i'm diagnosed with both autism and adhd and living with both conditions can feel like living a paradox figuring out the best self-care and how to meet my needs can be really complicated because the needs that i have because of my autism and the needs that i have because of my adhd sometimes clash in this video i'll be sharing what that looks like and how i'm learning to navigate life as an rth dear people often ask me what impact having autism and adhd has on my life and which condition causes which traits and the truth is
i find it impossible to tell which condition is causing which trait all i know is that i have a very busy chaotic brain which both thrives on order and rebels against routine and that living with this chaos can be incredibly difficult when lack of order and routine leaves me feeling incredibly unsettled and anxious it is estimated that between 30 and 80 percent of autistic people would also meet the diagnostic criteria for adhd that's a massive margin but even at the lower end of that that would put one-third of autistic people as also having adhd which
is quite a lot and it's actually really reassuring to know that i'm not the only one living like this i recently met another autistic adhd and i found that i really related to her life and her experiences more so than i ever have done with people that just have autism or just have adhd it's a particularly unique experience and it's not one that gets talked about a huge amount as hard as it is to separate the two here's my attempt at defining the main traits of both conditions and if you'd like to hear more about
the differences between autism and adhd i actually made an entire video about this which i'll link to in the description box below adhd is a neurodevelopmental condition which primarily affects executive functioning executive functioning includes working memory the part of our memory which holds information and accesses information short term it's like the post-it notes of the memory system cognitive flexibility the ability to adapt to changing situations emotional control self-control the ability to stop and think before acting task initiation organization and planning and time management and self-monitoring the ability to view and evaluate yourself and autism is
a neurodevelopmental disability which causes differences in social communication and social interaction repetitive and restrictive patterns of behavior interest or activity and sensory processing differences and just to confuse matters autism can impact executive functioning and anecdotally lots of adhd's are saying that they get sensory processing differences as part of their adhd honestly at this point i'm not sure we fully understand the profile of those of us who meet the diagnostic criteria for both and i'm certainly hoping there's going to be a lot more research into this in the future but for now let me share my
personal experience i know that i need a lot of alone time and i find socializing really challenging but at the same time i have an urge to be in social situations really enjoying the buzz of other people's energy and the connections that i get i've learned to limit my social interactions because i've learned that less is definitely more for me when it comes to this area i've found that the best way for me to determine this is to figure out exactly how much social interaction works without overloading me for me that's about once a week
considering that i live with four other people my family sticking to a specific amount is a lot easier for me than just aiming to socialize less but it takes a lot of self-control not to just fill my diary with social stuff leaving me with very little time to regulate then there's the challenge of learning to actually manage the social situations i'm exhausted by conversation but conversely i'll also usually be the chattiest person in the room it's like i'm hyper aware of myself the words i'm saying how hard it is for me to interpret social interaction
and intention and how intense i am but i'm also completely powerless to stop myself from dominating conversations and massively over sharing then afterwards i feel drained and ashamed and i overanalyze every interaction that i had processing information after the fact and wishing that i'd responded differently rather than speaking first and thinking later side note i've actually recently realized this is how i handle my slow processing speed it's like i just let my mouth run and say whatever whilst my brain is still working out what's actually been said and how i actually want to respond i
have wished in the past that i was quieter and that i could restrain my chattiness and be less intense making promises to myself ahead of social situations that this time i'll be quieter and more thoughtful and just give less of myself away and then failing to do so i'm feeling the sting of regret as soon as i walk away or sometimes even during the situation another aspect of the dual diagnosis is my inability to follow through on the self-care that i know that i need i know that i benefit from routine and order but in
the moment it's really hard to avoid just throwing myself into something different dopamine seeking and just looking for new and exciting things and then regretting my inability to stick to my plans when i'm feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed feeling determined that next time we'll be different and then repeating the cycle all over again like an endless cycle of knowing what i need but being completely incapable of meeting that need i also know that time with my interests really benefits me lego art or losing myself in a video game can really help me to feel relaxed and
calm and fulfilled but often i can't actually do the thing i end my working day with an hour to spend on my interests and i choose an activity then i think oh i'll just take a minute to check instagram or tick tock or i'll quickly message your friend before i know it i've wasted my free hour i'm feeling really overstimulated from the dopamine scroll or text exchange and i haven't done my interest which i know would have made me feel better and now i've run out of time so frustrating yet i do it nearly every
day side note i make different content on all of my socials so if you'd like to follow me on tik tok or instagram i am purple ella and coco adhd medication has had a remarkable impact on my life it's helped with focus emotional regulation and restlessness but i also feel as though it's made my autistic traits more prominent before medication my desire for stimulation and my impulsiveness kind of helped me to cope in a maladapted way despite the pain and rejection of social mistakes i was able to continue socializing because i kind of forgot about
the pain and the negative parts really quickly and just felt optimistic that this time was going to be great i felt more optimistic because i kind of just forgot about the negative stuff my distract ability kept me from focusing too much on my daily challenges life was still hard but i just kind of forgot does that make sense and my impulsiveness meant that i more easily threw myself into new situations and challenges without thinking about past experiences or the impact that they might have on my well-being i think the meds are still a positive thing
because pre-meds i largely ignored the things that led to me experiencing meltdown and burnout and i felt like i was on an endless cycle of optimism then action then meltdown then eventually burn out then rest then repeat now my life feels more balanced but i do kind of miss the joy of just not remembering my situation or my needs even if it did generally end in overload and fatigue i'm hopeful though that this is progress the ending the cycle and learning to accommodate my needs and to live a more balanced life will ultimately lead to
a life in which i feel more calm and i experience less overload less meltdown and just more stability i'm less than two years on from learning that i have adhd alongside my autism and learning how to live is an ongoing process especially since there isn't a lot of advice or guidance on how to live as an autistic adhd so if you're not already subscribed then please consider doing so and come with me on this journey of learning how to live this paradoxical existence and if you did like the video then please hit the like button
so that the youtube algorithm gods will know that you liked it and will push it out to more people thanks for watching today goodbye
