real self-confidence. This is the kind that moves entire rooms of people. It is the kind of confidence that makes people desire to follow your lead before you even open your mouth.
This is mamalian confidence. Keep this in your brain. Confidence is not a trait.
It's a skill. It is programmable. It is buildable.
It is transferable across every area of life. And most of all, true confidence is contagious. Most people define confidence the wrong way.
They think that it means I feel amazing about myself all the time and I'm on top of other people. Confidence is a generalized expectation of positive or manageable outcomes. So, it's not perfect outcomes, not guaranteed outcomes, just that whatever happens, you've got it covered.
You're going to be good. Just having this expectation is your new internal compass. And the more you live like that's true, the more that your entire nervous system is going to adapt to that, like it's your entire baseline.
So if you've been waiting for some kind of permission to feel confident, social permission, evidence that you're ready, then all I can say is I am sorry to say you are still in the SCP and it is working perfectly. That voice in your head telling you you're not there yet, you're not good enough, you need to fix more things before you step forward, that voice is not yours. It was installed in you.
But the real you, the sovereign you, you just haven't given yourself permission to access that voice yet. So, step one, be radically selfforgiving. Most people try to build confidence, but they're carrying shame for their past.
If you're trying to build an unshakable belief in yourself, you have to become delusionally self forgiving. Self forgiveness is not weakness. It is access.
Cuz no one can perform while secretly punishing themselves. Real confidence only lives in a body that feels safe [music] with itself. Confidence is not who you are.
It's who you decide to become at first. It becomes who you are later, but it's who I decide in this moment. And after that, it's just a habit.
You don't need to feel confident. You need to step into the right role. R O L E.
It's about roles. So confidence gives us access to behaviors we had no idea that we even possessed. If you see a firefighter run into a burning building, they're not doing it as Joe from the gym.
They're doing it as I am a firefighter. The role is what gives you permission. The permission gives you composure and the composure gives you power.
If you're still trying to earn your confidence through external validation, allow me to lovingly call that exactly what it is. It's emotional subcontracting. You are outsourcing your self-belief and your self-esteem and probably some of your identity to somebody else's reaction.
And it's probably people that you don't know or worse, you're outsourcing it to consensus. If I open this door to where positive comments online make me feel good about who I am and help me to develop confidence and self-esteem, that's the exact same door that's open for the negative stuff. Confidence doesn't come after you feel ready.
It comes because you move without it. You do not need the world's permission to act like you belong. And that's when you become dangerous because you are no longer programmable.
So forget the hype that you read online about how to have confidence because you stand up straight, you make good eye contact. Total So confidence is not about volume. It isn't charisma.
It's not dominance. Confidence is about safety and composure. And that composure gives a rise to something deeper than confidence, which is authority.
When you enter a room and your body says, [music] "I have nothing to prove. " People lean into this, no one is [music] coming to knight you and give you some seal of permission to feel confident. You don't need that.
The only permission that matters is internal. [music] This is the permission to decide you are built for this or I am built for this. If you want to be persuasive, if you want to lead, if you really want to move people and have influence and persuasion in the world, confidence is not optional.
It is [music] trade craft. Confidence can never be reactive. It has to be engineered.
[music] I forgive myself fast and forever with no exceptions. I choose roles with intention. I will never wait for social permission or evidence.
That all comes from inside of me. I regulate before I perform. My confidence is a habit, not a tactic.
Finally, I give myself full authority because no one else has [music] the ability to go out there and prove nothing.
