You have roast beets on a bed of beet noodles, steamed beets, and beet puree. I thought I was a guest. You might expect a former first lady to be serious and careful with every word.
But Michelle Obama clearly didn't get that memo. From roasting Barack to delivering brutally honest answers. She knows how to turn an ordinary conversation into comedy.
And these moments prove she has a hilarious side you don't want to miss. If I had worry about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn't be married to the president of the United States [cheering] today. So Michelle Obama may be known for her elegance, but when it comes to keeping Barack in line, she has her own way of doing things.
And the way she casually reminds everyone that even the president better keep his promises is absolutely hilarious. This is the White House. And we're passing the Rose Garden as you see here.
Yeah. This is the Oval Office. My husband is in there somewhere.
Is he in there right now? He better be. That's where he said he was.
[laughter] Michelle Obama's honesty is part of what makes her so hilarious. And you never quite know what she's going to say next. Do you still cook?
No. Not a stick of cooking. That is not one of the things that I need in defining myself.
I don't need to cook. Now, I know Oprah, you like to cook, but but I like to cook when I want to. Yes.
I don't ever want to. Okay. [laughter] Imagine your wife exposing your habits in front of everyone while you're sitting right next to her.
That's exactly the situation Barack Obama found himself in, and he couldn't stop laughing. The thing I should say is that I tend to start back from the back from the crust, which is irritating. Well, when I'm taking a bite from you.
That's why we don't share pie. Can you imagine sharing your pie with somebody and having them start with the crust? Do I have to like take a small bite because I'm on TV?
Oh, that's a Oh, that's a big bite. And that's irritating, too, if you're sharing pie. Cuz he took half the pie.
This is what I'm saying, Robin. That's not sharing. We don't share anymore cuz he eats it like that.
Look, the the crust is gone. Everything that makes a pie delicious is gone in his one bite. When Barack Obama first brought up the idea of running for president, Michelle's reaction was absolutely hilarious.
You know, when Barack approached me about running for president, my first response was, "No, no, dude. That sounds scary and crazy. " Oh.
Michelle Obama proves that even a conversation about gardening can turn into an opportunity to roast Barack. The number one fun fact about gardening. With enough care and effort, you can grow your own baraci.
Wow, look at this. [applause] When Malia Obama got behind the wheel for the first time, Michelle had one message for everyone. And the way she put it was priceless.
My kids, they want nothing to do with us. [laughter] Wait, what? No, I I am so serious.
I mean, Malia's like, "God, please just don't come to my school. " Just keep your SWAT team and your [laughter] Are they driving? You know, Malia's will be.
She's uh she's going to turn 16 this summer, so we're kind of dealing with that. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen in DC, watch out.
[laughter] Uh yeah, Obama on the road. Yeah. Michelle Obama decided to show everyone just how well she knows her husband, and her impression did not disappoint.
The accuracy makes it even funnier. At the dinner table, and Malia will start it because she usually asks the serious question, "Well, dad, tell us about your day. " Oh, and what about that conversation on uh global warming?
The Sasha and I are like, "Oh, God, no. Don't get him started. " He's like, "Well, no, I'm glad you I'm glad you asked that.
Um, let me just um let me just answer that in three points. One, [laughter] and then one A, and then one A and B. " And Sasha and I are like, "Well, you're also extra lonely cuz you had a full house during co.
" Well, it's still ongoing, but with at the height of it, your daughters were home and now they're gone, so it's an empty house. Bye. [laughter] You'd think living in the White House means having life on easy mode.
But Michelle Obama revealed something about living there that most people would never expect. Most [music] interesting things I learned from your book is that the president first lady family, [music] you have to pay for your food while you're in the White House. Go figure.
And most people don't know what it's like to live in the White House. So, you know, only 45 families have done it. Um, but the rent is free, staff is free.
You know, we we shouldn't be mooching off with the taxpayers. But So, you're okay with that? Yeah.
But it's a little shocking because nobody really tells you this stuff. And then they let you get whatever you want. Um, like if you say you want some exotic fruit.
Yes, ma'am. We'll get that right away. And then you get the bill for a peach and it's like that was a $500 peach.
[laughter] You know, I would tell Barack Barack, do not express pleasure for anything until I unless I know how much it costs. Wow. Michelle Obama spent 8 years living in the White House.
But there was one little secret she kept to herself the entire time. And when you hear it, you'll understand why nobody saw it coming. The whole eight years we were in the White House, we used Laura Bush's Netflix password.
[applause] Really? Wow. the revelation.
Laura, sorry. [laughter] Send me the bill. This is you.
Uh uh this is after uh the Trump inauguration. You're waving from Air Force One. [laughter] Yeah.
It's like, can you just walk me through? Bye, Felicia. When Michelle Obama speaks, she doesn't sugarcoat things.
She's brutally honest, says what's on her mind, and never lets being the first lady stop her from keeping it real. He wasn't good with time until we got married. He You seemed like the first time you you met him, right?
He was late to f the first time, first day of work, his first job dude was late. I was like, triflin, brother. [laughter] You know, Michelle Obama learned pretty quickly that living in the White House comes with one major downside.
You might live in the most famous house in America, but apparently even stepping outside isn't that simple. So I went to Barack's office and I said, "We should go outside. " And he was like, "Babe, I've got too much stuff to do.
I [music] can't go out. " I went to Malia's room and I said, "Come on, go with me. " And she says, "Okay, I'm down.
" So it's me and Malia and we're trying to get out of the White House and realize that it's not that easy to get out of the White House when you're in it. We rush down the stairs and you can see the agent thinking, "Why are they running? " and he doesn't quite know what to do.
So, he starts following us and I'm like, "Run faster. Run faster. " And we go down the steps.
So, [clears throat] we go to the door and the door is locked. So, now there are many people behind us and they're like, "Uh, ma'am, where are you going? " I said, "I'm going out.
" And they're watching because and they're calling in more people. She's trying to get out. She's trying to get out.
And then the usher says, "Ma'am, if you walk out there, you will be on camera in front of the nation. " And I'm in ripped up shorts and, you know, a t-shirt, no shoes on, no makeup. And I thought, h, you have a point.
[laughter] Most teens worry about their prom outfits and who they're going with. The Obama girls had a slightly different problem. Their dad was literally the president of the United States.
In the book, you talk about uh Malia going to prom. Malia asks, "Can I please [music] ride with my date in his car? " So, he comes to pick her up.
You know, God knows what [music] happened to him getting in because I tried to make security know he's coming. Don't hassle him. I told him, "Make sure his car is clean, if you know what I mean, because dog sniff the car.
" I said, "I don't want him to be embarrassed. " [music] So, I was I said, "I don't know the kid, but you know, he he's picking up at a different house. " So, he comes in and you can tell he's a little nervous.
and we shake his hand, take a picture, and they get in the car and they go off. And then like three cars follow. [laughter] It's like them and then three cars with men with guns.
And Barack is like, "This makes running for a second term all worthwhile. My daughter is being followed by men with guns to climb. " [laughter] He's like, "I'm good.
" Barack Obama may have been the most powerful man in America, but at home, Michelle was still one step ahead of him. And this hilarious moment proves it. Not just because I'm older and greater.
[laughter] Said I was so fine. I'm not I'm not going to tell Michelle you said that. I hadn't seen that.
[laughter] I love that you hadn't seen that, but you do know. I heard about it. Yeah, you heard about it.
I came home. That's the first thing he said. I was like, "How'd it go?
" Somebody said I was fine. [laughter] I was like, "No, really? That's so sweet.