Priscilla Shirer: Hold on to Faith When Life Breaks Your Heart

[Applause] [Music] Amen. Amen. Amen.

I want to tell you how uh privileged I always am when I have the treat of being a part of whatever Gateway Church is doing. But this gathering on this occasion with all of us together in this room like this, I remember the days where we were hopping in buildings from one location to another for Pink Impact. And here we are in this room.

And I don't know if you have like me sensed how special this day has actually been. Like you know, you would think that the speakers get together and discuss with each other what it is that we're going to speak about so that we can connect dots and so that we can make sure that we are all on the same page. But really, we don't do that.

We just trust the Holy Spirit to do that. And I don't know if you have detected like I have the thread of God's spirit speaking to us today. Listen, if you've not heard the voice of God, you ain't been in this room with us cuz God's speaking up in here and I have ears to hear.

I want you to know that last night I laid uh in bed. My husband can attest to this, Jerry, that's over off to the side over here. I laid in bed thinking about you last night, just talking to the Lord about what I wanted to share with you.

I had a few thoughts in mind. I could speak on one of those messages that I kind of had prepared. There's nothing like standing in front of 9,000 people and you're not prepared.

so I could share with you something that I prepared. But last night while I laid in bed, there were some other thoughts that I just started to jot down in my little journal quiet time thing. So, I wrote some thoughts on this page and on this page.

And when I heard Charlotte share what she shared with you today, I did not know last night, but I think this is what the Lord wants to say to us. So, I'm going to pray over these notes. And then I'm going to ask him to use these to speak to maybe the one person in this room.

And this is for you, Lord Jesus. I am asking you to put an exclamation point on this afternoon. I'm asking you to seal in somebody's heart your love, your grace, your care, your kindness for them.

And Lord, I'm asking that these little words scribbled on this page last night that Lord, if this is for somebody in this room that you would encourage them, that you would call them to victory. Lord, that you would speak to them in their language, in the very personal way that that they and that me and that all of us need to hear your voice. Lord, we have heard so many incredible things.

We've worshiped you. We've rolled out the red carpet for your presence. And so, so Lord, I am asking that you would put a big old exclamation point on this day that you would seal your word in our hearts in Jesus name.

Amen. Uh my boy, I have three sons. I have Jackson, who is my 13-year-old, Jerry Jr.

, who's 11, and then Jude. Uh Jude is my seven-year-old, and Jude and I were sitting next to each other on an airplane. And as we were sitting next to each other on this airplane, I don't remember exactly where it is that we were flying to, but I remember that we were sitting toward the the middle of the airplane because he was looking out over the window uh through the window and we were sitting right over the wing of the plane.

So he's looking at the wing of the plane and he was just glancing out at it until he looked back at me eventually and he said, "Mom, how do they get that thing on this plane? How do they connect the wing to the plane? " And I said, "Babe, I have no idea how they get that wing on the plane, but you can ask your uncle Vaughn.

" Jerry's brother Vaughn, their uncle, works in the airline industry. He works to connect uh the different parts and the veins and the wiring of airplane uh aircraft aircrafts. And so I and so I I said to him, you could ask him because your uncle Von can probably tell you how that wing got on this airplane.

And in that little moment I thought this is actually kind of a teachable moment because I said to him, you know, your uncle Von knows lots of things about airplane and do you airplanes and do you know that you can actually do anything you want to do when you grow up? If you want to put together aircraft like your uncle Von does, you can do that. You can be anything you want to be.

Sweet little Jude, my seven-year-old. And if you want to do that, you should talk to Uncle Von about it. He can tell you all the cool things about putting airplanes together.

And he looked back up at me and he said, "But mom, when I grow up, I don't want to do what Uncle Von does. I want to do what you do. " Yeah.

I was I was impressed at first, too, until I looked down at my son and I said, "So, babe, what do you want to do? " What mom does. I didn't know exactly what his answer would be.

I didn't know if it'd be maybe be writing or telling people about Jesus or what aspect of our life it would be, but he looked back at me and he said, "Mom, I want to do nothing. You do nothing all day, every day. Nothing.

That's what I want to [Laughter] do. I said, "Babe, you know what? " I said, "Babe, you know, like every now and then there might be a little book that's written or a Bible study or every now and then, you know, there might, you know, there might like that little film that we did.

There are little things that are happening. What do you think mom is doing when she's sitting behind the computer or you're doing nothing? You just relax all day every day.

" It was just a couple days after that conversation with my boy that I got a call from my publisher. I'm only sharing this with you. I hope you all know me.

I hope well enough to know that I don't say this in any prideful way just to make a point to you. But it was just a couple days later that my publisher called me to tell me something I did not know. I didn't know that that Fervent, a book on prayer, had been on the New York Times bestseller list.

It was something I didn't know until she emailed me two days after that conversation with my boy. And in that moment, I opened up that email and I saw this news about about this book being on the New York Times bestseller list. I thought to myself that while I was doing what to my son looked like nothing, that book was getting written.

And last night I thought how often it is that I think God is doing nothing. That while I'm circling and circling and circling and circling, I feel like he has forgotten that I'm there. That I don't feel like he is hearing my prayer.

That I don't feel like he is on my side. That I've forgotten that he is for me. That he is not against me.

I have forgotten that there is no weapon that is formed against me that will ever be able to prosper. I feel like he is doing absolutely nothing. But it's while I feel like my God is doing nothing that in that moment, he is crafting something brand new that is going to be a masterpiece, a story he's going to tell with the chapters of my life.

Sometimes it's hard to handle the feeling that God isn't doing anything. And I was thinking about all of you while Charlotte was talking about that circle and how being in that circle can show enough be hard, can't it? When we feel like we are on our own, like we are circling whatever intimidating mountain is in front of us and we wonder if God has forgotten that we are there.

And I was reminded of John in Matthew chap 11. I want to just read this to you. the first several verses, John the Baptist.

Now, when John in prison heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and he said, "Are you the expected one or should I look for somebody else? " Y'all, this is John the Baptist. This is the one who had previously recognized Jesus and had said, "This is the one whose sandals I'm not even worthy to untie.

" This is John the Baptist who when Jesus had come to him wanting to be baptized, John had recoiled at the idea because this was the savior of the world. This was the lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world. He knew that he was the forerunner for Jesus the Christ.

But but in Matthew chapter 11, we see that guy who had been so sure of his faith. We see him sitting in a prison on the cold hard floors staring through the bars of circumstances that he never thought that he would be in. And I'm thinking about how many people would be in a room like this.

And right now you are sitting in circumstances or circling around them and you never in a million years would have thought your life would have turned out like this. And honestly, you want to voice a question that many of us are not brave enough to voice. But John the Baptist voices that that question for us.

Are you who you say you are? Can you really do what you say you can do? Several days ago, I went to go see a friend of mine.

That visit is what kind of began to stir these thoughts last night. She lives east of town about an hour and a half or so. So I got in the house in the car, drove toward Tyler, Texas from here so that I could go visit my friend Lauriana.

Lauriana's life has changed in an instant. About a month ago, her husband, who she's been married to for about 20 years or so, they have a business, a thriving business together out in the Canton area. And uh they have built a life together.

Not only with their business that again is a thriving business that people come from all around to um be beneficiaries of what they do, but they've built a beautiful life together, a little farmhouse that they built from scratch. Um uh taking years, actually years to find, this is what they love to do, find architectural salvage to put in the right places and to hang every single chandelier. They didn't want to use a lot of contractors.

They literally use their own hands to build this business and build this home and create a sweet life for themselves out in the country. And she said to me, Priscilla, here we are at 60 years old, pretty young, 60 years old. She said, "We were just getting to the good part, the good part of sitting back and sort of enjoying the fruit of all of our labor.

" But a month ago, as Willie, her husband was taking on one of those projects, those many projects that he would do in their business, the handy uh projects that would be necessary to hang those chandeliers and find that architectural salvage and make things beautiful. Uh he was using a a chainsaw to cut through a branch of a tree when one of those limbs came back and and smacked him in his forehead. He he had a concussion.

He got a little a fracture in his skull. And fractures in your skull heal like fractures in your ribs. It just takes time.

The doctor can't do much about it other than to tell you just to rest for a little while. And so that's what Willie was doing. I have some some voicemails from him literally right now on my telephone.

He and I had just been talking over the last couple of weeks, Willie and I. He sent me a picture of himself in the hospital. Couldn't believe he had hurt himself.

And he was doing well on the road to recovery four weeks ago. But he's he's had over the last four weeks lots of headaches and he's had a little trouble with his blurred vision and he's struggled a little bit. Loriana has noticed that his um anxiety level is higher than normal that he's normally just a happy go-lucky guy, but he seemed a little depressed and a there have been outbursts of anger that just have not made any sense.

And I don't know if any of you got to see that movie that Will Smith was in last year called Concussion, where sometimes after a concussion, there is a traumatic brain injury that causes someone to spike down into a depression in an instant that is so severe that suicidal thoughts overtake them. And last Monday night, this happy, golucky, healthy guy went and took his life. And so I drove to East Texas and I sat with Laurian as this tragedy, this unexpected circumstance like John the Baptist where you find yourself sitting in a place that you never expected in an instant.

And I know in a room this size, there are so many of us that have found ourselves in circumstances that are not what we planned for. that we could not have in a million years thought that we would end up right here with a spouse that is lost with a child that we've lost. I'm thinking about sweet Jan that just stood up on this platform just a few moments ago to pray over us even though it is her body that is riddled with cancer.

This is not a place she expected to be. The last time she beat cancer, we were supposed to be done with this. But here she stands in a place that she did not expect to be in a group this size.

I know there are so many of you that right now are in circumstances just like John the Baptist where you're sitting in a prison cell of your own where you are circling around a mountain that is so intimidating to you. And what makes it worse is that just like John the Baptist, not only are you where you never expected that you would be, but it says that while he was in prison, he was hearing of the works of Christ elsewhere. Somehow through the grave vine, news was getting back to John the Baptist of this Jesus the Christ that was healing people, that was causing the blind to see this Jesus the Christ that was causing the lame to walk and the dead to be raised.

Miracles were taking place all around, but John's circumstances were not changing. It's bad enough to be in prison. It's worse to be in prison.

And you're hearing about what Jesus is doing for everybody else. And if the truth be told, there are a lot of us in this room. And honestly, we are discouraged.

We are frustrated. We are disappointed. We have been encouraged in our faith because Charlotte has just told us how to circle that mountain.

But if the truth be told, there are many of us in this room, just like Loriana, that are saying, "Are you the expected one? Or have I placed all my eggs in the wrong basket? " John the Baptist hadn't done anything wrong.

John the Baptist, in fact, had been doing everything right, y'all. He'd been preaching and teaching. He'd been rolling out the red carpet for Jesus.

He was actually in prison for doing the right thing. That's how he ended up in that circumstance in the right place in in the in the first place. And you may not have been the perfect wife, but to the best of your abilities, you've been the wife that God has called you to be.

And yet here you sit in this marriage that is so uh desperately in need of revival and resurrection, and you can't figure out how you got there. You weren't a perfect mother, but you were the best mother that you thought you could be. But still, your young adult child is now living a weward, rebellious lifestyle that is in no way congruent with the way you raised them.

And you're trying to figure out how you got here. You aren't perfect, but to the best of your abilities, you are being the grandmother or the career woman or the single woman that God has called you to be. And yet here you sit in circumstances that are not what you prefer.

And John the Baptist is brave enough to voice what many of us want to. Are you the expected one or have I wasted my time? I want to encourage somebody today.

I want to encourage the one of you that has sat through this entire day and you know that tucked within the recesses of your heart because listen y'all, I don't know if you've ever sat with somebody in as raw of a situation as I sat with Lauriana. A couple days ago, I don't know if you've watched tears fall from somebody's eyes in so much desperation that they cannot talk. And that like Loriana said to me, I can't even pray.

She said, "I can't find the words to pray. I have literally been texting Loranna recently over the last hours and days. I have been texting her prayers because I've just said to her, you just read this right off the page.

Have you ever sat with someone who has lost not the first miscarriage, not the second, not the third, the fourth baby that they have lost and they are trying to figure out are you who you say you are? I'm thinking of my friend Sharon who husband has just decided he don't want to be married anymore after 25 or 30 years of marriage. And I wonder if you've ever sat with someone whose emotion is so raw because at this season in her life, this is just not where she thought she'd be.

And maybe you're the one that honestly you can't even pray anymore because you can't find the words to say. What I want to encourage you about is just two things as I pray God will just put an exclamation point on what he wants to do in our lives over the course of this morning and this afternoon. Of course, there's still the evening session as well, but I'm asking God to just seal this in your lives by telling you just a couple things that when John the Baptist asks the question, are you the expected one or should I look for somebody else?

What I want to tell you is that Jesus did not send back a a a rebuke. He did not send back a response of offense. He was not mad at John's frailty.

That if you've wavered just a bit, if you've wondered, if you've asked questions, you need to know that our God is not mad at you. You need to know that our God sees you. He knows where you are.

He knows where I am. He sees every single tear that falls from our eyes. And I want you to know that not one of those tears has been lost in the carpet fibers of your bedroom floor.

Every single one of them have been captured in the palm of Almighty God. As you circle around Jericho, would you know that your God sees? He sees every single step that you're taking.

He sees every single single time you take a couple steps back. He sees every single time you have asked the question that you've wondered, God, have I put my eggs in the wrong basket? Are you really who you say you are?

And I want to tell anybody who can be as honest as John the Baptist and say, "My circles actually haven't been clean and clear that I've wavered in my faith sometimes, anybody that's brave enough to do that, like John the Baptist. " What I want to tell you is that Jesus heard John's question and he was not mad at him for asking the question. And if you've wondered if God is mad at you, I came to tell you from the south of town, he's not.

I came to tell you that it's okay. I came to tell you that sometimes our faith is best built in the gymnasium of obscurity. That sometimes when we don't quite see God the way we want to see him or in the light that we desire to see him.

And sometimes when we ask questions that that is the way our faith becomes stronger and more sure that the woman you're going to be 10 years from now is going to be strengthened and reshaped. The woman I pray that I am 5 years from now was going to be completely different because of the struggle that I went through in my faith in this season of my life. That it is the wrestling that strengthens us.

And what I love about this passage of scripture with John the Baptist asking that question that honestly could have been offensive to Jesus, but Jesus not rebuking him, what I love about this question is that it shows the humanity and the frailty of a man who's going through some stuff. Anybody ever just gone through some stuff? And in a group this size and all the people that are watching uh during this simal cast, I know that there are some people right now you going through some stuff.

And listen, if you're not going through some stuff right now, we want you to know we are happy for you. [Applause] But for anybody who's struggling, for anybody whose faith is wavering just a little bit, I want you to know that God hears every question that you're asking, all of the ponderings of your heart, anything that others around you may have made you feel guilty for asking. What I love about this, y'all, is that God gives John so much grace to wrestle through his faith.

It's that Jesus doesn't rebuke him. He gives him all the margin he needs to ask whatever questions he needs to ask. Because although Jesus has not changed, he is still who he always was yesterday, today, and forever more.

John's reality has changed. Jesus doesn't. The reality of our lives does.

And so when your reality changes like Lorian's has, like our sweet Jan has, when your reality changes and there are new questions to ask in that new circumstance, you need to know that your God loves you enough to give you margin and grace to ask the questions that you need in that season of your life. Oh, if the people of God, the church, would give each other as much grace as Jesus gives to us. There is only one who has ever been able to say, "He who is without sin cast the first stone.

" There's only one who's ever had the right to cast the stone, and he chose not to do it. And yet, we have so little grace for a brother or a sister in Christ who honestly is just wrestling. Not because he's changed, but because their circumstances have changed.

And I say to you that if you know someone, if you've got a dear friend in your life, if you've got a Lauriana who just needs a friend, I'm saying don't don't scold that person because they're struggling. You give them the same grace Jesus does. while they figure out what it means to keep their mouth closed while they're walking around that mountain.

If they slip up in the building of their faith, if they question, if they have wonderings and ponderings about whether what they've read and what they've heard preached in church, whether or not it's really true as they struggle through that, would you just let them? Habach, he asked questions. Habach looked around him and said, "God, you have got to be kidding me.

He said, ' Do you see the the havoc that is being wreaked in our culture? Do you see the violence all around? And and he wondered how long, God, are you going to let this happen?

Job Job had a few questions. He wondered why in the world the Lord would allow so much damage and so much devastation to come to his life. And Gideon had a few questions.

the Midianite army continuing to ravage them year after year after year after year. And Gideon said to him, "How long are you just going to sit back and let this happen? If you're really who you say you are, you could change all this in an instant.

" All of these people and more in the scriptures had questions. God heard the questions and did not rebuke them for asking. And I just wanted to encourage somebody today that if you're asking the question, you keep on asking because your God hears you and he will give you an answer.

Y'all, life is hard. Stuff happens and we have questions sometimes that that cause us to have to wrestle through our faith. And our faith is strengthened and it is encouraged through the wrestle.

I wrote down here that God equals an ocean. Do you know the ocean is vast and big and huge, monstrous? I just saw on Twitter, I follow Google Facts and I just saw literally in the last couple of hours one of the the the random Google facts that they just tweeted through was that there are species um more than can be counted species in the depths of the ocean that marine biologists still to this day with all of modern technology cannot get to all the species within the oceans.

that they haven't gotten to the depths, that they haven't gotten to the full vast broadness of the ocean. They'll never know everything that is to be known. Even with all the advances in modern technology, they will never know all that is to be known about about the ocean.

It's just too big and it's too vast. But even with all that information that they don't know, and so we don't know. What we do know is that when we go on vacation to the beach and we walk up to that body of water, what we do know when we put our foot into it is that it's wet.

What we do know for sure is that when we stand in the current, that tide comes rolling in and it pushes us back because it's so strong. What we do know is that the ocean is powerful. When a bit of it gets into our mouth and so we taste that salt on our tongue, what we do know is that it's it's salty.

We can't figure out the depths. We can't figure out all of the mysteries that are within it. But what we do know is that it's wet and it's powerful and that it's salty.

That's the same thing about God. That we will never know the fullness and the vastness and all the mysteries that there are to know about our God. But what we can know when we put our foot in him is that we can taste and see that he is good.

What we can know is that he is kind. What we can know is that he has a plan for us. It is a plan to prosper us and not to harm us.

So we may not know the fullness of him. We may have to wrestle and struggle as we continue to get to know the depths of him. But we can know that our God always has our best interest in mind.

That he will never ever leave us nor will he forsake us. And so he lets us struggle in his grace and his mercy. He lets us ask questions that need to be asked.

and he gives us the mercy, the grace, the margin, the room for growth and struggle. And I just want to encourage somebody to ask the questions you need to and that the Lord will allow you the opportunity to do that. The second thing I wanted to share with you is that Jesus response to John the Baptist is this.

He says to the disciples, "Go and report to John what you have seen and what you have heard. " Jesus could have written a letter. He didn't do that.

Jesus could have gone to John the Baptist himself to tell him the answer to his question. He didn't do that. Jesus sent some representatives to build John's faith.

He sent some disciples who had heard Jesus's preaching and teaching, who had seen Jesus cause blind eyes to see and deaf ears to hear and the lame to walk and the dead being raised. He said, "I want y'all whose faith is strong to go over and tell the one who is wavering just a little bit, who's in the midst of the struggle as his current circumstances are not what he expected and anticipated. Devastating actually.

I want you to go and be a witness. share your testimony of what it is you have seen me do. And when you share the testimony, you will see that that answers the question that that individual has been asking.

And so I thought today in a room this size, what someone who has lost the child or lost the spouse, what someone who has had the toughest year of marriage that they could fathom with someone who has had a valley year with your finances or your business and honestly you're wondering if you will ever recover. for someone who right now like John is sitting in circumstances where there are little whispers in your heart wondering if your God can do the miracles for you you've heard talked about in this room or whether the the scripture stories that you've heard taught and preached at your local church or in Bible study. You are wondering if that God really can do it for you.

I wonder if the reason why he's allowed all of us to be in this atmosphere of faith on this day is because he has sent some disciples to answer the question that you've been asking. Because there's a room full of women who have a testimony of how great their God really is. And I just wonder if the answers to the question you're you've been asking is going to come in the form of the woman who is sitting right next to you.

And so I wonder if you are in this room and you have ever had a struggle in your marriage that was so desperate that you never thought the two of you would ever be able to recover. You thought that for sure the two of you were headed for divorce court. But you are here in this room today with a testimony of God's miracle working power in marriage.

You have seen him snatch the two of you back from the brink of divorce court. I just wonder if there's a disciple in the room who the Lord might have sent today to be a living, breathing testimony to someone who right now is so discouraged wondering if their marriage can make it. If you have that testimony in this room, would you please stand to your feet and be the living visible illustration of what God can do in marriage?

[Applause] You stay standing. Stay standing. I want to ask if you are in this room and you have ever been shackled to an addiction that you never thought you would ever be free from.

You never thought you'd be able to refuse the drug or refuse the alcohol or refuse that illicit behavior that was getting you in so much trouble. never ever thought you'd experience victory, but you're here today as a testimony of the miraculous freeing power of your God. Would you please stand up and be a living visible illustration to somebody that needs their faith and courage today?

I wonder if anybody is in this room, the doctor has said to you, there is absolutely nothing else that we can do apart from a miracle. You will not be able to be saved. But I wonder if there's somebody here today who had an X-ray and what the X-ray showed this month is not the same thing it showed last month.

And it is the miracle of God upon your life. Would you please stand as a testimony of [Applause] healing? I wonder if there's anybody in the room today and your heart has ever been so devastated, so broken, your mind ever been so fissured that you never thought you'd ever be able to live healthy and whole because of some devastating loss or grief in your life.

But you're here today and you've been able to sleep well at night. You've been able to hold food down. You know what the peace is that passes all understanding?

Not because you got it from a good self-help book, but because the Holy Spirit of God himself put peace on your life. Would you please stand to your feet and be a testimony? I wonder if there is anybody in the room today and you've ever had a spouse or a child or a parent and you never thought they would come to know Jesus Christ as savior.

You prayed and asked the Lord to bring them into a saving knowledge and it sure did take a long time. But you're here today as a testimony that God can remove the scales off of the eyes of the people that we love and draw them to himself. Would you please stand and be a testimony for somebody today?

I wonder if there's anybody in the room and you've ever had such a financial disaster you never thought you'd be able to recover. You didn't know if there would be food on your table. You didn't know if your house was going to be able to be paid for so that you could keep it.

You didn't know if you'd be able to to take care of your children month after month. But you are here today as a testimony that your God can take care of all of your needs according to his riches and glory. If that's your testimony, would you please stand to your feet and be an illustration for somebody today?

[Applause] Look what God has done. And if today, if today your heart is broken, if today your bills have yet to be paid, if today your marriage is faltering, if on this day you you wonder whether or not you'd ever be able again to have a whole heart because of how it's been broken by betrayal or or loss. If you're wondering today if your God can heal your body, he sent some disciples to tell you the good news.

He wants you to know today that what he has done for others, he will surely do for you. Come on y'all, let's honor God today. [Applause] If you're discouraged today and you are wondering how in the world you're going to keep circling and have your faith built and be able to reserve your voice for the shout that is coming when your God does what he plans to do on your behalf.

If you're struggling through that faith right now, would you please lift your hand? There are some disciples in the room that cannot wait to surround you and encourage you in prayer. Y'all come on.

If there are some hands around you, would you please just turn beside you, in front of you, beside you, in front of you, wherever, would you just lay your hands on them or reach your hands toward them? We're going to pray over them in Jesus' name. Lord, right now in the matchless name of Jesus the Christ, I ask that for every hand that is raised because of loss or betrayal or tragedy or devastation, Lord, they are circling something that is in their estimation too big to handle.

Lord, I thank you right now that you receive our questions, that you're not upset by them. I thank you for the margin and the grace that you give us to strengthen our faith in you. I pray right now in Jesus name, you would exchange their discouragement for a cloak of encouragement.

Lord, I ask right now by your spirit that every assignment that the enemy has trained and assigned to these people, I pray right now in the matchless name of Jesus Christ that that assignment would be cancelled by his blood that has been shed on Calvary. Lord, we release hope. We release encouragement.

We release release a strong level of faith, Lord, and hope in the name of Jesus Christ. We thank you for the disciples that you sent today to spread the word that you are who you say you are. You can do what you say that you can do.

And so it is in the matchless name of Jesus Christ that all God's daughters in the room agreed with me when they said amen. Amen. Amen.