You ever sit down to do something important, like really important, and then 12 minutes later you're deep in a YouTube rabbit hole titled How Shrimp See the World? Yeah, me too. And I'm not proud to admit this, but I've read more Reddit threads about productivity than I've actually been productive.
You know what that's called? That's called delusional optimism mixed with chronic distraction. It's a cocktail.
And baby, I was shaking that thing like a bartender on aderall. But here's the thing. Eventually, I got tired of being my own punchline.
So, I decided to train my focus so hard it looks like witchcraft. Like people would watch me and go, "Is that guy doing a spell or just working? " Let's talk about it.
The breakdown. Okay, so here's what happened. I hit a wall, like a real one, not metaphorical.
I walked into a glass door at Starbucks because I was texting, but also a metaphorical one. Life started feeling like one of those browser tabs you forget is open and it's just playing static in the background while your brain is buffering at 3% battery. I was busy but not effective.
I was doing a lot but getting nothing done. I was working on it but I had nothing to show for it. And I realized I wasn't tired.
I was unfocused. and focus. That's not some personality trait you either have or don't.
It's a skill, a brutal, messy, uphill skill you train like a muscle. And if you don't train it, the world will absolutely hijack your brain and turn it into a garbage fire of dopamine and regrets. The clown phase.
Let's rewind to the dark ages, otherwise known as my I can multitask era. I thought I was slick. Laptop open, phone buzzing, six tabs up, lowfi beats in the background, responding to texts mids sentence like I was the CEO of a startup that only sells anxiety.
Spoiler alert, multitasking is a scam. It's just your brain playing pingpong with itself until you cry. It's like trying to juggle while also sword fighting.
And what did I get for all that chaos? stress, acne, unholy caffeine dependency, and a to-do list that looked like a CVS receipt. I once spent three hours planning how I was going to be productive.
Made a color-coded schedule, set timers, printed it out, laminated it. Then I took a well-earned break, and watched eight episodes of a baking show where people cry over undercooked tarts. Chaos.
Pure clownery. and I wore the red nose proudly until I didn't the shift. At some point, I don't know when, but something snapped.
It was 1:00 a. m. I was laying in bed scrolling Tik Tok, eating shredded cheese straight from the bag like a raccoon.
And I had this moment, this tiny, spicy, heartbreaking moment where I thought, "Is this who I am now? " Like, "Is this it? " distracted, anxious, full of cheese and regrets, and I don't know what hit harder, the existential dread or the dairy.
But I knew I couldn't keep doing this. I was giving my worst self to my biggest goals. And that's criminal.
So, I made a decision. I'm going to train my focus like an athlete, like a sniper, like a weird monk with a MacBook. The hacks that aren't really hacks.
Okay, this is where people expect five productivity hacks that'll change your life. But I'm not going to give you hacks because hacks are like duct tape on a sinking boat. I'm giving you real stuff, the unsexy stuff, the stuff that works.
One, you need to treat your brain like a toddler with a knife. It has access to powerful things, but no idea how to use them. So don't trust it to just stay focused.
Remove temptation. Turn off notifications. Put your phone in a drawer like it's in timeout.
Create an environment where distractions can't survive. Two, set stupidly small goals. Don't say, "I'm going to write a novel today.
" Say, "I'm going to open the dock and write one bad sentence. " Trick your brain. Lure it in like a raccoon with a shiny object.
Once you start, you'll keep going. Momentum is magic. Three, protect your energy like it's Beyonce at a Target.
You don't owe anyone your constant availability. Turn on do not disturb. Say no to random calls.
You're not a human notification center. Fourth, stop romanticizing burnout. Being exhausted is not a personality.
You're not deep because you haven't slept. You're just cranky. Five, single task like your life depends on it because it kind of does.
Block out time, do one thing, finish it. Celebrate like you just invented fire. Tiny wisdoms.
You want to know something weird? Most people aren't lazy. They're overwhelmed.
They don't need motivation. They need clarity. Once your brain knows what the hell it's supposed to do, it stops panicking.
Here's another. You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
I know that one hurt me, too. You can dream all day, but if your Tuesday at 3 p. m.
is a mess, nothing changes. Also, your phone is not evil. You're just not in charge.
Take back control. Be the one using it, not the other way around. And my favorite, focus is a rebellion.
It's a way of saying, "I will not let this world hijack my mind. " That's punk as hell. Final rant.
Truth drop. Look, this isn't about being perfect. This isn't about becoming some monk who wakes up at 4:00 a.
m. to journal and dry brush their soul. It's about being real.
About asking yourself honestly, what would my life look like if I just finished the things I started? Imagine that. Finishing what you start.
Doing what you said you'd do. becoming the version of you that trusts themselves. Not because you got lucky, not because some billionaire productivity guru said a magic word, but because you trained your damn focus.
You built it. You earned it. You fought for it.
And now you walk into a room, you sit down, and you work. And it looks like magic, but it's not magic. It's mastery.
And that that's way more impressive. So go on, train it. fight for it.
Make your focus so ruthless, so sharp, so unshakable that people stare and go, "Wait, what the hell is that guy doing? " And you smile and say, "Working. " All right, that's it.
We're done here. You've heard the gospel. You've survived the rants.
You've laughed, maybe cried, definitely judged me a little. But now it's your turn. So, here's your official prescription from Doctor Joe.
Step one, throw your phone across the room. Not hard enough to break it. We're not trying to start a GoFundMe.
But hard enough that your brain goes, "Oh, we're serious today. " Step two, chug some water like you've just been rescued from a desert of bad decisions. You're not dehydrated.
You're crisis thirsty. Big difference. Step three, do one single thing that's been rotting on your to-do list, like a forgotten banana in your backpack.
You know the one, that project, that email, that form you were supposed to submit six presidential terms ago. Not all of it. Don't go hero mode.
Just start. Touch it. Acknowledge it.
Open the damn tab. Because listen, starting is a spell. You start and suddenly the demons of distraction get real quiet and they go, "Wait, she's moving?
Are we doing things now? " Yes, we are. And when, not if, but when your brain tries to ambush you with a sudden craving to deep clean your closet or learn ancient Mesopotamian for no reason, you look it straight in the eyeballs and whisper, "Not today, clown.
" Say it with your chest. Say it like a warrior with a deadline. Because this is it.
This is your comeback montage. This is the moment in the movie where the underdog stops crying in the locker room and starts doing push-ups while dramatic music plays. No, there won't be a crowd cheering.
No, no one's going to give you a gold star, but you'll know. You'll feel it. That little shift, that quiet confidence, that power that comes from showing up for yourself.
And if you do that consistently, even a little bit, people are going to start looking at you like you've got some secret. They're going to say, "Damn, how do you get so much done? How are you always so locked in?
You've changed. What's your trick? " And you'll just look up, smirk a little, and say, "I trained my focus.
That's it. " No spell, no app, no fairy dust, just intention and consistency, and a whole lot of not today clown. So, go be dangerous.
Be clear-headed. Be a productivity goblin with a vengeance. Focus so hard it looks like you know a secret no one else does.
Because honestly, you kind of do now. Catch you next time. Now go be a wizard nerd and don't forget your water.
