[Music] normally you go around more interested in your own thoughts and ideas and you're locked in your head it's like a record like in the old final days going around and round around the same grooves right you just switch it around and you tell yourself the other person is more interesting than me their life their thoughts their ideas it's like an undiscovered world it's like going to tahiti or something and visiting another culture they have experiences you've never had they have a world that's not your world it's fascinating they're like a character in a movie
i want to understand it if somebody did that to you suddenly in the office or in the realm of a male female seduction you would feel it you would go wow that's rare and you would be halfway seduced by just the attention okay so the main thing is get them to talk about their childhood obviously don't go tell me about your father just get them to talk about their early life without being you know too inquisitive without making it clear that that's what you're doing everyone has this kind of emotional attachment to their experiences as
a child to where they grew up to their parents to their family to their earliest friends it's got all sorts of emotions surrounding it that are very potent yeah and uncontrollable so a very kind of slip in question about someone's childhood and then asking a few leading questions and letting them do the talking so if you're peppering them with questions you look like a lawyer if they do 70 of the talking they're not even aware that they're doing that but you're letting them talk you letting them be the star but you find a foothold into
their what excites them and you get them to talk and open up about their childhood and then occasionally a question and then occasionally you go into your own life to sort of show oh yeah you had that i had something very kind of similar mirroring people is a slightly manipulative trick but it's very powerful they're starting telling you things about their childhood that are powerful you go yeah i had something very similar and you probably have had something similar yeah that's a really potent way of connecting to people but you've got to be subtle it's
an art to getting people to talk and open up to finding that thing that lights their face up that gets them excited you know if you touch upon a subject and you see that they get nervous or they laugh a lot they're very excited just put that in your little index there and go and return to it knows you've hit upon a chord a subject that either excites them or gives them like fear or whatever there's something very powerful going on there right it's kind of like there's the ancient greek play of oedipus he killed
his father and then he ended up marrying his mother crazy yeah and he never realizes it until he's like in his late 30s and he's gone through this his whole career as king of this thebes and then suddenly he's made aware of it through various things that happen it's like oh my god really i've done all that this is what my life is and he's so overwhelmed that he cuts his eyes out and he blinds himself as proof of you know how blind he was wow so the greeks are saying in that play that we're
all kind of blind fate kind of pushes us around and we're not even aware of it and the moment of feeling enlightened about becoming aware of some of these patterns in your childhood is actually a great moment it's very painful but it's very powerful you know and in the course of a conversation somebody says something a little bit disturbing or a little bit strong and they go oh never mind i'm sorry i didn't mean to say that forget about it don't listen to what i just said well obviously you're not going to forget about it
it's going to sit in your mind and the seed has been planted that's the kind of thing that insinuation is it's never something direct it can be in your body language it can be in the fact that you appear in your words not to be interested in someone but your look your eyes say something different than what your words are saying your look is insinuating desire while your words are kind of neutral and blank it's the art of planting seeds in a person's mind where they go home after they met you and they think what
did he say there what did he mean what was that gesture if you get people to think about you when they go home you're halfway towards a seduction because your spirit has entered their mind and now they're thinking about what you said about what you did and you know we all have anti-seductive tendencies talking too much preaching judging people being sort of brutal with them being in a hurry not listening if you can just eliminate these anti-seductive tendencies you're going to go a long way to improving your social interactions [Music] [Music] you
