My Friends and Family Have Been Mocking My Fiancé for the Past Three Years... | Reddit Updates

my friends and family have been mocking my fiance for the past three years right in front of his face for not understanding our native language but I just found out he's been fluent and understood them the entire time posted by /and o4 I 24f have been with Jimmy 25m for 3 years now we first met in college and we pretty much instantly hit it off I'm full Korean while he's half Korean even though he doesn't look like it at all I was slightly disappointed when I found out that he didn't speak Korean pretty much everyone

in my family speaks it so more than any anything I thought it would be an issue but it wasn't he told me that he didn't know it but that he was studying it which I thought was a nice gesture he met my parents for the first time and although they speak English they prefer not to speak it much my parents complained to me pretty much the entire night and even badmouthed him quite a bit because of his actions and lack of understanding I didn't know it at the time but I really defended him although most

dinners at my parents house involved them being fake nice to him I tried my best to stick up for him the first time my parents met his dad and his sister they spoke very poorly of them it was downright insulting his dad had some pretty rude SL weird behavior that was frowned upon I would always talk with my parents on the phone when we lived on campus often on speaker phone and Jimmy would just kind of play dumb even with my friends many of them were very rude to him after I told them he didn't

understand it he proposed to me at our favorite Park 3 months ago in Korean and I was so blown away by it I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world I cried with joy and happily accepted I was so proud of him fast forward to last week one one of Jimmy's longtime friends had returned from his assignment overseas and met us for dinner a really nice and respectable guy he started talking and just full-on speaking in Korean to Jimmy and I was taken aback I said oh he doesn't know much he's still learning

the guy scratched his head and said Jimmy is the guy who helped teach me Korean what are you talking about at first I didn't know what to think I was relieved and excited that Jimmy actually knew it but the more I thought about it the angrier I became when I confronted him about why he didn't tell me sooner he said that when his mother passed on his 18th birthday he stopped speaking it altogether and started telling people he didn't understand it he said it reminded him of her which is understandable but I don't know if

I can accept something like that when I told my parents my dad was overjoyed while my mother had a panick look on her face as she recalled all the nasty things they had said about him and his family in front of him my dad seemed to brush it off and fully understood Jimmy's reasoning for not speaking it anymore but I don't know if I can be so forgiving I feel like he's been secretly spying on me for the past 3 years he lied to me about it even my friends he treated everyone so kindly even

though they all at some point talked bad about him I don't know if he's Noble and romantic or if he's just been using it to his Advantage our relationship is otherwise perfect and it seems like such a silly minor detail to get upset over but I don't know any outside perspective or input am I wrong for not letting this go so lightly I think he should have told me way sooner commenter I can understand being upset about being lied too but I think what you're feeling is probably a lot of embarrassment about how your parents

and Friends acted sometimes people who are biracial are used to not being accepted by one or both sides of their cultures no matter what he does to some people Jimmy will never be Korean enough even though that's part of who he is you need to understand this because if you have kids and they look a little like him they might be treated like Jimmy one day too don't you wonder how your boyfriend was able to sit through all that abuse and not say anything and why he would still be with you after all that if

anything he has a right to be mad and judge you for having these kinds of people in your life but maybe he is a common enough person to know that when people say bad things about you it shows you more about their character than yours or maybe sadly he has seen this kind of negative and judgmental behavior before from other relatives I suspect that this might be the case he is used to people judging him because he's been judged all his life and he has learned to just brush it off talk it over and see

if you can use this to come to a deeper understanding of each other maybe you can use it to become a stronger person who can stand up to your relatives and friends more or at least be a better example perhaps you can gain a better understanding of heart and character this may put some distance between you but you can also choose to let it draw you closer update one week later first I want to say that I admit I was totally wrong for trying to make this about me and I realized my parents and friends

as well as myself were all horrible people which I agree with I spoke with Jimmy the same day I posted the thread I actually invited him over to my parents place for dinner but before that I stopped by his parents house to apologize to him his dad and his younger sister for everything because I felt so embarrassed and horrible I apologized profusely to his dad who did nothing but laugh his dad was incredibly understanding and actually spoke Korean quite well himself he even laughed saying that he understands why my parents were the way they are

he told me a story about when he first met Jimmy's mom's parents in Korea and how much she had warned him about their behavior he said she explained it to him and he understood and respected where their concerns were coming from in terms of wanting to preserve their language and Heritage he shared that it started off Rocky but they quickly became impressed when he surprised them by speaking Korean fluently he mentioned that his relationship with her parents is now stronger than ever especially since she passed away and he calls them twice a week just to

chat he said that when he heard I stood up for Jimmy he was proud of me even though he never said anything Jim's sister who is only 12 is super sweet and mature for her age she said that when Jimmy started dating me he also started teaching and talking to her in Korean again the way she described it was really precious his dad also teaches and talks to her but she especially enjoys when Jimmy does it as for Jimmy and me we have beening together to resolve our communication issues and have spent a lot of

time talking about our relationship I admitted all my concerns and he addressed them one by one telling me exactly what I needed to hear he apologized for keeping it from me for so long and assured me that he never did it maliciously he just didn't want to associate Korean with the negativity that my parents and friends brought which I find extremely understandable he said he viewed the language as something pure that he and his mother often shared and he didn't want to engage in it with my parents and Friends he admitted that it might sound

silly but I understood him on an emotional level he told me about how close he and his mom were we had never talked this in-depth about it before and I cried like a little baby because I could see how much he loved and missed her he mentioned that she always teased and warned him about the complications of marrying a full-blooded Korean when he was a teenager and he didn't truly understand until he met my parents and friends I even learned that Jimmy was born in Korea and lived there for 12 years I feel like our

relationship is stronger than ever my doubts and worries are gone and we're going to be a lot more open with each other I'm ashamed I ever doubt at him he has been speaking Korean to me a lot more exclusively since I apologized to him most people probably won't understand but he took me to visit his mother's grave and it was one of the most touching moments I've ever had with him I knelt beside him listening as he told her about me how he knew he had found the person he would make new memories with and

how he would have to go back on a promise I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life I couldn't stop we had dinner with my parents on Tuesday and Jimmy spoke to them in Korean for the first time my parents apologized for their past Behavior I think I didn't make it as clear as I should have in my original post but after I defended him they significantly cut back on their negative behavior Jimmy apologized for the years of disappointment teasing them for their original concerns he told them a little about his mom

and when he mentioned his mother's maiden name my father's eyes lit up he didn't really go into detail but he thinks he might have known her family it made him extremely chatty and open I've never seen my father so excited to talk to someone before in my life Jimmy also mentioned that his family is planning a trip to Korea this summer and he offered to pay for all of us to come with them my parents haven't been back in years and they happily accepted his offer Jimmy is wonderful really I'm lucky to have him and

I'll never let him go thanks for the advice edit Jimmy's apology to my parents for years of disappointment was made in a joking manner not something sincere it was meant as a joke and everyone laughed about it sort of like breaking the ice or easing the tension in the room commenter this is all fine and good but still your parents and friends who talk are pretty bad luckily your fiance is actually Korean enough and we don't need to belittle him to his face we Ops response my parents and friends were very wrong to talk badly

in Korean when they thought he couldn't understand I realized the magnitude of their actions and I've even told Jimmy that if he wanted us or just himself to go low or no contact with them I would totally support and understand I think my first post exaggerated the number of times they did this after I defended him the first time they cut back significantly if Jimmy is willing and able to forgive them then I'm just going to leave it at that there's no point in me forcing an issue that he doesn't seem concerned about he's a

much better person than I am for sure because I would hold it against them but Jimmy values family bonds quite highly and he wants to have a relationship with my parents and wants me to keep a good relationship with them as well as for my friends I'll be cutting many of them out of my life