This program contains subject matter and language that may be disturbing to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised. MICHAEL: Precious.
Come on, let's go, babe. My name is Michael. I'm 52 years old.
I live in San Diego, California. [music playing] I love your coat. URSULA: He has a great sense of being inventive, being creative.
He can turn everything he has into money. These are cute. I want these here for sure.
He could turn stuff that people thrown away, and he's making money on it. This is kind of nice. But it's just to support his drug habit.
But it's just to support his drug habit. I'm an addict by definition. I'm consumed-- I'm consumed by a drug.
I meet the criteria. If I had $20 to my name, my last $20, and I had an option to buy dope or have a meal, I have to get the dope. [music playing] It was definitely a surge.
It takes your breath away a little bit. Oh, wow. That's good dope.
COUSIN MICHAEL: When Michael is high, he is very, very, very, very, manicky. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal, then have maybe another bowl of cereal. I'm digging on the sugar.
I can't remember where the [bleep] my cart is. [bleep] COUSIN MICHAEL: He's going a mile a minute. Just things spew out of his mouth.
Forrest Gump is my favorite character. ROXANNA: When he's been, like, on a three-day-- four days up, he can get really irritable and angry. What am I doing here?
I need a [bleep] cart. Here we go. You know, the slightest thing can set them off.
Hey, what time is it right now? Looks like it's very late. What time is it?
I'm done. I'm done. I'm [bleep] done.
[music playing] In 1958, Michael was born. That was a great blessing that I had. Learning the little nursery rhymes and singing, I would have fun doing that.
COUSIN MICHAEL: Michael was very gregarious, very outgoing. He was just a fun, fun kid. He was a drill sergeant.
I had this whole military life and the rules. He was insistent about doing it his way. You know, just give me a baseball, for crying out loud.
That's all I want I'd say to myself. I want to just be an American kid. He was cold.
My dad was very judgmental. ROXANNA: I don't think that Michael ever had anybody telling him that he was good. I was told go sit down and shut up.
What you say is unimportant. That's very humiliating. I don't think his mother was very affectionate towards him at all.
She was just kind of cold, controlled. MICHAEL: She wasn't engaged. No, she didn't assist me with homework.
Didn't have any kind of instruction or mentorship. After a while, it builds on you a little bit, and you kind of-- you feel like you got a raw deal. ROXANNA: He desperately wanted to feel loved.
He learned that the only way he can get attention from his mother is by, you know, getting in trouble. I chose to go to the extreme and have him removed from the home. Ursula just kind of gave up.
COUSIN MICHAEL: He was very-- you know, very excited. You know, taking a step in the right direction and trying to do something positive in his life. ROXANNA: Michael was really talented chef.
He just learned by doing. He went from just a regular chef to a sous chef and then to an executive chef. URSULA: Michael enjoyed raising his children, URSULA: Michael enjoyed raising his children, being a family man.
Michael was the most amazing father. He always wanted to have a family and sort of be the father that his father never was. ALEX: Every weekend, my dad would come home with something new-- hockey sticks, footballs, or baseball bats or anything.
It was always exciting. NICHOLAS: It was like playtime all the time. And my dad was like the facilitator of it, you know.
MICHAEL: When my kids were growing up, to understand they're being heard. ROXANNA: We had our kids, and he was doing great at all his jobs. But he just seemed to always sabotage it for himself.
It's like-- it's almost like he felt like he didn't deserve it. COUSIN MICHAEL: The divorce for Michael was very, very difficult. He tried to block it out, and I think that's when his using increased.
ROXANNA: Michael was just on a total drug frenzy. He's been from living in the street to living in a garage to living in a motor home. He's been kicked out of places.
It's just been insanity. NICHOLAS: It's like I think he just said [bleep] it, and he just kind of, like, gave up. Come on-- hey, get out of the street.
Come on, let's go. Come on, Shotzy. This is what is important.
You guys can all stand up. MICHAEL: Hello. ALEX: Come on in, dad.
Wait a minute, I knew something was up, man. What's up? - Come on in.
NICHOLAS: Dad get-- sit down. ALEX: Sit down. I knew something was up.
We are here to welcome you, Michael. MICHAEL: What's up? ALEX: Come on.
NICHOLAS: Hi. ALEX: Sit down. NICHOLAS: Sit down.
MICHAEL: Wow. What's up? Talk to me.
Yes, ma'am. You're not in the hot seat. Who are you, madam, please?
Who-- who-- Yes, ma'am. Are you a facilitator? Are you facilitating a certain objective?
What is your-- what is your title, madam? I am a counselor. Yes, ma'am, that's what I thought, OK.
That's all I need here. ALEX: Dad, sit next to me. Come over here with us.
MICHAEL: I'm sitting here because I need air. And there, I am sinking too far, and I feel like I'm drowning. CANDY FINNIGAN: Roxanne.
[whimpering] OK. ALEX: Mom. ROXANNA: I've seen your addiction affect your life negatively in the following ways.
You lost your family, lost numerous jobs, lost your teeth and physical looks. I do not have peace in my life because I worry about you and the children not having a father. and the children not having a father.
It is not all right for me to keep enabling you to live like this. If you are not willing to take part in this recovery process today, you need to know that you will-- there will be consequences for your decision. I will no longer invite you for the holidays and to be part of our family get-togethers.
You have not given me a chance to be close to you. I want to enjoy life with all of us. I need you, Michael.
I love you. Dad, it's not right for me to keep enabling you-- for me to keep enabling you to let you keep living like this. I refuse to help you out in any way to get high or get drugs in any way.
I will not be able to see you on a regular basis as long as you continue to use. Dad, you need to get help. OK.
NICHOLAS: And I want to worry about you anymore. I knew-- I don't want it to be me the one that comes to your house and finds you dead. You told me-- you told me more than was in the past when I was playing ball I would strike out and to not give up and get back So today, step up to the plate and hit that ball, dad.
Yeah. ROXANNA: Thank you. I can't do it on my own.
I need a hug, dad. URSULA: Good. Bravo, Michael.
[inaudible] You won't have to. It's all good, Alex. Love you more.
URSULA: So long. Bye bye. Auf wiedersehen.
MICHAEL: Wow, I'm tripping. It's a relief. I don't have to use anymore.
I don't have to do that anymore. I don't have to-- I don't have to stick a needle in my arm-- and I knew I'd say it one of these days. I knew I would, and I did just now.
I've been sober coming up on three months. I feel content. I feel I have a little serenity today.
Boy, that view is something else. OK. Wow, this is nice.
I was hopeless, and I'm so grateful that that I'm not like that anymore. I can't wait to go home. I have two sons and a daughter that I just can't wait to spend more time with.
Show my left hand so they see I'm not married. You never know who's going to give me a call. Hell, I might even get a date one these days.
Who knows? Don't cut that one out. OK.
PRODUCER: I won't. (SINGING) You know me how I had enough to tell [inaudible] Five steps you're over.
