[Music] thank you for watching and thank you for joining us here in holwood we uh tonight our our thoughts are with the families who lost loved ones in the horrible plane crash last night in Washington DC I'm sure you know around 9 p.m. last night American Airlines flight from Kansas collided with a Blackhawk army helicopter there were no known survivors it was the deadliest air crash in 24 years and so during a 40-minute press conference this morning president Trump spent uh two of those minutes offering words of comfort and sympathy to the victims and their
families and 38 minutes blaming Joe Biden and Pete budhha and diversity I'm not really sure Donald Trump knows he's the president because remember when he waited 10 minutes after the Wildfire started here in La before he started blaming Dei well I guess he learned from that lesson because this time he slept on it and then started pointing that little orange nub you have um today uh blame the diversity elements but then told us that you weren't sure that the controllers made any mistake you then said perhaps the helicopter Pilots were the ones who uh made
the mistake it's all under investigation I I I understand that um that's why I'm trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash because I have common sense okay and unfortunately a lot of people don't take it from a man who looked directly into an Eclipse you need common sense if I mean this is if a straight white male pilot had injected a little bleach into that helicopter none of this would have happened and by the way it may have been a straight
male white pilot may have been two of them for all he knows the cockpits the controled towers could have all been full of straight white men but Trump he you know he hears the word Blackhawk and he's like oh if that Hawk had been white seriously though are there people who voted for him good with this every time there's a shooting at a school they're like it's too soon to be talking about gun laws but never too soon for Trump to point his finger a terrible thing happened all he had to do is go out
there and say this is a tragedy offer some comfort to the families to the military families promis to get to the bottom of it but he can't do that he's because he's callous he's racist he's sexist and most of all he's stupid he's a deeply stupid man this is to blame this on Dei is like it's like blaming 911 on hummus it makes no sense I think maybe he gets jealous when a disaster gets more coverage than him he's like I'm the biggest disaster you point that camera at me right now you almost have to
hand it to him the sheer number of ways he finds to be a dirt bag it's kind of miraculous you think you've seen them all he's like Feast your eyes on this one and no one from his side calls him out on it even and the billionaires are scared of remember back um in 2021 meta suspended his Facebook account after he Maestro the riot on January 6th well Trump sued them and guess what happened they settled out of court meta has agreed to pay him $25 million 22 million of the dollars will go towards Trump's
Presidential Library that's liie BR in case you're wondering how to spell it according to the Wall Street Journal this deal has been in the work since November when Trump threatened medicine CEO Mark Zuckerberg he told him he wouldn't be brought into the tent until the case was settled so Zuckerberg scurried over to maral Lago with a big oversized check like he hit the Publishers Clearing House even at 78 years old Trump is still bullying nerds out of their lunch money this now is the not the this is the second most embarrassing thing Mark Zuckerberg has
done this year the first was taking this Photograph but it really is amazing we have a president just shaking these guys down like a mob boss and I wanted to understand how this is in any way acceptable so what I did is I went to meta aai which is owned and operated by Mark Zuckerberg and I typed in what does it mean when the CEO of a major tech company pays the president of the United States $25 million and this is the real response I got that's a hypothetical scenario and I'm not aware of any
real life instance of a CEO paying the president $25 million if you're referring to a specific news article or report I'd be happy to help you understand the Contex in general if a CEO were to pay the president a large sum of money it could raise serious ethical and legal concerns here are a few possible interpretations campaign donation if the payment was made during an election campaign could be considered a donation bribery or influence pedaling the payment was made in exchange for favorable treatment or influence over policy could be considered bribery or influence pedling which
are illegal philanthropic donation if payment was made to support a specific charitable initiative or cause Champion by the president could be considered a philanthropic donation it is essential to note that the president of the United States is a public servant and their primary responsibility is to serve the interests of the American people not to accept payments from private individuals or company that's from meta which just paid him $25 million maybe AI is smarter than we are already I don't know and then we have Elon Musk who gave Trump 20 $50 million and has reportedly been
working so hard he's sleeping at Doge headquarters in the building next to the White House he's sleeping at work and yet somehow still finds time to post 600 times a day on Twitter Elon loves telling people he sleeps at work I'm not sure he even has a house do he he has 12 children and no home he's like the old lady who lives in a shoe this morning at um uh in the Senate this morning we had a three ring circus at the confirmation hearing three of Trump's most mind-numbing nominees put on the show the
likes of which has never been seen in Congress before what a week I mean if you thought a blackout drunk for defense secretary was a bad call allow me to introduce you to Bobby brainworm comrade Tulsi gabard and cookie cash Patel this is the man Donald Trump wants to run the FBI look at him I mean he's already surveilling your soul he's quite possibly the least qualified candidate for any cabinet position ever he's an election denier who this morning uh refused to admit Joe Biden 1 in 2020 he refused to say those words he produced
a song with the j6 choir this is a group of singers who stormed the capital he denied knowing any of the details of that this morning and he wrote a children's book in tribute to Donald Trump this is a real book there they are together it's called the plot against the king it's the story of King Donald and a hero named Cash the distinguished Discoverer which is H it's like crappy Potter in the toilet of classified Secrets he has this man has an enemies list which is a great thing for an FBI director to have
and also seems to really love a good meme regarding his publication of his enemies list Mr Patel proclaimed The Manhunt starts tomorrow and reposted a video depicting him taking a chainsaw to his political enemies is that you cash Patel retr reposting that at the top of that page Senator I had nothing to do with the creation of that name is that you reposting it was my question and that's me at the top no one can just admit to anything he reposted that Meme and then we had Trump's pick for Director of National Intelligence this tulsy
gabard who Russian State tv referred to as our friend Tulsi she was evasive she was also a Democrat two years ago but now she's totally different I get this tells you all you need to know about the tone of these hearings this is Tom Cotton uh Republican chair of the intelligence committee I will note that during Senator Bennett's question answer there was two disturbances in the room the first sounded like a cell phone I would ask everyone on both sides of the dis if you have not silenced or turned off your cell phone please do
so now the second disturbance with the cry is of a small child we will welcome such disturbances because the cries of an infant are the sound of answered prayers that's a human person you know not if you're a parent they're not by the way it's a what a weird thing to say could you imagine working with that guy like could you imagine having him in your you'd never have a company Christmas party cuz no one would want to hang out with Tom but the main Maniac in the hot seat today was Robert Kennedy uh today
was round two for RFK a man whose views are so demented they should come with a warning from the Surgeon General Bob got off to a hot start this morning courtesy Washington senator Patty Murray you were accused of sexual harassment and assault by Eliza Cooney who was first hired as a part-time babysitter by your family when you were confronted about this accusation you said you were quote not a Church boy and that you quote have so many skeletons in my closet you then texted Miss Cooney in apology and indicated you had no memory of what
she described did you make sexual advances towards Miss Cooney without her consent no I did not and that story has been debunked but why did you apologize to her then I apologize for something else there was something else let me get this straight this woman lied about you sexually assaulting her when you to apologize for something else sorry I spilled fresa on your ottoman it was Robert Kennedy would not admit that he said autism comes from vaccines even though we have this I do believe that autism does come from vaccines all right he lies about
important things you can't get a straight answer out of Robert Kennedy Jr but you might be able to get one from Robert Robert Kennedy Jr Jr who we've invited to join us tonight and who is standing by live hello there um little Robert who is that is that you brain worm no no no no it's not the worm in your brain it's Jimmy Kimmel oh go away I'm busy where are you what are you busy doing if you must know I'm in CVS getting rid of all these poisons that you called medicine which poison specifically
are you getting rid of I like this one for instance uh-huh it's right here I'm just going to get it yeah yeah muscles are so big it's hard to pick things yeah I can see that yeah what is I know you're having trouble yeah medication for Lupus lupus God why are you throwing away lupus medication well if you did your research you would know that lupus was bioengineered in the Froot Loops Factory it's right in the name not lus no the lupus is not caused by Froot Loops they have nothing to do with each other
that's a good one don't make me laugh that's a knee slaper yeah all right okay right all right well so that you're getting rid of the medications huh if you walk with me this way you're also getting rid of something else okay pants are pretty tight huh yeah I keep them tight to make my muscles look bigger next up we're getting rid of not just medicine but sunscreen sayanora what's your problem with sunscreen SPF is a hoax I've never worn sunscreen a day in my life and look at me don't I look healthy not particularly
you are muscular though I do have to give you that I know look at me in my jeans yeah yeah I see that yeah yeah so all right hey stop that you're making a mess somebody's gonna have to clean that up I'm not stopping after big Pharma we're taking on big Aqua big Aqua yeah you heard me right big Aqua what what is that what is Big Aqua it's it's the water Lobby we're taking the fluoride out of the water and replacing it with piranas what you're going to put piranhas in our water supply you're
damn right I am why would you do that to discourage people from drinking it water is the worst thing you can put in your body now that's not no one that's false how can you I mean you have that water how can people stay hydrated you can't stay alive without water baby chick smoothies you take a baby chicken and maybe some mice you put them in a blender you turn it on you drink that I drink them with my Hawk Deathwing all the time what is your Hawk's name death Wing Deathwing you get death plus
Wing he AES death he has wings that's his name I understand okay death wings time ringy Dy Dy yeah I want wow you seem to you seem to have a hole in the whole side of your body there uh RFK oh my God I I got a mouse tail wow this is what your cousin Caroline said she said you put mice and baby chicks in a blender I guess it's true she also called you a predator I had to hunt her down for that no no don't please don't do that hey guess what one time
I ate the bee hole out of a live giraffe I climbed up there and I was like I don't need no it's not of the Gods I don't know why you would mention that and also it sounds dangerous to me please Kennedy's never die I just sent you an article about it check your phone you you did you sent me an oh oh all right hold on a sec pardon me for a second here oh my God this is a photo of a a very Sun damaged penis this is not on oh uh my mistake
I'm sorry that was for a order right now it's broken hot okay what in the world are you doing uhoh death wi to the [Applause] sky is that a quail or something all right well thank you uh RFK junor Jr [Applause]
