If there's one thing I've learned in this life, it's that boldness is the solution to all the social problems you have. Whether it's with girls, friends, or work. The moment you acquire the skill of boldness, your entire life will change.
And in this video, I'm going to teach you how to reach the highest level of boldness that any human can reach on this planet. And I must tell you first that I'm not here to teach you how to be bold just so you can introduce yourself to a group of people or talk to a girl you like. I'm here to teach you how to develop a crazy amount of boldness.
The kind of boldness that makes you walk down the street, see a girl you barely know and have only spoken to once, stand in front of her and say, "Seriously, I'm breaking up with you. " Then walk away and leave her standing there shocked. Or to be in a movie theater, stand up, start yelling, and act like a homeless man just to laugh.
If that kind of boldness seems hard to you or like something you shouldn't have, I promise you that by the end of this video, your perspective on it will completely change. So, welcome to the social skills series. And let me first explain to you why boldness.
If we go back in time to an era when societies were made up of tribes, the bold man was the strongest man. If there was a strong man, he was simply capable of doing anything he wanted and saying anything he wanted without fearing anything. In other words, he was bold.
This mindset, despite thousands of years passing, still exists within us to this day. If there is a group of people sitting together and one of them does something bold, everyone around him instinctively feels that he is the strongest person in that group. And here I want to pause and give you a golden rule I want you to remember for the rest of your life.
The way you act is the way people see you. When you act in a bold way, you present yourself as if you're the strongest person in the group, as if you're the leader of that group. And when people see you behaving like that, they naturally begin treating you the same way.
If you want people to trust your decision, all you have to do is you trust that decision first. This is human nature. And that's why, my dear friend, when you finish this video and acquire with me the skill of boldness, your entire life will change.
So now that you understand with me that boldness is something important, and it's literally a cheat code for social power. I'm going to explain to you how to become bold. And here I need to explain to you what boldness really is from a psychological and deep perspective.
Simply put, a bold action is one that when you do it, the result will either be a reward or a punishment. If you like a girl and go approach her, there are two possible outcomes. Either you get a reward, her number, or she rejects you.
And the punishment will be embarrassment. And I want you to focus on this word, embarrassment, because we'll come back to it later. So to become someone who takes bold actions, this element of punishment must disappear.
And you can achieve that by letting me rewire your brain so that this punishment no longer appears to you and no longer affects you. Once you reach that point, it means you'll have a crazy level of confidence and power and you'll become able to do and say anything you want without caring what anyone around you thinks. So, let's go back to our rule.
The bold action has two possible outcomes: reward or punishment. Let's start with punishment. And since we're now in the social skills series, it makes sense that our goal is to apply boldness in social life.
So, what is the punishment in social life? Of course, it's embarrassment. So, let me explain to you what this embarrassment actually is and how you can overcome it.
Now, when you're in a social situation, like going out on a date, for example, people around you place you inside a certain frame. That frame is what they expect you to do. Eat, laugh, reply to a message on your phone.
But it's impossible for them to expect you to suddenly stand up and start singing or doing push-ups or dancing. The problem that happens here is that the frame others put you in, you also put yourself in it. So, when your brain sees you trying to do something outside of that frame, it tries its best to stop you to avoid embarrassment.
And of course, your brain thinks it's doing this for your own good because ever since you were a child, you've been conditioned to believe that embarrassment is something you must escape and that you should care about what people think. What I want to explain to you now is this. Embarrassment and people have nothing to do with each other.
For example, let's say you walk up to a girl and she rejects you. Your brain sends a signal to your kidneys to release adrenaline and cortisol. And these two hormones are what make you feel embarrassed.
But if I came to you and directly injected those two hormones into your bloodstream, you would feel the exact same stress and embarrassment without being rejected or even seen by anyone. Meaning, people aren't the cause of embarrassment. You don't have a problem with people.
You have a problem with chemistry. If you were sitting with a group of little kids, could any of them make you feel negatively or embarrassed? Of course not, because simply they hold no value in your life.
That conclusion I want you to remember because we'll come back to it later. But for now, I'll answer one of the most common questions I've seen in the comments ever since I started this social skills series. It has to do with embarrassment.
Why do you feel embarrassed when doing something while someone else can do the exact same thing and not feel embarrassed? So, listen to me carefully now. First, you need to understand people don't care about what you're doing.
You need to truly grasp this. Look, there isn't a single person on this planet to whom you are so important that they're observing your every move and trying to analyze it to figure out how they should react. I know that may sound complicated, but don't worry, it's actually simple.
Imagine with me, two guys walking and they both slip and fall. The first one falls, gets embarrassed, and says to himself, "I wish the ground would just swallow me. " The second guy stands up and starts laughing at himself.
In the first scenario, people around him will likely start laughing at him, and he'll feel even more embarrassed, and that event will become a painful memory he'll remember later and regret. Meanwhile, the second guy laughs and everyone around him starts laughing with him and the moment becomes a fun positive memory. So, what happened here?
These two people experienced the exact same thing but with different outcomes. And the reason goes back to one of the most important psychological principles in human nature. People's reactions are a reflection of your reaction to the event, not to the event itself.
Meaning, if you're walking and fall, people aren't reacting to your fall itself. They're reacting to your reaction to the fall. If you fall and start laughing, they'll laugh with you.
But if you fall, turn red and feel ashamed. They'll laugh at you. And if you fall and start crying or showing signs of pain, then they'll show sympathy.
So what I want you to take from all of this is when you do a bold action, people's reactions have nothing to do with what you did, but everything to do with how you reacted to what you did. If you do something and make it clear you're doing it for fun and enjoyment, people will laugh with you, enjoy it, and see you as a strong and clever person. If you do it and show fear, that's when people will see you as weird or cringe-worthy, and that's when you'll feel embarrassed.
So, the way to get rid of punishment and guarantee a reward every time is to learn how to control the energy or aura around you when doing a bold action. And you might ask me now, how do I do that? Don't worry, I'll explain everything in detail.
Now, when you do a bold action or something outside the frame people have placed you in, many emotions might arise inside you. To make it simple, we'll divide these emotions into two types, negative and positive. This emotion will influence how you behave, whether in your body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.
Those behaviors are your reaction. When people see those behaviors, they subconsciously recognize whether you're feeling a positive or negative emotion and accordingly they respond. They'll either see you as a weak person and laugh at you or see you as a bold and powerful person and admire you.
What you need to do is change that reaction. The problem is it's very hard to change that reaction. But there's a simple way to change the feeling inside you.
Because once you change that internal feeling into a positive one, your behaviors and reactions will automatically shift and the people around you will respond positively. And that's what will make you always receive the reward instead of the punishment. And the way to change your internal emotion is to change your body language.
If you've been following me, you already know that body language is connected to our emotions. If you just raise your head and smile, you'll feel something good. And by the way, this is something you should always do.
If for example you're sitting in class and a teacher says something embarrassing to you, try to smile. Force yourself to smile. Even if you feel shy or nervous.
This way you automatically stop feeling embarrassed. Anyway, when you want to take a bold action or in any moment you feel embarrassment, force yourself to adopt positive body language. Forget everything happening around you and focus only on opening your chest, smiling.
The important thing is to stay focused only on your body language and the emotion inside you will start to shift and rise without you even noticing. When you do that without even realizing it, you've overcome something called embarrassment. You've defeated something called punishment.
But the movie doesn't end here. You still need to take the bold action itself. Which means up to now, you've only learned how to remove the punishment.
But you still haven't learned how to become a bold person. Before I explain to you the mindset you need to have in this life to become a bold person, let me first explain the reward. Now, when you're in a social situation, let's say you went on a date with a girl, what does your subconscious mind tell you?
You say to yourself that the way to impress her is by acting in a way that fits the frame she has placed you in. You need to be respectful, well-dressed, you need to flirt, and at the same time, you must not say or do anything outside of that frame. Meaning, when you want to impress her, you automatically start caring about what she thinks of you.
But in reality, she will be impressed by you when you don't care about what she thinks of you. And this is the paradox we live in. People become attracted to you when you don't care what they think about you.
You must understand this. And at the same time, when you're a bold person, you constantly put yourself in situations filled with tension and pressure. Imagine with me two people who went on a date.
The first one met the girl. They went to a restaurant, sat down, talked, then parted ways, and each went home without anything out of the ordinary happening. This person may have given her a good impression, but that girl will still consider him just someone she went on a date with, nothing more.
He will leave a light and pleasant impression. But imagine another person who went out with a girl and when they were leaving the restaurant, he slipped and fell. And when he fell, he got up and started laughing.
And the girl also started laughing. In that moment, the girl's subconscious didn't just see someone who fell in front of her. No, she saw someone who is at peace with himself.
Someone who doesn't care and is strong, someone who knows how to act under pressure. And if you've been following me, you'll know that the way we humans judge someone's nature is by observing how they act under pressure. That moment when he fell and started laughing will leave a very strong impression on that girl, and she'll feel his strength more than anything else he did during the entire date.
A bold action is a tool that will always put you under pressure. And since you've watched this video, you now know how to act under that pressure. And as a result, you'll make people attracted to you even more.
And these two things are what make up the reward. Now that you know the components of a bold action, let's talk about the mindset you need to become a bold person. This mentality that I'm going to explain to you may seem a bit extreme, but it's worth having because it will place you at the highest levels of power once you apply it.
The skill you'll need here is one of the most powerful things that changed my life. And I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart. This skill is to start seeing people as if they're non-playable characters, NPCs.
How so? From the moment you step out of your house, you're literally walking past thousands of humans every week on the street, at the gym, in cafes, in taxis, anywhere. And none of them actually care.
You think people are watching you, judging you, overanalyzing your every move? They're not. They're stuck in their own heads, drowning in their own insecurities, worrying about dumb like if their shirt looks weird or if someone saw their pimple.
That girl you walked past, she didn't notice you looked awkward. She's too busy thinking she looks awkward. And once you finally realize that most people are walking around like background noise, like NPCs just looping in their own selfobsession.
You stop playing scared. You stop holding back. Because if they're just NPCs, why the would you fear their opinion?
This is the switch, the mental cheat code. The second you stop acting like life is some kind of audition and start treating it like your movie, you do without needing a reason. You walk into a room and your energy says, "I don't need you to like me.
I already chose to like myself. " And that's when they start liking you because you're no longer chasing respect. You're demanding it silently without saying a word just by the way you move.
And most people, they'll never get to this level. They'll live and die in their heads scared of ghosts that were never real. But you, you know, now they were all just NPCs.
And let me end the video with something important you really need to hear. You don't become bold by sitting around trying to feel ready. You become bold by choosing the uncomfortable move every single time until your brain adapts.
You speak when your voice shakes. You make eye contact when your instinct is to look away. You say what you really mean, even if your heart's racing.
And every time you do that, you're sending a message to your subconscious. This is who the I am now. Not the overthinking kid.
Not the one who waits for permission. Not the one who's scared of awkwardness or rejection or being too much. You kill that version one bold move at a time.
And here's the part most people will never understand. Boldness isn't something you use. It's something you become.
It's a new operating system. One where pressure doesn't scare you. It excites you.
Where people don't control how you feel, you do. Because when you finally stop trying to avoid fear and you start choosing it instead, you become dangerous and the world feels it. And if you're still watching up to this point, I just want to say I love you.
This was the Dark Needle and I'll see you in the next video.
