ] it and do orinance of all different colors. That would be rainbow lights with rainbow ornaments. If you're going to do that, you got to go you got to go every square inch covered. Covered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of like the celebrity trees that have the oversized like ornaments and lollipops and [ __ ] Weird. It's weird. Also, like

if you don't do your tree, what are you doing? It's Yeah. I kind You know what I mean? Like it's like I don't know. Like it's like do it or don't do it. But like I hired a It's like we just hung up the tree but like we hired a company to do it. Right. It's like Lisa Vanderprop has like nine trees and she's involved in the decorations cuz she's elbow deep. Yeah. If you're not going to do it. I don't know. I just got to shove a nuke up my [ __ ] Should we

switch religions? We don't even have a religion now. Like I was like what? Wait. We I think my religion now is basically RuPaul's Instagram. her reals, her Tik Tok. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, "Which one of you [ __ ] is my mother?" It's just so funny. She has a good Can I help you? And she has a the purse on the side of her head. What a fool. She's so funny. So funny. Oh, speaking of, we got a porn out for our girl Jiggly. Oh my god. I know. Star diva. Sad. So [ __ ]

sad. So So Sad. I you know our manager is very involved with the end of her very the tragic end of her life and it was like it was horrible hearing everything that was going on. Tell them how you found Tell them how you made that call. Oh so yeah my [ __ ] you know I'm the queen of being tacked the queen of tacked. I I called my manager. I'm like why the [ __ ] do we not fly Delta anymore? And he's like yeah Jiggly's in the hospital dying. And I'm like, "Okay, let

me just Get on my Southwest flight. Get the [ __ ] out of here." Yeah. Maybe I'll just shut the [ __ ] up. Yeah. It was a big uh I got slapped with the hand of reality. And um I only got to meet her once. I was backstage in New York. She was once really. Maybe once at Drag Quin and and once backstage. We never really worked together. We worked together a lot. Probably a lot more than she wanted to. And you know, she was we called her Mrs. Jigglesworth. And um she's just always

So funny. She's just like a bubbly, bright, wonderful person. So, it's sad. Weird when Drag That's what I was thinking. You said that a while ago, like when Chi-Chi died, I was like, it is so strange. It's like Mickey Mouse doesn't die. I was Jessica Rabbit can't be killed. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like, do you remember like a couple months ago when I told you I got drunk and watched a bunch of like ruicles? I Watched uh Sitting on a Secret and Chi-Chi came on and I was like, "Oh, it's Chi-Chi.

Oh my god, she's dead." It was like a two-part to me to connect that that person is dead and connect it to that drag queen on TV feels like a very impossible stretch. Jiggly from Drag Race from we a famous drag queen. It's very sad. I think drag 44 years old. I'm That's one year older than me. Should have been me. It's never who you Want. No. Damn. You said I volunteer as tribute. Yeah. I was like take my leg. Take my everything. Damn. Well, shout out to Jiggly. Lovely. Pouring out for Jiggly, sweetheart. Lovely,

lovely, wonderful person. You guys can see on the internet all the girls are taking to the online to say, "Love you, Gal." Yeah. I saw a meme of St. Peter saying, "Can I call you Jiggly?" That's sweet. Oh, that is so funny. I don't know if I believe in Heaven, but I do believe Jiggly's going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't But is it is it weird that if I don't believe in God, but when someone dies, I'm like, "Well, I know that Jiggly's up there in a bathing suit with fierce wings on, right, and

she's letting people have it." Very Victoria's Secret tea. Hello. So, turn to your left, turn to your right, and tell those people you love them. All right. Thanks so much, everybody. Thank you. Shout out to Julie. Pouring out for the home girl. [Music]