My name is Alessandra Vick, I'm a conflict mediator and teacher and in today's video we'll see five ways to deal with stubborn people. The first point is: Stop with labels. If you've already accepted and assumed that person "is stubborn", you're not open to seeing them otherwise.
So every time she says "here it goes, she's going to say that again, it's no use saying anything because it's always the same story". So even if that person tries to do something, I'm not opening up, I'm not being flexible to be able to see them differently. It makes sense?
What I mean by that: I can't change the other person but I can change the way I see them. So that's the first point. The second point is: Value that person's opinion, even if you don't agree, it's important to show that you're listening and that you validate that.
That doesn't mean that I'm going to change my mind about it: no, but the person will feel important being listened to. By doing this, you can usually create a different connection and communication. A break here in the topics: if you feel that it is too challenging, if that is not the time: pause and come back to talk to that person later.
And this is also important. There's a video here talking a little more. Third point is Ask to understand better.
Put yourself in that person's shoes. As I said before, you don't need to change your opinion but make room for this dialogue. Then ask: "Look, from my experience or from my point of view, I think differently but I would like to know.
Tell me a little: why do you think like that? ! ".
Or: "What made it take you to reach that decision? " Anyway, question show curiosity and interest in what the person has to say. The fourth point: Do not say that the person is wrong, it is not there.
Even because who is right, who is wrong is a matter of perspective, experience, experiences, values, new perspectives. So that's not the idea here, take the issue of right or wrong, good or bad, and try to identify and show why for you that is different. Then: "Look, I understand that for you it's like this, like this, like this, correct?
I have a different view, I think tatatatatatatata. What do you think about that? " You validate what the person said, then speak your point of view and finally include them again, so that it is not an imposition, so that it becomes a dialogue again, and after you have spoken, what you wanted, it gets easier for the other.
Then, suddenly, it either shows another perspective or else ok, let's keep thinking differently but at least there was space for this dialogue. And the fifth and last one, it has to do with the ending. So if it was a problem, they needed to come up with a solution, together you can get there or if it's not really a situation the impact was just different points of view Ok.
No one needs to change anyone's view, but at least it showed that that relationship has room for dialogue, there is room for everyone to show their point of view. This brings and strengthens this relationship even more. So to finish, what I wanted to invite today: choose a relationship in which you felt this: "wow, that stubborn person".
And then try to apply these five points, starting by stopping labeling her as a stubborn person, and yes, she has an attitude that you didn't like because of this and that, but she's not like that, she doesn't need to be that stubborn person. And then there's also the tip to go little by little, don't put too much pressure on yourself, conquer these communication tools that will help in all relationships and today especially in the face of this situation. I hope you enjoyed it, if you want to share any difficulty, something worked for you, leave it here in the comments or call me in direct.
I am pleased to help and together we will continue on this path.
