this is the plaintiff sarah mitchell this is the defendant diego luis gonzalez ignacio roberto constantino mario lorenzo carlos miguel rodriguez francisco jesus gonzalez juan antonio iii she said his negligence ended up killing her grandmother's heirloom rose garden he claims he did the work that was asked of him and is counter-suing the plaintiff for being a quote dumb white lady in the matter of case 1377 the honorable judge juanita jimenez presided all right uh miss mitchell you're suing mr um at diego your honor diego for the amount of 14 632 tell me what happened i had
planned this amazing trip to tulum for an intensive self-worth realization workshop and organic juice cleanse it was at this great little eco resort right on the beach where they greet you with a sustainably harvested raw coconut oil miss mitchell your mexican vacation sounds lovely but i don't see how those details are relevant to the case um it wasn't a vacation your honor and it wasn't in mexico it was tulum anyways i needed someone to take care of my grandmother's prize-winning heirloom roses like my siesta sunset roses they need two ounces of alpine spring water every
other day miss mitchell please get to the part of the story that involves the defendant i called the professional gardening service and he wanted to charge 300 to water the roses for the week and i was like that's ridiculous how is that ridiculous for a week of professional services rendered i don't know where that 300 is going to gardening services i presume my friend amber posted this article on instagram about how farm workers are exploited by the evil corporation we're not talking about farm workers miss mitchell and i wanted to directly support a poor desperate
pathetic pathetic out of work person in our community so i drove my tesla over to the hardware harbor and that's where i found the defendant i was there buying a flush handle for the toilet because my wife benita she like wouldn't stop complaining about how the toilet keeps running and making this little noise that's kind of like it's like it's like it's weird and that it was it was disrupting her beauty sleep and i was like clearly the sleeping isn't making you beautiful so like and then she got all offended she was like that's terrible
thing to say to your wife you need to fix the toilet you lazy piece of uh crap and i told her just relax okay it's not that big of a deal just jiggle the handle jiggle jiggle little jiggle and and she was like oh also you need to get a job and i was like i'm busy benita and she's like with what and i was like i don't know having this conversation watching soccer getting drunk she was like yes exactly anyway do you do divorces by the way mr diego please get to the part of
the story where the plaintiff hired you anyway i was just buying a toilet handle okay and that's when this annoying white lady approached me annoying the plaintiff anyway she approached me and offered me fifty dollars to water her roses get it ew i'm not sure what you mean but continue and then i thought hey look you know i've done worse for fifty dollars still don't know what you mean anyway as it turned out she just wanted me to water her dumb garden my garden isn't dumb it's prize winning and 100 organic miss mitchell did you
ask the defendant if you had any experience in gardening no why not i mean he's mexican your honor objection how do you know that i'm not from guatemala or venezuela are you no no no i'm definitely mexican your honor the point is i trusted him and he broke that trust i was at the yoga intensive in the middle of doing 108 sun salutations when i was rudely interrupted by a text from my friend amber she said she saw the defendant watering my roses with a hoe yeah well how else do you water a garden with
two ounces of alpine water slowly dripped at the root base how the hell was i supposed to know that well you could have watched my vlog on caring for heirloom roses the organic way all right that's enough we gotta wrap this up mr diego i see a point well really you do the plaintiff is indeed a dumb white lady excuse me i'll rule in favor of your countersuit for the amount of fourteen thousand six hundred and thirty two dollars and sixty nine cents what holy i also rule in favor of the plaintiff's suit for the
amount of fourteen thousand six hundred thirty two dollars what so that leaves a net ruling of 69 cents for the defendant so i did win all right so uh yeah i made 69 cents today so not so bad am i disappointed with the outcome of course 69 hilarious [Music]
