ramona j smith not good enough not good enough ramona j smith what do you do when after you've given your all is not good enough what happens when you've done your very best and your efforts still don't suffice you've been criticized analyzed scrutinized every minor detail about you or your performance has been picked apart now what mr contest chair fellow toastmasters and anyone who's ever felt like you were not good enough did you know that each and every time you use someone else's ruler to measure your success you'll never add up we often use other
people's rulers to measure our success in relationships at work or at school and in our family lives we want to please the people we're closest to our spouses our children co-workers and friends during those times when we measure up we feel satisfied elated and proud yet during those times when we don't quite measure up we feel down defeated depressed ultimately we want the people closest to us to believe in us but what happens when you've done everything you can and it still doesn't suffice well for starters how do we measure it what constitutes the exact
level of good enoughness that's a word google it how much is enough good to fit the bill i believe it's completely subjective for example i think i'm kind of cute i think i'm awesome i think i'm great but there was this guy not just any guy my dream guy ladies you have a dream guy he may not be sitting next to you but you have a dream guy fellas you have a dream girl his name for the sake of this speech i'll call him cliff that's actually his name but you don't know you don't know
cliff was my dream guy everything i ever wanted in a man clip was six eight 250 pounds had previously played ball in the nfl he had two master's degrees he was a successful realtor and the dean of students at a preparatory school not a bad catch ladies right but cliff thought i wasn't good enough for him why did cliff feel like i was lacking in the area of good enoughness that's a word google it later because when we met i was an undergrad i didn't even have a car and my only source of income was
from my work study job on campus however i had made the dean's list every semester i had studied abroad in africa and i had generated thousands of dollars in academic scholarships i didn't understand why cliff still had me this high on his ruler all i could think of was really really cliff you're going to walk away from all of this all of this can you think of a time when you didn't meet someone else's expectations how did it make you feel did you start to second guess or doubt yourself or where you should be in
life ladies and gentlemen each and every time you allow others to measure your value you'll never be enough you must not encapsulate your greatness because you have an unlimited supply it's because of who you are that certifies you it's not about what you have it's not about what you own it's those intangible things your gifts your talents your skills that make you worthy valuable and amazing you've always been enough once you know full well what makes you special and unique the opinions of others will no longer take away from yourself value once you embrace the
strength and beauty that lies within you what other people think of you is none of your business when your boss tells you he hated your presentation it was the worst thing he'd ever seen it was horrible you won't take it personal when your co-workers tell you that your new idea or policy isn't useful you won't feel inadequate when someone tells you you won't make a good spouse because you don't have a certain degree or make a certain amount of money you'll laugh at the fact that he or she is walking away from all of that
all of that good enoughness i'll close by asking again what happens when you've given your absolute best and it's still not good enough what i've learned in my life is that in a room filled with 1 000 people you'll have 1 000 different reputations therefore the only position persuasion perspective or opinion that matters is yours and yours alone i challenge you each and every one of you to start tapping in to your unlimited supply of greatness and the next time your co-workers your family your friends cliff tries to use their ruler to measure your success
you can break away from those expectations because you know that by just being exactly who you are you've always been more than good enough mr contest chair i didn't hit you with a ruler
