My Husband Couldn't Forgive My Past Mistake Because Of A 15-Year-Old Video Tape - Reddit Stories

My husband couldn't forgive my past mistake because of a 15-year-old videotape 10 days ago I discovered that my wife of six years was recorded on camera at a friend's bachelorette party along with two male dancers this event was secretly filmed by another woman at the party using a cell phone later that woman confided in her boyfriend who happened to know me although this guy and I aren't friends we do share some Mutual acquaintances from high school his girlfriend told him not to reveal the video or share it with anyone and they kept it hidden all

these years it's important to note that this guy and I have never been on good terms we've merely crossed paths due to our mutual connections however they broke up some time ago and since then he's been casually showing the video to his friends as a sort of entertaining story it became a recurring Topic at Gatherings meetings or guys as nights out purely for amusement most of the women seen engaging in inappropriate acts in the video were in relationships at the time I can't help but suspect they might have been mocking me and the other guys

although that might just be my own insecurity talking as the story had never reached me or any of my close friends that changed about a month ago when one of our mutual friends had a drink with this guy the conversation Somehow steered toward the story and he began joking about how his ex-girlfriend had recorded a group of girls going wild at a bachelorette party including two dancers getting involved with one of the women who happened to be my girlfriend at the time and now my wife apparently he had trust issues with his girlfriend back then

and kept a close watch on her activities so she recorded everything as proof of her innocence in case he suspected ected her of cheating this led To her involving her friends to demonstrate to her then boyfriend that she was the innocent and virtuous one according to our mutual friend during this incident all the women including the one with the camera went backstage into the dancers dressing room my girlfriend was the only one that went all in not just BJ and flashing she took on both dancers at the same time in their dressing room while her

other friends gave BJs and flashed she was Being plowed by both dancers while the other woman secretly recorded about a month ago my friend became aware of this situation and felt the urge to confide in me however he grappled with this decision because he was well aware of my current happy marriage with her and he shared a close bond with both of us he understood the depth of our love for each other especially considering we have two young daughters together aged three and five 11 days ago on a Friday My friend reached out to me

and expressed a desire to discuss something crucial his tone during the conversation indicated the significance of the matter I believed it was a substantial issue possibly related to some challenges he was facing and he needed someone to talk to over the years our friendship which began in high school had been characterized by Mutual support the following day we arranged to meet at a bar and I noticed he was already there When I arrived his anxious demeanor upon my arrival made it apparent that he was preoccupied with something and I suspected it had to do with

me rather than himself I grew up in a tough neighborhood I'm a big guy standing at 6' 3 in I've had a few run-ins with the law in the past mostly related to my crew activities which gave me a certain reputation however all of that is behind me now among my peers I've always been seen as a natural leader with many guys Looking up to me during my teenage years I used to be quite aggressive and got into numerous fist fights but going to prison a couple of times getting married and having kids have transformed

me it's been over 8 years since I last got into any trouble I'm less aggressive now more composed and mature especially since I have two kids in a stable job as a union electrician I have a long history with one of my friends we go way back to high school I used to protect him from Bullies since he's a year younger than me now at 29 years old and working a decent corporate job our Social Circles didn't overlap much anyway when I took a seat at the bar I could sense that whatever he had to

say was about me judging from his body language it made me quite anxious so I turned to him asked how he was doing and inquired about what was bothering him he replied that what he was about to tell me might seriously affect my relationship with my Wife but that he felt I needed to know he didn't want me to find out years down the line that he knew something but didn't tell me he felt it would be dishonest to keep this from me and at this point I thought he should just go ahead and Spill

the Beans then he dropped the bombshell a few weeks ago while hanging out with some friends one of them showed him a video from about 5 years ago the video depicted my wife involved with two dancers in a dressing Room when I heard this I couldn't believe it I was flooded with with emotions like anger confusion and shame all at once I had the urge to confront him thinking it might be some kind of prank but deep down I knew it was true I distinctly remembered the day my wife mentioned attending a bachelorette party for

one of her friends 5 years ago back then we had been exclusively dating for about 7 months but hadn't moved in together yet my girlfriend came from a Traditional Irish Catholic Family and she was exceptionally beautiful I truly love my wife so my initial reaction was to protect her honor and reputation in the past the old me might have even confronted my friend aggressively for bringing this up maybe that's why the acquaintance didn't inform me earlier knowing I had a history of Rage I inquired if my friend had the video and he claimed it was

on his friend's phone he said he only saw part of it but I Suspected he was lying because usually people don't watch just part of something like that however that detail doesn't matter at this point I realized my friend wouldn't bring me here just to play a cruel joke about my wife's Affair that would be extremely risky with someone like me so I asked him how I could contact the guy with the video and my friend said he could arrange something I inquired if I could have the guy's phone number and my friend stepped Outside

to make a call we went outside together and Upon returning he told me the guy wasn't answering but had sent a text my friend assured me he'd keep me updated once he heard back I initially wanted to leave the bar and immediately call my wife but my friend advised me to take some time to think things through before doing anything rash so I decided to stay at the bar and talk to my friend about my relationship with my wife which had been great up to that point I never Expected her to be involved in something

like this during the first year of Our dating she did show a bit of a Wild Streak but I didn't realize how Wild it was until now after that first year it seemed like she had turned her life around leaving that party phase behind however she does change when she drinks when we started dating she was still in that party phase but that's no excuse because we were in a committed relationship when she attended that Bachelorette party our relationship like any other has had ups and downs her issues with alcohol were a problem at one

point but she got it under control mainly because of our first daughter while I was talking to my friend he received a text from the guy and said he could share his number with me I immediately called him and asked if we could meet so he could give me the video on a flash drive he told me he was out of town and would return next week I Expressed my interest in obtaining a copy of the video and inquired about how much he wanted in exchange for deleting it from his phone or any other storage

I hoped he'd agreed to delete it will ly but he asked for $11,500 this was one of the reasons I never liked him I managed to negotiate it down to $11,000 there seemed to be no reason for him to hold on to this video my wife and his ex-girlfriend were no longer friends And his ex-girlfriend likely wouldn't hold it against him I think he was just being a jerk however I was glad he asked for money because it allowed us to create a legal agreement preventing him from releasing the video to the public leaving me

as the sole owner of the only copy my aim was not only to protect my wife but also my daughters and myself from further embarrassment the thought of a tape of my wife circulating on the internet would be a significant Embarrassment for my family I wanted to control the situation as much as possible before dealing with my wife later from what I've heard the video is too explicit to even contemplate that night I was too intoxicated to drive so I had to take a lift home and leave my car in the bars parking lot when

I got home I could barely walk through the door all I remember is calling my wife at 403 3 a.m. and passing out I wanted to confront her that night but I was too Intoxicated to handle it the next morning I woke up with a hangover on my couch wrapped in a blanket my wife was supposed to go to work that day as far as I can recall but she called in because she was concerned about my unusual behavior and wanted to figure out what was going on she handed me a glass of water as

I sat there and after taking a sip she asked me what was bothering me I glanced at her and all the memories from the previous night Came rushing back I hadn't been this angry with my wife in a long long time and I needed answers the images of her with those two dancers were all I could think about when I looked at her I couldn't even find the words to speak I just started sobbing like a baby I couldn't remember the last time I cried and that was one of the lowest moments in my life

my wife seemed bewildered and she started crying too she wanted to comfort me with a hug but I pushed her Away at this point she was getting frustrated and kept asking me what was happening I finally told her that there was a video out there showing her involved with two dancers at a bachelorette party 5 years ago the look on her face was one of confusion then she began denying it claiming it was fake she insisted that it couldn't be true but I reminded her of which bachelorette party it was and asked if she was

there she admitted being there But vehemently denied cheating on me she said it was all lies but I suggested that perhaps she was intoxicated and couldn't recall what happened she fired back that she would remember if she had been with two guys she asked me to show her the video and I replied that the guy with the video was out of town at this point I really wanted to believe her she seemed genuinely convinced that it wasn't her I thought maybe it was a scam to extort $11,000 from me but that Amount didn't seem worth

a stunt like this I really wanted to see the video to make sure my wife was telling the truth the guy messaged me that he'd be back in town on Tuesday and today is Sunday so I've been quite anxious I can't stop thinking about that video my wife has been acting strangely around the house doing extra things as if she feels guilty she keeps asking if I'm okay all the time making it seem like the crazy one or that I just made up this whole Story who would invent something like this by Monday I couldn't

wait any longer I told the guy that we didn't need to meet right away I could send him $1,000 through cash app and he could download the video using Dropbox he told me he didn't have enough space on his Dropbox and couldn't delete anything to free up room for the video so I suggested he create another Dropbox account which he did by Monday evening I had sent him $11,000 on cash app and he Sent me a link to the video I opened the video and saw a group of women including my wife's friends from back

then cheering with excitement as the dancers performed then I witnessed my wife touching the dancers and their private areas through their clothes the footage switched to the dressing room where my wife and two other women were on their knees preparing the dancers I counted about Five Guys if you catch my drift and then there's another part of the Video where my wife was engaging in axe while still clothed two dancers were taking turns the video was just as explicit as I had feared it looked homemade and poorly done but it was undoubtedly her there was

no mistaking it her voice was unmistakable this private moment that I thought was just between us was actually shared with total strangers it seems like the dancers knew they were being recorded but didn't care I'm not sure if My girlfriend and her friends were aware because they never acknowledged it she wasn't forced into anything in some cases she was actively seeking attention and even taking the initiative she gave it up to a bunch of guys she met that night but the very first time I met her she acted like she wasn't so easy while I

didn't get the sense that she was some sort of pure Mary when we started dating she didn't pretend to be that way because she was a party girl at the time She made me wait for about 2 months before our first intimate encounter now everything I thought I knew about my wife is being called into question in our current relationship her being close with me is a big deal especially after our second daughter was born and here she was enthusiastically engaging in acts with complete strangers without holding anything back I just need to vent because

I always believe there were special moments you share with someone You love and it feels like that belief has burst like a bubble in my face this is seriously affecting my self-esteem and the worst part is that I can't help thinking that I wasn't enough for her back then and I'm not enough for her now nowadays I have a few extra pounds on me but back then I was in good shape I'd like to think I'm a good-look guy but despite that she did this willingly with that guy I'm curious if any of you guys

in relationships have experienced Something like this because it can't have been just me my wife up until I saw this video was almost perfect a great mother to my two girls takes care of me and she's not lazy like most Unfaithful wives I've read about on this site she's completely traditional now although I might not have said that when we first started dating but she's grown into it over time that's what makes it so hard to just walk away from all of this regarding your question about protection They did use it not that it really

matters but they were using protection and she was so into it that she probably wouldn't have noticed if they didn't I remember how adamant she was about using protection the first time we were close and it actually scored her some points in my book back then this whole situation makes me wonder if our relationship all this time has just been a big lie maybe I don't really know who she is perhaps she had other partners I Didn't even know about because she could have sworn on her life that the person in the video wasn't her

before I saw it if I had just heard about the video and hadn't seen it I might have believed her she was that convincing so now I'm wondering what else I'm believing that isn't true when she came back home that evening I connected the video to my TV so she could clearly see it was her I admit I went overboard because I was furious with her I thought she'd show Some remorse or beg for forgiveness but no it was like she had prepared excuses in advance she even claimed that we weren't in an exclusive relationship

at the time and went as far as saying we weren't even in a relationship I fired back even if she was right about us not being exclusive at the time though we both know she's lying how is it normal to have closeness with two men like that the person she portrayed to me and has been acting as ever since we met is not The same as the one I see in the video then she changes her story again claiming that she was drunk and that alcohol caused them to take advantage of her I pointed out

that she was clearly a willing participant and there was no point in the video where she resisted she countered by saying the video was doctored and didn't show the whole picture she also blamed alcohol but she might have been a bit tipsy yet she was fully aware her motor skills were normal And she wasn't slurring her words she kept lying and making excuses I didn't want to argue with her but it felt like she was avoiding full responsibility she was upset with me for bringing this up stating that it shouldn't matter because we were just

friends with benefits back then not in a committed relationship she argued that it's in her past and asked how I'd feel if she held my past against me claiming she accepted me for who I was she questioned why I couldn't do the Same for her we've never had a violent relationship and I had never considered it but the way she was dodging responsibility made me come close I didn't want to wake up my kids and I couldn't stand being around her that night so I decided to leave the house with a few clothes and went

to my co-worker house to cool off because I didn't want to do something I'd regret especially since I was already on probation update I packed some of my Regular and work clothes and went to stay with a single friend who's also a cooworker my wife kept calling me to come back home but I ignored her calls I knew I'd have to face the situation eventually but I was too angry to be around her she sent me texts about how I wasn't willing to forgive her for her past comparing it to how she had forgiven me

for spending almost a year in prison for aggravated assault and being on probation for 10 years which Has held me back in life I didn't go to college but my wife did and she works as a physical therapist still I earn more because I'm a union electrician during the day and take on additional projects usually in the evenings and after work which are quite profitable I felt like our marriage had become a joke and I wasn't sure who she truly was I'm not saying I thought I was marrying a perfect angel when I proposed to

her I knew almost everyone has some Secrets But this one felt like too much I was aware she had a history when we got together but I thought she was just like any other regular party girl I remembered asking her how many guys she had been with and she said five which was obviously a lie because that was after the bachelorette party I knew about three of her previous boyfriends and two short flings she had so who knows how many more I wasn't aware of still a part of me beli that despite Despite all this

we still had a great relationship but Another Part Of Me wondered what other lies she had told me at this point I was deeply confused and my life felt like it was falling apart I couldn't stay with my friend for too long because I had electrical projects to work on and deadlines to meet my house also served as storage and an office for all my equipment so I couldn't hide out at my friend's place indefinitely 2 days later I had to Return home because I still had shared responsibilities as a dad and a contract deadline

to meet the thought of divor or legal separation hadn't even crossed my mind yet I was still trying to process all the information I felt deeply depressed lost my appetite and had a strong need to talk to someone my dad has always been there for me in times of trouble although when I was younger I didn't often heed his advice which got me into a lot of trouble but as I've Gotten older I've learned to listen to him more I decided to call my dad and share my situation with him he was surprised because he

too didn't expect my wife to be that kind of woman although he knew she had a somewhat troubled past much like myself my parents had grown fond of my wife because they believed she brought out the best in me and considered her a positive influence on my life she had a knack for showing them the side of her That she wanted them to see and she was quite good at it most people who knew her wouldn't think she was that kind of person unless perhaps you were one of her close friends my dad has been

married to my mom for 36 years so he has some wisdom about relationships he did mention that things were different back in their day since women women didn't have access to social media which Amplified their interactions with men and their means of seeking validation Beyond their local area nowadays women can attract attention from men all over the world through social media I found out more about this when I checked my wife's social media accounts but I'll talk about that later my dad advised me to return home and be a stable presence in the household especially

for the sake of my kids he suggested that I should listen to my wife in a non-judgmental way to reduce her defensiveness and consider reconciliation if she's willing To put in the effort he emphasized that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and if my wife was able to deceive me who's to say the next woman wouldn't do the same he acknowledged that it would be difficult to forget what had happened and if forgiving her became too challenging I should start considering alternative plans after talking with my dad I felt more motivated to

return home and confront this difficult situation headon when I Returned home to take my daughters to school my wife wanted to have a private conversation with me I told her we could talk later that night and it seemed like she had been crying for a while honestly I didn't feel much sympathy for her because she hadn't admitted to doing anything wrong I received a text from the acquaintance stating that he had deleted his copy of the footage and no longer had it since I couldn't verify this I had to take his word for it I

Also informed him that I would be sending him some legal papers as we had agreed upon that evening my wife was already at home when I returned I was prepared for her to come clean and confess that she had cheated on me essentially admitting that she had lied and presented herself differently at the beginning of our relationship she was sitting on the balcony when I arrived but even looking at her I felt like I was staring at a stranger the image I Had of her before seemed to have shattered I used to think that I

was the only one with a troubled past but at least everyone knows about mine and I'm willing to take responsibility for it when I got home she was on the balcony we usually spent time there painting it was summer and the weather in Massachusetts is usually Pleasant during that time she greeted me when she saw me but I didn't respond I went inside took a shower and changed out of my work Clothes a few minutes later I joined her on the balcony with a beer in my hand we sat there in silence for a few

minutes my plan was to let her speak and see what other lies she might come up with I could tell she was expecting me to start interrogating her but instead I let the awkwardness linger between us she began by apologizing for her infidelity explaining that it happened during a different phase of her life she mentioned that when our relationship had Just started she wasn't sure it would last and she was still in a partying stage where she did things she now regrets she expressed remorse for her actions and claimed that she had been faithful to

me since then I interrupted and asked her why she had been intimate with those men on the same night she met them yet I had waited for months for her to be close with me even though she kept saying she wasn't ready her response was that she wanted our first time together To be special and meaningful unlike her encounter with the dancers which she said didn't mean anything to her this explanation made no sense to me I pointed out that she had been on her knees with them on the first day so why did I

have to wait for a special occasion it felt like she was using closeness as a reward for me while she freely engaged with strangers in an explicit manner in front of her friends I also asked her if there were any other Affairs she had that weren't recorded on tape she insisted there were none but I expressed my disbelief she suggested that I check her phone and social media stating that she was telling the truth I mentioned that if she had enough time to edit her story she had enough time to delete any incriminating evidence from

her phone although I didn't really expect to find anything on her phone I decided to take her up on the offer she gave me access to her passwords for Everything after our conversation while I felt she had admitted to her wrongdoing to some extent I still believed she wasn't revealing everything the seed of Doubt had been planted and I couldn't trust her fully anymore nevertheless I decided to follow my dad's advice and give our relationship another chance that night I couldn't bring myself to sleep in the same bedroom with her so I asked her to

sleep in the guest room the next day I Initially resisted the urge to check my wife's social media because I didn't expect to find anything I figured she must have cleaned everything up if she had something to hide however I couldn't stop thinking about it and I found it difficult to concentrate at work eventually I gave in and logged into her social media accounts reading all her messages I started constantly monitoring her social media and I soon realized how unhealthy this Behavior was while she Wasn't posting explicit content it surprised me how many guys were

messaging her I noticed that she was delet leading these messages to hide them from me because I had notifications set up and when I tried to check a message it would be gone by the time I got to it I thought maybe attractive women typically receive this kind of attention even those who aren't posting anything suggestive most of the men messaging her were from the Middle East And South Asian countries so there wasn't much to worry about in that regard a week later our relationship was still strained although we were at least talking we hadn't

been close since I discovered the affair but my wife was making efforts to reconnect and she was growing tired of my constant reluctance to move past this we had a conversation where she suggested we see a marriage counselor because she couldn't bear my behavior any longer I explained to her That this was not something I could easily let go of just by talking to someone I wasn't sure if our marriage could survive this affair and my obsessive monitoring of her social media and text messages was taking a toll on me so I decided to stop

even though it made me feel worse because it seemed like I couldn't trust her I even began to feel like people were talking behind my back once I was at a local bar with some friends and saw some acquaintances Hanging out with the guy who sold me the video I felt like they were looking at me and then turning away when I noticed them it felt like they were mocking me I thought I might be paranoid but because of the video I couldn't help but feel like everyone was laughing at me behind my back it

was a really disheartening feeling and it left me feeling depressed ashamed and sometimes even angry I felt disrespected and the old me would have confronted them and given them a piece Of my mind these were grown men acting like little kids but I guess some people never really grow up instead of confronting them I decided to leave the bar and head home early it had been two weeks since D-Day and during that time I hadn't been intimate with my wife I was trying to give marriage counseling a shot because I was having a hard time

moving on and getting close to my wife the affair was constantly on my mind my wife scheduled some counseling sessions And we arranged for a babysitter to watch the kids while we attended before our first session I was concerned that the therapist might blame me for everything as I had seen mentioned on this site however that wasn't the case the therapist addressed my wife in a polite but direct manner I won't go into all the details but it felt like a thorough examination to get my wife to be completely honest and rebuild my trust more

truths came out and my wife's Reactions made me think there might be more incidents like that although we might never know the full extent I didn't feel like my wife was telling the whole truth and the therapist seemed to share my doubts the therapist encouraged us to work on reconciliation and provided us with techniques to rebuild trust however I wasn't convinced that reconciliation would work because my wife seemed to want to control what I knew after our third counseling session It seemed like my wife was losing interest because she felt like she was constantly under

attack I was learning things about her that I had no idea about and a side of her personality emerged during the sessions that she wasn't comfortable with she even tried to persuade me to switch to another therapist but I declined she started making excuses like showing up late and claiming she was too busy busy with work to prevent us from attending sometimes She would call ahead of time to cancel without letting me know all of this led me to believe that she wasn't making a genuine effort to take responsibility for her actions this was about

6 weeks after I found out about the affair update I finally talked to that friend who told me about the video involving my wife I asked if he knew how many people were aware of it he said he was actually one of the last to find out among his friends many people we went to high School with and most of his friends already knew about it he mentioned that he stumbled upon it by accident I also asked him about the guys who were making fun of me the other day and it turns out they knew

about it too so I wasn't imagining things it felt like most of the guys I encountered in our town knew about the video and I was the last to find out that was really embarrassing for me when I got home I shared with my wife how much it bothered me that so Many people had seen the video and there was a chance it might still be out there she suggested that we should move away from the area and she was willing to change her job it seemed like she had been thinking about moving even before

I found out about the video I just had a hunch it appears she might have been ahead of me in knowing about the rumors regarding the video and there's a possibility she knew about it before I did I thought it might be a good idea to Reach out to some of the friends who were in the video some of them are no longer friends with my wife and some are still friends but might not be honest with me since they'd want to protect her others who weren't her friends have moved away I tried messaging them

on Facebook but none of them have responded yet update it's been 3 months since dday and I ended up being intimate with my wife she had been deliberately trying to seduce me around the house and one night I gave in it was more about desire and frustration than love unlike before for the first time since I found out about the video she stayed in the master bedroom the following night she tried to initiate closeness again but I wasn't interested I usually don't refuse closeness with my wife so she got frustrated she was willing to do

things in the bedroom I used to beg her for but I just wasn't into it she attempted to cuddle with me but it felt suffocating I Endured it for one more night then I couldn't take it anymore so I started sleeping on the couch because I couldn't sleep otherwise the next day she said she hated seeing me suffer like this over nothing and suggested giving me a hall pass for a year but I explained that this wouldn't change the fact that she wasn't the person I thought she was being intimate with other women meant nothing

to me I wanted something more meaningful with someone I loved but I Didn't feel like I could get that from her anymore about 4 months in I called my dad dad and told him I didn't think I could forgive my wife and that I was considering legally separating from her my dad suggested I move to another place for a couple of months thinking that sometime apart might help when I got home that day I told my wife I'd be looking for another apartment close by so I could still see the kids as often as before

she pleaded with me but my Mind was already made up update a week later I signed a month-to-month lease for a furnished studio apartment near my house all this time I've been having doubts about the whole separation idea I didn't want to move away from my kids or leave my wife I really tried to stay but I felt like a temporary break from my wife would be good for my mental health my intention wasn't to move out permanently but to take some time for myself plus I still have keys to my House where I keep

my work tools and equipment the night before I moved to my apartment I had a serious argument with my wife she got really upset with me claiming she's given me space throughout this whole process she thought I was acting completely irrational she said I've gone mad for leaving them over something that happened when she wasn't even sure we were in a relationship I told her we've discussed this before and I believe there are still things she's Not telling me I need some time to collect myself she asked how long we'd be separated and I said

I'd give it 2 months since most of my things are still at the house we agreed to work toward reconciliation after moving into my studio apartment I felt more at ease the first day was tough because my wife was really upset with me she even told our 5-year-old daughter that I'd abandoned them who says that to a 5-year-old when I came to take my 5-year-old to Kindergarten and my 2-year-old to daycare my daughter told me that Mom was crying when she asked her what was going on she said that Daddy had abandoned them I told

my daughter that I hadn't abandoned them because I'm still here taking them to school after I dropped my daughter's off at school I called my wife and told her she should feel bad about herself for trying to manipulate our kids by telling them lies about me I asked her not to involve them in this Situation she refused to admit any wrongdoing insisting that she wouldn't lie for me because in her view I abandoned them I reminded her that the only real change was that I no longer live with them but I've still been fulfilling all

my responsibilities as a father the next day I took my kids to school in daycare and they seemed happy after dropping them off I went to work after work I headed straight to my clients job site To finish up some extra projects then I went home to rest it was pretty much the same routine every day I tried to avoid socializing too much because I didn't want to meet people who had seen that embarrassing video of my wife or face ridic again so I kept to myself my wife and I talked about relocating when we

reconcile but for now I was just too busy I didn't see my wife for the rest of the week but we talked on the phone regularly our conversations mainly Revolved around coordinating our kids activities and sometimes she even dropped off food at my apartment it was a stress-free week with no arguments no kids crying or making demands it felt like a partial vacation I even thought that once this experience was over I might move back into my house I planned to take some time away from My Wife and Kids to clear my head some of

my friends go on week-long hunting trips every season in places like Montana and Arkansas there's one coming up next month and I've been invited I've put it off before because my wife always found a reason why I shouldn't go and I usually agreed the prices can be steep but my buddy secured a group discount for us the hunting trip was still a month away but I've already purchased my ticket we'll be traveling in my buddy's RV and it promises to be a lot of fun it's something to look forward to during these challenging times the

next couple Of weeks followed a similar routine however in the middle of one week my wife called me because the dishwasher had broken down and she asked me to come and fix it when I arrived at the house to repair the dishwasher I was surprised the living room looked completely different the only times I visited the house were to pick up my kids in the driveway and grab my tools for side jobs my tools are stored in the basement and I usually use the basement entrance Without entering the main living area while fixing the dishwasher

I noticed that my wife had redecorated the living room she had changed the curtains and bought a new couch I asked her what was going on and she explained that she wanted to make some changes after fixing the dishwasher I took the opportunity to get some things from the master bedroom and noticed that my wife had purchased many new outfits when we talked about it she mentioned that she had started going To the gym to get in better shape and work on self-improvement I admit feeling a bit envious that she was making all these efforts

to better herself and I wondered if all these Renovations were her way of moving on for me I kept doubting whether leaving the house was the right decision even though I knew it was for my peace of mind after about 2 weeks as the weather got colder my wife informed me that there was an issue with the furnace I came over to fix it and Notice more changes to the house I hadn't seen my wife up close since I repaired the dishwasher when I saw her waiting in the driveway with my daughters she was always

in baggy pajamas so I couldn't tell she had lost some weight I mentioned it and she explained it was her self-improvement month we talked and I got the feeling she wasn't as interested in me moving back why would she be she still sees me as the handyman I'm taking care of the Kids and contributing financially I'm still paying my share of the mortgage and she gets the benefits of having a man around without having to cook or be intimate with me it's like she's enjoying the Best of Both Worlds I informed my wife about the

upcoming hunting trip to Montana expecting her to object or raise concerns like it's dangerous or expensive but she didn't object ask questions or show any resistance she was surprisingly easy to Talk to and that made me uneasy I thought maybe she had moved on and didn't care if I returned or not that's the vibe I got from her 2 weeks later I went on the hunting trip with my friends returned a week later and picked up my daughters for school that Monday as I pulled into the driveway and opened the car door for my daughters

they seemed thrilled to see me however my 5-year-old asked if they were getting a new daddy which struck me as a strange question I Reassured her that I wasn't going anywhere and asked why she thought they were getting a new daddy she said there was a guy who stayed at the house while I was away I initially thought my daughter might have mistaken the man for my brother-in-law who used to stay with us however my daughter knows my brother-in-law well enough not to confuse him with someone else I even asked her if she meant uncle

jimie but she insisted that the man's name was Jacob a name I'd never heard before I couldn't access my wife's social media or texts because she changed her passwords when I moved out the name Jacob consumed my thoughts for the rest of the day as I tried to recall if my wife had never mentioned him before before my hunting trip I noticed my wife was no longer enthusiastic about reconciling she just wanted me to be there and fix things I began to assume the worst case scenario that what my Daughter said was true and there

was a man named Jacob involved with my wife romantically I thought that if I acted unsure about Jacob it would allow my wife to deny any knowledge of him similar to her denials on the footage where she tried to deny anything was happening and gaslighted me so I decided to visit her that evening while my kids were asleep I wanted to surprise her by showing up unannounced but she didn't seem surprised perhaps because she Expected me due to my recent outof Town trips our relationship remained cordial although I sense that the idea of reconciliation was

losing momentum we still operated under the impression that we should reconcile I had the keys to the house so I let myself in when she saw me she asked if I was hungry but I declined expressing my desire to talk we sat in the living room and I confronted her straight away about what I knew regarding Jacob and why she was having An affair when we had agreed to work on reconciliation I observed her body language closely to gauge her reaction she ran her fingers through her hair nervously a sign that she knew she had

been caught swiftly she lifted her head and explained that Jacob was a coworker they had a close working relationship and since I wasn't around she had called him for help with household chores I pressed her further asking if this help extended to sharing our bedroom she gave Me a strange look and in a raised voice I demanded an answer she admitted that they had slept together twice claiming there was nothing more I didn't buy her story about just two times I knew there was much more to it I asked her how long this relationship had

been going on and she initially tried to deflect by saying that if I hadn't left her and the kids this wouldn't have happened I sensed she was avoiding the question so I raised my voice again insisting she answer that's When she confessed they'd been emotionally involved for over a year and it had recently become physical I reminded her that I had suspected something was a Miss back when we were in marriage counseling which was why she wanted to stop it the therapist had seen through her lies and wanted her to come clean in hindsight I

realized that I may have been deceived all along I should have recognized that our relationship was built on a shaky Foundation as I Didn't truly know who she was I wonder how long their Affair has been going on I've read enough about infidelity to understand that a woman who had multiple encounters at a bachelorette party wouldn't be content with a simple ordinary relationship like ours I couldn't believe her claim that the physical Affair only occurred during my ab and because I was away I sense there was more to the story I asked her how she

Thought we could proceed with reconciliation if she had been involved with this guy for who knows how many years she didn't correct me indicating that it was clearly more than the two times she admitted she confessed uncertainty about her feelings for him when I calmly asked if she loved him I saw a brief hesitation in her demeanor I stood up from the couch and told her it was time to stop playing games I pointed out that a woman who had closeness with Two dancers and engaged in such Behavior in front of friends wouldn't have done

it just once I expressed my relief that she was happy with this guy and stated that I now had valid reasons for legal separation I acknowledged that we had a good run with our two beautiful daughters and suggested that it was time to call a quits I used to wonder if I made the right decision by moving out but now I'm certain I did the right thing by giving her the chance to make Her mistakes if I had accepted her lies and gaslighting all these years I might have lived my life in ignorance I owe

some credit to the marriage therapist for opening my eyes even though she didn't explicitly say my wife was lying I was sharp enough to read between the lines of her questions and understand her perspective it was like one dishonest person recognizing another and I was just a Learner in their midst at that moment I realized my wife was Skilled at covering her tracks I still had a feeling there was more to the story and I suspected she was withholding something when I got up from the couch to leave she told me she still loved me

but I ignored her and walked away I went home that day upset because I knew I wouldn't be able to see my kids as often as I'd like I understood there was no turning back from this but at the same time I felt a strange sense of relief because I had been proven right And her true colors as a cheater had been revealed it's Eerie how accurate that quote about cheaters holds I'm not a religious person but I slept well that night feeling like the universe was on my side throughout this experience it seemed like

everything fell into play systematically to unveil the lie I had been living just think if my friend hadn't told me about the video all these events over over the past few months wouldn't have occurred to open my eyes To the reality of who I've been living with for the past 6 years I called my dad the next day to share everything I had just discovered and he reassured me that I handled things well he told me not to blame myself because it wasn't my fault and that everything happens for a reason bringing what was hidden

into the open right now my primary concern is the safety of my daughters I need to know who the man my wife has introduced to them is you've probably heard about Individuals who date single moms with daughters for harmful reasons and I wouldn't forgive myself if something like that happened to my kids the next day I picked up my children from school as usual my wife called me to discuss our situation and mentioned she still wanted to reconcile with me promising to cut off contact with the other man I reminded her that she'd been in

a relationship with him for years so that wasn't the main issue anymore for the First time she challenged my belief that their relationship had been ongoing for years claiming it only became physical recently when I abandoned her and the children I saw this as an obvious attempt to deflect the blame and I wasn't buying it I pointed out that while we were supposed to be working on reconciliation she had engaged in a physical relationship and even invited the man into our marital home instead of seeking Revenge I believe the right Thing to do now was

to get a divorce and focus on our daughters because she had already given up on our relationship a long time ago she responded by blaming me for giving up when I left home and I hung up the phone to avoid arguing with her despite her beauty I knew she wouldn't struggle to find another man possibly even better than me I hoped she would find someone better for the sake of my daughter as the worst case scenario would be if she were having Encounters with random men in my house putting my daughters in danger the next

day I reached out to one of her co-workers who had worked with my wife for 2 years at the hospital as well as at her previous job I called her unexpectedly and explained that I had recently suffered a work-related injury and needed a male physical therapist I mentioned that my wife had recommended someone named Jacob and asked if she knew anything about him I framed it this Way because I knew she was knowledgeable about the workplace she replied that she didn't know any Jacob and the only Jacob she was aware of had been one of

my wife's former clients at their previous job I thanked her and ended the call I realized that my question to her had been somewhat deceptive and she might eventually ask my wife about it so I decided to confront my wife about her obvious lie regarding Jacob being her coworker I couldn't wait to discuss this With her in person moreover there was no telling when her coworker might call her and inform her about the strange call she received from me her husband therefore I acted promptly by calling my wife to address the issue I asked her

why she had lied to me about the identity of her Affair partner pointing out that Jacob had been her client for more than two years and she had lied about it I told her it was my right to know that she wasn't bringing home Strangers and potential dangers to our daughters she responded by saying that Jacob wasn't a dangerous person he was a widower and a businessman who owns several hotels in the area she claimed he was a clean and trustworthy person she had known for years and he had been her client when his wife

tra tragically passed away she mentioned that they had good chemistry but couldn't pursue anything due to her marriage however when I left them she decided to give it A try interestingly she kept trying to shift the blame onto me while also admitting her own fault in the same sentence after my call with my wife's coworker I strongly suspected that my wife had been involved in a physical relationship with one of her wealthier former clients for well over 2 years or possibly more I decided to do a background check on him and thankfully he doesn't seem

to have a history of criminal activity I'd be honest if I Didn't admit feeling a bit envious because this man was more successful than me however I also realized the importance of uncovering the truth about my wife continuing her secretive Affairs after The Bachelorette incident it was crucial for me to start fresh some of you might suggest a DNA test for my daughters but I don't think it's necessary because they resemble me to keep it short two months later we got a divorce and I sold the house splitting The proceeds my wife moved in with

her Affair partner who owns multiple properties although his main residence is 50 m away I too relocated to another city for a new beginning I found a better paying job and rented a condo with enough space to store my work equipment despite the challenges of adapting to a new area and securing contracts I welcom the opportunity although I miss taking my kids to daycare every day we share custody of my Daughters and I get to see them every other week life after divorce isn't as bad as I thought and the custody arrangement provides me with

time to pursue my hobbies I haven't ventured into dating as I've been quite focused on work and I don't foresee entering a long-term relationship anytime soon