my parents forgot to bring me to their wedding and then told everyone I was sick as a coverup so I exposed them on social media and now everyone will remember how terrible they are posted by you/ forgotten child9 I know this seems like a weird situation but I just feel so angry and depressed that I need a vent even if no one is listening so I 17f was recently forgotten on the day of my parents wedding my parents have been together for about 25 years but they never actually got married that's why when my dad
50m proposed to my mother 49 F on their anniversary which they have always celebrated on the date my mother found out she was pregnant with my eldest sister even though they were already together before everyone including me was elated and celebrated the occasion with great joy this happened all the way back in February they immediately jumped into wedding planning deciding very early on to have a small event in Hawaii with just the closest family and friends for an intimate ceremony almost immediately my mother asked my sister 25f to be her maid of honor and my
dad asked my brother 22m to be his groomsman I wasn't surprised or offended by this my sister had always been a mommy's girl and they both enjoyed spending time together shopping and socializing so they had a very close Bond the same goes for my father and brother they always played football together and messed around with cars my father even trained my brother's team for a while in middle school that had always left me as the odd one out I tried to insert myself into my family's hobbies and the groups they had within our home but
I was always rebuffed maybe they could sense that my interest in their activities wasn't all that genuine or maybe they just didn't care either way I was used to being the last and least important member of my family mom had sis dad had bro my parents had each other and my two siblings were closer to each other than they ever were to me leaving me very lonely and isolated in my own home during the preparation for the wedding it was initially suggested that I'd be the flower girl but my sister thought that role would be
more appropriate for her daughter 3F so that idea was quickly tossed aside later on my maternal grandmother suggested that I might read a poem or give a short speech during the ceremony but both my parents refused because they wanted the wedding to be low-key and they didn't think a Cheesy and sappy speech would fit their Vision their literal words I was still okay with all of this even though it hurt to know I would be the only member of the family to not actually be part of the wedding party or have any role at all
on the day as the day approached my parents and siblings got more and more caught up in all the wedding planning I noticed my mom didn't invite me dress shopping and that whenever they had discussions about the venue or the event I was left out so I decided to see if they would realize that I wasn't being involved at all and kept quiet waiting for them to ask me something anything about the wedding but that never happened the wedding was set for 3 weeks ago at the end of August the day before the departure my
mother casually asked if I had my luggage ready because we couldn't be late to the airport I bluntly told her that I hadn't prepared anything she looked confused for a second and then snapped at me for not being prepared I then asked her if I even had a ticket and her face went pale yep they hadn't even bought me a ticket and I'm not even sure if I had a room or any accommodations once there even though I was the only person in my family without a stable income I work as a part-time babysitter my
parents had bought first class tickets for my siblings and a couple of other friends attending the wedding but had forgotten me my mom told me not to make a big deal out of it and that they could just find me a lowcost last minute ticket from a cheap airline but I just repli by asking her then what do I even have a dress for the ceremony she had gone with my sister to buy hers and all the other female guests months ago but I wasn't included that's when my father came in and told me to
suck it up saying that I've never been a girly girl so I could just wear whatever I got mad at this because even though I'm not the most feminine girl on the planet I would have loved to be included in such an important part of my parents wedding it wasn't about being feminine it was about the fact that I had been excluded from everything that had been going on for months we all got into a fight with them calling me entitled and accusing me of making myself small intentionally so they would forget me as if
that's a valid excuse for ignoring a child they ended up telling me that if I was going to keep this attitude I might as well skip the whole thing alt together to which I responded with a defiant fine went to my room the next morning they all left for Hawaii without me the ceremony was really small but they all posted loads of pictures on Instagram and Facebook about how perfect and magical the whole week had been people quickly noticed that I wasn't in any of the photos and asked my parents why they replied that unfortunately
I had caught Co before the trip and had to stay behind my blood boiled at this I don't know why this was the straw that broke the camels back but what it was I decided to take a covid test and posted a picture of myself holding the negative test captioning it not sick at all just forgotten I tagged everyone who had questioned my absence from the trip and the wedding in the picture and for good measure also every person invited to it I also wrote in the comments about how my parents had literally forgotten about
me until the day before the trip and how they had actually Uninvited me most people were on my side While others couldn't believe it and thought there must be more to the story than what I was saying but one thing is for certain I completely ruined my parents wedding and their day was overshadowed by my confession At first I felt quite satisfied with myself for standing up for myself but after a barrage of messages from my family calling me every name in the book and later when they came back furiously attacking me for my immature
actions and spoiled Behavior My Pride deflated quickly and I began to feel awful I hate my family and I hate being in this house but I'm a minor and can't leave just yet I do feel like I could have handled the situation better though and now I feel so depressed that I'm second guessing everything I did did from not speaking up earlier to the way I exposed them I also feel guilty about the lack of connection between my family and me and I wonder if I could have done more am I run for ruining my
parents wedding when they forgot about me update 5 days later hi everyone I wanted to write an update earlier but I'm still kind of a mess at the moment however since my post had such an overwhelming response and so many people commented and sent me messages I figured I should share the latest developments first of all let me start by thanking everyone who commented on my post and shared their own experiences or perspectives on my situation thank you so much a few days ago I could barely find the energy to get out of bed and
my family's comments had really made me believe that I was guilty for everything that had happened but after seeing the responses to my post and all the support you guys gave me I felt somewhat reaffirmed in my actions and feelings towards my family I'm still fighting feelings of guilt and depression but whenever I start to spiral I think about how much this community of strangers has had my back and I try to calm myself down with your words thanks to your input and advice I finally decided to call my Grandma and tell her the full
story just to clarify a point before going on I mentioned this in the comments but I feel like I should put it here too my grandma 77f did not attend the wedding she lives several states away and has mobility issues so she doesn't travel anymore we visited her around Easter and that's when she suggested I might read a poem at the ceremony but that was the last time I saw her in person before all this she's always been very loving to me and has called out my parents in the past for their favoritism however it's
hard for her to play a more active role in my upbringing since she lives so far away I'm also always worried about bothering her due to her age and health condition she had a minor stroke a few years back and is now back to normal but I still worry anyway I called her and laid out everything that had happened with the wedding including how my parents didn't even buy me a ticket to go with them she came to the same conclusion that most commenters did that it was simply impossible they had forgotten and that they
did it on purpose I cried on the phone with her sharing how I was feeling how this is been going on forever how I feel in the aftermath and most importantly about my need to get out she was extremely sweet and comforting telling me I had nothing to worry about because she had my back 100% she advised me to take it easy but to make plans for my future and she said she'd help me after that conversation which lasted about 2 hours I felt better and I decided to follow her advice and start figuring out
plans for the next school year I have a friend who is going to lease a studio next to our future campus she has a great relationship with her parents but has five siblings and wants to be more independent which is why she decided to move out I asked her if I could move in with her temporarily and told her I would pay rent as soon as I got a job she immediately accepted and reassured me not to worry about rent or anything else until I was in a better position we had a good cry together
when I told her all about my parents wedding incident so this all happened a couple of days ago and I was planning to do the update then but my grandma called my parents and siblings to lecture them about how they were treating me after that my brother sent me a half-hearted apology saying he didn't know I wasn't included and thought I wouldn't have fun on the trip he also accused me of posting the picture just to create drama my sister on the other hand rated me claiming I keep trying to make my personal problems public
and pin them on the family when they are all innocent it's been weird with my parents ever since they came back from the trip at first they were furious with me berating me and now we've just been ignoring each other after my grandma called them they came into my room telling me that if I wanted to put this whole issue to rest I should shut up about it and that everything could have blown over by now if I had just kept quiet I simply asked them to leave my room and then I called my grandma
again to tell her what had happened she told me that she and my uncle had bought plane tickets to come down and see me this is something I'm actually scared about because my grandma's health is not the best and this kind of effort is a lot for her I know how complicated it is for her to get on a plane so I tried to dissuade her from coming and told her everything would be okay but she wouldn't listen she said she was long overdue for a conversation with my parents and that she wanted to see
me I'm stressed for her and I feel like I forced her to take a long uncomfortable trip because of me maybe I should have dealt with this myself I do want to see her and I want nothing more than to hug her right now but I'm worried about her at least my uncle my mom's older brother is coming with her but I hope she doesn't exhaust herself or that nothing happens to her because that would break me they arrive tomorrow and haven't informed my parents about their trip my grandma asked me to keep it quiet
until she gets here I hope she can make my parents see the mistake in their actions or at the very least help me break the news to to them that I'm moving out soon and plan on going no contact with them I don't know I'm worried about her having to do so much for me and bothering her but I also appreciate and love her so much for doing all this for me second update 4 days later hello sorry for not updating sooner or commenting as you can imagine if you've seen my last posts it's been
a busy week to say the least a lot of people have been messaging me and commenting on the post and I haven't had time to respond to anyone until today I'm sorry for that you all have been so helpful and caring about me and my story and it's been truly eye openening and terrifying to see how many people have gone through similar stories of neglect and abuse I just want to thank you all for taking time out of your day to send kind words to this internet stranger this update will be long so I apologize
for that I'm just going to continue where I left off so my grandma called me to tell me she was coming here to see me and help me out I was really stressed about it because my Grandma has a hard time traveling so for her to take this trip meant she'd be under enormous stress and I felt responsible since I was the one who called her she arrived early Monday morning with my uncle and I went to pick her up at the airport not going to lie it was a very intense and emotional moment as
soon as I saw her I ran into her arms and broke down sobbing I don't even know if I managed to say anything because I was crying so hard and I had so many things I wanted to tell her thank you for coming thank you for being so good to me for having my back I'm sorry for making you take this trip I feel awful at home I don't know if my parents love me but I know you do am I an aair child all of these thoughts Plus the guilt and anxiety hit me all
at once when I saw her but she held me tight telling me everything was going to be okay my uncle hugged us as well I don't know how long we stayed like that but it must have been a while until my uncle gently told me we should get going we grabbed a cab and went to their hotel my Grandma had teary eyes and I could feel her breathing heavily which scared me but she kept hugging me and smiling the whole way she had reserved a double room so I could stay with her for a few
days once they were settled in and I had calmed down we sat down and I poured everything everything out for them I told them about the years of neglect and emotional abuse how miserable I had felt after the trip but also how I'd been feeling that way for years I explained how my parents were trying to make me feel guilty for everything that had happened how scared I was about my future but that my number one priority now was to move out of the house even if it came at the expense of my schoolwork I
also told them I had made arrangements to move in with my friend and was looking for a job finally I mentioned this post and how some people thought I might be an aair child which had led me to start questioning that as well it was a lot and I could tell they were both really affected by what I was saying but they kept comforting me and making me feel safe enough to open up after I unloaded all my concerns my grandma reassured me that I had nothing to worry about anymore and that she would always
be here for me first she assured me that I was not an affair child she told me that both my parents were thrilled when my mother got pregnant with me and that she knew cheating was a deal breaker for my mom and she believed it was the same for my dad according to her the favoritism began showing when I was around 3 or 4 years old my parents were constantly complaining about having a young kid in the house because they could take my older siblings to their activities but not me I was also very shy
and a bit of a crybaby which they had no patience for and it made me different for my siblings she told me that she knew my parents had saved more than enough for my college they're really well off so I had never been concerned about that until now worrying they might pull the funds she assured me that if they tried not to pay for my schooling she would take care of it and wouldn't let me drop out due to money concerns she also offered to help me with rent and give me an allowance to move
out she was very generous and I thanked her for everything but I also told her that this experience had been eye opening I never realized how privileged I had been financially all my life until now for all their faults my parents have pampered me financially all my life I went to private school have a rather large monthly allowance and have had a credit card for years with no objections to any of my expenses after reading the stories here I realize how good I've had it and how being dependent on them has made me vulnerable to
losing everything now I want to be independent not just from my parents but from everyone I feel like I need to learn to stand on my own writing this and reading about people in truly awful situations makes me feel like I've been a spoiled brat to be honest my grandma insist said that I accept her help until I don't need it anymore and I agreed but I'm still going to look for a job and work towards becoming fully independent we relaxed for a while at the hotel because we were all exhausted from the morning but
in the afternoon we grabbed a cab and went to my house my parents were extremely surprised to see my grandma and Uncle with me when I walked in but before they could say anything my grandma told me to go pack all my essentials while they talked to them I rushed upstairs and could hear my grandma and Uncle berating my parents for everything they had put me through at first I heard my parents trying to defend themselves but eventually they quieted down when I came downstairs with two suitcases and my backpack stuffed with everything important from
my room they were all in the living room my father was beat red and my mother was sobbing like a child when she saw me she extended her arms toward me saying she was sorry but I just said save it in the coldest tone I could muster my dad then snapped saying I didn't have to be a jerk to which both my uncle and Grandma immediately told him to shut up I left the house at that moment and waited for the cab outside at the hotel my grandma reassured me that I wouldn't have to go
back to my parents she told me they had assured her my college tuition was never in question and that they had planned to throw me an extravagant birthday party and give me a car as an apology for the wedding mess but my grandma saw right through it recognizing that they were just trying to save face and coming up with these things on the spot she made it clear that a party in a car wouldn't make up for everything they had put me through apparently the moment that broke my mother was when my grandma told her
that I had even questioned my paternity my mom started crying but my grandma told her it was no surprise given how they had repeatedly excluded me from family events since I was a child my grandma then told me she would ensure they made the payments to my school but she also offered me the option to completely cut ties with them and have her cover my expenses until I could support myself I asked her to do that I felt bad because it's not her responsibility but I truly don't want anything more from my parents although my
grandma is pretty well off she's not as wealthy as my parents still she reassured me that everything would be fine and that any money going to me would simply be deducted from my mom's inheritance the next day we went with my friend her parents and my grandma to see the studio we had planned to move into as soon as we arrived my grandma immediately said absolutely not I knew from the pictures that the studio was small and dirty but when we saw it in person we found water damage mold in the bathroom and kitchenet and
rust on the old appliances I had figured I could live with it for a while but the adults pointed out something that changed both my and my friend's Minds The Studio was street level in a bad neighborhood in a building that didn't seem particularly safe with bullet holes on the walls which I didn't even realize until my friend's dad pointed it out so my grandma and my friend's parents said they would help us find an apartment in a better location and cover the extra costs both my friend and I want to be independent but we
understand that with likely minimum wage jobs in such a high demand area we won't be able to afford anything better on our own the plan now is to look for a two-bedroom apartment my friend and I will pay what we had originally budgeted for the studio and her parents and my grandma will cover the difference I know it's still quite spoiled of me to expect help from my grandma but after seeing the studio in person I truly wouldn't have felt safe living there my friend's parents who were somewhat aware of what I was going through
told me that I could move in with them until we find a suitable apartment for which I'm extremely grateful my grandma is going back in a couple of days and I've been staying in the hotel with her since she arrived apparently my friend her parents and my grandma had already discussed this to make sure I had a safe place to stay until we find an apartment which is still in the works since then I've been moving the rest of my stuff from my parents house and setting up my space at my friends every time I
go back my mom keeps crying and apologizing and even my father has said sorry but I remained distant and cold toward them my sister called and said that our mother was a mess and that I was a jerk for what I had done done but before she could say anything else I hung up and blocked her I was going to block my brother as well but then I saw that he had sent me a very long message apologizing over and over for everything he had done and for not realizing how poorly our parents had been
treating me he said he's been doing a lot of self-reflection since grandma called and realized he was wrong for assuming I didn't want to go on the trip and for just allowing our parents to exclude me for all those years I sent a brief reply thanking him for his words but told him I need space and I'm not ready to accept his apology I feel like he might be genuine because he's never been nasty to me the way my sister has just aloof still I feel like I need to keep him at a distance for
now keeping a bridge open with my family seems like the right thing to do with everything being so fresh maybe in the future he'll show me he's just as bad as everyone else and I'll block him but as long as he respects my boundaries I feel better not cutting him off completely I've also made an appointment with a therapist who specializes a neglected teens and I have my first preliminary visit next week again funded by my grandma this makes me feel even more eager to find a job ASAP to take the burden off her even
though she constantly reassures me that she's happy to do all of this for me that's where things stand right now I'm not sure if I'll update again maybe when I start classes or move into the apartment but for now I'm just trying to enjoy my time with my grandma and uncle and focus on growing while working through the guilt and depression that have played me for so long I want to thank this community once again for being so kind and helpful to me and to everyone who messaged me with your own personal stories of getting
kicked out or having to figure things out too early you've helped me feel a lot less alone you've made me realize that things can get better if I work hard for it I do feel a bit spoiled for having such an amazing support system with my grandma uncles and my friend but you're all right reaching out has been the best decision I could have made opening up to those who love me and to all of you online friends has truly saved me so thank you I'm more grateful than words can ever express
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