hey guys welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project I'm your host Kimberly and you can see that I've been filming this week and last week's video from the sunny sunny tip of the Baja I'm very lucky to be down here for some family time for Christmas so for those of you that are celebrating or just finished celebrating yesterday obviously a happy belated Merry Christmas so those you happy holiday we've got New Year's coming up here so it's my wish that you are spending time with someone that you love whether that is your children
your partner or your family and if you are single and dating and looking for that special somebody and you're definitely going to want to stay tuned because I'm going to be sharing with you five must know tips for dating in 2025 now this is in particular for men that are dating again after divorce a separation or coming back into the dating market after the end of a long-term relationship so things are just feeling really overwhelming and dating has changed now um before I dive in to share these five must no tips and some of them
are not things that you generally are going to hear from other coaches these are a little bit more nuanced tips that I really want you guys to think about when you are entering into the dating scene in 2025 now if you don't know I am a dating and relationship coach for men this is what I do full-time uh and so if you are looking for support especially coming into the new year uh to date you're not really sure how to you know navigate online dating apps you know the way we are communicating now between men
and women has changed so drastically if you're feeling a little unsure on how to navigate some of your conversations or you honestly are just not attracting the right types of partner into your life or you're literally just going I don't even know where to start um then I'd be more than happy to support you at least have an initial conversation with you to see if we're a good fit and if coaching is the right modality to get you to where you want to be which hopefully is in a loving deeply you know physical emotionally connected
relationship with a woman of your dream that is my hope and my mission for everybody out there is to have deeply loving and healthy relationship ship now obviously navigating the dating World post divorce or after a long-term relationship is not just about getting back out there it's actually a lot about reshaping your mindset and how you approach dating how you approach women today and how you even think about yourself so what I want to share with you are five kind of thought-provoking slightly nuanced tips to help you reenter the dating scene with a lot of
confidence and clarity now the first thing you guys absolutely need to know if you're going to be dating in 2025 is how can you understand the role of AI in dating this matters because dating apps are evolving they're constantly changing the dating app platforms are becoming smarter and they're going to begin using AI to suggest matches for you um hopefully right it's the dating apps intention to improve compatibility and improve matching although a lot of people are pretty dissatisfied for how from how how those algorithms are currently working and here's the truth dating apps are
even going to you know Autos suggest what you can say to people they're going to be helping you along the conversational path when you match with somebody online and to be honest while this technology can feel helpful at times it's also really important to ensure that it's not going to replace your authenticity or that you no longer think about what you want or need or desire how to have a conversation and now you're starting to rely on an AI robot to do the conversing for you it might be tempting if you're a little out of
practice but honestly what are you going to be feeling when you actually get on a first date with somebody and realize that you just had a back and forth conversation with your AI app and maybe her AI app right it's just going to feel so inauthentic it's going to feel so yucky at least that's how I feel I don't know maybe you'd be happy about it but I really think we need to be mindful of the role of AI in dating because truth be told it can help you create what feels like a polished conversation
or it can give you ideas for conversation starters but we know that real connection comes from vulnerability and it comes from effort and it comes from you knowing yourself so guys if you begin to rely too much on AI generated suggestions or you are using it as a tool to um you know just get you out of tough situations and you're starting to lose your own critical thinking skills I don't know if this is going to serve you very well it might give you some quick wins in the beginning but when it comes actually maintaining
and forming a deep loving relationship you need to be able to have strong conversation you need to be able to keep a woman's attention on your dates um I don't know at what point in our future we're going to be having you know a little earpiece where you know that's going to do all the thinking and talking for you but it would be a sad day when that day actually comes around so guys I really want you to think about how you are dating what role is I playing in that and we know whether you're
using it to kind of help you out a little bit or you're starting to rely on it too much that it's taking uh taking place of your authenticity and your vulnerability so for example you know dating app prompts are not going to be tailor to you and your unique journey through life so sometimes it's going to suggest things for you that feel good such as you see uh a woman's profile and she you know she enjoys hiking right so the you know dating app AI is going to give you an idea of saying something along
the lines of hey I noticed that you love hiking what's your favorite Trail now sure you could say that's pretty generic but does that sound like you is that something that you would say and can you learn to take it further than what an AI prompt is going to tell you and you know give it a little more context and say like hey I'm really curious I see that you were into hiking well so do I you know what I like prefer Mountain Trails you know uh especially ones that have like little Hidden Lakes at
the the end this is something that's very common in Vancouver which is where I'm getting this idea from so I want you guys to think about how you can potentially be using AI to help you get started but make sure you're not using it as a replacement for who you are um and that your actual personality is shining through otherwise what's going to happen is conversation might be great on a dating app or might feel great on a dating app and that is just not going to translate into real life now the last thing you
want to find out is that you put a lot of time and effort into building a connection with a woman for example who then shows up on the date and is drastically different than the woman you were talking to online because she was lazy and used AI to have a conversation with you no guys where this world is going with artificial intelligence but please figure out how to use it in a way that feels morally prudent for you right that's all I'm saying here now secondly I want you guys to be thinking about all right
if you're dating in 2025 then you probably need to understand and figure out what your dating triggers are now what I mean by this is if you get really frustrated okay as a man you're on there putting a lot of time and effort into building conversations with women or to create a great profile and and and then you have a really authentic response to one of her dating app prompts and she says nothing to you you feel like you've been ghosted or the conversation has a bit of a volley back and forth and then it
absolutely dries up right does that trigger you okay I want you to be aware of what your emotional triggers are so does ghosting make you feel really frustrated and upset or does receiving short responses from women really trigger you because you think you know this woman's putting zero effort into this conversation and dating is so frustrating and so hard and you start to find yourself getting angry or elevated levels of cortisol right or how about if you have really mismatched communication Styles or you're talking to a woman you just can't seem to actually get to
the date CU you always has a reason why she can't meet you what are the things particularly for you that trigger you or create a really viseral emotional response okay so this is going to bring up feelings of rejection for you or insecurity for you or frustrations that are likely tied to past relationships not not an all cases but sometimes our emotional triggers are really tied to our past relationship experiences now for example if a woman doesn't resp respond to your text for hours right instead of spiraling into worry and frustration I really want you
to learn how to reframe things especially in 2025 I mean dating is not getting less complicated it is getting more complicated but doesn't mean that we want to give up and not search for our special somebody in this crazy world right so you want to understand that if something like a delayed response you know makes you spiral into worry I want you to learn how you can reframe this and start telling yourself that you know their response time is reflecting who they are and their Pace not my Worth right so I want to focus on
something that I enjoy until they reply because there are a lot of guys out there women included that kind of nervously and anxiously wait for a response thinking that a quick response means they're interested and engaged and a slow response just has to mean something else right it's very cognitive bias uh cognitive distortions very black and white type of thinking and that's not going to do you any favors when it comes to dating so what I want you to do instead is start to track some of your emotional responses when you're out there dating now
if you feel frustration you feel anxiety especially during dating online conversations really want you to pause and ask yourself you know am I actually really reacting to this person or am I reacting to my past or a set of beliefs that I have about dating now if you actually want to take this even further to gain a lot of emotional awareness which is such an important skill that we all need especially in dating with all the frustrations right you can take it further by writing these things down um and this is also going to give
you Insight men into some of the patterns you might have with women in dating once you can really accurately understand what you're your triggers are especially with women especially with dating out especially with dating you can begin to approach dating a lot more objectively you're going to like remove yourself from some of the sharp poignant emotions that can take place um and that is just going to help you move through dating and move through these experiences with a lot more calm a lot more resilience and maybe you can even begin having fun when you're out
there dating because that is what we should be experiencing it really should be something that enjoyable and a privilege to get to know so many different people potentially you know at the tip of your fingers right so you know if you're not having fun at all dating and you're finding that you know each thing that a woman does is triggering you um you may need to take a break you may need to step away you may need to understand your emotional reactions um because bringing that energy into dating won't do you any favors and it's
not going to attract the right type of woman into your life now third piece of advice third tip I want you to take into 2025 guys I want you to date outside what you think your usual type is on purpose okay so our type this whole idea of the type can often be rooted in Old patterns that probably just didn't serve you well in your previous relationship which is usually why we end up single and we we say to ourselves why do I keep having the same relationship experiences over and over again at least I
told myself that or asked myself that question and I know many people do and that's because what we believe our type to be can be actually rooted in these old patterns that don't really serve us now if you start to date women that have different interests or different communication Styles it can actually help you break some of these subconscious cycles that you have now I really want you to think about how can you choose um you know a woman or choose one particular quality that you normally uh gravitate towards right maybe that's a sense of
humor maybe it's physical appearance right maybe it's a certain level of Career Success that you look for and deliberately date women who do not embody that little bit of a thought experiment for you right for instance if you have always gravitated towards dating extroverted women right because you're a little more introverted and a little more calm a little more chill right and you always gravitate to a woman who's like very boisterous and you know very kind of sometimes even loud in certain social situations I want you to consider maybe slightly Shyer more introverted women this
is going to okay why right what's the point of this right this is going to force you to see the connection with this woman beyond what you believe is superficial compatibility which is actually what happened when I found my current Partners I started to break away from what I thought my type was I had a very idealized vision of what my physical body physical attraction was to a particular person and even what their profession was and that's what I was T typically was attracted to and then I started to date outside of what I thought
my type was and that's where I found my truest connection because I was able to focus on the connection that I had with this person not this list of things that I thought was going to make me happy in fact it didn't make me happy right happiness came from me understanding who I was and then dating someone and focusing on the beautiful connection that we had and turns out that person is radically good-looking to me and everything like that so I want you guys to really think about how can you date outside what you believe
your usual type is man I know so many of you are particularly looking for women that are really into physical fitness that really look after their bodies and I'm not saying you know you're going to go total opposite of that but you might have this picture in your mind like one of my former clients I don't know if you're picking up that noise but there's a truck driving by a water truck uh of all things in Mexico now one of my clients really wanted to date a woman who is particularly Adept at skiing because he
loved skiing and his list of what he was looking for was so particular that he was having trouble connecting with any woman at all and that's because he believed his type to be almost a carbon copy of himself and so he wasn't finding that but when we started to broaden The Horizon of the characteristics that he'd be looking for and actually sometimes even look for women that maybe weren't Adept at skiing but were open-minded he then started finding that he was connecting with more women and really enjoying that experience because he wasn't pigeon huling himself
into what he believed his perceived type was guys this really matters this keeps people so stuck when it comes to dating because we disregard people that could be amazing fit for us because we think that our perfect partner exists in this particular definition that we created in our minds right so um the fourth thing I want you guys to think about and really understand that when it comes to dating in 2025 this is going to be part and partial of almost everybody's dating experience is to just get comfortable with playful rejection right rejection sucks nobody
wants it we don't sign up to go date so that we can get rejected but it's an inevitable part of modern dating especially when we have ACC access to meeting people the way that we do today so I want you to think about how you can shift uh your view of rejection because this is going to help you stay open and stay resilient when you inevitably face that and most of you will right so what I want you to think about doing is view rejection as a playful interaction rather than a personal attack now this
is harder for some people to do than others depending on what your life experience has been you know what your experience with rejection has been up until this point but I want you to think about it as a playful interaction rather than some personal attack towards you when someone doesn't reciprocate your interest right I want you to reframe it with humor well not everyone has great taste right right if if I was dating again and there was a man that I met on a dating app and he was like actually you know what I don't
want to go out with you well either I could just sit there feeling really but hurt about it or I could be like dude his lost this is the great package over here and just move on to another person that is going to reflect how I feel about myself which is that I am a great catch and that's how I want you guys to think about it because not everybody is going to be right for you and you're not going to be right for everybody so the lighter that you can be about rejection the easier
it becomes to just spring forward with confidence and to have fun with dating right you want to have fun with dating so the truth is I have a lot of clients that you know they meet women they think you know things are going really well and then then they realize you know what the conversation isn't that exciting and you know what we're not as compatible as I thought we were when I first saw her profile picture and so they're actually getting used to doing it that the rejecting themselves and the reality is you know you're
not going to be right for everybody and everyone's not going to be right for you so if you know that you own it you can reflect a bit of that rejection with positivity and playfulness then you quickly move on from people that are not the right match for you and you can focus your time and energy on someone on who is now the last thing I want to share with you guys as you get into 2025 and date is to now this is especially for men that are dating again after a divorce separation long-term relationship
has ended right guys I want you to think about micro commitments and not big promises okay this matters because the Temptation especially for men that have been in relationships for a long time the Temptation is to get back to what felt comfort which isn't always where you want to be now if you were married to somebody for 20 years there's a lot of comfort in being with someone in living with somebody so it's very tempting to meet a woman you think okay she's got some great qualities I'm just going to you know propose to her
I'm going to get married a second time or I'm going to ask her to move in with me or I'm going to move my whole life to be where she is living because she's a stayed away from me well guys jumping too quickly into a serious relationship especially after divorce probably lead you to repeat past mistakes and Overlook red flags now I have other videos where I talk about red flags I have a lot of videos where I talk about breaking patterns and you know repeating past mistakes guys just make some micro commitments you like
a woman make a micro commitment you want to see her more make a micro commitment you want to spend time with her you want to go on a holiday make a micro commitment you don't need to make big promises because you know what divorce rates pretty high for the first divorce they're even higher for the second one why because people Rush right into what they have before and realize I actually don't really know what I want and I don't really know how to fix some of the errors of my prior relationship and oh this woman
just F felt so different I just thought you know what this Grand gesture and romance feels so amazing but in reality you just want to focus on micro commitments not big promises not big grand gestures all the time so instead of focusing on finding the one can we please start thinking in smaller terms okay commitment commitment or committing to one engaging conversation one fun date one great shared experience at a time is so much nicer it means you can really relax and focus on the present moment and the connection that is truly forming between you
and this woman versus already like trying to picture your whole lives together that's a lot that's a lot of pressure this whole the one I need to find my soulmate is kind of an outdated notion because firstly there so much pressure and who the heck is the one what the heck is a soulmate I mean honestly I don't know because I feel like I've had a lot of different soul mates in my lifetime and maybe you are going to be lucky and you can have a lot of different soul mates in your lifetime I mean
there's a lot of women out there that you in particular could be compatible with not just one woman in a planet of 8 billion people right that seems like pretty low chance of actually finding the one so instead want you to commit to just one conversation one fun date one fun share experience and this is going to prevent you from rushing into something just to fill a void a loneliness void right a quiet echoing in your house void right you're not just going to commit to somebody because you're lonely that is not the right motivation
to you welcome someone into your life so again this will take the pressure off uh early connections and you can just focus on getting to know somebody one conversation one date one shared experience at a time versus thinking is this the one right you don't know right you just don't know enough to be certain about somebody when you've only just met them and gone on a few dates so don't create and plan an entire life around someone you hardly even know so guys for example suggest a coffee a short activity see what the initial chemistry
is like then dive into dinner then into weekend plans then a weekend away then friends and family and all those things right one experience at a time will serve you well in 2025 so guys re-entering the dating world is not just about adapting to Modern dating Trends it's really about learning to redefine yourself in a way that is going to serve your growth so I want you to embrace the process this is an opportunity to evolve into a better version of yourself not just to find someone as quickly as possible now dating after divorce is
honestly a chance to meet um not only a few new people but new versions of yourself as well so I want you to think about how are you going to interact with you know AI um you know how do you want to be using this I know are you relying on it too much H how you know how do you see yourself when you're dating and what triggers you understand what's going on there make sure you're not just you know creating a small list of who you think you're compatible with and in fact exploring and
dating sometimes outside what you think your type is on purpose so you can focus on a connection right I can't do this with my hands get comfortable with playful rejection because you're going to face some of it and that's okay it's part and parcel of the process um and honestly guys just little tiny micro commitments no huge grand gestures or big promises that get you into a wave of highs and lows of emotion okay these are some of my best thought-provoking ideas and advice and tips for you as we round this corner into 2025 there's
a lot to contend with here but I want you guys to have great dating experiences to feel so good about yourself in the process to really never stop learning about yourself and I don't care if you're 40 50 60 in your 70s even older listening to my content you can continue to grow you can continue to learn about yourself this is a job that is never done so take dating as an opportunity to learn about some great women and also learn about yourself in the process now if you are interested in working with myself I
will be taking applications for 2025 so um 2025 January tends to explode with people wanting to set new intentions and get themselves set up for Success especially with dating and self-growth so if you are interested you resonate with me resonate with my content uh please welcome I welcome you to book a complimentary call with me see if we are the right fit to work together if not I can point you in some great directions maybe leave you with some great value at after our initial call anyway so thank you very much Happy New Year to
everybody uh please leave your comments below and what you thought of this video and look forward to bringing you another one um shortly in the New Year okay
