2024. Dec. 10 - [Revised] 40 Lessons === [00:00:00] This month, I turned 40 years old, and let me tell you, it hits [00:00:05] differently.
It's the kind of milestone that makes you look back on your whole [00:00:10] journey and think about all the lessons you've learned along the way. I mean, if I could sit down with my [00:00:15] 20 year old self, or maybe even my 30 year old self, this is what I'd tell him. [00:00:20] Here are 40 lessons that have shaped my life, my perspective, and my [00:00:25] purpose.
So whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or even older, I hope you find something [00:00:30] here that speaks to you. Number one, find your foundation, [00:00:35] not just your direction. When I was younger, I thought success was about having a [00:00:40] big grand old vision, but it's not just about direction.
It's about the foundation [00:00:45] you build under the vision. Success isn't climbing a mountain. It's building brick [00:00:50] by brick.
I spent years chasing wrong things, things that [00:00:55] I thought maybe would make me happy only to realize that. I was building someone else's [00:01:00] dream. The key is to make sure your foundation aligns with your values.
[00:01:05] Not just about where you're going, it's about what you're actually standing on. In [00:01:10] my 20s, I used to hustle so hard, I forget to ask myself, is this really the [00:01:15] life I want? It took hitting a few walls to realize that speed means [00:01:20] nothing without clarity.
Number two, health is wealth. I know this sounds cliche, [00:01:25] but let me say this loud and clear. Your health isn't something you can compromise on.
[00:01:30] In my 20s, I thought late nights and fast food and minimal sleep would be [00:01:35] a part of the grind. But then I hit my 30s and my body was like, yo, you can't keep this up. [00:01:40] I remember I once pulled a three day work bench where I barely slept [00:01:45] thinking I was unstoppable.
I ended up in the ER with exhaustion. That's when I realized [00:01:50] energy isn't given, it's earned. If you don't prioritize your health now, [00:01:55] You're definitely going to pay for it later.
Number three, your habits [00:02:00] shape your life. I used to think massive success required massive changes. [00:02:05] But what I've learned is, is that small habits done daily create the biggest [00:02:10] shift over time.
It's not about making giant leaps. It's about showing up consistently. So [00:02:15] if you're trying to level up, don't focus on the end goal alone.
Focus on [00:02:20] what you're doing today. If you want to get fit, start with 10 pushups. You want to grow [00:02:25] your business, make that one cold call.
It's like daily actions that [00:02:30] build that momentum. Number four, no one is coming to [00:02:35] save you. I know this one hits hard and people hate to hear it, but it's the truth.
No one's coming to save you. [00:02:40] And honestly, I think it's a good thing. See, you're your own rescue plan.
And once you [00:02:45] accept that, you can start creating the life you actually want. When I was broke, hustling out of my [00:02:50] mom's house, I kept waiting for some big break or a lucky opportunity. It wasn't [00:02:55] until I took full ownership of my life, stopped blaming circumstances and started [00:03:00] taking actions that things actually changed.
The pain of staying stuck was worse than the [00:03:05] pain of doing the work. Number five. The clock is ticking.
If there's [00:03:10] one thing that I've learned, it's that time waits for no one. I've seen [00:03:15] firsthand how quickly life can change. Whether it's through unexpected challenges or missed [00:03:20] opportunity, tomorrow simply isn't guaranteed.
So if you're waiting for the right time, [00:03:25] stop. Right time is right now. There's a quote that everybody knows and [00:03:30] you should know it too.
And it goes, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. And the [00:03:35] second best time is right now. So stop procrastinating and build the life you actually [00:03:40] want.
Number six, I use this even till today. Fail fast, learn even [00:03:45] faster. Failure isn't the enemy.
Failure or the fear of failure is. [00:03:50] You see, I used to be terrified of messing up, but the truth is failure is how you actually [00:03:55] grow. Every misstep teaches you something you don't know before.
Over the years, [00:04:00] I've had around a dozen businesses that didn't work out. Each one was a lesson in [00:04:05] disguise. At the time, I thought those failures felt massive.
But looking back, [00:04:10] they were just training sessions. Every mistake I made taught me something I needed to [00:04:15] know. If you take those lessons one by one and you apply them to your next venture, [00:04:20] eventually your mistakes get smaller, your processes get sharper, and you realize [00:04:25] every single step back was just a stepping stone to success.
Number [00:04:30] seven, the people around you matter. You see your environment [00:04:35] is either going to push you forward or hold you back. Choose your circle [00:04:40] wisely.
Surround yourself with people who challenge you, inspire you, but most importantly, keep [00:04:45] you accountable. In my 30s, I realized some relationships were draining more than they were [00:04:50] adding to my life. Listen, I know letting go isn't easy, but it made space for the people who [00:04:55] truly uplifted me.
Don't let comparison steal your joy. See, we live in a [00:05:00] world of highlights. Social media seems like everyone's living their best life, but [00:05:05] here's the thing.
You're only seeing their wins, not their struggles. You need to be running your own [00:05:10] race. In my mid to late 20s, I used to scroll through Instagram and Think why [00:05:15] am I not there yet?
It took me years to realize comparison is the thief of [00:05:20] joy. You need to focus on your own path. Number nine, leadership starts with you.
[00:05:25] You can't lead others until you can lead yourself. And leadership isn't about [00:05:30] having all the answers. It's about living with intention and inspiring others [00:05:35] by your own example.
You see, when I started my first team, I thought being a leader meant [00:05:40] telling people what to do. I quickly learned, I mean, I quickly learned that it's [00:05:45] about listening, guiding, and showing up to be the best version of yourself every single day. [00:05:50] Number 10, it's never too late to start again.
No matter where [00:05:55] you are in life, you always have the power to pivot. Your past doesn't define [00:06:00] your future. Your actions today do.
Starting over. I know it can feel [00:06:05] overwhelming, but it's where the most incredible transformations actually happen. [00:06:10] See, I've reinvented myself more times than I can count.
Each time felt risky, but it [00:06:15] always brought me closer to the life I truly wanted. The truth is, it's never too late to [00:06:20] rewrite your story and pursue the future you actually deserve. Number 11.
A [00:06:25] lot of people hate this one, but public speaking is a superpower. Your [00:06:30] ability to communicate clearly and confidently can open doors you could [00:06:35] never imagine. It's not just about talking.
It's about the connections, [00:06:40] inspiring, and leading. I used to avoid public speaking like the plague, but the first [00:06:45] time I stood in front of a crowd and I shared my story, I realized how powerful it [00:06:50] was. And not just for them, but for me.
It's a skill worth developing no matter [00:06:55] what field you're actually in. Number 12. Your environment shapes [00:07:00] your success.
Your physical, your mental, your social [00:07:05] environment all plays a role in your growth. If you're surrounded by clutter, negativity, or [00:07:10] distractions, it's hard to actually focus on your goals. On what matters when I moved to Dubai, I didn't [00:07:15] just change my address.
I changed my entire environment. Being in a place where [00:07:20] ambition and innovation thrive inspired me to push my own boundaries. [00:07:25] Number 13 progress is better than perfection.
First of all, [00:07:30] perfection is just a myth and you chasing it will keep you stuck. Progress no matter [00:07:35] how small allows you to move forward. I've learned done that is better than [00:07:40] perfect.
You can always improve as you go, but You can't fix what you never actually start. [00:07:45] Number 14. A lot of you need to learn this word and you need to learn how to say no.
[00:07:50] Every time you say yes to something that doesn't align with your goals, you're saying no to something [00:07:55] that does. You got to protect your energy, your time by learning to [00:08:00] say no completely guilt free. In my thirties, I used to say yes to every [00:08:05] opportunity thinking I had to do it all.
But I end up burnt out, stretched too [00:08:10] thin. Learning to say no allowed me to focus on what really matters. [00:08:15] And that was me and my future.
Number 15, be [00:08:20] curious, but not judgmental. Approach life with curiosity instead of [00:08:25] judgment. When you're open to learning from people experiences, you'll grow in ways.
[00:08:30] You never expect it. I used to judge ideas that seem outside of my comfort [00:08:35] zone, like investing internationally. But when I leaned into curiosity instead, [00:08:40] I discovered opportunities that I have never considered before.
And this is why I [00:08:45] say traveling is a must in your life. You have to travel because [00:08:50] traveling allows you to have your own perspective. When you don't travel, you only have the [00:08:55] perspective that other people give you.
Number 16, embrace change. Even when it's [00:09:00] uncomfortable, listen, change is an animal it's going to happen and resistant, it only [00:09:05] makes life harder. You need to lean into it, adapt and trust.
That is [00:09:10] leading you somewhere better. You see, for me, moving to a new country was terrifying [00:09:15] at first, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Every [00:09:20] major growth moment I've had started with embracing change.
[00:09:25] Number 17, you are the architect of your own life. No one [00:09:30] is responsible for your happiness, your success, or your fulfillment. You [00:09:35] have the tools to design the life you want.
It's up to you to use them. When I realized [00:09:40] I was the one holding the pen, my whole perspective shifted. You can't [00:09:45] blame others for the blueprint of a house that you're building.
Number 18, [00:09:50] rest is productive. In a world that glorifies hustle, it's [00:09:55] easy to forget that rest is a part of the process. Trust me, I've done it myself.
Taking time to [00:10:00] recharge isn't lazy. It's necessary. I used to work myself into the ground thinking [00:10:05] it was the only way to succeed.
But the truth is I do my best when I'm rested and [00:10:10] focused. Now I schedule downtime. Like I schedule all my meetings.
Like I literally will [00:10:15] schedule a nap in my calendar. Number 19, your net worth is your [00:10:20] net worth. I know you've heard this a bunch of time, but the people, you know, and how you show up for [00:10:25] them can open doors money never could.
Relationships are one of the greatest [00:10:30] investments humans can ever make. Some of my biggest opportunities came from [00:10:35] relationships I built many, many years ago. You never know when you might need [00:10:40] the key to your next chapter, and somebody else that you had a connection with is actually [00:10:45] holding that.
Number 20, confidence comes from action. [00:10:50] Confidence isn't something you're born with. Don't let nobody tell you that.
It's something you build by showing [00:10:55] up and doing the work. Even when you're scared. I wasn't comfortable when I closed my first real [00:11:00] estate deal or launched my first business, but I acted anyways.
And every step [00:11:05] forward made me believe in myself just a little bit more. Confidence is like a muscle. [00:11:10] You got to use it to grow it.
Gratitude [00:11:15] unlocks fulfillment. It's easy to focus on what's missing, but real happiness [00:11:20] comes from appreciating what you already have. Gratitude shifts Like your whole [00:11:25] mindset, it opened doors for even more, more abundance.
There was a time in my life where [00:11:30] I felt stuck, like nothing was going right. But I started ending each [00:11:35] day by writing down three things that I was grateful for. It wasn't a [00:11:40] magic fix, but it changed how I saw everything around me.
Number 22 is going to be hard, but [00:11:45] you got to learn to listen. We often listen to people just to respond, not to actually [00:11:50] understand. But when you truly listen to learn, connect deeper, you'll gain [00:11:55] insights you'd otherwise just be completely missing out.
Early in my career, I was so focused on [00:12:00] being heard that I didn't listen enough. But when I started really hearing what people [00:12:05] were saying, my relationships and my results improved dramatically. Number [00:12:10] 23.
I see people with this problem all the time. Focus on solutions, not [00:12:15] problems. When you're faced a challenge, right?
It's easy to get stuck on what's wrong, [00:12:20] but progress comes when you shift your energy and find solutions. In one of my first real [00:12:25] estate deals, everything that could go wrong did. Instead of panicking, I sat down, [00:12:30] I listed out every single possible solution, I worked through them one by [00:12:35] one, and that mindset saved the deal.
And it taught me a valuable lesson about resiliency. [00:12:40] Number 24, be kind even when it's hard. Kindness [00:12:45] costs you nothing, but can mean everything to someone else.
You never know what [00:12:50] someone's going through, so choose kindness whenever you can. I've had days where a [00:12:55] small act of kindness from a stranger or a friend completely turned my day around. It's a [00:13:00] reminder that the small things matter.
Number 25. [00:13:05] Discipline beats motivation. Motivation is fleeting.
It's there one day and it's [00:13:10] gone the next. Discipline on the other hand, is what keeps you moving forward when motivation [00:13:15] fades away. I mean, listen, there are mornings when I don't feel like getting up [00:13:20] early or putting in that work.
But I do it anyways, because discipline is what gets [00:13:25] results. You can't rely on motivation alone, I'm telling you, you can't. Number [00:13:30] 26, I used to hate hearing this.
Money is a tool, not a goal. [00:13:35] But it's true. Chasing money for the sake of it will leave you completely empty.
[00:13:40] Instead, view money as a tool to create freedom, opportunities, and [00:13:45] experiences that line with your values. You see, in my 20s, I thought money would solve all my problems, but [00:13:50] in my 30s, I realized it's not the money. It's what you do with it that counts.
[00:13:55] Now I focus on using it to build the life I actually want. Number [00:14:00] 27, stop overthinking and start doing. The more you think, the more you [00:14:05] delay progress.
Clarity comes from action, not the other way around. When I [00:14:10] started my first business, I spent weeks trying to perfect every detail before taking [00:14:15] my first step. Eventually, I realized I just need to start.
Taking that messy, imperfect [00:14:20] action taught me more than all the planet in the world could ever do. Now, [00:14:25] this one may sound a contradiction to the one before, but number 28 is patience is a [00:14:30] superpower. You see, good things do take time.
In a world that rewards [00:14:35] instant gratification, patience is a rare and valuable trait that sets you [00:14:40] apart. Some of the biggest successes in my life come years after the initial effort. Trust [00:14:45] the process even when it feels slow.
Consistency over time always wins. [00:14:50] I call it delayed gratification. Number 29.
I believe this one changed everything for [00:14:55] me in my life. Your mindset shapes your reality. What you [00:15:00] believe about yourself and the world directly affects what you achieve.
[00:15:05] A positive growth oriented mind creates opportunities where others see [00:15:10] obstacles. In my early years, I had a scarcity mindset. I always worried [00:15:15] there wasn't enough to go around.
By shifting to an abundance mindset, it changed [00:15:20] everything. Suddenly, I saw opportunities instead of competition, and my life [00:15:25] expanded in ways I could never, ever imagined. Number 30, learn something [00:15:30] new every day.
The moment you stop learning. It's the moment you stop growing. [00:15:35] Make it a habit to learn something new daily, no matter how small it is.
I [00:15:40] committed to reading just 15 minutes a day. And over time, that habit [00:15:45] turned into a wealth of knowledge. And honestly, it shaped my career in life.
The [00:15:50] compound effect of learning is real. It helps you when you go out and you network because you can really [00:15:55] talk about many different topics that may come up. Number 31, I had to learn this [00:16:00] myself, forgive, but don't forget, holding onto grudges only [00:16:05] weighs you down, but that don't mean you have to forget the lesson.
You need to forgive at your own pace, [00:16:10] but let the experience guide you moving forward. There was a time when I carried resentment [00:16:15] for someone who wronged me in business. When I finally let it go, it felt like Weight have been [00:16:20] lifted off of me, but I still use what I learned from that situation to protect [00:16:25] myself in the future.
Number 32, invest in relationships and not just [00:16:30] resources. Some of the greatest returns in life come from the relationships you build, [00:16:35] whether it's personal or professional, the effort you put into a meaningful connection. [00:16:40] To me, it always pays off.
One of my mentors once told me, people forget what you [00:16:45] say, but they'll remember how you made them feel. That's true. That advice [00:16:50] has stuck with me and shaped how I approach every single relationship in my life.
[00:16:55] Number 33, chase purpose, not popularity. Popularity [00:17:00] fades, but purpose is lasting. If you focus on building something meaningful, [00:17:05] the recognition will come as a byproduct, not the actual gold.
You see, in my [00:17:10] 20s, I thought being known was the ultimate success, right? You're at the top of the mountain. [00:17:15] Now I realize making an impact matters far more than being noticed.
[00:17:20] Number 34, Laugh more, stress less. Life is [00:17:25] too short to take everything so seriously. Laughter isn't just a stress reliever, it's a way to [00:17:30] connect with others and find joy in every day.
Some of my [00:17:35] best memories are the times when things didn't go as planned, but we found a way to laugh through it [00:17:40] anyways. It's just a reminder that perspective is everything. Number [00:17:45] 35, trust your gut.
I know sometimes we all get that feeling. But your [00:17:50] intuition is often smarter than you realize. If something doesn't feel right, or if it feels [00:17:55] absolutely right, trust that feeling.
One of my best real estate deals happened because I trusted my [00:18:00] gut. On paper, it looked completely risky. But something told me it [00:18:05] was the right move.
And it turned out to be one of my most profitable investments yet. Number [00:18:10] 36. I practice this till today.
Focus on adding value. [00:18:15] The more value you provide to others, the more [00:18:20] success you'll attract. It's not about what you can get, it's about what you can actually give.
When [00:18:25] I started hosting meetups, my only goal was to help others. I had no idea [00:18:30] that those meetups would lead to partnerships, referrals, and stronger network than I [00:18:35] could ever imagine. Adding value is always the right move.
Number [00:18:40] 37. The hardest days teach the most. Your toughest [00:18:45] moments are often your biggest teachers.
Don't run from the struggle. It's where [00:18:50] growth actually happens. When I hit rock bottom at 30, I thought [00:18:55] it was the end.
Looking back, those challenges gave me the tools and resilience [00:19:00] I needed to succeed later on. See, the hardest days really prepare [00:19:05] you for the best days. Number 38, take care of your mental [00:19:10] health.
I know as men, we seem to neglect this, especially black men, but it's just [00:19:15] like your physical health. Your mental health needs care and attention. Don't be afraid to [00:19:20] seek help, set boundaries, and prioritize yourself and your peace.
[00:19:25] In my 30s, I learned the power of saying no to protect my mental space. [00:19:30] It's not selfish, it's essential. Number 39, be [00:19:35] open to unconventional paths.
The path to success doesn't always look the way you expect. [00:19:40] Stay open to new opportunities, even if it takes you in a direction you never [00:19:45] planned on going. You see, when I started investing internationally, it wasn't a part of my plan at [00:19:50] all.
But being open to that opportunity led to some of the most rewarding projects [00:19:55] that I'm actually doing right now. Okay, we're here at number 40 and this one [00:20:00] is one of the most important lessons and one of the most important decisions you'll ever make in your [00:20:05] life. And that's choosing your life partner.
Out of all the decisions you make in your life, [00:20:10] choosing your life partner is one of the most important. And The person you decide to spend the rest of your [00:20:15] life with will shape your happiness, your growth, and even your legacy. A [00:20:20] true partner is someone who challenges you, supports you, and grows with you.
They're [00:20:25] not just there for the ride, they're there building the future with you. My wife has been my greatest [00:20:30] teammate, my biggest supporter, and without her, a lot of the new stuff that I achieved, you would have [00:20:35] never seen. I would have never been possible.
We celebrate our wins together, we work through the [00:20:40] challenges as a team, and we consistently push each other to be better. When you choose the [00:20:45] right partner, their success becomes your success, and your journey [00:20:50] becomes something you truly share. These 40 lessons represent years of [00:20:55] mistakes, growth, and experiences that have shaped who I am today.
[00:21:00] I'm sharing them with the hope. that they'll inspire you to live with purpose, [00:21:05] courage, and intention. Now, I want to hear from you.
Which one of these lessons [00:21:10] resonates with you the most? Drp a comment below and let's start a conversation. If you're on your [00:21:15] own journey of growth and discovery, make sure you hit that subscribe button because there's much more [00:21:20] to come.
Thanks for watching and I'll see you in the next video.
