so it's victimizing yourself a coping mechanism victimizing yourself is a habit right it's something that you learn to do it it's something that you become comfortable with and the mind has a really really bizarre like it has a really bizarre truth which is that it prefers the comfortable to the good so if your mind has a choice between picking something that it's familiar with and picking something that's good it's actually gonna pick something that's familiar with and what I want you guys to understand about victimizing yourself is that someone who victimizes themself is in an
abusive relationship with themselves and we have to remember that people stay in abusive relationships human beings saying abusive relationships all the time and then the question becomes why do people stay in abusive relationships like let's be scientific about it right let's not judge and say that oh that's stupid let's ask ourselves as scientists why does the human mind do what it does why on earth does someone stay with someone who like hits them like what the is going on in their mind and we have to accept that there's a damn good reason that they are
in that relationship because there's got to be a damn good reason if they're in a relationship where someone treats them like do you have to think about scales being weighed and if someone's treating you like like that's really heavy so in order to stay in that relationship you've got to have something really powerful to balance it and that's that the mind prefers the familiar to the good and the reason that people victimize themselves is because they're familiar with it right like why does Jessica tell her so in her mind the part of herself that beats
herself up is basically like a copy-paste it's a copypasta of her dad it's her dad's voice that lives in her mind it's exactly what her dad would be saying in those moments that's what she tells herself she learned that and why on earth does she continue to victimize herself it's because her mind prefers the known to the unknown and that makes sense right like why do people stay in abusive relationships it's because they don't know what else is down there they don't know if loneliness is next they don't know if they're ever gonna find someone
down the road and think about that for a second is someone in an abusive relationship feels like they're a piece of and if you really believe that you're a piece of then why do you think that you like the grass would be greener on the other side you believe that the grass is greener on the other side if you have faith in yourself as a human being to make it greener but if you're in an abusive relationship you don't think that you're a good person and you don't think that you're gonna find someone better you
don't believe that you're worthy of someone better so you're gonna stay in the abusive relationship and victimizing yourself is an abusive relationship with yourself right that's what it really is and we stay in those because we don't think that we can find a better way she doesn't think that there's a part of Jessica that doesn't understand that there is a better way out there because her dad taught her this since she was like one-year-old or even younger there were times honestly where she was probably crying when she was six months old and her dad did
not pick her up and comfort her and that left its mark that's trauma what we're dealing with here is not like anxiety or depression it's trauma and the reason that people victimize themselves is because that's what they were taught to do monkey see monkey do
