Sil harassed me for dating her brother after his divorce then sent me bridesmaid invitation as an apology turns out she was forced by her mom to save her dream wedding hello everyone I'm 26 years old Kyle 34 and I are getting married soon and are expecting our first baby we've been in a relationship for 7 months and the baby was a surprise for both of us the problem since the beginning of our relationship has been Kyle's sister Bella 36 Kyle and I were introduced by his younger brother Victor 27 during Kyle's divorce process he had
been separated from his wife for over a year and I had just ended a long-term relationship we started talking and eventually became friends with benefits neither of us wanted a relationship immediately he had started treating his depression and I had recently changed my medication for anxiety as well months later his divorce was finalized and 2 months after that he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted one month into our relationship he arranged a family dinner since I already knew his brother and mother at the dinner I met Bella who began harassing me in
every possible way my accent my clothes my hair trying to make me look stupid all in a passive aggressive manner both Kyle and his brother and mother defended me but Bella got offended and left early since then Kyle and I have had low contact with Bella she is still best friends with Kyle's ex-wife and being the control freak she is thinks Kyle shouldn't have divorced his ex to me this was super bizarre for months she said I was Kyle's AP in the the reason for his divorce she told everyone in our Social Circle and it
eventually reached us which is ridiculous Kyle ended things with his ex due to personal issues there was no infidelity we didn't even know each other when he started the divorce process and I was still with my ex this rumor persisted for about four months despite our denials she even spread the rumor to their extended family it spread so far that it reached my grandparents the situation became so complicated that Kyle's mother a woman of impeccable reputation had to refute the lies her daughter had created after this we decided to cut her off completely avoiding places
where she would be even so she continues to lie about me claiming I cheated on my ex he cheated on me that I told Kyle to cut off his ex completely I never commented on his relationship with his ex and that I wanted to be with Victor his long-term girlfriend is my best friend she calls me promiscuous and says I'm only after Kyle's family money we have similar Financial situations and the worst thing she said about me was that if even my mother abandon me no man wouldn't abandon me my mother has schizophrenia and borderline
personality disorder my father divorced her after she stopped treatment and tried to kill me and yes she abandoned me after that I am pregnant and we recently found out I'm not yet 12 weeks along but Kyle told his brother and best friend his best friend told his wife who then told Bella Bella always hosts events and at the last one she made sure her friends told Kyle's X Kyle didn't want kids before and now Bella and Kyle's X are spreading rumors that I'm just a rebound and that my relationship with Kyle won't last and when
his ex finds someone new Kyle will crawl back to her and now I'm afraid that this might be true I can't take it anymore I'm exhausted Kyle and I hardly talk to his family and still she doesn't stop she wants me to disappear and for Kyle to leave me all I really want is for my baby to grow up in a healthy environment I don't want a broken home like the one I had and this Petty woman won't even let me try I am not a home wrecking monster I just fell in love with someone
who loves me back so how do I deal with this what should I do I don't want to cause more trouble I don't want to be what she says I am update 1 I'm 26f engaged and our relationship is pretty recent but we're expecting a baby 9 weeks I had to switch my meds for Gad because of the pregnancy on doctor's advice and my crazy sill has been making my life hell after a rumor from my sill everyone's calling me a rebound and I'm starting to believe it I've never been the other woman but I
met my future husband been in person during his divorce and we got involved even so it feels like I wrecked his 12-year marriage like I'm some home wrecker who ruined everything his ex is beautiful elegant has everything figured out and she's one of the best in her field how can I not feel insecure I don't know how I didn't feel insecure before he has a career he's financially stable he's got everything sorted out and I'm a mess I want to be a pediatrician but I don't know how to do that now that I'm pregnant I
don't know if I should drop out of med school I have haven't got it together I'd never marry me let alone have a family why would anyone have a kid with me my mom has BPD and schizophrenia she almost killed me when I was four and then she ran off and never talked to me again what if I turn out like her I'm scared every day of getting PPD and not being able to love my baby not being able to take care of him afraid I might try to hurt him sometimes I think it'd be
better to give my baby to my fiance and maybe he could raise him with his ex they'd be the perfect family and I could disappear like my mom did then I hate myself for thinking that but I love my fiance I love my baby I hate myself because I can't tell my fiance say this I'm scared again of being a rebound and him finally realizing I'm a rebound and he doesn't want me anymore not me or the baby or Worse he'll take my baby and go back to his ex I didn't feel like this before
I've always been anxious but never this insecure I don't know what's happening to me additional info oop on why her fiance got a divorce it's kind of complicated because it's based basically about my fiance's mental health he told me he married her because it was the right thing to do not because he loved her they'd known each other forever and ended up getting married really young it took him a long time to realize this because he was dealing with depression and thought that lack of feeling was just part of being depressed during his treatment he
figured out he didn't love his ex that he was just going through the motions to meet his dad's expectations he had a really abusive relationship with his Dad he thought it was only fair to both him and his ex to ask for a divorce oop on the time timeline of her relationship with her fiance we've been officially together for 8 months and a year in total we talked about marriage when we started living together but it was a plan for a year from then I found out about the pregnancy while doing some tests and then
he proposed because it was already in our plans but the pregnancy just wasn't he was married for 12 years but I think he was with his ex for like 16 years update 2 hey everyone I posted here a while back and it helped me rethink some past situations now I need advice on my current situation I have a terrible relationship with my S she's best friends with my fiance's ex and hates that I'm ruining her best friend's life there was never any cheating or flirting while my fiance was with his ex it got to the
point where I had to contact a lawyer to get her to stop harassing and verbally abusing me after the cease and desist letter she was quiet for a while last weekend she sent me a box with gifts like drinks food and some makeup plus an invitation to be one of her bridesmaids she wrote a long letter asking if I would accept this honor as an apology for everything she did the problem is I'm actually considering accepting to see if we can at least coexist without pointless fights on Saturday night I showed the invite to my
fiance and said I was thinking about it and it led to a huge argument my fiance holds a big grudge against his sister and really doesn't want to talk to her ever again but I want our baby to grow up in a big happy family even if it means making some sacrifices he said he wasn't invited to be a groomsman and thinks it's just an excuse for Sil to call me a k ended up saying he's tired of my naivity because it always ends up hurting us since I assume the best of people I went
to my stepmom's after the fight and didn't know what to do I came back home Sunday night after getting advice from my dad and stepmom I tried to ignore it and move on but just the fact that she sent something caused a huge fight between my fiance and me I want to resolve this in the best way possible I'm starting my second trimester and everything feels more difficult and exhausting Kyle and I are both tired lately and my pregnancy hasn't been the easiest we're working extra dealing with the stress of Parenthood and marriage I don't
want the fact that we want to handle things differently to cause problems between us I really want to create a space where my baby can at least visit their Grandma peacefully even if my sill is there but my fiance is ready to cut off his mom if necessary so how can I handle this situation edit some people here have been calling me toxic and saying my fiance should leave me I know I messed up but I love him with all my heart I'm going to apologize as soon as he gets home we've never thought like
this before and I didn't realize I did something so bad I never meant to hurt him or prioritize anyone over him I just thought I could make things work because I never had a typical family and I feel like I ruined what he had with his family by being with him sorry to everyone who's disgusted by me if he wants to break up I'll leave without complaining I feel a tightness in my chest and sick to my stomach thinking I hurt someone I love additional info more info on the family from oop we always have
dinner with his younger brother and his girlfriend because I've been friends with them for a long time but his mom refuses to come if my sill isn't invited so she never shows up she visited me once to check on me and the baby even so he seems sad when he talks about it because they had this tradition for years he never said I'm the problem but it feels like everything changed when I came along like if it was any other woman with him it wouldn't be this way Elemental help you absolutely should not accept if
you got to the point where you had a cease and desist issued on this person you need to remain no contact people this absolutely do not change this is 100% a trap and you would be an enormous idiot to fall for it edit people need to understand in the thread that asking op to be her bridesmaid was a violation of a ceas and assist order stop telling her to respond she absolutely should not respond eanch you need to let your dreams of a big happy family go you should honor your husband's wishes and follow his
lead with his sister trying to achieve a relationship with her will lead to problems between you and your husband she's toxic and can't be trusted move on zie healthy 2616 sometimes family is the people who are always there for us rather than those connected by Blood oop comments after reading others replies reading the comments made me realize how blind I've been about everything my SS apology was everything I wanted in a way hoping it would get me accepted into the family and make everything better I never wanted to disrespect my fiance or his boundaries with
his family he misses the family get togethers on weekends with his mom brother sister and in-laws and I feel like I've ruined everything and just wanted to fix things I love him so much and just want a good pregnancy experience yeah I'm anxious had to adjust my meds for the pregnancy and that plus hormones has made everything weird I'm going to talk to my fiance and probably my lawyer about the apology letter to see if anything can be done I don't want to deal with any harassment again I went to my parents place because a
lot of hurtful things were said and I needed some space and he did too update 3 hey everyone great news I'm going to be a mom to a baby boy I like the names lead and Bo and my fiance likes teodor and Gustaf I have to admit I'm really loving teodor too I want to thank you all and clarify a few things thanks for the advice some of it hurt when I first posted but all of it was helpful in some way first off I'm not a spoiled and childish girl forcing my will on my
fiance his sister has always had problems with me not with him so I thought it was something I had to handle but as you all said she's his sister and they need to deal with it or not and yes I'm an extremely anxious person who's been in therapy for years I suffered abuse from my mother my only family growing up was my dad when my dad finally returned to his hometown and we could have a family beyond the two of us I was essayed by someone trusted by that family I've been working on this for
a long time but many may not understand how much this has impacted my pregnancy and choices lately it feels like the problem is me that I don't deserve love and family and I'm so scared my son will have a similar experience that I can't stop thinking about it but as many of you said my family now is me my baby and my husband I also have my dad stepmom grandparents little brother Bill Victor and Friends by my side so the real update the night I posted I talked to my husband he came home late from
a shift and then went out drinking with Victor I apologized for meddling in his relationship with his sister for thinking I knew her better than he did and for causing unnecessary conflict I also apologized for putting the fantasy of a big happy family above his feelings I was shocked by his reaction because he cried and he's usually very stoic he apologized for saying he was tired of me and said it wasn't true at all but it's hard to see the person you love most putting themselves in a position that hurts them just to please someone
extremely narcissistic we apologized and spent the rest of the night talking I asked if he needed a break from me because many of you said he should leave me and he said that never crossed his mind which was a huge relief I had already imagined packing up to go to my parents house we decided to politely decline the invitation but my fiance took a day off to handle the situation with his family I didn't go because it's too stressful and I'm still in the early stages of pregnancy with 5 to 6 months to go so
what came out of the family talk my Mill was the one behind the invitation she told my fiance that she wouldn't attend the wedding or pay for it if the whole family wasn't there and that Sil should face the consequences of her actions Sil could afford the wedding herself but it would be a huge hit to her savings because it's going to be exorb ently expensive and having their mom not show up would be bad because s is a VP at her parents company and many big contracts will be at the wedding she needs to
keep up appearances so Sil thought inviting me as a bridesmaid and writing a heartfelt note would soften me up and yes my fiance's ex would be her maid of honor and my fiance wasn't asked to be a groomsman because the ex didn't want to see him with me he would have been invited as a regular guest so Mill is no longer paying for the wedding but she will attend my fiance Victor and his fiance and I will not go to the wedding now I'm getting messages from unknown numbers calling me Petty because Sil was going
to honor me at her wedding and I ruined her dream wedding it's funny because it's a 36-year-old woman fighting with me because she wanted my fiance to marry her best friend she can't get over a divorce that's not even hers good luck to her fiance I think I've realized she'll never directly attack her brother because of their mom so she hurts me to get to him some other things have come up and we're going to try to distance ourselves more from her especially with the baby on the way because Bill said she has fertility issues
and had a mental breakdown when she found out we were expecting he said Sil seems to be jealous that we got pregnant so soon into our relationship she had dreams of giving the first grandchild to the family since she's the oldest who knew a surprise baby could cause so much chaos thanks to everyone for listening and sharing your experiences see you okay no baby called leat you won I sent a message to Kyle about giving up on the name he is the happiest man right now now next story girlfriend hates my female friend and calls
her a pikme girl and gave me ultimatum either skip the group trip or she's moving out because my friend is going with me I 26m really need an outside perspective on a situation with my girlfriend 26f for starters my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years throughout our relationship things have been mostly good our schedules conflict a bit and we've had our issues but we make it work a big issue between us right now is over a good friend 28f of mine for clarity I'll refer to this friend as Violet for some context
me and violet are part of a small friend group there's two other people in the group we met while attending a film festival around 2 years ago now we were all waiting in line to enter the theater the line was long and we all kind of naturally struck conversation and hit it off we kept in contact afterwards everyone in the group is mostly long distance so we can't hang out in person altogether too much but we talk daily and have we group gaming sessions in anime slm watch Longs Violet lives the closest near me pretty
much in the next town over so we see each other in person the most outside of the group's virtual meetups I do want to mention that I invited my girlfriend to each virtual and inperson meetups and she turned me down every time I try including her but she doesn't want anything to do with it in large part because she doesn't particularly care for our interests stuff like anime manga or gaming is childish to her the movies we watch are mostly older era films and films that were restored but she's not into those either this disconnect
between us was an issue before I even made this group of friends it's not like she'll engage in these things to spend time together like I grew up on game nights I'm not even talking about video games necessarily I'm talking board games Card Games Etc but she doesn't care for that she either shuts it down and goes off to do her own thing or if she does actually watch something with me or play a game then she makes it known that it's a chore for her and she belittles whatever it is increasingly throughout she calls
it joking but it feels more like belittling it gets to a point where I don't even enjoy whatever we're watching or playing I'm not particularly a huge fan of reality TV but I still watch with her and try genuinely engaging because for me it's not about the show so much as it's about spending some quality time together so my friendship with the group has been a nice change of pace and has brought some balance but it's become an ongoing issue in my relationship recently the group has been putting together a trip to this upcoming anime
con the event lasts for a weekend so the plan was to stay together at an Airbnb and split the cost my girlfriend is outright against the trip because of violet she doesn't like my friendship with her and doesn't really seem to like violet at all she has a general annoyance whenever Violet's involved and gets upset whenever I talk or hang out with her we could be having a disagreement about something entirely unrelated and somehow it'll circle around to Violet she also calls Violet a pickme girl when the trip was first being put together I invited
my girlfriend friend she had no interest in coming and later expressed an issue with me going she doesn't like that I'd be staying in the same house as Violet during the trip I offered a compromise of me just booking a hotel and meeting up with everyone but that wasn't an acceptable option for her either nothing I propose she's willing to hear me out on it's all on deaf ears because she knows Violet's going the trip has become a major point of contention between us she now says that it's proof that I have feelings for Violet
because I keep defending her during arguments and because I won't let the trip go I haven't let the trip go because I would really like to attend the con and it's rare that everyone in the group schedules link up like this my girlfriend views it as me taking a getaway with Violet she's firm on her position on the trip and has given me an ultimatum she said I could do whatever I wanted but know that if I went on the trip then I'd be choosing Violet over her and that she'd act accordingly I honestly don't
know what to do anymore I'm not saying her feelings are invalid her feelings are her feelings but I feel that she's being unreasonable and that her insecurity about my friendship with Violet is is baseless I feel pulled in two different directions and now this ultimatum all I do is compromise in our relationship and it just feels one-sided I don't understand why this one thing would be a deal breaker how do I go about addressing this with her now update November 11th 20124 I 26m wanted to give an update on the situation with my girlfriend 26f
and her ultimatum first off thank you to everyone who commented and reached out I really appreciated the feedback it gave me a lot to consider I didn't get a chance to reply to comments so I'll address those questions in this update as well a lot of people asked how my GF and I even got together we knew of each other back in high school but we didn't move in the same circles we actually ended up going to the same college and bumped into each other at a party so I think that's where our initial connection
began we were in this big college Pond and having a familiar face from back home made adjusting easier we didn't start dating until later though things felt more like a mutual respect back then it was after we got together that it was almost like this overnight complete intolerance I was also asked why she considered my friend Violet 28f a pikme girl I honestly don't know the definition is I know it doesn't fit Violet emo when I ask my GF she only says that a woman knows another woman she won't elaborate she never pinpoints specifics my
GF was known to have a bit of a mean girl side back in high school TBH we discussed this before we started dating and she seemed to work through that in college but now it feels like that side very much shows whenever it comes to my interests or with anything involving Violet in regard to the ultimatum I went back and forth on what I should do and what I wanted for me individually and for my relationship I decided to still go on the group trip I do believe compromise is part of a relationship but this
ultimatum isn't that it's an attempt to bulldoze in order to have control instead of working together I had to ask myself if I did go along with this ultimatum then what will it lead to what stops other ultimatums against my interests or whenever she sees fit I still wanted to give another shot at working things out so I had that talk with my GF and let her know of my intentions of going on the trip I told her that I understood her feelings and that she does matter to me but I felt that this ultimatum
wasn't healthy going forward for anyone involved I again invited her to come on the trip with her either staying with us at the Airbnb or her and I staying at a hotel and I thought the trip could be good for us that was a nogo there wasn't any compromise she was willing to accept she was still firm on the ultimatum and said she made her position clear and if I was still going on the trip then there was nothing more to discuss she kept repeating on and off that she hopes choosing Violet was worth it
I told her it had nothing to do with Violet and that she was the one making an entire group trip about Violet the discourse wasn't anything productive I asked her if she would please reconsider the situation she said there was nothing to reconsider and that the choice is in my hands I asked if we could talk again after the con to see how we were feeling and her exact words were the only conversation I'll be having is with the walls because she won't be in our place anymore when I get back ever since then she's
barely said a word to me and my texts are left on read so I guess I'm unofficially being given the silent treatment I don't understand why it has to be this way we should be able to communicate I don't feel equally supported seen or appreciated in this relationship anymore it's a mess but a lot of the feedback I received on here and the recent argument has been a wake-up call and there has to be some kind of change I do think think the trip would be a nice refresher and it's my intent to still go
I don't believe I'll be any better off not going TBH thank you to everyone again
