hello and welcome to Lost Love Chronicles when I woke up in the morning nothing seemed out of the ordinary except that my wife Debbie wasn't in bed next to me I am usually up a little earlier because I start work at 8:00 and my wife not until 9:30 I completed my morning routine and was heading downstairs to get the coffee ready for my wife and me when I smelled the coffee already being made when I got downstairs there was my wife already dressed for work sitting at the corner breakfast table she smiled at me and
we said our good mornings as I was grabbing a cup of coffee my wife said I have to go into work early this morning for a meeting I will be off at 5:00 and come straight home so we can talk as soon as you get home it caught me a little off guard and I raised an eyebrow and asked oh oh did I forget something what do we need to talk about Debbie just waved a hand at me and said that we would talk about it later that it was nothing that couldn't wait with that
she got up put her cup in the sink kissed me goodbye and was out the door before I could respond before getting much further into this story I should tell you a little about us I am Tim Johnson my wife Debbie and I have been married for over 41 years that's right we married right out of high school when we were 18 years old we knew each other since second grade we dated all through high school and we both knew we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives neither of us ever
dated anyone else and as such we learned about sex together and as such we were our only sexual partners hell I never even kissed another woman other than a peck on the cheek in greeting and I assume it was the same with my wife we went to the same College as a married couple living in a cheap apartment with part-time jobs to see us through I had the GI bill to help with school costs and her parents helped her out so while it was a bit of a struggle it wasn't all that harsh in existence
in fact we started our family while we were still in college our oldest child Terry is 37 years old married with two children she is a family law attorney for an out ofate firm our second Darcy is 35 and single working in Washington D.C as an assistant to a director in the Department of Agriculture our baby Sydney is 34 and married to a police officer in our hometown she has our other two grandchildren and is a hardworking stay-at-home mom we are very proud of all three of our girls after school I go a job as
a risk analyst for a large Insurance Corporation and Debbie became a grammar school teacher for the local school district and later worked in the administration office part-time at 59 we are both in excellent health and physical condition we have both always been very active I golf swim and go to the gym at least three times a week my wife however puts me to shame with her workout discipline she is at the gym 5 days a week and is an avid distance Runner pretty much every day I may be biased but she is still the most
beautiful women I've ever seen she weighs the same as she did the day we got married not bad for three kids and 41 years when we were young she was so beautiful that when she entered a room even the women would stop to stare at her to this day she draws attention from men half her age but she always handles herself with class and dignity Debbie and I talk about it all the time our family life is the epitome of the American dream we were so lucky to have found each other and we think are
lucky stars for the life we lead every day unlike most men when they hear words to the effect honey we have to talk I wasn't filled with Dread or breaking out into cold sweats I was curious but we talk all the time family meetings we called them and we had them even before we had children it was our way of planning our lives but she didn't say we were going to have a family meeting did she at work I wasn't consumed with angst about the upcoming meeting but I did Daydream a bit of a very
memorable love making session the night before Debbie is a very vocal and direct lover she is not at all bashful about telling me what she wants and making sure she gets it she never fak an orgasm because long ago we discussed that we had to be honest with each other and strive to make our love life better better faking orgasms wouldn't help Debbie isn't one of those ladies that will have a series of small orgasms when she goes over the edge it is with an incredible amount of screaming her whole body Quivers as her eyes
roll up into her head and sometimes she even passes out for a few seconds she doesn't even want to be touched for a few minutes because her whole body is so sensitive it is amazing to watch and be a part of she tells me all the time that she would never cheat on me because it would take too long to train a new lover after 41 years of marriage we still make love two to three times a week another thing she tells me often as she did last night is that while my meat may not
work like it did when I was 25 my lips tongue and fingers were magic and working better than ever all in all we enjoyed a very satisfying love life well into our middle age as my curiosity was aroused I left work a little early and headed home I wanted to get home before Debbie so I could change and get comfortable with a glass of my favorite single malt scotch and find out what our talk was about my curiosity started to turn to worry when I pulled into the garage and saw that my wife's 7-year-old Camry
was already there my worry deepened when I saw her sitting at the table with a glass of wine in her hand and my Scotch already poured and placed at my seat she looked very distraught as she was continually rubbing her knee with her free hand this was a nervous habit of hers ever since I knew her I asked if I could go change before we started she replied no I want to do this right now please sit down I didn't argue as I was sitting down I was convinced she was going to tell me that
she was sick I felt my chest getting tight and was having difficulty breathing normally I looked into her eyes and saw well I don't know what I saw but I knew I had never seen that look in her eyes or that facial expression before she seemed nervous and her voice was breaking as she spoke in a very low deliberate manner Tim there is something I been thinking about for quite a while and I need to get this out without interruption please let me finish before you speak so that I can make you understand how important
this is to me as she continued she seemed to gain a little more confidence and I need you to not lose your temper and turn this into a childish yelling match can you do that for me please I nodded my head slowly without speaking well at least she wasn't going to tell me that she was sick but I suspected it was going to be much worse and I was right honey you know that I love you more than life itself I have loved only you since the grade school there has never been anyone else in
my lifetime my chest was hurting more my breathing becoming more difficult and an aching pain began in my shoulder as she continued you and I are going to spend our old age together bouncing our great grandchildren on our knees we are going to travel the world together but there is something that I have to do the pain in my shoulder was now shooting down my left arm and I was getting dizzy I couldn't catch my breath Tim pay attention this is very important I just nodded and thought this couldn't be happening to me well I
have been thinking for months about this and there is something I have to do before I am too old the room started spinning and it felt like someone was standing on my chest I going to date other men to see what I have been missing all these years it won't last forever maybe 6 months and I will be back to being your loving wife proving to you every day how deep my love for you is I started to say something but nothing would come out of my mouth then everything went black light was creeping in
from the darkness trying to break through the haze I was trying to open my eyes but my eyelids must have weighed 5 lb each I struggled mightily to get them open and I finally accomplished the task where was I what were those beeping noises how come I can't move my throat was very sore what is my name I must be in the hospital what happened to me all these thoughts were rushing through my head when I remembered that I was Tim Johnson and I was in a hospital because my wife tried to kill me why
did she try to kill me my brain was working a little better I was at the kitchen table she was talking then I remembered the conversation it wasn't really a conversation it was her telling me something telling me that she was going to kill me as the fog in my brain cleared I noticed a nurse standing at my bedside looking down at me and smiling welcome back Mr Johnson my name is Nurse Smith you were in Mercy hospital because you had a very serious heart attack a few days ago it is called the Widowmaker and
you were lucky to be alive funny I didn't feel lucky it's 3:00 a.m. and the doctor will be by later this morning to explain in more detail about your condition I tried to talk but nothing came out because my throat was so sore and dry don't try to talk Mr Johnson you had a ventilator in your throat so it will take a couple of days to heal itself I was thinking more clearly now and made a riding motion with my hand nurse Smith handed me a pad of paper and a pen I wrote in big
bold print no visitors she responded oh no you have had lots of visitors your wife and daughters have been here she must have noticed me wi and stopped talking I wrote furiously I don't want any visitors she seemed startled but asked are you sure I just nodded my head I scribbled another note do not share my medical information with anyone her eyebrows arched up but she just nodded her head as I was writing another note is there someone here at the hospital that can help me complete a DNR do not resuscitate order with that I
am sure I shocked nurse Smith but she held her composure your condition isn't nearly that severe I interrupted her by tapping furiously on the notepad I will pass your will wishes on to the day shift she paded me on the shoulder and left my room quietly I figured my life was over anyway so if something happened why let the medical community resuscitate me the way my luck was going I would probably survive but be turned into a vegetable so screw it plus there would be the added shock benefit when my wife found out what I
did and how badly she had hurt me I didn't fall back asleep I mean I had been asleep for a few days so all I could do was lay there and think and make plans I said I did risk analysis for an insurance company but really my job was to help my company's clients do risk analysis for their organizations it was a service my company offered and many clients took advantage of it I had done it for a number of years and was good at it and got paid accordingly in my experience all companies are
afraid of something but my job was to make sure they were afraid of the right things and offer solutions to mitigate those threats there is a process involved in accomplishing that analysis so I decided to adopt the same strategy to solve my problem you know the problem of why my wife would want to kill me I know my wife didn't really try to kill me with her statement but she damn near accomplished it the actions I had just taken would buy me time and time is what I needed to figure this out as I lay
there in bed waiting for Dawn to break I began the process of analyzing my situation I am one of those weird people that when I think I have a conversation with myself and this was no different okay Tim you've bought yourself some time now let's think about the real issues here it really wasn't all that unusual for my wife to talk very directly and succinctly so she wasn't trying to shock me with her statements it was just how she approached things her whole life what did she say she had thought about it for months was
there anything I should have noticed changes in her behavior had she been giving me verbal hints that I had missed could she have already been cheating on me the answer is no to all of those Debbie isn't flighty or prone to acting spur of the moment while she is deliberate once she formulates a course of action she doesn't hesitate or waffle she goes for after it another very important fact is she didn't say she would like to date other guys she said she was going to date other guys so Tim this means you have a
real problem that probably won't just go away because she put you in the hospital damn so Tim here are the outcomes that I can see one you could just let her date guys and hope that sooner or later she gets it out of her system and we can go back to how things were two you can try to talk her out of it because frankly I don't see myself being the kind kind of husband that shares his wife three just divorce her now and be done with it or four you could just die now and
not have to worry about it frankly number four is not looking too bad right now I still feel like apparently I was wrong though I could fall asleep because the next thing I knew daylight was streaming in through the window and the clock on the wall said it was 10:40 shortly after I awoke a doctor did come by and explain that a Widow Maker heart attack is caused by a complete blockage of the left anterior descending artery of the heart he said I was very lucky because this type of heart attack has a very low
survival rate if my wife hadn't been with me and called 911 right away I would have died okay he was the second person to tell me how lucky I was but I still wasn't feeling it I asked him if severe stress can cause this type of attack he said well yes severe emotional trauma could trigger it but your heart problem has to have existed for a while it is caused by a combination of genetics and high cholesterol why do you ask I explained as best I could what had transpired between my wife and I he
commented well that explains your request for no visitors in the DNR Mr Johnson you will be in here for a few more days but you are going to need lots of rest and quiet during your recovery period which will take some time we were able to put a stint in instead of doing a bypass so that should shorten your recovery time I can't help you with your personal problems but I strongly recommend that you see a counselor to help you with your issues once you're on the road to recovery believe it or not one of
the most frequent side effects of a heart attack like this is depression and it's obvious to me with your relationship issues you will be at high risk with that he left the room no goodbye nothing I don't blame him doctors don't usually like to get personal with patients just give them pills or operate on them then get out then another doctor who told me she was the hospitalist and went over all the drugs I was going to need for the next year or so it was a damn Pharmacy list yep solution 4 was looking better
all the time shortly after the hospitalist left I heard a commotion in the hallway the commotion was my wife being told that she couldn't see me after causing quite a scene she asked about my condition they actually had to call security and have her forcibly removed when she was told that I specifically said she was not to be told my condition for the first time since she hit me with her plans I felt a little better it's childish I know but still it was a small victory apparently the doctor after having learned my situation had
ordered a sedative for me either that or I was so tired I slept on and off for over 24 hours when I awoke again it was the middle of the night and nurse Smith was standing at my bedside I'm glad to see you awake she said with waited cheerily for me can you try speaking a little for me I was able to speak although with a little heness but at least I could talk thank goodness she asked if we could talk and I nodded my head yes but only if she called me Tim she laughed
and said that was fine and to please call her Beth she started out by saying she had been updated on my situation and understood more about why I had set up the no visitor policy but was still concerned about the DNR request I told her to forget the DNR I didn't really want to die and that I knew that sooner or later I would have to talk with my wife but I certainly didn't want to do that until I had recovered sufficiently Beth then told me that she understood but that she had to kick my
wife and all three girls off the ward shortly before I woke up she told me what I already knew that I would have to talk with my wife at some point but given the circumstance maybe I could talk with my daughters at this point it struck me how much if anything did my daughters know about what their mother had said to me the girls were very close to their mother and it could be that they knew in advance what she was going to say probably not but Debbie was especially close to Darcy even though she
was in Washington DC they talked just about every day on the phone so maybe Darcy was aware maybe Debbie had told the girls the truth after what happened to me at any rate I agreed with Beth that I should talk to the girls especially because the older ones had traveled a great distance to be near me Beth said that she would contact them and have them return to speak with me but only one at a time I told her in no uncertain terms though I wasn't going to talk with my wife and she understood I
thought it interesting that the girls were back outside my room within 5 minutes apparently Beth had only kicked them to the waiting room I'm pretty sure the fix was in but I did want to see my girls so what the heck I did talk with each of my daughters that evening but told them I didn't want to talk about their mother I wanted them to know how glad I was to see them and that I loved them very much I had tears in my eyes and became quite emotional when I finally realized how close I
had come to never seeing them again Sydney did manage to sneak in that Debbie had told all three of them that she blamed herself for what happened to me but with no specifics I didn't argue the point with Sydney and I know she found that interesting she also mentioned that Debbie promised to sit down with them tomorrow and explain further Terry and Darcy did tell me that they would be taking extended time off to help with my recovery I was overwhelmed with emotion and Beth had to put an end to the visit after the visits
with my daughters I knew that no matter what happened with Debbie life would go on my life was going to be more complicated but it wasn't going to end I just needed to decide what to do about my relationship with my wife was there even a point in talking to her about it even if she scrapped her dating plans could I still live with her I needed to answer that question before talking with her maybe the girls could help me with the decision if Sydney was right Debbie would have filled them in on what precipitated
my heart attack so their perspective might help me cheating doesn't just affect the couple's relationship it affects the whole family a very interesting development was that my wife and daughters decided that when released from the hospital I would stay at our house while my wife would move in with Sydney's family into their guest room Terry and Darcy would alternate providing what care I would need for a few weeks the doctors were confident that I would be back to normal activity within 5 to 6 weeks I was content with the arrangements but thought it very odd
that the first two weeks I was home my wife never made a single attempt to contact me not even a text message perhaps the girls read her the riot act and told her to back off or could she be using the opportunity to go out on dates I just didn't know but really I wasn't up to a direct confrontation I decided to speak with Darcy first as she had always been closest to her mother and would possibly give me a peak into my wife's State of Mind Darcy and I met alone at the house and
she knew ahead of time that I wanted to talk about the incident with her I like my wife am a pretty direct person so as soon as Darcy walked into the room I blurted out Darcy how long have you known about your mother's desire to date other men I ah we talked about it some she mumbled without making eye contact how long Darcy I growled I'm sorry Dad about 3 to four months my blood pressure was rising and I was losing control already this wasn't good I needed to calm down I'm sorry Darcy I didn't
mean to yell at you I really want your input here this has hit me really hard I had no idea Your Mother wasn't happy with our relationship it's literally breaking my heart I tried a little levity to calm myself oh Dad she loves you very much and this doesn't mean anything she just wants to experience some things before she gets too old it shouldn't reflect on your relationship at all do you really believe that I mean really Darcy how can her having sex with other men not mean anything to me I'm flabbergasted that you can
say that so your opinion is that I should allow her to have sex with other men so she can experience more in her life then return to me as if nothing has happened well maybe not as if anything has happened but your love for her should be strong enough to get past this she has devoted her entire life to you to all of us and she just wants this for herself really Dad you're 59 years old and you have probably slowed down some it's normal that Mom wants to experience younger men it's a natural thing
for a woman to want to experience now there was a shocker I figured Debbie didn't want to date old men but hearing that from my daughter really hit home it was all about sex while I may have slowed down I thought I still did pretty good but I guess I was wrong shouldn't her love for me be strong enough that she shouldn't have to date other men to be fulfilled and what if I have slowed down that's a reason for her to cheat on me don't be silly dad it wouldn't be cheating if you knew
about it that's she tried to talk to you about it we went around and around for another 5 to 10 minutes but really didn't get anywhere Darcy's opinion was very clear on the subject I had to end this conversation before I exploded in an almost childlike voice Darcy asked what are you going to do dad I don't know Darcy I just don't know but there isn't any way I can live with your mom sleeping with other men I am just not made that way I knew full well that Debbie would know the particulars of our
conversation in short order we hugged and said our goodbyes I thought to myself that I HED Darcy never married or at least disclosed her beliefs upfront to her fiance my conversation with Terry was about the exact opposite she came into the room all charged up and spit out I can't believe that old hag is doing this to us wo there I said with my hand up near her face that's your mother you're talking about and she isn't doing it to us she is doing it to me get real dad when someone in the family cheats
it affects us all so yes she's cheating on her family a terar you said she is not that she is going to cheat you really are clueless aren't you dad she has been going out with men since you were in the hospital I think she was doing it before you had your heart attack I don't think she has slept with any of them yet but she is definitely auditioning them I suspected that my relationship with Darcy was pretty much over after that Revelation I wouldn't be surprised if she was setting updates for Debbie it was
odd I kept waiting for another heart attack or at least a stroke but it didn't happen I felt only sadness because at that point I knew my marriage was over the truth was I wasn't really surprised Debbie did it she was always headstrong but why did she call the paramedics when I had the heart attack it didn't make any sense unless in her own bizarre fashion I guess she did at least like me all I could do was shake my head I again wondered if there was really any reason to sit down and talk with
her Terry and I talked for a while longer mostly about divorce laws in our state it really wasn't that complicated in a no fault state it was pretty much a 50-50 split of all assets Terry did say I might want to look into a legal separation if I wasn't sure about divorcing Debbie I told her I would look into it but didn't think it mattered really Terry also told me that while my wife couldn't stop a divorce she could really drag it out that caught my attention and decided to seek legal advice as soon as
possible Terry said she would send me some recommendations for lawyers the next day my conversation with Sydney was pretty much me trying to console her as she couldn't stop crying her Focus was for me to to let Debbie come home I reminded her that I didn't send her away she could come home anytime she wanted the house was as much hers as mine I did ask her a couple of pointed questions Sydney has your mother been going out on dates since my Hospital stay while I already knew the answer I wanted confirmation Sydney just nodded
her head and kept on crying how often Sid through her tears she choked out just about every night Dad I tried talking to her about it I told her she was cheating on you and she said she wasn't because she wasn't sleeping with any of them and besides she had told you what she was going to do all I could do was shake my head in disbelief before Sydney left I called her mother and told her that I was feeling better and that she could certainly return to her home any time she wanted I emphasized
though that I thought she should do it soon because Sydney was going to have a nervous breakdown if she didn't leave her house I hung up the phone while she was saying something but I didn't really care what she had to say I was prepared for our meeting Sydney had told me my wife would be home at 1: p.m. the next day so I had spent the rest of the day preparing my notes when you go into battle it is essential to have a good plan thoroughly vetted and practiced and I was ready for combat
of course the other part of that is that when the first shot is fired the plan goes out the window and that is just what happened to me when Debbie came home for our meeting she didn't just walk in the front door she stormed through it and screamed where are you my eyes were already wide as she saw me sitting at the table with my notes spread neatly for me without waiting for any comment from me breathing fire she continued her tiate there is not going to be any damn divorce as I previously mentioned my
wife was a school teacher and history was her favorite subject she was particularly knowledgeable of the American Civil War period it was obvious to me that she had employed Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain of the US 20th main strategy at little round top on the second day of battle at Gettysburg Circumstances had placed Chamberlain's 20th main on the extreme left flank of the Union Army and was the only regiment standing between Lee's Confederate Army and Washington DC the fighting was fierce and Chamberlain's men were exhausted and nearly out of ammunition their casualties were extremely high and
all seemed lost then Chamberlain a rather non-descript college professor of rhetoric in civilian life did the one thing no one anticipated he ordered what troops he had remaining to charge they did and essentially the union was saved well that is exactly what my wife did to me she charged when she should have been on the defensive and I was completely overwhelmed the next thing I knew I was on our bed and lying on my back naked and Debbie was riding me with her hands on my chest still screaming something barely intelligible about there being no
divorce and we loved each other and would be together forever my thought was that she was trying to finish the job she started weeks ago when she gave me my heart attack much later after having completely rung me out she began to get dressed and said she would be back tomorrow with her stuff from Sydney's house and that we would get on with our lives as she was walking out the door of our bedroom I quietly said Debbie thank you for calling the paramedics she nodded and in an exasperated tone it's because I love you
dummy and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together now get some rest because we have to make up for lost time and she headed out the door Debbie there's one more thing I managed to say with as much Authority as I could muster the first time you have sex with someone else our marriage will be over in a huff she spat out that'll be the day apparently she was a John a ficient a to for a month or two Our Lives did return to normal although it was a new normal because
she was still going out we never said one more word to each other about my threat of divorce she never really told me that she was going on a date but once or twice a week she just said she was going out and would be home late on these nights she would usually get home sometime around midnight she never smelled of sex although she sometimes looked a bit disheveled she would shower get into bed and then proceed to resume her efforts to kill me with sex I just went with it and figured if I had
to die this was a great way to go I knew she hadn't had sex with anyone yet because well just because I knew then one night she got home even later than usual it was after 1:00 a.m. I was sitting up in bed reading I could never sleep when she was out it wasn't that I was worried about her I was just waiting for the inevitable I heard the garage door go up as she pulled her car in her heels clicked across the tile floor in the kitchen and the stairs creaked as she walked up
when she came into the bedroom we made I contact and I just knew it was obvious that she knew that I knew she broke ey contact with me and headed into the master bathro as she spoke this doesn't mean anything at all it is outside of our relation and will be over in a few months there is no need for further discussion and she closed the door behind her when I heard the shower go on I got up and went into the guest room not only did I lock the door I pushed the dresser in
front of it I wasn't going to make the mistake I made at little Roundtop again somehow I knew though she wouldn't come out after me it wasn't like her in her mind when I got over my little snit things would go on and I was right I never heard a peep out of her the rest of the night for my part I didn't sleep at all there were tears in my eyes mourning the death of my marriage as my thoughts turned to planning for the next few weeks we were more like roommates than a married
couple we were polite with each other but simply did our day-to-day chores and duties I know she went out a few more times but I didn't know what she did I had completely moved moved into the guest room and in fact was usually asleep when she got home yes I really was asleep I found that as my plans Advanced I became more relaxed and confident that I had chosen the right path I never went through a hand ringing woe as me period wondering what I could have done better I didn't chastise myself for not being
a more attentive husband I refused to apologize or accept responsibility for not being aware of every emotion my wife might be experiencing in my mind of marriage is a covenant she broke the contract not me she never discussed any issues or disappointments with me she just told me what she was going to do the funny thing is though that part of me understood why she wanted to experience more it's a natural human emotion she just never gave us a chance to figure out Alternatives she had made a unilateral decision that effectively finished us end of
story I also understood why she made her decision unilaterally in the Western World Almost 100% of marriages are in some respects female domination ours was no exception I suppose if I could find any fault in this mess is that I was too accommodating but there was nothing in our 50 plus years of being together that should have sent the message to her that I would accept her behavior I let her make most decisions about our domestic life because it made her happy and it was more important to her in fact before we got married we
had long talks about our expectations of fidelity there was no gray area and certainly no hall passes I was never close to being unfaithful I never even did anything that would not pass the spouse test and I expected the same from Debbie she did this to us not me a couple of weeks after Debbie was unfaithful for the first time I was ready for her one night when she went out I sat at our kitchen table where we had most of our family meetings and waited for her to return when she came home I said
quietly Debbie we have to talk not now she said dismissively I need to take a shower and get some sleep we can talk in the morning no I responded with an author that she hadn't heard from me before we are going to talk right now sit down please she was obviously exasperated with me and sat with a huff into her chair across from mine her nervousness was obvious and probably due to the fact her Lover's smell was all over her but I didn't care I pushed a manila envelope across the table to her and stated
clearly these are divorce papers I have filed under a reconcilable differences at this point she started to say something and I put my hand up in front of her face no no just sit there several months ago you told me to sit and listen to you without interrupting and I expect you to do the same until I am finished she leaned back rolled her eyes crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me I continued these papers explain everything my lawyer's card is in the envelope you can sign and return them to his office
if you don't do this within 3 days I will have no choice but to have you served at your workplace I don't want to embarrass you publicly but frankly it wouldn't bother me to do that in the place where most of your lovers are don't worry I haven't had you followed I don't have photos audio or video of your infidelities none of that matters to me I continued it's really simple in a no fault state everything is split down the middle our children are grown and out on their own the house is paid for we
pay off our joint credit card debt and we move on are you finished she asked in her most condescending tone I simply nodded my head as she stood up she stated good we are not getting a divorce I am tired and I'm going to bed good night the next morning she wanted to talk interestingly she made a nice breakfast for us the first time in quite a while she actually appeared to be quite cheerful as she puttered around the kitchen when breakfast was ready and I had picked my jaw up off the floor She calmly
sat down and indicated that I do the same with her hand this was getting surreal I didn't sit I told her I would eat out and walked out the door what she didn't know was that I was head to the apartment I had rented near work and that I had no intention of ever setting foot in this house again except to remove my things when the divorce was finalized I thought I heard her softly crying as I got into my car but couldn't be sure I had no intention of talking any further at this point
my direction was clear she never initiated contact with me unless it was through her lawyer and I did the same she didn't sign the papers of course so I had her formally served at work as I had said she got her own attorney and proceeded to do everything she could to derail the divorce process no amount of pleading from me or our daughters made any impact on her actions but in the end there was nothing she could do to stop the divorce so 6 months later we were finally sitting in family court with our respective
lawyers honestly I wasn't really paying attention to much of what was being said I just wanted it to be over my lawyer had told me that this was the only formal proceeding I had to be present for and I was grateful but when the judge addressed my wife directly I sat up and focused my attention Mrs Johnson why do you not want me to Grant this divorce petition as it is written it all seems a fair disposition of assets my wife replied as she stood to address the judge dressed like she was going to church
your honor several months ago I made a terrible decision that ruined our 41-year marriage at the time I was going through menopause and not thinking clearly I was feeling old and unattractive some younger men at work had been flirting with me and showering me with praise and attention I sadly and ridiculously thought that my husband would understand and let me have a few months of harmless flanks I was dumbfounded as she continued he knew I was seeing other men from many months so I assumed he was okay with it I know now that I was
wrong I stopped seeing anyone when he hit me with divorce papers in fact I have been seeing a therapist several times a week and she has helped me see how wrong what I was doing was I know I can't stop him if he insists on getting divorced but I was hoping that you could order couples counseling for us to try to put our marriage back together we have been together for over 50 years and it seems to me that the least my husband could do is agree to go through therapy together before giving up on
our marriage as Debbie was sitting down she looked over at me with a Sly smirk on her face I thought for sure the judge was going to ask Debbie to marry him he was so enamored with her speech this wasn't good at all I looked pleadingly at my attorney for him to do something when I heard the judge addressing me Mr Johnson Mr Johnson are you paying attention I asked you what you thought about what your wife said she has made some very compelling arguments surely your 50-year relationship is worth trying to salvage oh I
said to myself this can't be happening to me my wife could hardly contain her Glee my attorney was doodling something on his notepad it looked like he was drawing a big Philips head screw I am so screwed but then I had an epiphany I was in combat again and the first shot had been fired I responded your honor may I have a moment to absorb what my wife has said she really has given me pause to think this I would like to talk with my attorney for a moment the judge responded quite good-naturedly of course
I think that is wise everyone in the courtroom thought they were witnessing a real Hallmark moment I quickly turned to my attorney who by now had finished his Philips head screw what happens if I withdraw my divorce petition right now can he still order counseling my Clarence daro like lawyer turned and stated no he can't the court no longer has any jurisdiction in the matter one more question Clarence who that's not important important right now what happens if I just disappear my wife would have to serve me in order to get a divorce right yes
but it isn't really that simple she could have a divorce granted for abandonment after one year he replied only if my luck changes I said wistfully and with a heavy sigh there isn't a law that says I have to live with my wife is there my mind was really racing now no there isn't he said in a lawyerly fashion then the light bulb went on in his head and he asked will I still get paid of course of course I smiled broadly and straightened my tie brushed my hands to smooth my slacks and stood up
to address the court everyone wanted the Hallmark movie ending so I was going to give it to them sort of your honor in light of what my wife has expressed in a most convincing manner I hereby withdraw my petition for dissolution of marriage immediately it was bedum in the courtroom not really there were only about 12 people in there and it was lunchtime so those not involved got up to head to the cafeteria the judge banged his gavel granting my request with a big smile and tears in his eyes my wife and her attorney were
both crying happy tears themselves I was steaming mad but it plastered what I hoped was a happy face on and walked directly out of the courtroom I reached my car with my wife hot on my heels blabbering something about us being happy blah blah blah I started the car and left her standing in the parking lot wondering what just happened as I pulled out of the parking lot I threw my phone into the bushes and drove straight to work where I immediately went to HR and tired I realized that I could draw on my 401k
because I was 59 and A2 years old I couldn't get Social Security for a few more years but with my 400 in1 with our other assets I knew I could make this work from work I went to our bank I did all those things people do when they get divorced right away our house was paid for and worth almost a million dollars everything else we had was about equal to that value so I was going to take it all and put it into my name only and quick claim the house to Debbie my family didn't
know where I lived and had only been reaching me through work or my phone so I had time to finish what I was going to do unimpeded 2 weeks later after having set up this meeting with Debbie I pulled up to her house technically my wife's house now I guess in my brand new 38 Georgetown class a motor home my new Jeep Wrangler 4 by 4 was hooked to the toe bar behind it and ready to go I knocked on the door and I heard Debbie approaching the door from inside all three of our daughters
were there too because I had given them a heads up to be there I knew there would be trouble and needed them to watch out for Debbie honey you're home thank God we were so worried about you the girls were already staring at the motor home and were sharp enough to suspect what was up sweetheart I actually stopped by to say goodbye what do you mean goodbye we going to be together forever aren't we we've always been together dear it's just that I am going away for a while but Tim what about work I retired
Deb and I am going to spend some time traveling the country but honey I can't get away from the school district on such short notice school is in session I know traveling the country in a motor home is our Dream but I am simply not able to do that right now she still didn't get it my daughters got it though and they were stunned they were already burning holes in me with their eyes because they knew I was going to leave them to deal with my basket case of a wife and they were not happy
we should go inside and talk Debbie there is a lot I want to say to you and I will give you a chance to talk also we all filed into the kitchen and sat around the table it made me choke up thinking about all the family meetings we had held at this table the thought that this would be the last one was almost too much for me to Bear but I had spent the last couple of weeks thinking about my circumstance quite a bit I had no anger left in me I was no longer nervous
fearful or racked with uncertainty I was more at peace than I had been in years so I began the meeting first off I want to apologize to you Debbie and to you girls also for the way I behaved when you first in informed me of your plans to sleep with other men I know I acted childishly at the hospital I put my hand up before Debbie could get a word out please let me finish I know you didn't give me my heart attack in a perverse sort of circumstance you might actually have saved my life
the heart attack was going to happen sometime anyway and because you were right there and called for help immediately I am alive and here today the medical people have assured me of that so thank you that really threw her for a loop I've done a lot of thinking since our court hearing and I realized something Debbie neither you nor I have ever been on our own we have been together since elementary school I think I understand now what your feelings were when you told me what you were going to do I was focused on the
sexual part of your desire when I think you were really saying that you wanted to be alone you wanted to stand up and take control of your life then I realized that I was in the same position as you our whole lives all our plans were done together and now I want to experience life alone too I believe that we both need to to be a part so we can find out who we are as individuals at this point I let her speak because there would have been no stopping her anyhow but I don't want
to be alone I am never going to give you a divorce we will be together for the rest of our lives I messed up so bad when I said those things to you how she managed to say those things through her tears and sniffles I don't know she looked like she was going to start hyperventilating the girls though teary ey did stayed remarkably calm and quiet throughout Deb I accept that you will never give me a divorce and I no longer want a divorce it is irrelevant to me but we are not going to live
together any longer I need to find out who I am outside of us I slid the quick claim deed across the table to her I am giving you the house and have taken most of our other assets and it pretty much comes out of 50 to 50 split the girls were openly crying now because they understood Tim sweetheart don't do this I can make it up to you I know you can forgive me given time I haven't been with anyone in months my therapist made me realize I how foolish I been please don't do this
you said you were coming back I already have forgiven you Deb I might be back someday I release you from our wedding vows I want you to experience everything in life you desire without any guilt I just can't be here while you do but how will I reach you if I need to talk with you you can't abandon me like this it isn't fair she had her head in her arms on the table sobbing hysterically unable to speak further I turned to my daughters ladies I am sorry it has to be this way I will
love you always and please take care of your mother for me if you need to reach me you can email me I don't have a phone or a mailing address as I don't plan on being in any one place very long they were all hysterical now as I got up and walked out the door I got into my motor home and drove away without looking back and headed off for my new life alone dear listeners please share your thoughts in the comments section below and don't forget to like share and subscribe
