[Music] foreign I can't believe I'm the one writing this but here I am to keep things confidential I'll speak in general terms and use fake names let's call my husband Deegan and me Jenny we're both in our 20s and have been married for over two years we crossed paths unexpectedly in public started chatting exchanged contact info and the rest as they say is history it felt like love at first sight at least for me we dated for six months and then lived together for a year before tying the knot due to my parents insistence we
had a large wedding they covered all the expenses except for the bar tab and our honeymoon which Deacon's parents paid for my parents adore Deegan and his parents have a deep affection for me our marriage has been fantastic and I wouldn't change a thing Deacon treats me exceptionally well and I do the same for him it's just our natural way of expressing love now you might wonder what's the issue here well the problem is that I cheated on Deegan with a colleague from work two months ago and now I'm burdened with guilt whenever Deegan does
something kind for me I feel terrible inside I'm overwhelmed with guilt and a sense of not deserving his kindness in an attempt to make amends for my betrayal I've been exceptionally attentive to him since we returned from our trip while we've always been naturally affectionate with each other I'm taking it to another level my dad even playfully teases us suggesting we get a room because we're constantly engaged in some form of public display of affection like I mentioned earlier I won't delve into details but I want to clarify how things unfolded with my co-worker I
was chosen to join a special work team at my company this project was a significant Venture for the company and held great importance for our shareholders working on this assignment was satisfying but incredibly demanding and stressful to the extent that one of our team members a woman experienced a nervous breakdown most of our work on the project was done remotely but we did have three in-person team meetings along the way as we neared the Project's completion something went wrong with the part I was responsible for this required me to spend a week at one of
our Regional Offices to fix the issue initially three of us were scheduled to go but at the last minute the woman I mentioned who had the nervous breakdown had to cancel for obvious reasons this left me and another co-worker whom I'll call Percy to tackle the problem and ensure the project met its deadline we were on a tight schedule and worked continuously from 7am to well past 10 pm for the first two nights spending every available moment together we worked together in the office and ordered food for both lunch and dinner I was extremely stressed
and I felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown as well thankfully by 4 pm on Wednesday we managed to solve the problem to celebrate we went to a nice restaurant and had a bit too much to drink after returning to the hotel one thing led to another and I cheated on my husband it was a spontaneous thoughtless action at first I didn't have any negative feelings about it because I somehow Justified it due to our hard work so the next night Percy and I repeated what we did the night before however after
being together on Thursday the harsh reality of our actions hit me and then Percy we quickly regretted what we had done Percy knew I was happily married and I knew he was engaged to be married we decided right then and there to forget about it as if it never happened we were also worried that if news of this affair ever got out within our company it could damage our reputations and potentially jeopardize our jobs since it occurred during a company paid business trip we went our separate ways that night and agreed not to speak or
communicate unless absolutely necessary it wouldn't be too difficult since the project we worked on was a unique situation and we lived on opposite sides of the country making it unlikely for us to cross paths again we ended things that night or so I thought on the flight back home I felt fine at first but then I started feeling anxious when I thought about meeting Deegan at the airport I managed to hold myself together until I reached the pickup area and saw him waiting there wearing a big smile as soon as I laid eyes on him
I burst into tears and we hugged and kissed each other repeatedly holding on tightly we were locked in that Embrace for so long that an airport police officer approached us tapping on the window and signaling us to clear the pickup Lane Deegan asked me what was wrong and I explained that I had been under immense stress and missed him so much that I couldn't help but break down when I saw him he understood and that night we shared a beautiful and passionate night together since I returned from the trip I've been taking extra care of
him he's enjoying the attention and deserves it but inside I'm suffering guilt is eating away at my mind and it's getting worse by the day I struggle with sleep and appetite and it's affecting my work all I want is to be close to my husband and show him how much I love him I even have recurring nightmares about him discovering the affair and leaving me last week we decided to try to conceive a child which has heightened my emotions about everything I keep thinking that I don't deserve him or that he deserves someone better I
don't believe I can continue like this for another week no one knows about the affair except for Percy and me my situation gets even tougher because I have nobody to confide in I sense my inner conscience urging me to be truthful and tell Deegan about my actions but I'm terrified that it will cost me our relationship I understand that if I confess it will devastate him and he might not see me the same way again however I believe he might eventually forgive me given his deep love for me and his naturally kind and caring nature
so here's my dilemma should I disclose my meaningless Affair from two months ago to my husband or should I stay silent and make amends in other ways I'd really appreciate hearing from those of you who faced a similar situation and how you handled it please be honest and share both the positive and negative outcomes first update 32 days after my initial post I want to express my gratitude to all of you for your heartfelt responses I've carefully read each one and value your willingness to share your personal experiences after much contemplation and three counseling sessions
with an excellent therapist I've decided to tell my husband it's going to be incredibly tough for me and it will undoubtedly devastate him but it's something I have to do to prepare for this I've created a detailed timeline of the affair which wasn't difficult since it was purely physical and lasted less than 24 hours with no emotional involvement my therapist has also provided me with some helpful articles on how to support a spouse dealing with infidelity specifically what actions to avoid I'm mentally prepared for the possibility that he might need some time apart from me
based on what I've learned this reaction is entirely normal although I will be saddened if he chooses to react that way as I mentioned earlier my husband is an affectionate and caring man he's generous and protective so I don't anticipate him responding in that manner to this news instead I believe he will be hurt and disappointed by my actions I'm mentally prepared for a range of responses keep your fingers crossed for me 13 months after my previous update hello everyone it's been quite some time since I last posted here many of you have reached out
inquiring about the progress of my situation I want to express my gratitude for your interest and concern I intended to provide an update earlier but life got pretty hectic and I simply didn't have the time or energy things have finally started to settle down for me recently so here I am I'll continue where I left off if you recall I was about to confess to my husband about the short-lived Affair I had with a co-worker my plan was to have that conversation on a Saturday morning and I followed through with it I ensured that we'd
both be present that morning because we had plans for the afternoon and I wanted to talk without interruptions on the morning of the confession I was a bundle of nerves and I almost backed out of it Looking Back Now I wish I had I prepared deegan's favorite breakfast and after we ate I disclosed the affair to him he listened attentively as I spoke without uttering a word when I finished he gazed at me as if he were peering right through me then he excused himself and retreated to the office closing the door behind him I
approached the door and attempted to turn the handle but it was locked I spoke to him through the door reiterating how sorry I was and expressing my love for him I informed him that I'd be waiting in the living room when he was ready to talk based on what I had read in articles it suggested that those who have strayed should give the Betrayed partner plenty of space so that's precisely what I did after a few minutes I thought I heard him talking to someone so I quietly went back to the door to see if
I could make out the conversation unfortunately I couldn't so I returned to the living room then I received a call from my mom which I let go to voicemail because I didn't have the time to talk to her about 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door when I looked out I saw my parents standing there I opened the door and was about to suggest they come back later because Deacon and I were in the middle of a private discussion however my mom mentioned that Deegan had called them and confessed everything I couldn't
believe it and was left speechless my dad asked if it was true and I asked true about what my dad inquired did you have an affair with one of your co-workers I admitted to it and started crying my mom asked how I could do such a thing before I could respond Deegan emerged from the office and began conversing with my parents completely ignoring me and referring to me in the third person he requested that my dad take me away from there as he wasn't in a good State of Mind I continued to try to communicate
with him but he kept ignoring me focusing solely on my parents as though I were invisible desperate for his attention I approached him and hugged him though he didn't push me away he didn't hug me back either after I let go of him he returned to the office and locked the door my parents began asking me questions about the affair which upset me and I ran into the bedroom my mom followed me in and we had a conversation for a while and then she helped me pack a few things before leaving I spoke to Deegan
through the door expressing my love for him and stating that I would stay away until he was ready to talk I informed him that I was heading to my parents house and would remain there as long as he needed I didn't receive any communication from him for the rest of the day I attempted to contact him several times but he didn't respond in my final text I mentioned that I was coming over because I was worried about him he replied and requested that I give him some space I spent the entire day crying and repeatedly
asking myself how something like this could happen when I woke up on Sunday morning my parents were sitting at the table drinking coffee with sad Expressions on their faces I thought they were upset about my actions but there was more to it my dad informed me that Deegan had come over earlier that morning I was excited and inquired if they had spoken to him my dad replied no we didn't see him I then asked how they knew he was there my dad explained that it was because he had left my car in the driveway filled
with all my belongings upon hearing this I simply said what and rushed out to the driveway where I saw my SUV parked and packed to the brim with trash bags seeing that I broke down and fell to the ground crying I couldn't believe what I was witnessing I told my parents that I needed to go to my house to speak with Deegan upon my arrival he was at home but didn't answer the door I attempted to unlock the doors using my keys but the internal deadbolts were engaged and I couldn't gain access my next thought
was to enter through the garage but when I checked my visor I realized Deegan had taken the remote my idea was to enter through the garage keypad but he had changed the code effectively locking me out of my own house given the early hour on a Sunday morning I didn't want to disturb the neighbors so I started texting him initially I was polite but when he didn't respond I sent a text expressing that it was my place too and he couldn't just lock me out his response was simply sue me I couldn't believe that the
man I had once loved deeply and who had been kind and caring was treating me this way I knew I deserved consequences but not like this at the very least I expected him to be civil and not behave like someone irrational ultimately I returned to my parents house locked myself in my old room and spent most of the day in tears utterly bewildered by the events of the past 24 hours throughout the day I continued my attempts to contact Deegan but he remained unresponsive on Monday morning I contacted my boss and requested three days off
to address the situation I returned to the house on Monday morning and managed to gain entry Deegan was not there and when I entered our bedroom I noticed that all of his clothes were gone it was when I entered the office that I saw something that shattered me I discovered our wedding album cover beside the shredder and Deacon had removed all the pictures and shredded them I couldn't believe it as I walked around the house I noticed that all the pictures of us had disappeared upon further searching I found the empty frames and it became
clear that he had shredded those as well I felt deeply saddened and couldn't comprehend what was unfolding I decided to call deegan's workplace and spoke with the receptionist I inquired if I could speak with him and she informed me that he wouldn't be in the office for the remainder of the week as he had taken the week off I then reached out to my mother-in-law she picked up the call and mentioned that Deegan had already informed her and my father-in-law about everything I asked if she knew his whereabouts and she confirmed that she did but
declined to tell me and abruptly ended the conversation I felt hurt by this situation as I had a close relationship with my in-laws on Wednesday of that week I started receiving calls from Percy I chose to ignore all his calls and sent them to voicemail afterward when I listened to his messages he was urgently requesting me to call him as soon as possible finally in his last message he mentioned that Deegan had somehow contacted his fiancee and disclosed everything about the two of us upon hearing this I called Percy and he was angry he reminded
me that we had promised not to disclose anything to anyone I acknowledged this and admitted that I should have informed him before speaking to my husband but I hadn't anticipated his reaction Percy then revealed that he had told his fiancee that my husband was lying and that nothing had occurred he informed me that she intended to call me and he insisted that I tell her the same story I informed him that I couldn't comply with that request and he began pleading with me once I reiterated my refusal to lie he started verbally attacking me using
hurtful words and insults he wouldn't stop so I decided to end the call by hanging up on him and blocking his number shortly after I received a call from his fiancee and I disclosed everything to her she remained silent as I recounted the events and when I finished she abruptly hung up however the ordeal didn't conclude there when I returned to work the next day I was summoned to the office of the HR Director who happened to be a friend of mine initially I didn't suspect anything amiss but upon arriving I noticed the HR manager
and the director of security were also present I had a feeling I might be in trouble they asked me to take a seat and mention that they had some questions for me they informed me that they had been contacted by someone alleging that Percy and I had engaged in an affair during company time and had utilized company resources my heart sank and I started to cry I then proceeded to confess what had occurred but clarified that nothing had happened during official work hours the HR Director explained that when salaried employees travel for business the entire
trip is considered work time she went on to clarify that the hotel room is regarded as a company resource since it was paid for by the company they proceeded to inquire about the second night when Percy and I were together they asked if I had dinner with Percy that evening and I reluctantly admitted that I had they followed up by asking if I had consumed wine to which I replied affirmatively disclosing that I had two glasses next they inquired if I had bought the wine and I responded that I hadn't Percy had made the purchase
the HR Director pointed out that this violated company policy because employees are not allowed to use another employee's card for food or drinks as a result I received a final written warning for these infractions while Percy faced termination to clarify there was no preferential treatment due to my gender Percy would have faced the same consequences if those were the only issues but unfortunately for him there was more to his situation Percy got terminated because he extended his stay by an extra day without a legitimate business reason and charged the entire expense including the flight change
fee hotel stay and all his meals which included the two bottles of wine he extended his stay solely to be with me the following evening I feel deeply remorseful about what happened to Percy he was an outstanding employee with a promising future but now he's unemployed and his fiance left him all because of my actions as for me any aspirations of getting a promotion in the aftermath of this incident seem unlikely to add to the turmoil the following Monday at work Deacon had divorce papers served to me at the reception desk the receptionist called to
inform me that there was a delivery up front as I arrived there a man was waiting with a box of flowers I hoped they were a gift from Deegan and indeed they were however after I signed for the package the man handed me the flowers and then delivered the divorce papers stating Mrs Jenny you have officially been served with divorce papers my world fell apart at that moment and I couldn't hold back my tears I had to leave the office and decided to take the rest of the week off over the next seven months I
made every effort to salvage my marriage but Deegan refused to engage with me at all in fact he hasn't uttered a single word to me since I confessed our divorce has now been finalized but I'm still struggling emotionally I cherish and miss the kind man he used to be before my affair but I understand that person no longer exists I acknowledge that I deserve to face consequences for my actions but I never anticipated deegan's reaction I knew there was a slim chance that my confession could end our relationship but I believe that likelihood was exceedingly
rare I want to conclude with a message for my husband babe if you ever come across this I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry and will love you eternally all right that was a fun story now let's move on to another exciting one stay tuned and let's dive in I'm 36 years old and my wife is 38. we first crossed paths when I was in my third year of college and she was in her fourth since that day we've been together after dating for three years we made the decision to move in
together then after three more years we tied the knot two years after that our happiness grew when my wife became pregnant and we welcomed our daughter into the world like any typical family we had our fair share of domestic disagreements but we always managed to reconcile swiftly sometimes even in the middle of an argument in general we were a traditional family once I completed my education I embarked on my career Journey working hard to climb the corporate ladder eventually I earned enough to afford a spacious four-room apartment we invested significantly in renovating it and happily
settled into our new home my wife after her maternity leave resumed her career which went quite smoothly she secured a good position and started earning a decent income with our combined earnings we achieved financial prosperity over time we acquired everything we needed including a new apartment for our growing daughter luxurious cars and all the Comforts one could desire life felt abundant I held deep love for my wife and remained faithful to her throughout our marriage I wasn't a heavy drinker but occasionally I'd enjoy a glass of wine with dinner I recently gave up smoking we
always planned our vacations together and I developed a passion for diving and skiing while my wife chose not to dive due to fear she took up skiing Our Lives revolved around working earning money and savoring the rewards of our hard work my wife's job was related to international business often involving meetings with colleagues from abroad for negotiations gradually I began to notice that her interactions with these colleagues appeared to be longer than before while it initially piqued my curiosity I didn't pay much attention to it at first another notable change was her receiving Snapchat messages
in the evenings oddly when her foreign colleagues were around these messages stopped coming a couple of times I checked her phone after she had fallen asleep but all the messages had been deleted I observed that the last message consistently arrived around 7pm even though her phone received notifications after she had already gone to bed in the end suspicion completely consumed me one evening she arrived home late around 10 pm and I perhaps foolishly jokingly inquired if she had Bid Farewell to her secret admirer I witnessed a fear in her eyes like never before however once
she realized I was teasing she smiled and dismissed it calling me a fool furthermore she occasionally traveled abroad to visit her colleagues in return when my suspicions peaked I reached a Breaking Point I resorted to installing spyware on her phone enabling remote control through SMS or my personal account this software could capture audio from her surroundings take pictures with the camera and send all the data to my personal account one day she embarked on another business trip and in the evening after spending time with our daughter assisting her with homework and putting her to bed
by 10 pm I accessed the spyware account and instructed it to record her phone's surroundings for 10 minutes a few minutes later a recording popped up on my account and upon listening I heard my wife's voice in a room with a man they conversed in English and I comprehended every word their discussion revolved around ordinary life matters accompanied by laughter I realized they were alone in that room then a sudden clinking of glasses amid their laughter sent my heart racing at that instant I sent another command to record for an additional 20 minutes and capture
an image of the surroundings shockingly the photo came out as a dark Square indicating the phone was placed with the camera facing down swiftly I directed the program to snap a picture using the front camera the resulting photo showed the phone resting on the bedside table in the room partially capturing the bed's headboard and an adjacent wall lamp fifteen minutes later another recording emerged sending shivers down my spine as I played it their laughter and conversation filled my ears once more I found myself in a state of disbelief and shock as if my entire world
were collapsing right before my eyes stunned I poured myself a drink and instructed the program to record for an additional four hours during which I drowned my sorrows in alcohol the following morning Thursday I was utterly shattered as it was time for my daughter to go to school I informed her that she didn't need to attend classes that day I also notified my boss that I would be taking a couple of personal days until Monday my wife's expected return was on Sunday so I settled down and began listening to the four-hour recording however I could
only bear to listen for 40 minutes because at that moment I unmistakably heard the sounds of my wife's pleasure the same sounds I had known for over 13 years it felt like a sharp knife had pierced my heart causing both emotional and physical anguish stunned and overwhelmed I hurried to the bathroom feeling nauseous I couldn't tell if it was a hangover or the current situation causing it I stood under a freezing shower for 20 minutes Desperately Seeking relief afterward I took our daughter to visit her grandparents promising to explain everything later and then returned home
alone during lunch my wife called and genuinely inquired about my well-being I stood there in silence unable to utter a word feigning a poor connection I informed her that I wasn't feeling well and would stay home for a few days entrusting our daughter to her grandmother's care that day felt like the most agonizing of my life I experienced a personal hell feeling utterly lost and unsure of how to proceed my mind was consumed by a constant buzzing that drowned out my own thoughts I sat on the couch and wept like a child overwhelmed by waves
of anger and apathy the more I let my emotions out the more they seemed to numb me by the day's end I was emotionally drained in the evening I returned to the spyware account and began giving commands to the phone I received photos some taken from her bag and others from the table there were recordings of her performances in restaurants with numerous voices presumably her colleagues then as the evening progressed I stumbled upon something different the phone was once again on the bedside table capturing her voice along with someone else's however this time there were
no intimate sounds unable to endure it any longer I called her after four rings she answered noticeably panting I inquired about her heavy breathing and she explained that the hotel elevator had broken down forcing her to climb the stairs to her room we talked for a while and I did my best to maintain a calm and steady voice eventually I mentioned that I was going to bed wished her good night hung up and swiftly sent a command to the Spy program requesting a rapid series of pictures using the front camera her mistake occurred right then
after our call she placed the phone not on the bedside table but on the bed beside her as a result the front-facing camera started capturing slightly tilted but candid photos these images revealed her sitting astride someone else with her head thrown back following that there was a recording that captured unmistakable sounds instantly exposing her actions that was the final straw for me and I documented these notes and materials at that point she had become a complete stranger to me from that moment on I refrained from further investigation until Sunday because everything had become painfully clear
I was pondering my next steps should I pursue a divorce what about our six-year-old daughter on Sunday late at night she returned home eager to kiss me I pulled away telling her I was still unwell I had an urge to confront her and let my anger out instead I retreated to the office and slept on the sofa the following morning I woke up before her couldn't bear to be around her any longer and headed to work I endured the day mechanically then approached my boss and urgently requested a week's vacation I saved all the proof
on a flash drive and then phoned my wife I told her I had to go on a one-day business trip but asked her not to take our daughter away from her grandmother because I had a surprise planned that night when I returned home I packed my bag quickly she helped me pack acting politely and innocently however her insincerity made me angry I took my bag left the USB drive on the bedroom nightstand and called a taxi to our second apartment the one set aside for our daughter once there I called a friend and suggested going
abroad for a few days he agreed and we hastily booked tickets for an early morning flight to Munich it was in Munich that I confessed everything to him we explored the city socialized with other women and to be honest I no longer had any feelings for my wife I ignored her calls and only messaged her to insert the USB drive into my laptop after about 30 minutes my phone started ringing Non-Stop and I received numerous messages but I didn't care anymore so I turned off my phone we continued our adventures in Munich for three more
days before I flew back home on Saturday when I returned I turned on my phone and it took me five minutes to go through a bunch of messages from my wife however I chose not to read them because I was afraid of getting confused before going into the apartment when I entered it was oddly quiet inside I quietly placed my bag down remove my shoes and was about to wash my hands when she emerged from the bedroom oh my goodness I had never seen her looking so disheveled and swollen with tears streaming down her face
she dropped to her knees trying to explain something incoherently amidst her sobs and tears I maintained a stoic expression urging her not to make a scene then in a composed manner I asked her about our next steps she begged me for forgiveness once again drowning in tears and mucus she admitted she had made a terrible mistake claiming she didn't understand how things had come to this point she even started calling herself names and so on but you know I realized that I no longer felt sympathy or anger toward her she cried out that she loved
me and had always loved only me and that all of this had happened because she had been foolish and realized during my absence that she had ruined our relationship but as they say revenge is best served cold I told her that we were no longer husband and wife just Mom and Dad for our daughter we would pretend everything was okay between us but I would live my life and she could live hers she was no longer the only one in my life she was just my partner in raising our child maybe someday I'll change my
mind but for now the thought of being intimate with her makes me sick by the way I told her where I had been and what I had been doing she said she understood everything and was willing to endure whatever it took well no one forced her to speak as a result we now share the same apartment although to be honest I've already purchased another one for myself and put it in my father's name to avoid property disputes I spend most of my time sleeping in the office although occasionally I sleep in the bedroom for my
daughter's sake there have been a few times when my wife tried to hug me when we shared a bed but I rejected her firmly it's been three months since we were intimate she hasn't confided in her parents only her father knows about my situation we agreed to take a family vacation once a year for a week but now we'd have separate beds I often hang out with friends and have made new acquaintances including some attractive women sometimes I wonder when she'll reach a Breaking Point and leave or file for divorce but she hasn't yet I
frequently catch her staring at me like a scared cat but honestly I don't care even though I see you're making efforts I find satisfaction in her pain recently I provocatively placed a pack of rubbers on my office desk to taunt her despite her reaction she entered the office to say something notice the rubbers on the table and hurried out probably in tears she still goes to work but she doesn't stay late anymore although I don't really keep tabs on her at some point she tried to explain to me that she had severed all non-business ties
with another man it seems she'll still need to communicate with him for work-related matters but she swears she doesn't approach him now by the way that guy also has a family I told her that her relationships with sexual partners are none of my concern and she's free to do as she pleases she doesn't need to inform me about her intimate encounters I also stay out late sometimes now leaving when my daughter goes to bed on Friday nights for example naturally I don't hold back when it comes to my desires if I want sex it happens
in the morning I go to the office to sleep or to the bedroom if she's not there anymore there haven't been any changes in our daily routine at home I continue to do the grocery shopping and I enjoy cooking we still have a housekeeper for cleaning so that aspect Remains the Same I've been covering the rent for the apartment and I still am I'm not concerned about how or if she's spending her money our communication is limited to our daughter or her parents when they visit although I have a feeling that if I were to
tell my mother-in-law she might confront her right in front of me I have a good relationship with my mother-in-law she's a smart woman who values family strongly this is probably one reason why my wife doesn't want to leave it seems like she's afraid of her mom because she knows her mother would ask what's going on and I won't lie in general I tease my wife as much as I can and I find enjoyment in it yes maybe I've become somewhat of a monster now but she's the one who brought this out in me and you
know what surprises me her persistence and patience it's like a challenge to me I wonder how much more she can endure and please don't start with the whole she's the mother of your child blah blah blah she didn't care much about that when she was involved with that guy for half a year she was going on business trips or having Affairs in this city without thinking about our daughter or her husband no comment whenever I feel like I might soften I remember that day and what I felt and it strengthens my resolve I become unyielding
again so this is how I'm living now our daughter is doing well we're good parents and I still help her with her schoolwork in the evenings our mutual friends are unaware of our situation maybe when I get tired of tormenting her or decide enough is enough I'll switch off my hostile mode and have a conversation with her but not right now not now [Music] thank you
