to oversimplify the matter charm is about being amazing knowing you're amazing and having the ability to make other people feel amazing you've got to be able to do all three hi ladies welcome or welcome back to the feminine Universe I am always so happy to have you here there are certain traits in life that are kind of easier to explain or to quantify things like intelligence or kindness or strength but a quality like charm just seems to be a little more elusive all you know is that you get this feeling where you feel like I
like this person but I can't put my finger on why charm transcends more obvious tangible traits all while remaining just beneath the surface never making itself too obvious or blatant and where things like conventional beauty or physical strength May Fade with age you can be Charming for life there's a reason why people have paid obscene amounts of money for finishing schools and why most finishing schools have charm on the syllabus whether they call it that or not it's because charm is universal it applies to every part of life and when you're charming the opportunities the
business deals the romance and the favors are all but guaranteed so today we are going to remove some of the secrecy and do a comprehensive breakdown honestly a bit of a master class on charm what it is why it works and how to actually be more Charming so that you can get the benefits in every area of life so let's get started so firstly what is charm there's an easy answer and a not so easy answer I will put the definitions as well as my own little formula for charm up on the screen as a
noun it's the power or quality of giving Delight or arousing admiration as a verb it means to Delight greatly or to control or achieve as if by Magic again it's simple but it's not charm absolutely has an other worldly quality about it and I want to break down how to master this formula so for the first tip I will tell you to practice confident warmth with everyone the absolute first thing to do to be more Charming is to practice being warm with everyone I'm talking little kids grandparents men women bosses co-workers janitors and so on
there are several reasons why this is so important firstly the more you do something the better you get at it and that helps you get to a place where you are no longer acting Charming but where you truly become Charming secondly the more you do it the more it will come across as natural and genuine I know people who try to turn on the charm so to speak only in situations where they think it will benefit them whether that's only with people they're romantically interested in or with people they could professionally or financially benefit from
but when they do that it can really come across as a bit forced or a bit fake I know we've all felt that little uncomfortable feeling when someone is being nice but we can feel that it's because they want something or that they have some sort of angle and it just doesn't feel quite right others can feel that from us as well or sometimes the person you're trying to charm now just saw how cold you were with several people before them or people can also pick up on how your disinterested demeanor became super friendly when
you found out what they do for a living or who their family is and then you just seem like a total fraud and opportunist those are just a few of the reasons I say aim to be Charming with everyone at all times in all reasonable situations now of course if someone is being downright rude or disrespectful feel free to ignore them and get out of that situation also notice in this tip I said to practice confident warmth a lot of times especially as women I think the idea of warmth that sold to us is a
bit overboard it's either very extra and over the top or you can almost become overly flattering or supplicant like you're beneath the person don't overdo it nothing kills charm faster than those two things coming across like you have an agenda or coming across as needy one of the components that many people are missing to be Charming is coming across like they know they're amazing someone will have all these amazing qualities but still have that do you like me please like me energy and that lack of confidence kills the charm aspect instantly aside from the Golden
Rule confident warmth can be embodied by the simple sentence my dad always said to me growing up you're no better than anyone and no one is better than you move accordingly my next tip is to be above average or choose greatness after here hearing that line I know you might think that I'm about to tell you to do the absolute most but because Society is where it is right now and so many people are fine with the bare minimum it takes significantly less than it used to to be above average now let me say there's
nothing fundamentally wrong with being average average is adequate it's good enough it's satisfactory but by default average is not memorable one of the synonyms for average is actually unremarkable now on the contrary we absolutely do remember Charming people and that's because whether consciously or unconsciously they are or they've chosen to be above average or out of the ordinary in some way simply put if you want to be great you have to do great things for example when it's very average and the norm to wear sweatpants everywhere and not to put effort into your appearance choose
to be above average and put in a little effort to your appearance make sure your hair is done that you are highlighting your best features that you are just well put together when it's the norm not to speak to human beings right in front of you be it your neighbors or co-workers saying good morning or asking how it's going will be above average the simple things these days take you to the next level it's kind of sad but we can use it in our favor the next tip I have is to cultivate your aura and
your energy okay now this one honestly could be a whole video on its own and I can do that if you'd like but we'll abbreviate it for now having an aura is absolutely about being authentic but it takes that authenticity to another level it's about really leaning into who you are and exude putting that outwardly as well so both the physical and personality aspects are combined to create an aura that is uniquely you the easiest way to capture and explain this is to put a few women up on the screen and let you see the
thoughts and associations that instantly come to your mind so as you think about cultivating your own Aura and energy think about yes the physical side like what's your look what are your signature things but also think about what are you known for or what do you want to be known for what do people come to you for what energy do you bring when you step into a room are you fun do you always have jokes and playful teasing going on do you bring an uplifting Aura Are you full of positivity and compliments and always looking
on the bright side do you bring that Superhero energy or aura that makes people feel like everything is going to be okay when you you're on their side do they think she always has a plan she always has answers not only is this authentic aura or energy attractive because you come across as knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own skin but also because it gives people permission to be their most authentic selves in the presence of this confident self-assured person I feel like I can be confident and self-assured as well and who doesn't want
that the next tip is to master small talk and conversation I know that there are going to be a few groans on this one as an introvert with ambivert Tendencies I get it I really do I used to hate small talk but understanding the why behind why Small Talk was really important it made a huge difference in how I view it humans are social creatures so it is natural to seek out connection so when someone tries to come comment on the weather or how slowly the checkout line is moving they are recognizing you as a
member of their group or of their species that they should be able to connect with and when you shut down that attempt at connection it comes across as I don't see you as someone worth connecting with it sends the message that whatever it is you see in me that made you want to connect I don't see it in you they are not thinking maybe she's anxious or maybe she's shy or maybe she's had a bad day a little life lesson here most people take things personally and will think it has something to do with them
small talk is also what creates the foundation for big talks big deals and big opportunities no one jumps into their most personal or most important things right away while most people don't there's a reason why companies host schmoozing dinners to land Talent or to close deals or there's a reason why certain deals get closed on a golf course instead of in the office or why people will invite you over for dinner before moving forward in many capacities how you do the little things tells people a lot about how you'll do the big things people like
to be in business with and do favors for people they like and if you can connect and come across as a competent likable Charming person in these seemingly meaningless interactions and conversations you can set yourself up for bigger and better opportunities the next tip is to make people feel important when you look into being more Charming there are certain tips you will always hear without fail things like remember people's names make eye contact position your body towards them all of those things fall under the umbrella of making people feel important in a signature compliment that
Charming people get is that they make me feel like I'm the only person in the room so really in any interaction you should be thinking am I making this person feel important are they leaving this interaction feeling like they matter if you walk up to a group greet everyone even if you don't know them all when you're speaking to someone give them your full attention put away your phone don't look around as if you're looking for someone better to talk to yes remember and periodically use their name ask about their family their pet their hobby
if they previously told you they had a big event coming up ask how it went the next time you see them pay people genuine compliments one-on-one and in front of others make people feel important the next tip is to pinpoint the needs of others now I I'm not even going to pretend this is easy this one is definitely a little bit more intermediate to Advanced depending on whether you know the person a bit or if you've just met them but it's so so powerful probably top three it's a really specific version of being able to
read the room as you talk to people and get to know people you'll begin to pick up little details and by using those details to read the room or read that person and pinpoint their needs you'll be able to meet those needs and you'll have that effect where they always leave thinking this person always knows exactly what I need or exactly what I need to hear pinpointing the needs takes making people feel important and amplifies it instead of just the general things that we know will make pretty much anyone feel good pinpointing makes it specific
to the person what do they need what are they looking for it may be attention it may be reassurance it might be a sense of community and belonging it might be a little bit of approval if someone is new on a job for example they might be looking for a little reassurance that they are doing a good job if the guy you're seeing has always lived in his sibling Shadow maybe feeling chosen or feeling like the preference for once might be what he needs that no other woman has picked up on yet this is so
addictive because everyone wants to feel understood and accepted especially without having to explicitly expose or verbalize their weaknesses and vulnerabilities and when you can do that without them saying it people will fiercely seek that out like I said this tip is a little more intermediate to Advanced and it takes a little people reading so if you feel like you might overstep or misstep just stick with the things we talked about under making people feel important until you feel more comfortable or know a little bit more about the person my next step is simple don't be
too perfect to be Charming you have to understand people I think you're noticing that as a pattern here and when you understand people you know that everyone has insecurities to an extent some more than others and that most people have concerns about not being enough in some way whether it's not being successful enough not being pretty or handsome enough or smart enough and so on and as we went over in the beginning a big part of being Charming is knowing how to make others feel amazing so if you make people feel inferior intentionally or unintentionally
they obviously will not feel amazing in your presence therefore they will not seek you out or go out of their way to be around you more and poof there goes the charm now am I telling you to dim Your Shine or pretend to be less competent no absolutely not one of the tips was to be above average remember but we do have to find that fine line between above average but still flawed above average but still human we all mess up sometimes and the key here is to know that it's okay to show that every
once in a while to endear yourself to others rather than to alienate them I am a perfectionist so if I make any mistake my absolute first instinct is to fix it before anyone notices but with time I've learned to let little things go if I misspell something in a text and I know that person knows that I'm aware of how to spell that word or that I know the difference between two two and two I'll let the mistake be instead of immediately sending an asterisk with the correction if you spill a drink or something small
like that just lean into it a little bit and lean into this yes I'm human moment my next tip for you is to be fun there is no charm without a little bit of fun I'm not telling you to start telling knock-knock jokes or to start doing stand-up comedy not everyone is funny but I do think everyone can be fun in some way all it takes is bringing in some playfulness and non-romantic flirtiness assuming it's not a romantic situation and platonic flirtiness just means playfulness and a bit of an intimate Insider inside joke kind of
way and all that takes is bringing a little levity and light-heartedness to any situation where it's appropriate it's about making sure moments aren't super stiff or stuffy if they don't need to be like I'll playfully tease a friend's parents that I'm relatively familiar with let's say they're going out I'd say to them have fun you too but not too much fun and give them a little wink it's funny because that's what they would usually say to us it also makes them feel like I still see them as spry that they've still got it and are
capable of causing a little trouble instead of just giving them this very stiff okay have a good evening sir have a good evening ma'am it breaks down a little bit of that super formality and brings in some familiarity and fun of course you have to know where you are who you're dealing with and keep it appropriate for the occasion but just think about ways to add fun playful teasing or little inside jokes to situations you can also think about recommending fun things or activities within your group you may not be the funniest person but if
you're always putting out new things and new ideas that people find fun that is another way to bring in that fun element while still being able to stay in your comfort zone and for my last tip I will say keep some mystery one thing you may have noticed about many Charming people is that many times it feels like they know more about you than you know about them and one effortless way to achieve this is to allow others to speak more than you ask questions then ask follow-up questions be interested be curious once you make
people feel comfortable and get past the small talk hump they will talk they will usually carry the conversation and also as with all mysterious people remember to give people space you cannot be mysterious if you're always in someone's face okay people can go from I want more to I'm sick of this very quickly you have to be the one to show some restraint don't always be the first to arrive or the last to leave sometimes you can make it sometimes you can't sometimes lead or be very active in conversations sometimes lean back and just listen
now you never want to seem too enigmatic to aloof or too standoffish because that can go into unlikable territory quite quickly but maintain just enough distance or variety to maintain a bit of mystery all in all being Charming isn't always the easiest trait to master but it's absolutely learnable and if you choose to be great and Implement some things that are a little above average I promise you will see people going out of their way to be around you and to give you what you want so that they can have more of you in their
life so go out there and be your most Charming self until next time ladies stay feminine stay focused and have fun
