Hypotheticals: The Wagyu Program

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Alright, that- that's gonna be taken out of context for sure bam ba bam ba DUNUN *CLAP* (cue video) Hello guys! I am Domics. .

or Dom, I'm here joined by, uh. . two friends, I guess we'll start on my right.

* laughs * I think the icons are arranged differently per person. Uh. .

yeah, my name's Kressh, I'm a friend of Dom's, it's not "Kreeeeesh", for all you people that butchered my name in the last video. ** lip smack ** And, I'm Jomm, with a J ) :( ** more laughing ** Okay, sooo. .

when I was in Orlando last month, I went to a Japanese restaurant, and got to try A-5 Wagyu, the highest grade of Japanese beef, uh. . they gave this like certificate of authenticity because Wagyu quality is often scammed outside of Japan, whether or not that certificate itself is authentic, I couldn't tell you, I wouldn't know how to prove it.

My cattle was born in November 2015, and it was processed in May of 2018. So, it was nearly 3 years old. ** weird cough ** Um, In cattle- Haha, what?

Y-you ate a child, like, it was 3 years old. i t w a s g o o d. ** nervous laughing ** So, cattle live around, uhm 18 to 22 years old, so, 20 on average, meaning in human years, mine lived about 13 or 14 years old.

So, kind of a teenager. Is this where the FBI joke comes in? ** huHUHHUHUHh ** The overused FBI joke?

This- this hypothetical is gonna piss off alot of vegans. But despite that, they should know that, the cattle are treated very well in their upbringing up to the time they're proccessed, they're like massaged everyday. So they-they live that A-5 life.

Better than anything we'll have. Yeah, I know? ** laugh ** Which leads us to the hypothetical.

If you were offered, would you live a Wagyu life? Like, would you take on a life of grandeur in exchange for becoming a meal when you're like uhh. .

like 30? 30 so not 13. Yeah, yeah Yeah, that's what I meant like change.

Okay Okay, you can't really consent to that when you're born? You know, like let's say they offered a plan like the shorter you live the more grand I was gonna ask about that like that. So like the longer you wait the it's like less your paychecks come in Yeah, so this is assuming we live in a world where human meat is desired Demand for it.

So it's like is 20 like a five thirty like a three. What's the scaling? You become a twelve if you pick the one year plan Well, I can flat-out say I would not take the one year plan Uh, one year of posh livings One year and you get like infinite money to spend every day if we're Arguments do we get to live like on a farm or do we get to go out?

I don't know. No No, it's just you get to live whatever, okay? What if I'm boss movie like the Mafia?

Yes, it's like they just super luxurious Hang out with you on musk every day like that. That's you're a five-point I mean, he's cool, but I'm not gonna kill myself in a year to hang out with Elon. I'm sure You ain't shit.

Yes, suddenly Cannibalism became legal and we were given waivers to if we want to live posh lives for our meat. Yeah I mean, you know, we're we're an overpopulated planet. So oh that's true cannibalism might not be so good.

Don't quote me on that I don't know. What would you do down like would you take this well considering I'm turning 28 this year Like if I had the choices if I could maybe push it to 240 years old but live a less 3 million subscribers. Listen, I'm not really one to live a super grand life You know, like I I I'm a simple guy I animate my work in there play smash when I go home I don't know if I need the a 5 life to reach that so it's a no for me All right That's very that's like another layer.

That's kind of weird to think about is like how would you come out to your parents about that? I'ma become meat i'ma live that wagyu life yeah ever since I was young. All I wanted to do was was be Wagyu or Or maybe you wouldn't even have parents Maybe that's just like a standard in that kind of like Society is that your parents are all gone by like 40 or whatever it is they became wagged you and then you like I want to be like my parents when I grow up sure a delicious meal wait do you experience the pain of like, um Well, I could sense that you guys are leaning towards No, so let's say it is a very humane execution you do you want us to say yes I want to see you setting something up About the video anymore like you just want to know I want to see my friends get eat.

I Think in this society where like a Wagyu lifestyle is the norm I would assume a lot of my friends would be coming and going like hey, I'm Jim Like how old are you? I'm like, I'm 29. All right What plan do you have?

What do you subscribe to? so then I guess in that case maybe I would because it's like even if I live a long nice like normal not wagyu life if everyone else is living these like super nice life I might as Well, D like say you're a poor Man Wagoner is just like I don't want to be left behind This is a this is a Disney movie. I don't want to be a Wagyu I want to live Nonsense I want to grow.

old, yeah, I mean like because after 30, that's when your body starts giving up on you Right, we would save a lot on Trying to preserve our health and instead we just go ham for like 15 years You probably be really healthy too while you're doing it Like they would take care of you like yeah The the waggy life they have like meal plan for you every day and a workout plan personal trainer. Do you guys eat Wagyu Oh, The previous a Humans, wait, what if what if I cheat the system? What if I subscribe to the a5 lives and then right before I'm about to be processed?

I just like I make a break for it the'll Come get you they go They process you that's a Netflix original wait What if I get really sick like oh, yeah, they can't you can't be sick when your wagyu man they'll help you You can't they won't let you when you sneeze there. They're Good. This is this is actually like the untold theory behind attack on tightness.

We're all run away wag use take contracts Oh Yeah, that's another thing. I want to ask instead of signing up for the wagyu. Would you be?

Like if you were just a normal guys eating the Wagyu would you like consciously be okay Participating in this kind of meal. Oh, like if you're the demographic of the resetting end, yeah i dont give a fuck *lol* if its good yeah if its good So, you know people are like doing this why are you stuff and you know you're eating people and they're the ones funding all of it Oh, yeah, but they consented to it. Yeah, they're pink.

They may be what this was. Yeah It's Westworld, but it's wagyu world so do you think celebrities would cost even more as Wagyu I Mean if you're already celebrity, why do you need to go wag you you know, like you you already have lucky you're good Why are you here? Would you want other people to know you're on that wagon?

You planned? Yeah, I wouldn't be ashamed It's true If anything if anything, I would take my Wagyu I would sacrifice myself to spreads the Wagyu Like I feel like Jon you don't have to become a wagyu. I'll let you drive this f1 car Oh, shit But then don't you think the people running the company would have some kind of policy against that otherwise?

nobody I'd be going into this business and even then I'll just I'm threatening like what are you gonna threaten them we are already gonna eat you If you guys don't let me take him t-to drive the f1 car, I'll chop my arm off right now *everyone giggles* bet they wont let you ded What if I cross contaminate with an a4 for what that's another series right there spin on love story between an A4 and a5 that's Considered interracial if an a5 has a kid with an A1 does the kid become a3 there a a3 would it be weird if friends ate each other then um no. like would you be okay with that or would you want to be eaten by a stranger like if Like you provided me with this life. So yeah, you could eat me like i'd like that (idk what he said) you paid for this Yeah, you deserve it That's gross.

Dude. You're like standing next to your friend. You just look here a little bit.

Like I can't wait Would this be like? Monopolize or would this be like there'd be chains and stuff for this Oh like you could go to wendy's wagy you or like you? know like Mick wag you I realized the perfect plot twist to the Wagyu the Wagyu World Series Instead all the Wagyu like the head the head guys at Wagyu world are all cows But then what if everyone in the world just wants to do it like you can't have everyone do it I don't think anyone can just be a Wagyu like they don't take every cow They have to have a selection process for this right like raise your right leg from burger now you said you have to be qualified to stuff like you could still be wagyu, but you could probably be like C3 Wagyu grade.

All right boku. No hero Wagyu enough The main character has no main characters a d1. Yeah I'm a d1 wagyu and this is how I became the greatest wagyu yeah That's gross because he's like, he's like you got to eat my DNA HAHAHAHAH NOOO I think the moral of this episode is that quality is better than quantity You don't need a hundred bad friends Just one really good wagyu yeah, that's the moral if you have one really bad friend who is wagyu then you eat them he was a bad friend But would you want to eat like a dick like or not WHOA HAHAHA (demonitized) what the f- holy sh- Pertain to like I can't say you want to eat an asshole like that can't even be like a threat that's not even like you can't be like go eat a dick and then they'll be like, yeah if it's wagyu ill do it Yeah, I'm like wondering, uh, like what death row even be a thing anymore Would it just be like wagyu row but then you'd be giving like inmates really like better lives then no It's suck like this guy murder your family and now he gets to go wagyu like you but then you get you can eat them.

Yes What do you plead I plead Wagyu Is there is there vegan Wagyu Like vegan people the vegans Vegan Wagyu meat Thank you guys for joining us on this. Hi. I don't know.

I'm just gonna call it hypotheticals I'm too lazy to think of a unique name wagyutheticals Heiple Aggie cool super Laggy world episode one. I Really? Hope someone like comments and says, oh, yeah, that's that's a book I'm gonna read that so quick And it just so happens that today's sponsor is audible the leading provider of premium Audio books and other audio products head on over to audible.

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