How soon do Avoidants break No Contact? (When will they reach out to you)

hello and welcome to my channel where I talk about all things attachment Styles and no contact when I was going through a breakup and no contact with the dismissive avoidant one of the most common questions that came up from time to time and one of the most common questions I get on a regular basis is how long will it take to hear from a dismissive avoidant during no contact so today I'm going to share some insight and my perspective on how long it might take for you to hear from a dismissive avoidant first it's really

important to consider that no to avoidance are the exact same everyone has different lived experience which manifest as different core wounds to varying degrees attachment Styles also exist on a spectrum and can be fluid they can change from person to person relationship to relationship so keep in mind that as you're watching content about attachment styles that not everything may be fully applicable to you with that said let's get started first I can't tell you how many days exactly it'll take for you to hear from a dismissive avoidant now I know there are a lot of

no contact coaches out there who will tell you that anytime between 45 to 60 days are when they'll come back and reach out to you in many cases that can apply but there's a lot of nuance to this what I can tell you is the duration for no contact and how long they reach out will be dependent on a few various factors such as some of the reasons for why no contact was needed in the first place were you dating were you in a relationship were you in a situationship or were you just hanging out

as friends also how deep was that relationship how did that relationship or connection end was it amicable or did it end in a fight an argument or was it highly toxic or was it just something that fizzled out slowly over time these are all factors that play a role into no contact and how soon someone might reach out when it comes to dismissive avoidance in particular one of the biggest factors into how long they will reach out is how good they are at soothing themselves through their coping strategies during no contact during no contact avoidance

can experience a range of internal conflicts and emotional reactions to those conflicts on one hand the absence of contact May alleviate feelings and discomfort associated with emotional closeness which provides temporary relief on the other hand prolonged absence of contact can evoke feelings of loss loneliness and longing which can trigger desires for reconnection the timing in which an avoidant reaches out during no contact is influenced by the interplay of their attachment related anxieties their coping mechanisms and their relational motivations given that some avoidance thrive in Independence it may actually take take them a little bit longer

to reach out now not every avoidant thrives when they're alone some actually feel anxiety even more but for those that have really good coping strategies to soothe during their loneliness and Independence may actually take longer to reach out during no contact this is simply because their coping strategies or sometimes called Creature Comforts can help them to relax and calm down whenever they feel stressed consequently this also means it'll take more time for them to process their emotions and to understand whether or not their life is better with or without you in it conversely those avoidance

that don't have the best coping strategies may actually reach out to you sooner simply because they're relying on other people to sooe them and they may start to interpret that no contact is actually working against them and may actually ruin their chances at possibly reconnecting again in the future the longer they go through no contact the the more they feel lonely the more they feel unhappy and the odds of them losing you forever become greater additionally external factors like support of friends and family perhaps therapeutic intervention if they start to go into therapy during this

time and how well distracted they are with things like work and hobbies will all play a role in how soon they reach out to you in many cases if the relationship was highly toxic highly abusive and and they felt deeply invalidated and rejected in that relationship the chances of them reaching out anytime in the near future are going to be far less however if the relationship ended on amicable terms and it was just two people that grew apart from each other you might find that this can go either way they could reach out a lot

sooner but they may need a little bit of time before they reach out to you to understand what life is like without you in it the thing about no contact with avoidance reaching is they kind of need to feel what life is like without you in it they kind of have to mourn you and they have to understand and grieve that loss of you in their life before they feel motivated to want to reach out which is why it's often so important to stick to no contact as best as you can if you want this

person to come back if you're using no contact to try and get someone back which I don't recommend ever but some people do it and if that's your motivation it is most important to stick with no contact as much as possible and when they do reach out to you those are times when you can break no contact to have some interaction with them now no contact is not a game it's not a manipulation tactic and it should not be used to try and win someone back the purpose of no contact is to detach move on

and process a breakup so that you can move forward with life in a much healthier way and have the space for two people to process and mourn a breakup that is truly what no contact is designed for because it's best to help people who have a hard time moving on from unhealthy abusive or traumatic relationships very often you'll find that people who are in relationships with dismissive avoidance are often stuck in a cycle they're in and out of these relationships over and over again and no contact can be a great way for them to finally

start moving on from relationship that isn't helping them be happy in life however there are times where both people one of them being a dismissive avoidant both agree to take no contact to really figure out if the relationship is meant to happen I would say in these cases where no contact is an amicable decision where both people agree to do no contact for a set amount of time that they take at least 30 to 60 days arguably the longer the better because the more you feel this person's absence in your life the better you're going

to understand how they were great in the relationship how they weren't so great and how a new relationship could be better and different than the one you had last time additionally if the relationship was really short like say Less Than 3 months to the point where you may not even really consider it a relationship or you weren't even official it may not actually help them to reach out to you at all no contact may not actually help you in this area because chances are the relationship wasn't long enough the bond wasn't strong enough and they

may actually take a lot longer to reach out simply because the magnetic energy that's exchanged in that relationship might not be strong enough to pull them back however I'm not going to say that this applies in every situation I have worked with people who have dated dismissive avoidance for Less Than 3 months went no contact when they pulled away to find that after around 2 months or 60 days that this person came back and wanted to have a committed relationship with them so the opposite can also be true with short-term relationships sometimes they don't have

the ability or haven't had the time to become deeply toxic to become deeply abusive or just there wasn't resentment built up that it can actually allow people to come back sooner because the relationship was a lot better than if you had been in a longer one that was toxic that was marked by a lot of turmoil and instability because sometimes long-term relationships it can take longer for dismissive avoidance to come back because they've had a long experience with that person and they need even more time to understand what it's like to be without that person

and so this is why there's sort of like a Goldie Lock Zone the relationship can't be too short can't be too long because there's a bit of a window as to how soon the dismissive avoidant will reach out now this isn't a specific window but what I've seen is for relationships that are 3 years around that time the dismissive avoidance will typically reach out anytime between 60 to 90 days now that is not a firm number that is an anecdotal number that I've Just Seen come up time and time again within my work and of

course within my personal no contact experience with another fearful avoidant it's also important to consider that as you're going through no contact especially if your breakup is really fresh right now there may be a part of you that wants them back and that's okay ignore the haters ignore the people that say you shouldn't want them back or you should just move on and find someone else it's okay to want someone back there's no shame in that I understand that when you're going through a breakup with someone especially if you didn't ask for it that you

want them back you want in your life and you're hopeful that no contact will be the reason that someone does come back to you I will say that no contact is a great way to show to someone that you respect their boundaries and their space especially if they've asked for it because by being persistent by constantly texting them or reaching out to them or even begging for them back you are indirectly telling that person that your needs for connection are more important than their needs for space dealing with a a breakup it's very messy at

times and there's no perfect way to deal with a breakup however no contact can provide both people to heal and allow them the space to detach and take the other person off of a pedestal so that you can see them both for their good qualities and their bad qualities from a really neutral perspective to the point where on the other side of no contact you may not want them back with the same intensity which is a much better place to be in you could still want them back you could still want them in your life

but you don't need them back you don't need them to validate you in order to be happy in life it would just be great to share life with that person and I would say that's a much healthier mindset to be in when you want to have a relationship with someone because it's those relationships where people lose themselves that lose their identity that are often the most abusive the most unhealthy and the most toxic and that's why no contact can be very necessary to help people find each other again when I started my no contact journey

I knew nothing about attachment Styles I knew nothing about no contact I was in a relationship with a fearful avoidant for a very long time and they said they didn't want to be together anymore they said they didn't love me and they didn't want to have anything to do with me through no contact by working on myself and learning new strategies to be better in relationships this person eventually came back around it also helped that during no contact I was working on myself and growing on Tik Tok and sharing about my no contact Journey which

I think kind of helped in my situation but just because you're not doing that doesn't mean you can't start to live your life and post about that online now social media is a great tool to really advertise in a way how you're growing and you're healing and detaching and sometimes this can be some of the reasons as to why people come back around through no contact feelings of curiosity begin to develop and they start to see you glowing up they start to see how life is so much better with you now that you've moved on

that they may actually want to be a part of that again and it really takes no contact for people to get to that point because when you're at the end of a relationship where people are muddled by their emotions and the relationship just is deeply unhappy it's hard to see people for their true value and worth in that relationship it's it's normal people become complacent they become unhappy and it's hard to see people for all of the good and the bad and so they can really focus on just the bad and that's why they want

to break up but no contact can be a great way to see people for their good once again but in order for that to happen they need to experience your absence and they need to understand what life is like without you in it they need to miss you essentially they need to grieve you and if you're constantly reaching out and you're breaking no contact it's going to be a lot harder for them to do that and it's only going to make them want to have even more space and Independence even more so with no contact

there's no magic time frame for some people I've seen as little as 4 months for other people I've seen over a few years until a dismissive avoidant reached out it really depends on the factors that warranted no contact how long the relationship was whether that relationship was marked by happiness or turmoil and how strong a dismissive avoidance coping strategies were during no contact that really determined how soon it was for them to reach out at the end of the day there's nothing you can do to bring someone back all you can do is really focus

on yourself which is why I say no contact is strictly about you it's about growing it's about leveling up it's about healing and it's about maturing in new ways that you couldn't have previously imagined if I hadn't gone through no contact I wouldn't be here right now making videos about this helping other people overcome their attachment wounds during this time so if you found this video helpful if you're currently in no contact with the dismissive avoidant and you rely on this content to better understand your situation feel free to drop a comment and share your

experience share with others what you're going through why you're doing no contact and what you're hoping to get out of no contact because I'm sure there's many other people in this same situation who want to learn about your experience too and so if you found value in this video feel free to drop the like button additionally if you're going through a breakup or you're in no contact with a dismissive avoidant and you want to learn about how you can get the most out of no contact feel free to check out the links in the description

you can book a one-on-one session with me lastly if you want to learn more about no contact and dismissive avoidance then feel free to check out these videos in the meantime I wish you all the best on your no contact journey and happy healing