sh quiet do you hear that n never mind it was nothing I've always been a quieter person like when I'm in Social settings I just usually don't have that much that I want to say for most of my life I thought that it was this big weakness of mine that was holding me back you know holding me back from putting myself out there with women holding me back from getting respect with other men just holding me back from success in general like the quiet guy doesn't win he he never gets the girl he's the loser
right but that is not fully true because us quieter people tend to have an advantage over the louder people our mouths are shut and that gives us more attention and focus on analyzing situations thinking more perceiving different things and that is why I believe the deadliest most effective men in this world are quiet guys who've simply learned to present themsel in a confident attractive way and that my friends is the trick you to learn how to present yourself in an attractive way that does not require you to constantly be talking and say a lot of
words because let's be real that doesn't come naturally to us number one change the goal so y'all know I love to snowboard and back in University I actually joined the the snowboarding team which was also kind of like this club that had parties and hung out all the time together and every time there'd be an event I was about to go to I would tell myself okay the goal tonight is to be cool to to make friends with everyone to make sure everyone thinks I'm cool because if I do that then I'll have a chance
with hooking up with the you know the cuter girls in the club and that'll be good I can't go there and be like a s i I got to be cool and what do you think happened how do you think that went for me it went terribly bro cuz I showed up and I was stuck in my head with all this pressure on myself like okay I got to find my opportunity to say the right thing okay I'm I'm ready I'm ready and then I sat there awkwardly in the corner isolated like a loser you
have to change the goal you have to to take the pressure off of yourself now when I'm about to go to a situation like this I'll tell myself the goal is just to show up and hopefully you know I can have a couple good conversations with some of the people there if some people there happen to think I'm a loser I'm awkward I'm okay with that I'm going to accept that ahead of time but you know maybe if I do the right things the things we're about to talk about in this video maybe they'll just
think I'm that silently attractive guy number two call them out so a few weeks ago Julia my wife and I we met up with another couple we went out on the boats and Julia knew the girl I didn't know either of them and at one point the other girl was telling Julia yeah so there's this thing you can do when you're trying to get pregnant that if you guys you have intercourse on the third day of your ovulation then that will basically guarantee that it's a boy my my sister did it and her friend did
it too and they both had boys and Julia is like wow that's that's so interesting and even the other guy is like damn really that that's kind of crazy and it's one of those moments where in my head I'm sitting there like this is the biggest like bro science assumption ever but normally as quiet people we just kind of keep that thought to oursel label it and move on look bro if you're not going to say a lot of things the things you say need to be impactful things and this is the perfect opportunity to
show that you have balls you actually had a a kind of unique thought that went against the grain and you got to express that to the group so I'm kind of laying back on the boat I turn my head and say y'all are crazy you got a sample size at two girls that have done this it's a 50/50 chance and all of y'all are convinced y'all are crazy and of course everyone laughed the key is to do this in a playful way to playfully challenge other people when you call them out you know we lightly
debated it for a little bit the point wasn't to prove them wrong the point is that when you're quiet you got to make sure that the words that you speak because there's going to be fewer of them they have to be impactful so if you see an opportunity to playfully call someone out you got to take that opportunity every time number three choose your frame so you know that feeling when you're with a group of people and you can't think of anything to say and then in your mind you start to label it as damn
these people probably think I'm a loser I don't think I can't think of anything to say I wish I could think of something to say and then you kind of really feel like separated and isolated from the group you have to catch yourself in this moment and reframe it in your head in these moments I'll label it in my head differently I'll just say I'm choosing to be quiet and calm and when I have something to say I'll say it then literally tell yourself I'm being the the silently attractive guy now I'm I'm not being
the weird loser it's a simple thing but it changes how you perceive the entire ire interaction and will allow you to keep high confidence levels even when you're not talking you get to choose the story you tell yourself you might as well choose the story that is empowering to you number four observe the unique so a couple weeks ago Julia and I were in Boston walking down Newberry Street at the end of the night and we got ice cream at this little ice cream shop and the girl who's working there scooping the ice cream tells
us and this caught me off guard she says you two look like you met on a reality TV show and you're still together 20 years later it was like the most unique I'm not even sure if it was a compliment it was the most kind of unique observation and it stuck with me that girl didn't say another word to us the whole night but immediately she just seemed I don't know I I liked her because she observed something very unique and personal to me so I try and do the same thing like last week I
met a new guy who had a a full sleeve tattoo you know kind of like mine so I observed it and I said oh man it's you know it's interesting that you have so many tattoos but you haven't connected them together with shading I made an observ ation that was unique to him and then he opened up and we had a deep engaging conversation after that when you meet new people always just be observing and when you think of something that's unique about them just tell them even if it's not a question even if it's
not a compliment just tell them and that's going to make this extremely strong impact on them number five always take the aggressive option so often times in Social scenarios we come to a branch in the road where there's two routes we can take and usually one of them is a bit more passive or playing it safe and the other one is a bit more assertive but it requires a bit more of a risk to be taken you see a cute girl at the gym you can either keep doing your workout and do nothing or you
can try and approach her and talk to her if you're talking to a girl you like you can either just let the conversation goes where it goes or you can make sure to ask her if she wants to hang out when you're on a date with the girl you like you can either just tell her bye at the end of the night and say you had a nice time or you could invite her back to your place so let's imagine you saw that cute girl at the gym and you didn't approach how do you feel
a couple hours later are you happy with yourself or maybe do you feel a little bit of regret if you're talking to a really cute girl and you don't ask her out what does that feel like a few hours later good or really shitty like really shitty wishing that I could rewind time and go back there and just take the shot at one point I realized the cheat code to life was just to always take the assertive option I would rather take the assertive option and do it in a really cringy insecure way but still
try and ask the girl out for example then not to do it it and regret it later I have literally never once in my life regretted taking the assertive option because worst case it still builds confidence and builds this positive feedback cycle where you're more likely now to take the next risk and take the next opportunity because think about it if not really what you're doing is you're building the habit of always playing it safe and that is what leads you to being the quiet kind of loser awkward cringey guy with no hoes at all
zero hoes now real quick let's keep her real let's keep her real for a real quick second if you're the type of guy that doesn't speak as many words then it is absolutely critical that you present yourself visually in the most attractive way possible and unfortunately style is not something that comes naturally to men in 2024 most guys I see have like a four or a 5 out of 10 style and this is exactly why back in 2018 I created Edge lifestyle clothing to provide men with staple pieces of clothing that are insanely comfortable and
help you portray that masculine Edge and luckily for you the timing is perfect because this week only we have our once per year annual sale where you can get the biggest discounts possible I'd recommend you grab a pair of our movement joggers these are my go-to everyday pants they're loaded with four-way stretch for Next Level Comfort indestructible tear resistance seams and they just have that classy fit or our premium denim jeans built-in stretch so your package stays comfortable all day long and they're available in a relaxed fit a tapered fit or with a simple knee
rips also our Tech backpack has you covered from the office to the gym it has a minimal masculine Style with build compartments for basically everything you could ever think of and this is probably the only time you'll see our active chinos on discount these just give you that next level classy style but because the insane fabric with built-in stretch they actually feel like you're wearing joggers not to mention you can level up your gym wardrobe with our Elite hybrid shorts with a built-in liner and B2 of our enhanced mesh te which just makes you look
as jacked as possible all of that and more is on discount now but do not hesitate because these deals will expire in just 3 days just go to EDG lifestyle.com or click that first link in description to shop now the discounts will automatically apply no code needed act fast before I change my mind number six proper manners so my mother is from North Carolina the Dirty South and she raised me always to say thank you you're welcome yes sir yes ma'am please all the basic that that all of us know and when I was younger
I kind of wanted to be rebellious and not do that I thought it would be cooler to be a bit like rude to people but what I've realized is that when you meet someone who has good manners it's such a small thing but immediately in my mind it makes me look at them as a higher value person like they just seem like more of a premium person I look at them more highly than someone who doesn't have good manners and more than anything I think that like attracts like so if you're someone who goes around
to using good manners you're a lot more likely to attract other of those higher value people into your life with you again when you don't speak a lot the few words that you speak tell the story of who you are you want to make sure you're telling the right Story number seven highlight the differences so I think all of us naturally have this habit that when we're speaking to someone we're always subconsciously looking for the threads of things that we have in common like oh my God you used to play Oblivion growing up too man
that was the game what about Golden n007 in in Mario 64 you play those too because then we can connect on those things and it feels good to make that connection with someone else now I'm not saying not to do that but what I am saying is if you actually focus on highlighting the differences between you and the person you're talking to it leaves a much deeper impact and paints you as a much more attractive confident person so for example when I'm back in Boston and realize that I grew up in Boston so when I'm
there and I meet new people they tend to ask me oh do you miss Boston you're such a great City you must miss it and rather than being like yeah you know there's really things I like about Boston I I do kind of miss it I highlight the differences and I say honestly I don't miss Boston at allll I I think you're crazy for still living in this city man it's cold as hell in the here keep in mind I'm doing this in a playful way I'm not trying to create bad blood in the interaction
but how do you think people respond when I do this well there's an interesting thing that when someone pushes you away you tend to want to pull your way back in so it's almost like I created a little bit of distance between us and now they're trying to to like reproof no no actually you know we can still get along and we're still good like yeah you know you're right it it is a bit a cold in the winter here you know maybe I should come out and then check Texas out it's probably cool down
there and these things are so crucial to do when you're naturally quiet because people immediately recognize you as oh he doesn't around he's not afraid to call me out and say something and that is an extremely attractive habit people like the guy who has balls people want to be like the guy who has balls and the beauty is you barely have to say anything at all to demonstrate that number eight remember things don't be like Joe Biden you got to remember things so two days ago I'm getting my barber you know freshly lining up the
haircut and he's talking about you know some guy that he was talking to and he's like but I told him he's got to go to the boa restaurant downtown and that's a restaurant I really like in Austin and I was like wait but you know about boa he's like yeah bro you told me about boa last month even I didn't remember that but the fact that the barber remembered something you know so unique about me immediately it just made me like him more it made me feel like damn this guy really knows me and he
really cares about me he's a cool dude and that's something I try and always do is call back things that I've talked about with someone before because those are kind of like inside jokes you and the person have even though they haven't been a EST Lish as inside jokes but when you bring it up now it's like hey me and you are in on this together even if we don't know each other that much or even just thinking right now there's a guy I know I don't really know him but a guy at the gym
who I know plays with a local band and does concerts from time to time so next time I see him I'm going to be like hey bro how's it going what's up you've been crushing any concerts lately and I know that's going to his face is going to light up and he's going to be like ah this guy remembers number nine text less never more this is maybe the most powerful dating hack in 2024 when most of the communication before the first date happens over text message and by far the number one mistake guys like
us make guys who are naturally quieter with when there's actual conversation is we maybe overcompensate a little bit subconsciously and and send more texts because it's almost easier to think of something to say and send it over a text message bro it it it doesn't work it it never works it literally never works you see with texting it's a lot more about how you text than what you text and if you're talking to a girl and you're you're sending less messages the communication that's actually happening to her is oh I'm not sure if he's interested
in me he seems like he's he's a busier guy and that is a a human psychological factor that she can't even control she can't even help herself but want to get to know you better and more because you're holding yourself back on the text messages versus if you send a lot of texts or you send longer text messages it doesn't matter how smooth they are bro the the communication that she's receiving from all this is that this guy's really really into me and he's got a lot of free time and those are not things that
that are attractive so basically be more silent with your text messaging it's going to help you out a lot like the faster you can ask her hey do you want to hang out sometime this week and then when she says yes you just say cool what does your week look like and then she tells you she's free Wednesday or Thursday then you just suggest awesome let's meet Wednesday night at this restaurant at 8:00 P.M I'll see you there as soon as you start doing that bro I promise you your conversion rate from numbers to dates
is going to go through the roof number 10 draw the line so don't get me wrong there's times in life where being persistent can help you out for example when I identified the gym that I wanted to work at this luxury gym in Boston I wanted to be a personal trainer there I dropped my resume off in person I called them on the phone I sent multiple emails I I came back by in person to talk to the manager myself and ultimately that's what got my foot in the door or if I have a working
relationship with someone let's say someone who's doing some advertising work for me or or a year and I'm still waiting to hear back from them I'm going to hit them up and be like hey I'm following up on last week you still haven't gotten back to me and I'm following up again but when it comes to meeting new people you don't want to be persistent because unfortunately persistence just makes you look needy and needy repels people girls and other guys so my rule of thumb is this now when I meet someone new that seems like
a cool person that I want to hang out with again I'm going to make one genuine effort to hang out with them because be real if you meet a girl she ain't going to be the one that sets up the date and even if you meet another guy who could be a business partner or or could just be a cool guy to hang out with he's probably not going to make the effort either people are lazy but if I make that effort you know I send them the text messages trying to set up the first
meeting and they don't reciprocate so they're not available and they don't make an effort to set up a meeting after that I'm done I'm out not only does this prevent you from wasting time on someone that doesn't want to equally invest into the relationship with you but it's also Al very attractive especially in dating I can't tell you how many girls I tried to hang out with once and they gave me the usual like flaky and then I just texted them okay cool when you're free let me know you wouldn't think that this would work
you'd be like no I should probably check in with her again next week because she's not going to get back to me but when you just give some space and show that I don't chase I've drawn the line I'm out a shocking amount of girls will get back to you and be down to hang out number 11 take up space physically so I have a challenge for you and that is that next time you're in a social situation which will probably be like today or tomorrow I want you to focus only on putting your body
in a way that takes up space physically so if you're sitting down you know sat back in a chair like this your arms wide your legs a bit open because what you'll notice well first of all when we're nervous and we're a bit anxious we tend to to close our body into a more like protective fetal stance maybe not like this but you're probably a bit tighter and closed in the chest your legs might be you know crossed more like this and not only does that allow this more tight body posture to happen which is
going to make you feel even more tight and your heart rate will probably raise and your blood pressure will go up but also other people will perceive you as a weak or less confident man if you're taking up less Space versus when you open up other people again without even thinking about it they're going to perceive you as oh he's very you know calm and comfortable in this environment back when I was like really starting to to confront my social anxiety I would focus exclusively on this when I was speaking with my boss or or
with women or or just meeting new people and it was kind of that one core habit that I could always you know I could always have faith that if I just did that right I would look quietly attractive i' have that silent attractiveness and number 12 start strong so look there's plenty of studies and I mean plenty of studies out there that show within milliseconds of someone seeing you they've already made up their mind in terms of how attractive you are how likable you are how aggressive you are and they've also done studies that show
these first impressions are extremely sticky meaning that let's say you make a really bad first impression on someone and they think you're kind of a loser even if you show yourself to be a really strong confident guy later on it's going to be hard for them to change their mind about you but let's be real I'm sure you don't need studies to prove this to you I'm sure you can just look at your own life look at the last two days in your life and see that this is true for example if this is the
first video of mine that you've seen probably as soon as I came on camera you already kind of made up your minds that oh this guy seems like a little douchy I don't know if I really want to take advice from him or maybe you're like ah this guy seems like relatable and chill like I'm I'm excited to see the video hopefully the the second one hopefully the second one now this is extremely good news for naturally quiet people like us because this means that if we can just make a strong effort in the first
few seconds we're talking to someone they can already establish us as an attractive person in their mind even if we go back to our quiet slightly awkward ways after that and that's why every single time I meet someone new I make sure to do three things first of all strong eye contact as I'm approaching them and talking with them for the first 10 to 20 seconds second I'll try and have a slight smile on my face not a big cheesy awkward smile but at least a little grin they've done studies that show this has a
powerful impact on first impression because it shows that you're you know happy and content with the people around you and they tend to to mirror that back and third of it's a man I'm going to give the the good old firm handshake firm not trying to break the knuckles that's weird and if it's a girl or at least a girl in a social environment not a professional environment I'm going to go in for a warm hug and it's important to if it's a guy or a girl and it's a handshake to hold the handshake a
little bit longer to to establish that that physical connection with them and if it's a hug the same thing it's a warm hug you know held for 2 3 seconds boom because now after I've done that I know that I can be a bit lazy and go back to Old quiet David and I've already you know secured the attractive first impression it takes so much pressure off of you knowing that that's already locked in now look if you're serious about taking every aspect of your life to the next level then you need to watch that
video next that is about the 15 laws of self-improvement and that's basically the top 15 lessons I've learned transforming my life over the last 10 years condensed into one single video click there to watch it now if you're new to the channel click down there cuz I release two new videos every single week you don't miss them I'll talk to you in the next video Stay beastly
