[Music] have you ever tried to sleep but every time you try you become more awake you say to yourself I have to go to sleep now I have a big day tomorrow and yet the minutes and hours tick by and sleep evades you or think about that stressful time when you tried so hard to recall an answer during an exam but the more you forced yourself the more elusive the answer became does it sound familiar these are classic examples of trying too hard and achieving the opposite of what we want at its core the law
of reversed effort teaches you that sometimes the act of striving too intensely creates counterproductive results Aldous Huxley said the harder we try with the conscious will to do something the less we shall succeed but why does this happen you see our conscious mind which is analytical logical and sequential often clashes with our subconscious mind which operates based on feelings imagery and habits when there's a conflict between the two the subconscious mind vast and Powerful usually wins as French psychologist Emile coup put it when the imagination and willpower are in Conflict are antagonistic it is always
the imagination which wins without any exception let's delve a little deeper think of the last time you learned something new say riding a bike if you approached it with a tense attitude thinking at every moment about the exact mechanics chances are you wobbled over corrected and maybe even fell but the moment you relaxed stopped overthinking and let the process be more intuitive and natural the ride became smoother the Chinese have a term for it Wu way translated Loosely it means non-doing or non-action it isn't about literal inaction but rather about taking actions in alignment with
the flow of life without unnecessary Force Bruce Lee once remarked it's not the daily increase but daily decrease hack away the unessential he wasn't just talking about martial arts but life itself it's about simplifying stripping away the unnecessary tension and allowing yourself to flow with the situation rather than forcing against it so what does this mean for you as you strive to achieve your goals dreams and aspirations should you stop trying give up no absolutely not the lesson here isn't about giving up effort but understanding the nature of effort it's about recognizing that sometimes less
is more in your journey towards your goals it's crucial to discern when to push hard and when to take a step back and let things unfold naturally it's about balancing ambition with patients persistence with flexibility for many the desire to achieve can lead to constant hustling often resulting in Burnout or diminishing returns by understanding that not all situations require maximum effort and that sometimes a gentle approach can be more beneficial you position yourself better for long-term success Mark Manson said wanting a positive experience is a negative experience accepting a negative experience is a positive experience
so when you keep wanting happiness it can make you feel like you're missing something which can make you less happy but when you're okay with how things are you often find the happiness you were looking for another thing you cannot force is attraction attraction is something that naturally occurs and you can't really control it many times when you try too hard or become too clingy it can push people away on the other hand when you give space or step back it can make people more interested just like the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder
taking a step back can sometimes bring people closer according to Victor Frankl if you obsess over getting a particular result or worry too much about something you end up feeling stressed even before anything happens this kind of stress called anticipatory anxiety can actually make the things you fear more likely to happen it's like when you're so scared of making a mistake that you end up making one so focusing too intensely on a certain outcome can sometimes cause the exact problem you're trying to avoid when you become overly focused on achieving a certain feeling or result
it can interfere with your natural experience of the moment for instance if you're too focused on having fun you might miss out on actually enjoying the present because you're too wrapped up in evaluating if you're having enough fun similarly in Intimate situations being overly concerned about reaching a climax can actually make it harder to do so the pressure and anxiety caused by this intense Focus can prevent you from relaxing and just experiencing the moment which can hinder performance or enjoyment it's a paradox where your intense desire for a specific outcome can be the very thing
that keeps you from achieving it Frankel has a unique idea called paradoxical intention it's like doing the opposite of what you're scared of so if someone is worried about not sleeping they would try to stay awake on purpose this can make them feel less anxious and might even help them sleep it's a bit like using reverse psychology on yourself so my friend pushing too hard often doesn't give the results you want if you constantly Chase someone they might start to avoid you similarly if you're too pushy when trying to sell something you might end up
selling even less but just sitting around and doing nothing won't help either so you need a middle ground this means you have to work hard at times like when you're practicing or learning something new it's all about understanding and getting better but once you've learned it's best to relax and let things happen on their own think of it like learning to ride a bike at first it takes a lot of thought but over time you just do it naturally without overthinking thanks for tuning in I truly hope you found some valuable takeaways if you did
feel free to share with your loved ones and if you enjoyed what I'm doing a little comment would make my day wishing you an amazing hour ahead foreign
