why is it so hard to leave them am I the problem in this relationship maybe I just need to work harder sometimes you may find yourself stuck in relationships that you know are not good for you but for some reason you can't get yourself to leave you may think it's a matter of communication or it's just because they've been busy lately but there might be something deeper that's going on they may be pulling strings behind your back to gain emotion control over you and the relationship to learn more about this let's look at some tactics
manipulators use to gain emotional control love bombing your outfit looks lovely on you you're honestly the smartest person I know I think my lucky stars that I get to spend time with you does this sound familiar at the beginning manipulators go all out to make you feel very special they might buy you tons of gifts pay you lots of attention and compliment all the time but this isn't done out of genuine interest and love instead it's a tactic to make you lower your defenses and fall dependent on them once you're settled into the relationship you
might start to notice that they'll turn cold cruel and even abusive when you pull away they'll turn up their love bombing tactics once again to chain you down so if something feels off too fast too soon or too good to be true trust your gut it's important to disengage as soon as possible when you sense that their gifts displays of Love or compliments come with strings attached hoovering uh of course we're not talking about your average hoovering on a weekend cleaning spree this type of hoovering refers to the tactic used to suck you back into
the toxic relationship family dynamic or friendship you may be trying to disconnect from apart from turning on the love bombing to get back on your good side they may also make promises to change and be better but all these empty words are said just to get you to stay with them afterwards they'll return to being as they were with their promises long forgotten what's worse is that when you want to leave again they'll use this tactic again and the cycle is once again repeated so if you notice they're trying to Hoover you back in same
advice disengage immediately and block all contact if no contact is an an due to your specific situation at least limit it and avoid giving them the emotional reaction they're looking for don't respond emotionally when they try to lure you back in with sweet words they might also use threats or guilt to get you to engage don't fall for those tricks either they're skilled at playing with your emotions because it's an effective way to make you cave in which brings us to our next Point emotional appeals how dare you you question me after all I've done
for you am I not good enough for you another method to gain control is to use over-the-top emotions the shock is elicited through over-the-top emotionally charged Tantrums that erupt when you do something that disappoints them and because their dramatic reactions can be so exhausting you might end up finding yourself walking on eggshells around them or giving into their wishes and desires just to avoid any more upsetting or angry outbursts so when a manipulator uses guilt to control you recognize that you're not responsible for their emotions or problems set clear boundaries stay firm in your decisions
and don't let their guilt dripping make you second guess yourself remember you have the right to protect your well-being by saying no hot and cold games imagine coming home to your partner having prepared a lovely dinner for you they tell you they love you and how grateful they are to be with you the next day however they barely talk to you and pull away from your touch the uncertainty and anxiety of not knowing what is going on or what you may have done to upset them gives them all control over you and the relationship being
on the receiving end of such toxic and destructive behaviors can leave you feeling unsettled insecure and isolated since all your time energy and attention is constantly on them making sure you haven't done something to upset them if you're dealing with hot and cold Behavior the first step to free yourself from this is to recognize that you're not crazy this is a manipulation tactic meant to confuse you to protect yourself try not to rely on them too much for anything whether it's emotional support validation or practical help when you realize you don't need anything from them
they lose their power over you set firm boundaries and prioritize your well-being and if their behavior continues consider whether this relationship is truly healthy for you gaslighting you promised we'd go to Europe This Christmas SII says to their partner instead of acknowledging what they've said SII partner responds by saying I never said that I think your memory is just bad gaslighting is a toxic and destructive manipulation tactic designed to make you feel confused unsettled and ultimately unable to trust yourself to the point that you rely on them for everything what's sneaky about this tactic is
how it happens so gradually that you don't even notice when it's happening for example you could have sworn you brought your water bottle with you but they convince you that you must have left it at home all the while it's in their bag it starts with inconspicuous things that don't really have any real consequences until gradually they convince you that your memory is just poor and that you should rely on them they may even use all the minor things previously to convince you that you're remembering things wrong after all you couldn't even remember you brought
your water bottle with you the other day just like with hot and cold behavior gaslighting is also used to destabilize you and make you doubt your own sanity and judgment the manipulator wants you to depend on them for everything including your memory autonomy and perception of reality to break free start by recognizing that you're not crazy you're being manipulated once you realize that focus on rebuilding your sense of self and perception this is key to healing and escaping their control what are some ways you have seen manipulators exert emotional control if it happened to you
what did you do about it we'd love to hear from you in the comments if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up and share it with your loved ones we value your support and can't wait to bring you more informative content in the future we hope this video helps if you suspect you're dealing with manipulative tactics and have tried all the strategies from this video or other content out there but still feel your mental health is suffering especially if deeper issues like trauma bonding are involved seeking help from a therapist can
be invaluable taking this step to find mental health support is super important for moving forward and healing well that's it for now take care and we'll see you soon
