[shivering] Well, this certainly has been a glorious day, but I'd better get back to class. [mumbling] [chuckles] You said it, buddy. Where do you think you're going SquarePants?
! You just got here. Well, I'm sorry, Sandy, but I just got to get back to class.
Sure you can't stay for just a short spell, SpongeBob? I mean, it's such a nice day and everyone's having a good time. [all] Hi, SpongeBob!
No. I gave Mr. Puff my word and I shall not betray her.
Not even for a game of badminton with me and Dale here? Okay, maybe just one game. I'm serving it up, SpongeBob, ready or not!
Patrick, you remember how to play this game? Mm-mm. Is this the one with the lowest score wins?
Nice job, SpongeBob. You're serve. Here it comes!
[grunting] Hey, I'm getting pretty good at this game. He's about to beat the undefeated Sandy Cheeks at her own game. SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! [grunting] Yay! [chuckles] Excuse me, ma'am.
[whistling Hey, best friend, check this out. It's a small plastic disc that you throw. Small plastic disc that you throw?
! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw. I do too, buddy.
If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name. Oh. Oh!
How about small plastic disc that you toss? Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll toss it to ya!
Ready? ! [laughing] [laughing] That's why they call it a sandwi.
. . [laughing] [laughing] I caught it!
Good work, man. [gasping] I see you've read my book. Craig Mammalton?
The tanest man on TV? [chuckles] None other. Oh, look at those gorgeous wrinkles.
What, these? [cheering] Oh, and his skin, it's so leathery. Well, I don't mean to brag, but, uh.
. . [cheering] Whose Craig Mammalton?
You don't know who Craig Mammalton is? He's like so tan. Legend has it that his tan is so deep that even his bones are rich caramel brown.
Wow. His mother must be so proud. Please, people, please, there'll be plenty of time to admire my body this weekend at my annual summer shindig.
[cheering] Wow, Patrick, an invitation to our first summer shindig. And here it is. Can I help you, little fella?
Seems to be stuck. Yeah, I don't think this is your type of party. I don't want to embarrass you guys.
. . Hey, everyone, check this out!
. . .
but this party is for the pigmentally gifted. Must be this tan to enter. And your skin is as light and smooth as, uh, well as a baby's bottom.
[laughing] Why, thank you. We did put on a few extra coats of sunscreen today. In fact.
. . it's time for another coat.
We've got to look our best. Losers. [laughing] You're not coming to my party.
. . without a tan.
So, Squidward, what you wanna talk about? Well, it's, uh, kind of hard to put into words. Oh, I've been there, amigo.
You have? Sure, but nothing clears the sawdust out of your brains quicker than a ride on a jet ski. Ever been on one of these little babies?
Um, no, they always seemed a little sporty for me. Well, you only live once. And I just happen to have an extra helmet.
What the heck. Hey! [sighing] Ow!
Ow! Hey, watch it! [snoring] There's blubber mouth.
[snoring] There's Plankton's patty. You know what to do. Do I?
Oh, yeah. [snoring] [groaning] [screaming] [groaning] Oh, well. No patty for Plankton.
[crying] I'm going in. Eh. Just being near a whale's mouth gives me the creeps.
[screaming] [screaming] Quiet, you fool, you'll wake up Pearl. [snoring] [sighing] Smell that fresh seawater. Oh.
[chuckles] Right. Sorry. [sighing] [yawning] See Sandy, nothing to worry about.
Baby sitting is easy. [snoring] Hey, Uncle SpongeBob. Eh?
Open your eyes. You're just gonna love. .
. our sandy surprise. It's our gift to you.
Well, isn't that sweet. And it won't wash away. Cause it's made of concrete.
[mumbling] Good structural integrity, girls, but little tight. So sorry, Uncle. We made it too small.
But we'll get you out. With this wrecking ball! A wrecking what?
Owsie. [squawking] [grunting] Let's all go to my house and take a little break. [groaning] On, no.
A stomach ache at the beach? That's no fun. I wish it would go away.
Huh? Your wish is granted. Hold out your hand.
Wow. What is this? For fast relief of indigestion, try Gush and Flush and wash your pain down the drain.
And my stupid husband while you're at it. [sighing, groaning] [arguing] [screaming] [groaning] [screaming] Thank you extra strength Gush and Flush. [chuckles] [grunting] Let's kick it up a notch.
[grunting] [grunting] [screaming] [panting] [panting] [groaning] Shee-oot, SpongeBob. How we gonna go swimming when you're in a shirt and tie? Oh, yes, how foolish of me.
[laughing] Allow me to remedy said situation right now. I will just use this changing tent here to change into my bathing suit. And I won't do anything else.
SpongeBob's acting jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel. Wait. What?
[laughing] Oh, I'll be changing, all right, but not into a bathing suit. Wait until Sandy sees that I brought my karate gear. Hi-yah!
Hi-yah! Sandy won't beat me this time because I've got the elements on my side, the elements of surprise. Hi-yah!
[Sandy] SpongeBob! Are you ready? Yeah, Sandy, I most certainly am ready.
Ready to get it on. - Hi-i-i. .
. - Hi-yah! Look, SpongeBob, we both brought our karate gear.
[laughing] Great minds think alike, I suppose. Hi-yah! I may be down, but I'm not out.
Way to go, buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad. Three days!
Hi-yah! Sandy? Oh, I'm Sandy, all right.
I'm very sandy. Hi-yah! Oh, I get it.
She's Sandy. That's her name and she's also covered in- yes. On your mark, get set, eat!
Wow, you two are off like a herd of turtles. Watch this. [grunting] [belching] I win.
Hot dang! I'm faster than green grass through a goose. Hmm.
These jumbo dogs are much too big for your baby heads. [grunting] These dinky dogs should do ya. Thank you.
You're welcome! [air horn sounding] Ee-yah! I win again!
That's right. [groaning] I own all of y'all. Yeehaw!
What a beautiful day. You said it, pal. Can you believe that sun?
I could look at it all day. Huh? Patrick?
- What? - Nothing. So, how's that tan coming?
I don't know. Let me check. Looking good.
How's yours? Just a minute. [screaming] I could have sworn I was laying on my back.
[laughing] Yeah! Whoo! Larry!
Larry! Larry! Larry!
Hey, it's Larry the life guard. Mr Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle? Sure.
Don't scratch the paint. Lifeguard, how's the tubage? Gnarly, dudes.
Alright! Yeah! Whoo hoo!
Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar? Right over there. But you guys are way too old and unsightly for my beach.
And I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So polite. Just like we raised him.
What a guy. Is it any wonder he's so popular? Just imagine.
. . if I were a lifeguard.
That would be so cool. Oh, what do you want to be a lifeguard for? Nobody really likes those guys.
Being a lifeguard is so dumb. All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles, rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses and show off their gross misshapen bodies! Dude, put that thing away.
They're, like, children here. I'm going to the snack bar. Who needs to be a lifeguard?
I'm cool. I'm every bit as cool as Larry. And if I'm not, let me be struck by.
. . [thundering] a flying ice cream truck.
And live! Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers! [groaning] SpongeBob, you okay?
Hey, I didn't know you were a lifeguard. Lifeguard? The nose.
[gasping] White stuff. You think I'm a lifeguard? Sure.
There's no hiding the lifeguard look, SpongeBob, and you've got it. You really think so? You bet I do.
Say we're a little shorthanded around here. How would you like to work the beach? I'd love it!
Alright. Leave that on the bench, Kahuna. Hey, Annette, come here!
I want you to meet my buddy, SpongeBob. Hi. Babe, guy's a lifeguard.
[whistling] It works! [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon. And here comes Larry doing his trademark lay back.
There goes Sandy hanging ten, fingers, that is. There goes SpongeBob. .
. ripping his pants again. Hey, look, a cardboard box washed up on the beach.
Holy fish paste! It's a guy! Why?
! Why? !
Why? ! !
SpongeBob. Come closer. I need.
. . I need.
. . [gasping] What do you need?
A tailor. Because I ripped my pants! [laughing] [groaning] That kinda stuff is uncalled for.
What is that? That wasn't funny, SpongeBob. Y'all had me worried sick.
Dude. [crying] Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?
Oh, hi, SpongeBob [blowing nose] I'm crying because I've got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one. [crying] I don't know what to do with the other one. [crying] I'll eat one of those ice cream cones for you.
SpongeBob, would you do that for me? Sure. SpongeBob?
SpongeBob. - SpongeBob! - Yeah?
Isn't it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance? You can have anything you want with a little training.
Training? - Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive, and I can show you how.
- Assertive, huh? - That's right. Anything I want?
Sounds great! Wonderful. [laughing] [laughing] SpongeBob.
Don't let that guy sit on you. Assertiveness lesson number one: Tell him to get off! Um, excuse me.
Sir, you're sitting on my body, which is also my face. No, no, be assertive. Beep beep.
Not insertive! SpongeBob, you missed your chance. You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want.
You're too soft. - But I'm a s-- - Don't say it. There's the guy who took your ice cream.
Don't you want it back? Ice cream. Listen, you, my friend's got something to say.
What? Who said that? Was it you?
Tell them off, SpongeBob. Assert yourself! That's my ice cream cone.
Great. Now let him have it! You can have it.
Say thanks. No! I show you how.
Hey, pencil neck. Yeah, you. Slither over here!
Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery! [crying] Hey, that guy was crying. Those were tears of joy.
He was happy that you were assertive. Yeah. You see how wonderful life can be.
. . when you're maniacal?
Uh, I thought it was called assertive. Whatever. Well, if it got me this ice cream, then I like it.
Ahoy, there! Whoa. My name is Eugene Krabs, and I would like to know if I can interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious Krabby Patty fresh off the grill.
Are they free? Yes. Today they're only $3 each.
Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the sand. I told you.
- Yee-ee-ee-haw! - What? I love the beach.
Oh, that noise was Sandy. Y'all be careful. Looks like some big waves a comin'.
- Who are you? - Hey, either you buy a patty or get off me wave. Cowabunga!
What next? [babbling] Oh. Aloha, Patrick!
Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over 17 working days? I'd love to!
Squidward, show him a menu. Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.
[laughing] That's a good one, Patrick, on board! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Careful! You're gonna capsize us!
Almost up. [screaming] You idiot! [groaning] Patrick, look out!
Locals only! What'd she say? !
[screaming] [screaming] [screaming] Wipe out! Well, if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is bring it on! [laughing] [clearing throat] Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here, okay?
Let's call this silly business off. No way. You started it.
Fine! Have it your way. [laughing] Whatever.
[gasping] No, no, no, no. [screaming] [laughing] Whoa! Oh, hello.
And goodbye. [screaming] Aha! [screaming] Come on!
How you like them apples? [gasping] [laughing] You'll never win and do ya hear me? !
Uh-huh. Mm hmm. Well put, General.
We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? Yes.
We shall ready ourselves immediately. How you like me now? I like you this much.
Whoa! Feel me! [groaning] Patrick?
Patrick! Are you okay? !
Question is. . .
will you be? [screaming] [laughing] There are lots of ways to have fun here. Dudes, bury me!
[laughing] See what I mean? All done. All right!
Bubble Buddy, you dig him out while I get some cotton candy. Don't just stand there, dude, the tide's coming in. [laughing] Dude?
My friend's in there. Congratulations. Whoo!
Shake it! Whoo whoo! Shake it!
Yeah, shake that bubble butt! Yeah! [mumbling] Is my butt big?
[mumbling] Oh, oh, oh, it's the world-famous surfer, Grubby Grouper! Later, groupies! Grubby's got to go catch some gnarly pounders.
[howling] Oh, I'll never wash this flipper again. Hey, Pearl, shake hands with Bubble Buddy. Wha?
[crying] It's his first time on his own. Once again, congratulations. Popcorn!
Peanuts! Ice cold drinks! [whistling] Two hours is long enough!
That's it! Hey, Bubble Buddy, you're finished. He kept us waiting for a bubble?
That's nothing. He called us fat. [crying] He washed my flipper.
He owes me money! He made me provide excellent service! Dude, he made me experience high tide!
Oh-h-h! I'm telling you, he's huge. Have you guys seen SpongeBob anywhere?
You mean MuscleBob BuffPants? He's in there. Uh, whatever.
Thanks. I start off with 20 raw eggs every day, but that's just me. - Pardon me.
- Working out is my life. I remember when I used to look like that guy over there. Who me?
[laughing] I remember when I used to look like you, too. [laughing] But that was a long time ago. - Here's your drink, sir.
- Thank you. [grunting] Oops. [grunting] [grunting] [slurping] Yeah.
SpongeBob? Wh- Where'd you get those muscles? I created my own workout routine that's giving me amazing results.
Oops. Yeah, I have never felt better. - Heck, what's your secret?
- What? Your secret work out, what is it? Yeah, I mean come on.
Yeah, enough. Hmm. Well, I, uh, first, I take my hand, and I do this.
Are you kidding? Do these muscles lie? I'm glad to see you found an exercise program that works for you.
Yeah, your workout routine wasn't quite tough enough for me. Can't argue with those results. What you need to do now is put those muscles to the test.
I don't know, SpongeBob, this looks pretty dangerous. Yeah, yeah, you said it, buddy. Now we're really living like Larry.
Well, will you look at that? Now there's two guys who know how to live. Prepare for countdown.
I'm proud of them. Wait a minute, with that angle of trajectory, they'll land right in. .
. Ripper's Reef. They'll be ripped to shreds!
Wait! Don't do it! Stop!
Three, two, one, lift off. Drt! Whoo!
Whoo hoo! Whoo whoo whoo! Huh?
Whoa! [grunting] Look, guys, my advice wasn't meant to be taken literally! I meant to live life to the fullest, not to maim yourselves!
Look! Uh-oh! [screaming] No!
Well, I had better be off now. No! Don't go, SpongeBob, think about your fans.
Well, if it's for the fans, I guess I can play just one game more. Not today, yellow. You're playing with a convicted felon, and we know he's violated his parole somehow.
You might as well confess, Dale. Hey, man, I haven't done nothing. Oh, yeah?
What have you got in there? Hmm. Quasi gummy chewy candy fish.
Is this how you have fun? By eating your own kind? Scum like you make me sick.
Cuff him.
