I saw his butt, it’s sick - The Office US

but I would say my favorite art form is a tie between sculpting and standup comedy I did standup comedy once you did yeah I killed that sounds like it was hilarious it was hilarious it is rumored that they will recommend declaring bankruptcy what no no that doesn't make any sense oh Lord we're all going to lose our job Michael are you okay did you throw up in there I'm just pooping you know how I be but it smells like throw up in here crazy world lot of smell Wells if I lose my 401k it's all

over game over I don't know why I thought this paper bubble would last it's like you guys what if this is our last day at work what if we never see each other ever again I like Aaron there I said it I was kind of hoping she would ask me out but things have not panned out on that front so is time for the nard dog to take matters into his own [Music] pause is going to we have to do something because people are losing it out there wondering what's going to happen okay we need

some sort of distraction for everybody anything new on YouTube doesn't even need to be good oh God I can't think I need more Mullins even a smile there has been a murder what a m what there's been a murder in Savannah what did you get naughty Nelly nutmeg a vivacious young socialite with a penchant for Scandal oo sa about you Nathaniel nutmeg the local bartender and Nelly's brother get both switch cards with me no way man I'm Dicky land the richest man in saan who cares it's all made up just switch well then who cares

that you're Nelly's brother I my name is Deborah utun Deb for short that's clever Deb utun Bill bourbon was my uncle I would have never hurt him any more than I'd hurt a June bug nice accent he sound like Forest Gump I do not well you do actually You' got this kind of like Florida Panhandle thing going whereas what you really want is more of a savannah accent which is more like molasses just sort of spilling out of M oh now do the Swedish Chef uh I'm not familiar what province is he from he lives

on Sesame Street dumbass so since spies are not allowed to have children I was put up for adoption and the nutmeg family took me in what does this have to do with the mystery well nothing in particular I guess uh but just so happens you and I are not blood relations fcy that hey there young lady hello I would be remiss if I did not ask the pretty young lady out on a date for this weekend sounds like a plan sugar all right a plan it is do you want to go out on the date

with me we can make out by the horses well you know old Nelly is always up for romp in the hay how about a threesome yeah my Bois is always open nice I'm a little worried I might have asked out naughty Nelly and not Aaron which would be a whole lot less appealing because naughty Nelly says yes to everyone and she might be a murderer I just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's so funny the guy's dead the whole time Haven seen it speaking of weekends you excited about our date this weekend of course Nathaniel okay

where are you taking me well finest steakhous in all Savannah Savannah that's a far away from Scranton did you mean a real date no did you totally not I thought it was for real so I was excited but it was just it was part of the game Aaron I need you to fax this and get me a confirmation Pronto are you going later sure if you are yes we recently struck up a romantic relationship and um but we're kind of keeping it quiet for now cuz it's still kind of a new thing it's a little

delicate talk to me that way again and I'll cut your face off whoa we just don't want all the drama exactly yeah cuz when everyone knows it oh wow I cannot believe this is happening this is everything I dreamed oh my God who thought of this Oscar no really yeah why well well because you're antisocial Oscar you're kind of a snob it's not a birthday it's not a goodbye party Pam and I are going to go play pool with one of our friends and we need a fourth sucks to be you would you like to

be our fourth that would be Sublime all [Music] right whoa what is cracking guys we're focusing we're focusing we can't talk what's this game one second yeah how do you play guys guys guys please okay all right it's all yours now can you imagine what people would say if they saw us dancing together hey guys get a bedroom already did we miss the wedding um I got it I'll do this and you play the racing game and then we'll [Applause] switch we just have to throw everyone off the scent a little so Follow My Lead

hi hi I don't normally do this go go just sit down next to a beautiful woman and start talking to myself to confuse other people Hey Big Boy do you like it when I do that we didn't say we were going to like start groping strangers I was flirting with a man get in here where did you learn to talk like that the movies I don't know what movie Black Snake Moan hi ladies and gentlemen my name is Andrew Bernard and I've been on two dates with Aaron Hannon and they went well and they there

will probably be more thank you you know it got to the point where keeping it a secret was just too much stronger drama and I hate drama so there you go you love drama I know I do right I'm a total drama queen D mil Jessica Hi how are you oh yay that's so great to hear I'm not going to be one of those Exes who can't move on they have their life and I have mine I'm taking an Italian class so far I have learned tortillini spatini Linguini well it's not so much a class

as a restaurant but I do Monday Wednesday Friday from 7:00 to 9:00 Jessica I love you that's a message from my mom my parents met Jessica and they completely flipped for her so they gave me this old Family ring to use on her I know whoa pump the brakes Bernard too early I get it I I just you know I'm just carrying it around seeing how it feels I haven't proposed to anyone in years um I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the the grumpies in here a beautiful Monster cost me my 40s and

my dream home I think I'm entitled to the occasional bad day well please tell Susan we all say hi dude what if since you feeling grumpy we all swing by tonight and check out your indoor pool Kevin no what is some sort of lastra yeah all of us in the pool saying harah maybe the last one that says Harrah is it you going on night kiddo cuz I can give you a lift oh I don't know weith it seems like you shouldn't drive maybe ever it's no problem you live right near me how do you

know where I live Andy followed you home after the Christmas party why he wanted to make sure California didn't put it in you oh come on that's I didn't even realize he doesn't even speak English wow Andy's such a weird stalker following me home like that when he has a girlfriend I should get a restraining order wow yeah it's some pretty serious poage what are you doing H flicking a bug off my wiener gross I'm getting a drink do you want anything no good funny we can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely

hi hi how is everything how's your car it's great you know reliable great mileage is that so how about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something maybe get caught in the rain well I can't I'm going skiing with Jessica you know couple of dopes on the slopes oh like I go by a trip no what hey hi I guess Andy isn't n totally over his current girlfriend but if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again just not with Robert he told me he was a

ride I wouldn't survive and I believe him wow hey Dwight snoo what you doing I'm relaxing scram Stanley um what happened to my pants I move them pants only need a chair if there's a person in them where come on don't you want to play a real yeah yeah you want to play you little hick awesome you regret attacking me now hick huh stop it hey I was flirting with you I was trying to use you to make Andy jealous I'm not going to help you why would you choose me because I'm Mighty cuz I'm

the manliest Man in the office I'll do it stop you stop no you stop no you stop is heing oh okay you can stop okay you can stop no no he's not you you can actually stop so good now take a chip and crush it into my face really rub the grease around do it rub it in oh that's so good Andy is not even luy yes wa our chemistry is really clicking we work so well together I know I can just bang you right now he's not looking hey no you lied to me Andy

you pretended to be in this office for 3 months and you were sailing on your boat I resent that I I never lied to you really hey David all is good in Scranton PA and all was good in Scranton PA that day by the way Oscar says hi Oscar says hi all the time he says all kinds of greetings hi hello ola you telling me you've never heard Oscar say hi Andy you're calling me a liar Andy by the way that reminds me I want to ask you about some of the lies you've been telling

me lately Watch Andy oh here we go January 7th 2013 hey Andy all's well been meaning to make it down there but my wife's sick well which is it is all well or is your wife sick busted my wife this has been really tough time yeah yeah has it Aaron just dumped me and I can't remember any of the AHA moments I had on the boat and I know it sounds weird to say but I really miss my beard good morning good morning and how are you on this fine T we ready don't use that

part last week Aaron told me that that our relationship will be proceeding without me now I have to see her every day at work which is [Music] brutal he sounds like a wounded animal should have put him out of his misery and just fired him I can't be around sad people it makes me sad I'm the same way with horny people okay yes Pete and I have started seeing each other and Andy still doesn't know we thought that keeping it secret was more considerate to him and hot for us I mean I saw Pete's butt

it's sick where are you going uh not on a 3-month boat trip oh burn uh excuse me what everyone can just leave whenever they want now how dare you hi the answer is yes have some messages for you are they from you well no they're from clients well then I don't want them you can keep them I've got this seat just right so I can this she got rid of it my blue sweater what is that about I'll was just leaving stay we are in the brozone layer okay nard dog plop and clar or posie

AKA Clark or orange here's a s Aon dumped me natch but she got rid of my blue sweater which was her favorite is she moving on a little fast or am I being a total psycho plop you go first I don't know women do tend to move on quicker than men survey says doesn't make me feel better at all sorry zero Clark 30 what do you got well look at it this way being a bachelor is not all bad you got your freedom now last night I ordered a pizza by myself and I ate it

over the sink like a rat there you go good for you now I'll give you $100 to wear that sweater to work tomorrow why doesn't Aaron seem sad has she found someone new or something and if so why hasn't she told me is she trying to spare my feelings during breakups the Mind goes to some crazy Dark Places Andy don't no good can come from snooping I'm not snooping there's just some crud on her screen you're clearly snooping that's kind of come on that's her private property hello who's snooping on who now what does that

even mean everyone just please cool man you know private property oh my God knows he'll get you told you so doesn't make any sense Daryl Clark Kevin Toby plop take a knee all right you guys are going to think I'm psycho again uh couldn't shake this feeling that aon's dating someone so I looked at her phone man you can't do that stuff you only find pain when my ex-wife got into my email account she was devastated too late I found out she's been texting a guy named Pete does anybody know a Pete you were gone

I knew it for a long time you and Aaron are F Andy just so you know there was no overlap no overlap great good wow this is suddenly so easy guess what you're fired what yeah you are fired one of the perks of being boss I can fire anyone who steals my girlfriend and wow that turns out to be you yep sorry so you had a bad day and the camera don't lie hey you got a sec to talk kind of painful to chat with you Pete ever since the old one two punch to my

scrotum pole translation penis translation my manhood yeah look uh I understand breakups are tough you know it happens to all of us at some point in life but you got to move on great advice thank you you can leave now listen to him Andy he's trying to tell you something that you really need to hear awesome perspective thanks for butting in well I've been where you are now I dated this girl Alice and it was an ugly breakup she worked at a marketing agency right next to my house I'd run into her every day but

I had to grow up and deal deal with it and I did we're even Facebook friends now see we can all be friends just get over it it doesn't have to be awkward I do think we can have a fair yeah so life gives you lemons you just got to eat them ryes and all and if you don't want to eat them your ex-girlfriend will shove them down your throat with the help of her hunky new boyfriend so that's fun hi hi I'm here from BCI marketing consultants to meet with Andrew Bernard oh yes consultant

Andy said you can start right away so I will take you to your desk oh okay great thanks fresh meat fresh meat just keep walking don't give her anything she'll take it and run I'm Ain by the way nice to meet you get sweater oh thanks where shoes M bad at small I'm Kevin Pete Alice it's uh been a while huh oh do you two know each other yeah we I have a history oh history wow okay we dated for 2 years that's so Random well is it Andy also hired a Management Consultant today oh

[Music] no hey Aaron Look Who's Back The Birdman hello beautiful didn't you two used to do it we absolutely did thank you for remembering that is there somebody who's in charge of marketing maybe I should sit near him or her hi hi hi how's it going hi good I'd love to discuss strategy with you if you have a wow this sure is intense having to share a workspace with someone you used to get it down with Andy that is really in appropriate awkward it is awkward this is a really uncomfortable situation that you've contrived really

uncomfortable situation yeah it's all right Pete you can handle it I mean we all just got to move on ain't that right Professor lecture much uh question how's that medicine taste your own flavored is it just me or have these tables turned so there's no marketing department no no you know times were tough I was unemployed I was still heartbroken over you I lost a good 50 lbs but as you can see I put all that weight right back on feel half fat my buttocks are yeah it's crazy touch it it's like a warm pumpkin

so Andy just called you up out of the blue yeah you told me you to broke up yeah you must be pretty horny and Alice uh I understand you once dumped Pete ouch it was an amicable breakup Andy okay while we're rewriting history you never had a drinking problem it was college that is what you do D you're also supposed to go to classes so there's that hey Andy is this at all work related we'll get to that Gabe did Aaron ever tell you that she loves you no no no no no no no no

no no no no no she wouldn't even let me say it it was adorable she'd plug her ears and scream her heart out can you stop talking because every word out of your mouth is like the squawk of an ugly Pelican I got a tattoo for you I didn't ask you to get that Nike Swoosh nobody did you did that for you just do it you were the it that I was just doing so you're dating a secretary now moving up in the world Pete she's nice to me how's that PE degree coming that's what

he wanted to be his dream in college was to be a gym teacher well guess what he could still be a gym teacher in fact we could all still be gym teachers so let's I technically cannot I don't have the lung capacity to blow a whistle oh my God what kind of music are you into Peter uh I like all kinds of music Gabe really all kinds so you like songs of hate written by the white Knights of the Klux Clan Erin are you even hearing this he didn't even say that he's not a very

sophisticated man I mean he can't use chopsticks so you I need to say anything else Aaron I've been to Japan I know how to use chopsticks so well come back one night I don't what is that supposed to be is that I don't want you to sh I wasted two years of my life on you you realize that right I just want to be real clear that Chopsticks is not the measure of a man I am as smooth as a why don't you say at the beginning this isn't really going that well shovel his Sashimi

into his mouth with a all right all right yes that is a legitimate question does making Aaron and Pete feel bad make me feel better a Simon yeah yeah it [Music] does