My ex-bf and ex BFF cheated and got pregnant 15 years ago and my family hid it from me.

my xbf and X BFF cheated and got pregnant 15 years ago and my family HIIT it from me I left home and cut them off now my mom wants me to reconcile with them 15 years ago my then 18f best friend 18f got pregnant by my boyfriend 20 M of 3 years and my family knew about it but didn't tell me so I ran from home now we are back in contact after 15 years in my 33f mom 59f demands i m my relationship with the xbf and X BFF this is a long story that

really started some 15 years ago it really impacted my 33f life so please bear with me when I was 18 and in my senior year of high school I really believed my life was on a good track I lived with with with my parents and four siblings 23m 22m 20f 14f and spent most of my days hanging out with my best friend Ashley 18f and are my boyfriend of 3 years Kyle 20m both Ashley's and Kyle's parents were best friends with my parent so I knew both of them since we were in diapers we spent

holidays together birthdays and visited each other all the time as we lived in the same town Ashley's been my friend for 18 years and and she truly was the person I trusted with everything sometimes our parents would joke that we are connected by The Hip as we were together all the time I've been dating Kyle for the last 3 years I believed he was the love of my life and the one I would eventually marry we were quite serious and even talked about getting married after he finished College he was a sophomore at that point

although I had every plan on going to University I was quite content with the idea of being married to Kyle and being a stay-at-home mom my parents loved Kyle and supported our relationship I really was happy I think I should note here that my sister 20f was also dating Kyle's brother 23m and that all our siblings were very close one day at the beginning of the school year I noticed that Ashley was being very melancholic and detached after a while of prodding she told me she was pregnant I was very surprised because I didn't know

she and her boyfriend broke up a while ago and I didn't know she had anyone else like that in her life I asked her who the father was and she didn't want to talk about it but in a way implied that the ex was the father she was absolutely distraught so I dropped the topic and just consoled her I was with her when she told her family and while her parents were disappointed they promised to support her in whatever she decides they tried to make her share the dad's name but she refused and made me

promise to stay quiet they did not know she had a boyfriend at one point I was there for her for the next 9 months I went with her for an ultrasound Doc's appointments I was there for her when she was bullied in school for being pregnant I helped her set up the nursery I was there when she was sick or just felt down I held a baby shower for her went shopping with her I even took some parenting classes with her we chose names together and she even asked me to be with her in the

delivery room I noticed that the pregnancy was really taking a toll on her emotionally and physically and I tried to support her in every way possible she was my best friend always there for me and I loved her some two weeks before for her due date I went to the mall to run some errands and ran into her ex although I promised never to contact her the knowledge of my friend's emotional state sent me into a fit of anger and I confronted him I gave him a piece of my mind told him what a piece

of he was for leaving his ex pregnant and alone and not caring for his unborn child he was shocked and said that he had no idea what I was talking about Ashley never told him about the pregnancy and when I told him she was 9 months pregnant at the time he said that it was not possible for him to be the father as they broke up over a year ago and had no relations since then I was confused but apologized for yelling at him in the middle of the mall after that he became NY said

some nasty stuff and mentioned that maybe I should ask Ashley's friend Kyle if he is the daddy I didn't really think about his words in any way Kyle and Ashley had been friends their entire lives we were always very close because of our parents relationship but they never showed any sign of being anything more that evening my younger sister 14f and I were preparing to have a movie night I began ranting to her about confronting Ashley's X and his words my sister who is usually very outspoken got quiet and didn't really respond to anything I

said after a while she excused herself and went to the bathroom I decided to go and get some snack and went downstairs to the kitchen and heard younger sister berading my mother this part of my memory is really fuzzy as I was dealing with lots of emotions my sister told my mom about me running into Ashley's ex and his words and told my mom she no longer wanted to hide from me the fact that Kyle was Ashley's baby's father I was shocked absolutely shocked I stumbled into the kitchen and demanded an explanation both my mom

and my sister became White as a sheet when they saw me and my sister started crying her eyes out my sister explained to me some things I also learned from other people later that appeared during the end of the summer break Kyle and Ashley attended the same house party got got drunk and slept together Ashley got pregnant and told Kyle but they were both ashamed and afraid of telling me they also didn't share this with their parents Ashley however couldn't keep the secret and told her mom and dad who told Kyle's parents and later to

mine as well this all happened when Ashley was in her first trimester by her second trimester all of my siblings Kyle's and Ashley's siblings knew about this everyone except for me I simply cannot explain the way I felt I was physically ill for the next 3 days and I couldn't speak to anyone my parents were apologetic but explained that they didn't want to see me hurt or ruin everyone's relationship I did not speak with Kyle or Ashley although they bombarded my phone with messages and calls and also came to my house I refused to see

them at one point Kyle's mom came to our house and my mom allowed her into my room while I was lying in my bed still ill and just emotionally drained from the Betrayal she tried to convince me to forgive them and how Ashley and the baby need me I said nothing 2 weeks later Ashley went into labor I learned from my parents that she had a hard delivery she lost a lot of blood and needed an emergency C-section Kyle apparently was at the birth I was distraught inconsolable because of the Betrayal by both because I

planned to be there and now physically and emotionally couldn't because I was looking forward to this moment for months so many reasons my older sister immediately went to the hospital to be with her boyfriend my other siblings weren't at home so I was left alone with my parents all I wanted was to lay in my bed or cuddle in my bed with my mom and cry all my feelings out my mom received a call from Ashley's mom she came to my room and told me that she and dad were going to the hospital ien was

perplexed and asked her to stay with me she said that Ashley's parents need all the support they can get and that we will discuss everything later I tried to tell her not to go and that I also need their support but she said not to be selfish and they left I was left alone at the house and I just couldn't comprehend what happened in the last few weeks I couldn't believe that my parent would go and support someone who hurt me so much while I was also here suffering am I really selfish to think like

that I don't know when but my sadness turned into rage the kind I never experienced before in a fit of combined emotions and feelings of betrayal I started packing my bags and decided to leave home it didn't take a while but I started having second thoughts and just sat in the living room feeling empty after a while I received a text from my sister the text said that Ashley gave birth to a healthy girl and that they were both okay she attached a pick of the newborn and told me they named her Sarah the name

Ashley and I chose some month ago she sent a second text a while later telling me that my parents and she were going to join Ashley's and Kyle's parents and going to a bar in the town to celebrate I don't remember much after that I think I was just consumed by everything and my memory is very foggy I left I took a train and left I stayed at a hostel in Phoenix for a while I got a job at a store and planned to finish High School there my parents siblings Kyle and Ashley tried to

contact me my mom was sending me a panicked voicemail demanding me to comeback they also reported me as a missing person but I don't think it went anywhere as I was 18 anyway soon afterward I met Dean 21m he also lived in Phoenix and had a complicated relationship with his family we really connected and became friends soon he helped me a lot at that time I struggled I had no idea how to take care of myself or how to literally be an adult he introduced me to his group of friends helped me finish High School

I moved in with him and his friends he helped me deal with my pain I really struggled at one point and also had some regrets I wanted to see a therapist but I most definitely couldn't afford it he was there for me and supported me through everything and I don't think I would have lasted long without him we began dating after a year he inherited some money from his grandpa and decided to move across the country to the big city although we weren't together for long he asked me to go with him I was a

bit reluctant because we both had a lot of emotional baggage and I was still very insecure in my situation but I did go we moved got jobs and tried to survive soon after my 21 birthday we decided to get married it was a crazy spontaneous decision but we did it I enrolled in University and Dean helped me pay for it he himself opened a company that took off and we were able to live more comfortably I was in uni and also worked a part-time job to contribute we had our ups and downs but somehow survived

after uni I started working in his company and we slowly built it up when I look back now I don't think I was in love with Dean when we got married I loved him but I wasn't in love but he was there for me always unconditionally and today I don't think I could love him more he is the love of my life we've been married for 12 years now and we have a 2-year-old son and a 6-month-old son sometimes I regretted leaving my family behind but I just couldn't go back it was very painful I

felt like my parent chose Ashley and Kyle over me I did go to a therapist when I was 25 and tried to deal with my emotions last year at the beginning of the pandemic I received an email from a 14-year-old girl named Evelyn she explained that she was my niece my older sisters and Kyle's brother's kid she knew about me and wanted to meet me although I was reluctant to speak to her we did exchange some emails let me note that she did not know what transpired 15 years ago so the conversations were pretty innocent

we talked about her school interest and she talked about my family I learned I had 10 nieces and nephews I also learned that Kyle married Ashley four years after I left and had two sons besides Sarah my parents continued to have a friendship with Kyle's and Ashley's family and to me it really felt like my family continued their normal life despite me being gone she tried to talk to me about what happened but I didn't really think it was my place to explain things to her so I simply said that relationships change and things happen

in life that make us go our separate ways we continued talking ever so often for almost a year in her email this January she expressed how the pandemic had a big effect on her entire family and how my parents were struggling to keep their house and both my brothers lost their jobs in struggle to keep up with the cost I was surprised at her knowledge of this as she was only 14 but the hardship was also causing tensions between her parents I started to deal with a lot of guilty feelings and regrets I also just

had my baby so that was causing me lots of emotions I talked to my husband and he was very supportive and told me that he would be there for me for whatever I decide we are financially stable and the pandemic didn't have a great impact on our finances we are not rich but are able to live comfortably after learning some more details and talking with Dean we decided to help my parent with their house a week ago we flew back to my home state I saw my for the first time in 15 years I had

so many emotions regrets pains from the past feelings of betrayal my parent was I think relieved to see me it was just such a weird day we had a lengthy conversation and agreed to try and have some sort of cordial relationship it's been so long and I am very awkward with them sometimes they feel like strangers Dean and I spent a week there and we continued to have a conversation and I truly believe that we were on a path to having a friendly yet distant relationship but that my mom started insisting I have a sit-down

conversation with Kyle and Ashley she explained that she wants to go back to the way things were I told her I refused to talk to them although I moved on I simply have no ties with them now and don't want to rehash anything with them I told her I am prepared to try and establish a relationship with them as they are my family and I truly came to care for my niece but that I don't want anything to do with Kyle Ashley or their family I never demanded them to cease their relationship with their friends

but I don't want one Dean supports me my mom called me selfishly and said that I simply must try and heal our relationship I told her I will not negotiate and that it's on her to decide whether or not she wants to have a relationship with me she said okay but two days later I received a phone call from Kyle's mom I did not give her my number and she demanded yes demanded I talk with Kyle and Ashley as my return caused tensions in their relationship and their emotional health I hung up I called my

mom and confronted her apparently she gave that woman my number to heal our family bonds I told her that she is choosing them over me again she cried and yelled at me that I am selfish and that she just wants her family back I hung up it's been days since I spoke to any of them although my mom and Kyle's mom keep on calling although I think I am right and I believe I should prioritize my well-being and the well-being and happiness of my husband who has been behind me 100% And even told my mom

off and my sons I am starting to have some regrets I don't know if I should listen to my mom and speak to Ashley and Kyle I question whether I was overreacting 15 years ago I am questioning whether I am truly being selfish for not actively trying to repair the relationship I would really appreciate any advice or opinion on what to do in this situation suddenly I am questioning the entire course of my life I am so lost and I don't know what to do update 2 years later April 15th 2023 my gosh it's been

2 years since I posted this a lot of people been asking me for an update first of all I want to thank all of the wonderful people who have been sending me updates and lovely messages I'm truly grateful a lot of things have happened in the last few years Dash not all great without making these 100 pages long I never mentioned my little sister in my original post her relationship with my parents went downhill after I left home and she went no contact with them when she was 20 I received her number from our older

sister and although it was awkward at first it's been 15 years after all we did start speaking again she was very angry at me for leaving a lot has happened in her life and it wasn't the easiest she has a toddler and a baby of her own and I have to say that the kids have helped us Bond again she's my best friend and we talk every day as for my other siblings I'm in regular contact with both my brothers although we aren't close my older sister and I have a good relationship now but last

year we've had a longer period of not speaking as she is married to Kyle's brother it was hard for her to deal with all our and their family drama we are cool now and I have a lovely relationship with my nieces and nephews I didn't go to my niece's birthday party it just seemed like it would be too hard for me now to my parents this one is a little pain for me to write and at the time it felt like I was reliving all those shitty emotions I had at 18 my mom didn't let

up with her pestering over me not talking with Kyle and Ashley her calls for that continued for months even after I was home again it barded on emotional blackmail she blamed me for not honoring her wishes for her friendship problems and health problems and even accused me of keeping her grandbabies from her last June I had my daughter and it seems like that sent her completely over the rail what I mean by that 100 plus calls A Day messages every 20 minutes to pester me about random things sending me updates about people I never want

to know about when she started Ed pestering Dean I was done I was afraid to block her so I spoke to my father this was probably the first time in the last 17 years that we had a true heart to heart conversation I was emotionally drained tired from caring for three children and just over everything I've probably poured all my feeling and emotions onto him dot I don't know what happened to them afterward he doesn't speak much about it her call slowly ceased and something else must have happened because in August he filed for a

divorce my father and I are in regular contact although I don't think we'll ever be back to normal mom is devastated in August her calls became insane and apparently not just with me I've changed my number since then and as of February she has not been able to reach me I've been told by one of my brothers that she has problems with anxiety and depression and lost a lot of friends I don't really know whether or not she continues to have a relationship with Kyle and Ashley's family I don't want to have anything to do

with her anymore nor do I want her near my kids the things she said to me about me and about my husband whom she really doesn't know and after 15 years of no contact is crazy although I regret not having a mom I feel like trying and fighting to repair the little remnants of our relationship would be a waste of my emotional energy and just pure torture as for Kyle and Ashley I've received some calls from Kyle's mom as I mentioned in my original post I blocked her and no other calls have been received from

anyone I really don't know what they are doing or where they are I've had no contact with them the only thing that really happened is that in August when went downhill my bill Kyle's brother brought me a letter apparently written by Ashley I've not opened it and I really don't know if I want to I feel like I've moved on from them but on the other hand I'm curious as to what she has to say after so many years however that in itself could bring back bad emotions I'm doing okay now now with my babies

and Dean who is a real trooper in all of this I'm trying to focus on my family and I really hope that this is all behind me to all of you thank you again if anything else happens I'll try to update sooner new update update 2 May 21st 2023 dear everyone I have no idea if anyone will see this but during the last few months since I posted my update I have received many messages with advice and words of support I have no way of thanking you but know that your words truly mean a lot

to me I try to reply to everyone but it sometimes takes me a while a lot of questions have been asked in these messages and I can't answer them all at this time I plan on updating soon just to quickly answer the most common ones I have not read the letter yet soon after updating I started therapy again and Dean and I decided that it would be best if I gave the letter to my therapist and let him decide when and if I'm ever ready to read it I have not spoken to my mom since

the update I've received messages on Facebook from her and Ashley's mom which is a first the latter I didn't even read I've since deactivated my Facebook for the time being neither Kyle nor Ashley tried to contact me via any social media the only thing I know is that Kyle was asking my bill for my address or number but Bill refused them that's when Ashley gave him the letter bill is in no contact with his family ATM they are separated as per my bill but he does not know whether they are divorced or not last week

my dad was in town he does not know my address and has never been to my house for the first time in almost two decades we had an open honest conversation I have to admit it was a lot and I was not good for a few days afterwards but it was necessary I learned a lot about my mom a lot of you tried to imply there must have been something in her past to make her the way she is and the time between them learning Ashley was pregnant and my return 2 years ago it's a

lot to unpack and I'll probably be in therapy for a long time it's a lot really so I'll have to write a separate update also my little sister she was not at fault and I never blamed her for hiding the secret from me she was a teen and she knew it was wrong but she was put under a lot of pressure by our mom after I left her life was hell and our mom was insufferable and blamed her for a lot of things again thank you for your words of support and encouragement lots of you

sent words for Dean as well and he has read them you are right he is the best and I probably would not have been where I am today without him please appreciate your families if they are there for you in good and bad of course call your parents and sibling and tell them how much you love them in moments like this we realize how much we undervalue the good people in our lives thank you and I hope you all well