The guy I'm dating said, "No extra pepperoni. I'm on the verge of dumping him. " Posted by you/peroni jerk.
Sorry for the dumb title, but this is a short and sweet post. I hung out with a guy for the third time last night. We stayed in and ordered pizza.
He wanted pepperoni. I asked if we could get extra pepperoni. I really like pepperoni for fs sake and pizza places never put on enough toppings.
He said no really firmly while kind of giving me the side eye and said he'd just give me some of his. That was the end of the discussion. I'm 5' 3 in and weigh 130, by the way, if it's relevant.
It's a good thing he didn't say yes because I was going to suggest extra cheese after that. I'm 39 and he is 45 and I just feel like I don't have time to put up with this kind of crap. I just have a effing feeling this type of thing is going to keep happening.
On the verge of dumping, he has other issues anyway that make this even a little more unbelievable. Crazy. P.
S. We got the pizza and it definitely didn't have enough effing pepperoni or cheese. Top/relevant comments commenter.
Did he state a reason? Is he the one paying? Regardless, he sounds like he may be controlling.
Only three dates in. I'd suggest dumping. Don't let anybody stand in your way of getting your pizza your way.
Lol. I say this with humor, but seriously, his reaction is like WTF to me. Ops response.
Thank you. I'm not kidding with this post. If he had said, "Can we get mushrooms?
" I'd have said, "I hate mushrooms with a burning passion, but we can definitely get them on half. " Commenter two, why would you even accept the no? Did you ask why not?
Ops response. I hope you're serious because I am serious. It was the no like I am a effing child that made me think, "Wow, f this crap.
" I didn't say anything because I was shocked. Honestly, I expected either an enthusiastic yes or saying he didn't want it on his half. I mean, it was the topping he already effing wanted.
Commenter two, of course, I'm serious. I wouldn't have tolerated it. I'd have said something or left and bought my own damn pizza.
You should tell him exactly why you won't be seeing him again. The pizza isn't the issue. It's the way he effing talked to you.
It's the way he refused to compromise. It's the way he put his preferences over yours. Update one day later.
So, this incident actually happened on New Year's Eve and I have been dating him since then. I broke up with him last Friday and it was really hard because he presents himself as is this really caring, sweet, attentive, interested guy. He went nuts when I ended it and reactivated all his dating profiles immediately and the last week has been hell.
I felt horribly guilty. It's been one guilt trip/ you're a bad person comment after another. emails about how he is heartbroken and only ever wanted to make me happy, had wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, was about to tell me he loved me, etc.
, etc. I have been trying to pinpoint where exactly I should have been more aware and headed this thing off at the pass and the pepperoni incident was it in my mind. I feel like he is genuinely sad and there have been these glaring things all along and I should have literally ended it after being deprived of my chosen pizza topping in such an authoritative way.
It just seemed petty at the time. I was so glad to hear I wasn't crazy. And a few of the comments were really helpful slash insightful, especially the person who called it said he'd be asking, "Are you really going to eat that?
" in no time. Things that transpired slash came out after the pizza incident. He says he was sexually assaulted by an ex forcing him to go down on her, so I'd have to give him time if I wanted him to do that.
He never did, but had no problem requesting being woken up with oral sex. He asked me my favorite position and then made an excuse as to why he could never do it that way. And we literally had Segs in his favorite position every effing time.
Did he care if I came? It was like it didn't register as being something important or relevant. When he came, Sex was over every time.
He got up, washed off his D like it was covered in hot sauce, and that was it. For him, a was a satisfying two-way sexual experience. Like, it did not occur to him that that turned me on and to not just effing leave me hanging.
He also told me he wanted me to wear lingerie and sent me a bunch of pics of what he wanted, even though I told him that made me uncomfortable. He made no real attempt beyond the first week to figure out how my worked. Why do guys slap it?
And I confess that a weird thing got me off in a nonsexual way, as in I could orgasm from it, but it wasn't like a turn on. And that was all he ever did after that. And that didn't work either, really.
He asked me multiple times, "So, do you just have no self-control at all? " In response to such things as eating an entire pint of Halo Top, eating three 15 calorie sugar-free popsicles in a row, you need to learn to control your urges and eating a box of sweet tarts that he brought me for Valentine's Day. He also told me not to eat anymore when a waitress asked me if I was done with my chicken fried rice and I said I was going to eat some more of it.
Just for a frame of reference, I don't claim to have a perfect body, but f off about 15 calorie popsicles. And funny enough, we went to a pancake house to eat and I had already looked at the menu online and chosen something that I wanted and that was low calorie because I actually don't eat that much. And he effing insisted I get bacon pancakes, which were twice as bad, giving me the longest sales pitch to the point where it would have been more awkward to say no than to just order what he thought I should.
He also hounded me about drinking diet soda and forced his opinions on me about everything from donating to charity to what type of apples I simply had to start eating to how old/abandon the cat I wanted to adopt had to be and continuously made comments about how I should be cooking my meals at home. I work 80 effing hours a week and spend an hour and a half a day at the gym and had to cram all that into five days so that I could devote my full attention to him for 20 hours at a time twice a week since he lived an hour away and needed to come here before traffic hit around the city and stay long enough so that the trip was worth it. Edit: This was because he lived with his mom, so I couldn't ever go there.
He, for some reason, seemed to be avoiding Valentine's Day and suggested we meet for lunch on the Wednesday before, a day when I had a dentist appointment at 2:50 p. m. and otherwise would be working all day.
then gaslighted me when I tried to break up with him a few days later and told me that I had been the one who suggested Wednesday. Still not sure what that was about. He assured me that I was crazy for thinking he wouldn't want to spend our first Valentine's Day together.
I still don't know if that was cheapness or some other issue. He gave me a card saying he was looking forward to many more together. I wanted to buy a PS4 because I'm a gamer anyway and he was into it and I wanted him to be able to play without bringing his over.
He wouldn't let me buy the one that cost $400 even though I was fine with it because it offended his sensibilities. I made $400,000 last year and the year before and the year before. And he is aware of this.
I didn't get one at all because there were no $300 models available in the stores we went to. The most annoying thing about all of this is this guy smokes the most pot of anyone I've ever met. With great excuses, of course.
He was literally baked 18 hours a day. He smoked every 90 minutes. He spent more time preparing, packing, and smoking bowls than any other activity when he was here, and constantly blew smoke in my face and shoved his little pot jars under my nose and had me admire buds, etc.
, etc. F. Edit.
Oh. And he left a bunch of it here after like four times hanging out. So, if I broke up with him, I'd have to get together with him to return his pot.
No doubt. I didn't see it till after the fact, but that was probably an intentional thing. Anyway, this all started with the pizza incident.
It's the first example of any of this that I can recall, and I was definitely offended by it at the time. I've always been bad at dumping people, and 2 months is a vast improvement. So, I'll consider this a win.
But for everyone who said to trust your gut, damn, were you right. I hope this helps at least one person and entertains a couple more. And for the red pill losers who showed up to insult women, enjoy making love to your right hand for the rest of your life.
You guys are sad. I'm 39 and it's been almost impossible for me to remain single for even a few weeks since I broke up with my ex at 35. You know, right when I hit the wall.
Top/relevant comments. Commenter, I missed your first post, but I was lured in by your headline. First off, the guy sounds mediocre at best.
You should be allowed to make your own decisions. PS4 and pancakes, etc. But what I want to know is back on the pizza issue, did you at least propose to do half regular and half extra pep/ cheese?
I'm guessing he'd have said no, but I'm curious. Pepperoni is good. Stand up for what you like.
Ops response. Did you at least propose to do half regular and half extra pep/ cheese? I didn't.
I think I'm failing to capture how surprised I was that he was just like, "No, it wasn't like no, that's going to be way too much pepperoni. Or do we have to? That sounds gross.
" or what about getting sausage too instead or anything that indicated he didn't feel he had the soul and final say on decisions? It was just no and then I'll give you some of mine, which I'm sorry, but I don't want the pepperoni you've picked off your pizza. Not on the third goddamn date.
This went on throughout the entire two months. We had a meal together every time we saw each other, and he pretty much always decided where and when it was. And it was his phrasing that offended me.
Are you hungry? Yes. Okay, we'll go eat in a half hour.
Like how your mom tells you what time dinner is as a kid. Commenter two. You are so far out of this guy's league.
It's not funny. You're successful. You're attractive.
Aside from your head looking like a slice of pizza, and you're hardworking from what you said here. This dude is a stoner who lives with his parents. His only way to reconcile this reality was to try to control you so that he would feel better about how small a being he is compared to you.
You are seriously better off without a person like that in your life. Ops response. Love this.
Thank you. Commenter three. I got through half of that and amassed at you continuing past any of them.
Are all girls this forgiving? Wow. Ops response.
No, they definitely aren't. It's a problem. Honestly, I had an abusive best friend growing up, an abusive steparent, and you just get used to sort of ignoring bad behavior.
It's weird. It just doesn't bother me the way it would most people. Like the pizza thing bothered me, but I let it go after about a minute.
It's got its good and bad side. I'll never be that BTCH that harps on and on about stuff. But then I have two months like this when it probably should have been over on January 1st.
OP adds an edit to her post. If you're wondering why I bothered to stay so long, it's because he was otherwise just a genuine pleasure to have in my life, as crazy as it sounds. He texted me every morning, all day long, to say good night, called just to say hi, sent me funny pictures of himself, and was wonderfully cuddly and affectionate when we were together.
He always wanted to get together, had no interest in dating anyone else, and seemed to want to make me happy, but without getting what that really entailed. He adored his cat and other childlike sweet things. Other than the godamn comments, he was a calming, soothing person to be around.
I just really liked him. I still do and I miss him. And I wouldn't have written these posts if I weren't sad about how the whole thing went down and made me feel.
