someone once said culture is the water we swim in every day it is what we do when we decide unconsciously it is what we proceed to prioritize when we live on autopilot if I if I may ask you to do this please pause a moment and reflect on the culture that you think that we are living in here's what I see I see that we are a post pandemic worrying social media saturating identity self-defining worldview deconstructing and we are living in a postchristian culture in other words we are collectively wandering in a Wilderness so in
light of that reality how are we really doing with family discipleship there are two types of people that we often see in our churches the first type is program Pete he is someone that relies completely on Church programs to take care of discipl making in his household he represents a drop off culture he sends his kids Faithfully to every single church event in fact he attends himself at times he gives he honors especially during pastor's appreciation month but he does not get involved personally his Mantra would be leave it to the professionals now I serve
currently in an immigrant church so there are reasons such as language culture barriers and even the fact that we worship in segregation as Norm that brings about the aspects and the characteristics of program Pete but I imagine that you will find him everywhere in your churches so the results often times that he finds is that he is shocked that his kids are leaving their faith now the second type of person that we find in our churches is parochial Pat she's someone that makes the home first above all home happiness is primary and church commitment is
secondary she will do all things to prioritize and protect family above all things and her Mantra would be family is everything now in the best case scenario of this family every member participates actively in church life in the worst case scenario in this family the local church becomes an afterthought barely squeezed into a packed Family schedule of sports clubs and Vacations so often times the results that she will find is that she is sad to discover that the kids have no interest in or have any need personally for the local church now the purpose of
this talk is for us to all collectively step outside our established routines and to personally pay attention to your to the family discipleship practices that you believe in and that you practice we often strive and struggle with our heads down without noticing how the water we swim in has changed around us and is constantly shifting now here's what I'm not going to try to do I'm not going to teach you something new friendy or pragmatic in fact if anything the ideas that I'm going to talk about and that many of us will talk about today
stands on the shoulders of many faithful pastors parents and practitioners that loves the family that loves discipl making and that loves the church but here's what I am going to challenge you to do I want to invite you to think deeply about your personal and professional practices in the home in the church by doing the following number one State clearly the two contexts that God has ordained for discipl making number two highlight the biblical and practical partnership between the two then hopefully we're able in our hearts and also collectively have more clarity to respond to
the question of this first segment how can the whole church disciple young people and as a corollary why does the home need the church I hope to lay the framework in this open opening segment and frankly drop a bomb for Cameron and Clark to clean up after me but all that's to be said is that this is the time really for you to engage reflectively and personally on these things of the weightiest matter in the church and in your household let's begin with some definitions the family ministry Foundation is anchored in the Great Commission given
by Jesus which is his call for all of his disciples to make the disciples and so you find this throughout the gospels you find this even in Acts and it commends and it pushes a trajectory for every single Christian in faith in the power of the Holy Spirit to pursue in the home in the community in their local churches here are some definitions of discipl making that I want to offer to you from Bobby Harrington Pastor author and co-founder of discipleship.org these hopefully will help us to be on the same page when we're using these
common Christian words at times without always not seeing him in the same light a disciple he or she is someone who is following Jesus being changed by Jesus and is committed to the mission of Jesus which is to make disciples discipl making entering into relationships to help people trust and follow Jesus and it includes the whole process from sharing the gospel leading to faith in Christ which is evangelism and maturation in obedience to God and relationship to others which is one's discipleship and ultimately want to see multiplication locally and globally as the gospel Goes Forth
through discipl makers which is the third definition he or she is the disciple of Jesus who enters into relationships with people to help them trust and follow Jesus so among a variety of ways in which you could describe these definitions I want to summarize them with three qualities discipl making and people who do so they do so in a personal way they do so in a relational way way and they do it in an intentional way which means that it is so much more than just Proclamation through the air or is it just from reading
books and obtaining knowledge discipl making happens in the way that Jesus demonstrated when it's life to life intentional engaging and walking with each other now let's continue There are two primary spaces where disciple making takes place and they both need to be intentionally engaged and for the people in those spaces to be equipped as disciplemakers space number one is the home and the home represents the primary relationships that each of us have these are the people closest to us in our Earthly households and some of the roles that you'll find would be Dad Mom siblings
grandparents step adopted Foster all included in your household the home is the primary place because the roles and the people in your home are irreplaceable notice that doesn't mention whether you are a good dad or a bad dad a good mom or a bad mom the fact that you occupy a role means that you yourself is irreplaceable so that gives priority and attention to the people in this role the concept I want to present to you then of a home is like a squad I don't want to repeat it again but your home is like
your homies right these are your tightest knit group of people working together for a specific task or Mission and in which case it could be as simple as your children grow up to live and move out of the house but that's a mission isn't it and it's not anyone's greater responsibility than certainly the parents and the caregivers who are the primary disciplemakers here's the second space the church the church represents the body of Christ which is our tangible expression of Eternal identity and the roles that you'll find in the body of Christ which the Bible
refers to as members above many things these members who are a part of the body then contribute their gifts and Time treasure and talents for the common good and it is towards everyone's maturity in Christ personally and even corporately as a church every local church can grow towards maturity in Christ now the discipl making impact of this space is that it is essential because Christ is the head of the church and as long as his disciples worship and follow him their Eternal belonging expressed first in this Earthly life would be in a local church so
it is essential then for the church to have this role for which it was also given the Great Commission it is the Disciples of Jesus who are called to make disciples the church then could be portrayed as a team which is a group of individuals assembled for a common goal but even with this within this team you see that there's places for building blocks and families then who are following Christ would be squads who are blocks for this team let's see the relationship between the two the Bible portrays the two as being support of one
another in partnership with each other because they have a shared Mission as a squad and they have a shared Mission as a team to make disciples we are able to look in the same direction with the same Eternal hope and with the same Good gospel from both Vantage points because we want to be in the same place so the home it should be a place where it operates as a little church it resembles and reflects a place a household where Christ is King where he is worshiped and adored where the loving of God and a
loving of neighbor begins with those in proximity of you those you are raising those in your household and again the primary disciplemakers there are irreplaceable the role of the parents are to establish primary relationships and rhythms for the household that points to Jesus there's 168 hours in a week and overwhelmingly especially the younger your children are the more of those hours are directly attributed and and responsive to you and your Authority and so the home really is the people on the ground in discipl making and not the church primarily you find this in Deuteronomy 6
where Moses tells God's people to love God love one another and point the children towards Jesus in ordinary things things everyday life you find this in Ephesians 6 where in a New Testament in under a covenant we are told by Paul that these commands in Deuteronomy 6 are still intact but you are also called to demonstrate gospel love in seeking to build relationship with your children Colossians amplifies that in Colossians 3 by saying do not frustrate provoke exasperate your children that's the means by which you're able to instruct and discipline them so the focus here
for the home is to be a place where Christ is honored Above All Above everything now on the church side we're also given many metaphors to understand what it means to be part of a local church we know the church is not a building we know that the church is not a bunch of programs but do we actually believe that the church is the forever family that the church will live forever those who are in it the role of the local church is to make disciples of all Nations and they're able to do so we
are able to do so in local churches because we're fulfilling Jesus's promise of an abundant intergenerational family for everyone who has left Jesus or left everything to follow Jesus Jesus mentions here in response to a question in Mark 10 that those who have left everything for his sake and for the gospel They will receive now H hundredfold in this lifetime houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands with persecutions and the age to come eternal life the spiritual family the local church as an expression of the Eternal family is a gift that
every Christian should have and embrace so with that in mind let me modify the question a little bit from the beginning how can the church then in partnership with the home disciple young people I want to share a way forward for us to build a family discipleship Church culture in the local church so here's the definition to start with by Dr Timothy Paul Jones from Southern Seminary who is also a speaker at TGC this year he says this about family ministry that it is the process of coordinating a Church's practices so that all members develop
ver discipling relationships and so that parents are acknowledged equipped and held accountable as Primary disciplemakers in their children's lives so there's a bending of the home towards discipl making but then there's also a shaping of the church and developing that intergenerational spiritual family culture for which then families could enter in and participate not only willingly but intentionally and joyfully let's take the time to answer this question what can the church do that the family cannot do alone in other words why does the home need the church let's be as practical as we can and let's
look at the various people who are in a household well for children the presence and the support of the local church and its members helps to teach and role model the gospel El and how it changes lives and how it redeems Sinners and how the gospel transforms people's hearts from the inside out and changes them in ways that only the Holy Spirit can but not only that often times we get just nit nit pickings of what that looks like what the church provides that is beautiful and wonderful are people who have been obedience and following
Christ for a lifetime and so the Church offers this in a picture in a metaphor to children that goes so much farther than words when they can see that there are Saints who even as they've gone older and weaker and more frail that they're still following their lord Jesus for children the presence and the participation of the local church demonstrates the power of conviction and the truth of the Gospel now let's look at parents for parents the local church in its mission to equip the Saints for the work of ministry provides the opportunity and also
the creativity and also the resources to equip encourage and Empower parents for discipl making in fact it becomes a very significant priority for the local church if we are to Value making disciples period and so for parents the local church is a place in which camaraderie is instilled where they can see that they're not going through this journey together which as a parent I can tell you you always feel like you're the only one dealing with this problem or this complaint or this issue or this hardship and sometimes it's very hard to voice out even
to seek for prayer some of the hardships that you go through as a parent but in the local church in the forever family you can find camaraderie finally for families as a whole it is a place where intergenerational relationships are not just a tagline but it is embedded in the culture right when you walk in it is a place in which the family is able to be part of a grander and greater family instead of just about itself and its happiness so for families the local church provides community in Matthew 12: 49-50 Jesus said this
for whoever does the will of my Father in Heaven is my brother and sister and mother Jesus wasn't making this promise for later Jesus was telling those who were choosing to deny themselves and pick up their cross and follow him at that moment that you know what I have something for you you're not going to settle in this world even as you will go through persecution trials suffering and hardship you will have what is better because you will have me and you will have brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers aunties and uncles in Christ
who will walk with you and be with you in ways that your Earthly family may not be so the role of the church then is to be the forever family starting now on Earth and when we're able to see it that way it adds so much more depth even to sometimes the regular routines and sometimes the pains and sometimes the annoyances that we have of Simply going to church and participating in church and leading our kids in doing so I just want to show you this simple diagram this is not a prescription but this is
an example of how family ministry is done at my church which is an an immigrant Church consisting of three languages so again a lot of separations a lot of segregation and this is a work in progress by no means am I standing here saying we are successful that everyone believes this that everyone is doing this but we're trying to put our Biblical thinking caps on and to think how the church can work together with the family so on the church as family side we're trying to make sure that there are no spiritual orphans here easier
said than done but no spiritual orphans here and here are ways in which we are trying to grow this in growing maturity in the life of the church we aim to celebrate spiritual milestones and transitions it could be graduations it could be promotions it could be certain life Milestones though things that are important culturally as they are valuable we also aim to celebrate them and point the church towards Christ in them in membership which we encourage all Christians to join the church to take their place in this forever family in their commitment we aim to
provide next steps for them to find community in groups and to be able to use their gifts and serve on teams and then finally in building relationships for them that is reflective of participation in an intergenerational spiritual family we aim to build personal relationships in mentoring and corporate relationships in groups now what connects the two together is also a culture that we think reflects what the gospel calls us to we have a caring wall Ministry which then allows us to both push out but then also update policies and training for child protection and sexual abuse
reporting because this is what lets a family a spiritual family an intergenerational family that is open to the outside be safe as possible through counseling and biblical Counseling in particular we aim to teach and practice speaking the truth in love as a culture not as a formality not as a professional vocation for everyone to help people grow towards maturity in Christ in every day and finally with family as church with parents and grandparents number one we want to equip them by providing training and resources for them to be those primary discipl makers number two we
want to encourage them by mobilizing parents and inviting them to join us sometimes they think that truly it is those professionals that know better and we just have to tell them over and over again you are irreplaceable we cannot do what you are already doing and we shouldn't try but we should do everything alongside you to build you up into love on your kids as the church and then finally to Empower to push through some walls to kick through some doors for families to serve together these are ideas that I hope that you will consider
as well as you are forming what it looks like in your personal life and in your local church for the home and the church to work together here's the big idea of this segment we need a vibrant partnership between the home and the church to help our kids trust and follow Jesus he is our only true hope in this Wilderness thank you [Music]
