how to stop being a victim | mindset shifts to take control of your life & cut out the BS!

for so many years I felt like such a victim I was always complaining around the way that my life was around the way that people treated me the fact that just nobody understands me and the horrific card that I had been dealt in life but thank God eventually I realized that staying in victim mentality just kept me stuck in the same old cycle over and over and would never allow me to move forward your traumas are definitely real but they are not your identity and the more that you choose to stay stuck in them and

allow them to create the physical experience that you have every single day the longer you're going to be stuck there it's a hard truth but you can't keep saying this is who I am because of what happened to me every single person on this planet has a sad story but half of those people use it as an excuse to stay stagnant and complain all day and the other half use it as their driving force to be better and more successful than you could have ever imagined so which one do you want to be if it's

this one then stay tuned for the rest of the video because I'm going be breaking down how to recognize a victim mentality so that you can finally cut it out of your life and then breaking down all the mindset shifts you need to go from victim to hero and then finally the homework chapter where I share with you all practical steps and tips so that you can finally get to a successful place in your life where victim mentality has no place but before we get right into it be sure to check out all of my

links Below in the description where you can check out my two other YouTube channels one of which is my podcast self obsessed and the other one my Vlog Channel where you guys can check out how I live my life and all of my my healthy productive routines on a day-to-day basis along with my Instagram and Tik Tok and Snapchat and also I want to give a big shout out to Squarespace who have kindly sponsored this video if you didn't know Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform built for entrepreneurs to be able to stand out and

succeed online no matter what their expertise it doesn't matter if you're growing a huge brand or you're just getting started squares basically got you covered they're going to give you all the tips all of the knowledge all of the tools and a step-by-step guide to make sure that none of it is complicated for you Squarespace makes it super easy to create a beautiful website with the array of gorgeous templates they have not to mention the other set of templates they have so that you can start email marketing to your audience which by the way is

so hard to do on your own I doubled in it myself in Squarespace takes out all of the complicated stuff out of it the reason that Squarespace is my favorite website hosting platform is because they really take care of their novice entrepreneurs with all of the blogs they have on their site that teaches you anything you would ever want to know whether it's email marketing using AI leveling up your SEO strategy to make sure that you invite so much more traffic onto your website Squarespace also takes monetizing your passion a huge Step Beyond the traditional

method of having a business you can integrate your social media you can use a scheduling features to be able to set up appointments with your clients and this means holding absolutely no inventory not to mention all the Integrations that Squarespace has so that you can use other platforms to be able to sell even digital products if that was your thing to be able to make another amazing stream of income so if you're ready to start your business owner Journey because there's literally no excuse left then you guys need to go to squarespace.com to get started

and whenever you're ready to launch then come back to this video and click my unique link below in the description squarespace.com tamore because that will give you 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain chapter number one how to recognize how victim mentality is showing up in your life and step number one is probably the biggest which is that you blame other people for your situation or the happenings in your life for example my friends are always too busy for me my parents were never there for me and you know what I

have to talk about the parent thing in a little bit more detail because to be completely honest that was me I used to feel so unlucky with the family that I had and the upbringing that I had and I thought I can't believe I've been dealt this card in my life and although it's not false what I'm saying and although that treatment was not deserved I had to step out of that and take accountability my own life to realize I cannot control that that is an external circumstance all I can control is the mindset that

I have around that particular situation because there's no changing it and so instead wouldn't I rather do myself the favor to grab myself a little bit more peace and happiness in my life of realizing this is my parents' first time living through life they have their own set of traumas their own upbringing that they didn't agree with either and they're literally always doing the best they can to try and raise you or teach you with the knowledge and with the resources that they have at their disposal and if you can't relate and you feel like

your parents are always mistreating you then it's switching your mindset to they are hurting themselves they didn't have the opportunity or the time or the privilege to be able to recognize that they had traumas to heal and it's okay to go to therapy or it's okay to work on yourself or you're not a bad person for recognizing you have weaknesses and then you need to try and fix those to be able to be a better person for other people and once you realize that it finally allows you to take yourself out of the situation and

stop this Narrative of life is so unfair and everybody hates me and whatever I have it's the worst case situation and you finally start seeing things for how they are which finally gives you the freedom to be able to move on past it sign number two a victim mentality is your language when you're going through tough times of course it feels like a natural instinct to feel like everything is against me you know I feel unlucky why is this so hard for me why do I keep failing over and over again nothing's working out for

me maybe I'm not meant for this and while that may feel true in the moment you are reinforcing that narrative you are making that your identity and you are attracting the same old situations and results into your life by deciding to say that throughout every negative experience you have and so instead when you go through a negative experience and you switch oh my God nothing ever works out for me too I have to go through tough times to be able to evolve and grow as a person and become stronger and wiser and more powerful I

am never going to be able to be the most ideal version of myself if I don't go through all of the challenges and obstacles now to be able to become her she is only that smart and resilient and powerful and confident because of all of the things that Tred to knock her down and the wisdom and the knowledge she gained in overcoming each of those challenges so I welcome these challenges they are simply an inevitable part of my journey of evolution and growth that I need to be able to get to the next phase and

the next level in my life of growing and succeeding and becoming the best version of myself and so I would never say everything bad happens to me because in actuality everything is working in my favor for my greater purpose and the story line that I must go on to be able to f fill all of my gifts and true potential moving on to chapter number two now that we know the two biggest causes and signs of having victim mentality so that we can work back from them now it's time that I share with you guys

all of the mindset shifts you guys need to go from victim to Hero step number one is no more why AKA we need to stop trying to put meaning to all of the challenges and all of the adversities we have because when you're so focused on why does this keep happening to me why can't I find a good guy why can't I trust anyone and you're constantly trying to find the meaning behind your problems you are still stuck and stagnant because you aren't actually actioning moving on or trying a different way of living so the

mindset shift here is to stop asking why and replace it by asking what's next you need to stop dwelling on the past and how many times one situation has happened to you and instead think if this is a situation that I keep going through and I don't like it okay what's the step now to make sure that I never have to deal with it ever again is it by surrounding myself with different people is it about changing my mindset is it about showing up in a different way and this mindset makes you feel so much

more empowered because it reinforces the truth that you are in fact in control of your reality whereas victim mentality completely goes against that and tries to train you into thinking that everything is happening to you and you are so unlucky step number two is my favorite and this is character switching I want you to take a second to imagine yourself 5 years from now you're not just out here existing in survival mode questioning why everything is happening the way it is no no no no you are thriving you are successful you get every single thing

you ever wanted you're living a life that reflects your true potential one that frees you from the shackles of your past trauma you do not identify with the person that you used to be in the life you used to live because you were leveled up so much and that right there was an example of visualization when I was personally trying to shift out of my Victim mentality experience which went on for so many years by the way I started to visualize myself as someone who didn't have any problems in her life who was so so

happy who was thriving who got to do what she wanted to do for work who felt free and this might sound so simple but it's already so transformative because it gets you out of the habit of having a victim mentality and it reduces the amount of time you're spending each day being consumed by your problems and your unluckiness and instead replacing it with time where you're thinking about a better future about how things are going to improve about all the abundance you're going to gain in your life which directly goes against everything that victim mentality

stands for and so it cancels each other out so I think think a really powerful exercise you guys can practice is right now to visualize a character in a book or a movie and imagine this character has all of the problems that you are struggling with right now and now think what would they do if those problems were a part of their story you might not know the exact solution but you do know how boring if while I continue to watch this movie or read this book this character sits there and does nothing and complains

and cries for the next hour no no no you know this character and you know how movies end if you know how books said this character is going to pick up and they're going to try something else and the story line is going to shift and you're going to be taken on this entire adventure of how they solve these problems and become better because of it so that they can get to the inevitable happy ending of that movie and guess what that character is you life is a game life is like a book or a

movie you have your story and you get to create every single chapter and moment of it and what this really links into and what I've been trying to say this whole time with character switching is this is an example of having an alter ego which I have an entire to this on my YouTube channel and the form of identity switching which is when you finally separate yourself from everything that you are familiar with and everything that may be real in your Physical Realm right now and instead shift it to who you want to be and

the last step for this chapter is to take accountability and step into your highest self this step really links into the first cause that we broke down in this video which is victim mentality is caused by blaming external situations and external people but this goes directly against it because by taking accountability and knowing I am not where I want to be in life because I keep skipping the gym or waking up late or maybe I shouldn't have let that person have access to me and then maybe my piece would have been protected in order to

move on and create the reality that you really want so that victim mentality no longer has a place there we actually have to take accountability for the role that we play in each of these situations because while that person shouldn't have treated you that way and while none of your traumas are deserved we always had a role to play we didn't have the correct boundaries in our life when that person came into it we had worked on our self-esteem and our insecurities which then influenced the circle that we had around us we were procrastinating and

we weren't having our priorities for our studies in the right place which then got us the results that we had in the end and this form of taking accountability is not about feeling guilty or feeling bad about yourself it's about recognizing that you have all of the control and all of the power in your life at all times and the second that you start to realize your mistakes something magical starts to happen which is if these are the actions which got me that result now you start to gain all of the these ideas about the

next actions that you need to implement to make sure you never get those results again and you start to get better ones that align to your dreams and what links into this is stepping into your highest self your higher self is not consumed by its ego so when bad things happens it doesn't think in the way your ego does which is I can't believe that person treated me that way or I can't believe this happened no your higher self thinks I needed this experience this is teaching me something about myself this is teaching me a

valuable lesson that I need to be able to move on in my life I am so grateful to have had this experience because of the knowledge it's given me for example your highest self knows that a breakup isn't a failure it doesn't determine your attractiveness or your worth or your capabilities in finding the love of your life it was simply a stepping stone to refining your standards and just finding the person that's actually meant for you and when you look at things from this perspective nothing is good or bad anymore it's simply a part of

your Evolution and so you can't take anything personally anymore there is no such thing as being a victim in fact you're always the hero of your story because everything is always working out for you and that brings us to the final chapter of this video Chapter 3 homework AKA practical steps to progress on this journey to going from victim to hero in your life by the way if you like all the homework chapters in my videos and all the Practical steps that I give to back up all the advice I give then you're absolutely going

to love my book that just came out it's called by yourself the damn flowers and it's available worldwide on Amazon and every single chapter ends with a homework page that has at least five tasks for every single chapter that helps you progress on your self-love journey to being the baddest most confident empowered and highest version of yourself so make sure you check it out home task number one practice opposite action all this means is that whenever you're next presented with a challenge or a problem which is making you want to act in a way that

reinforces your victim mindset egy blaming complaining feeling sorry for yourself self-pity urge yourself to instead replace it with the opposite action because honestly this is a long journey and it's going to take a lot of practice to to get you out of this mentality that you've been stuck in for a long time and instead replace it with one that aligns to your higher self but the more often that you practice the opposite reaction the more it's going to feel like second nature to you and you will literally level up into that type of person so

the next time that you want to complain or blame you are going to ship that and replace it with gratitude by knowing that this is just an inevitable step on your growth Journey that everything is always working out for you that this is teaching you something but you just don't know it yet the goal here is to just rewire your actions and your language to break out of the pattern the victim mentality is keeping you stuck in her task number two is to create a victory log I want you to write down all of the

victories that you achieve every single day it doesn't matter how big or how small it could literally be making your bed if that is something you usually struggle with you could write down things like I didn't snooze my alarm this morning or I woke up 30 minutes earlier than I usually would I got this task completed today I went to the gym even though I felt really shy and then at the end of every day or simply when you're feeling a little bit down about yourself or that life isn't going very great you need to

read through this list and be reminded of all of the times you showed up for yourself all of the times you proved how abundant and amazing and Powerful life is because it's actually all in your control it's so easy to forget the progress we make every single day when we're so consumed about where we need to be or the next steps we need to take and so by doing this activity you are so much aware of all of the progress and all of the ones you've made that it becomes so much easier to see almost

every experience as an opportunity rather than an obstacle and the final homework task is probably most important and this is to challenge your why me narrative you stop being a victim when you finally step away from saying why me and start saying thank you and the way to do this is by first cutting out the why me language in a situation and instead looking at the situation through a few different angles and the easiest way to do this is just by asking yourself the following questions whenever you're struggling in a certain situation question number one

is what benefits could come from this challenge this could be new skills a fresh start a new mindset a little bit more knowledge or wisdom a new standard you need to set in your life question number two is what lessons can I learn from this experience basically what can you take from this situation or challenge or adversity that's going to then make you stronger in the future and finally question number three how can I utilize this experience to grow into the best version of myself yeah that's right you are taking every single Challenge and obstacle

that life throws at you and making it your bit you are always focusing on what you can control you are taking every single Challenge and extracting all of the abundance and all of the knowledge out of it to be able to make sure that it is simply just a role and basically your employee and making sure that you are leveling up into the best version of yourself and honestly after seeing it that way why would you ever feel like a victim again and that brings us to the end of this video I hope you guys

enjoyed it if you did as always please comment down below and let me know what resonated with you what step you really liked what piece of advice you like and which homework task you are going to be completing cuz I'm going to be reading through all of your comments and responding to some as well so I would love to know because it really helps me in improving my videos and getting out more knowledge and more value I actually made this video because it was requested by one of you guys so be sure to leave all

of your other requests below and yeah also check out all of the links Below in my description with all of my socials I post every single day exclusive advice on my Tik Tok and Instagram but I will see you guys same time next week on Friday for a brand new video bye I me [Music]