a great guest and he would get on and no matter what I asked him he would answer yes and in a very sincere and thoughtout way I'd say "Uh Donald uh," and I always I'd say "Mr trump um tell me who are the great beauties if I ask you some names can you tell me who the great beauties are?" He goes "First of all straight face." The great beauties Howard Howard Stern just unearthed vintage Trump tapes and Melania she's gone full Chernobyl mara Lago is now basically the DMZ divorce militarized zone trump's creepy blasts from
the past were so bad even Stern's staff gagged and they work in radio melania packed up relocated to a different wing and reportedly installed a Cheeto approaching alarm system that's not just marriage trouble that's a military operation against your own husband grab your popcorn folks because America's messiest soap opera just launched a new season how I would handle it tell me if I'm nuts we go i am nuts but tell me if this is accurate i would stand there on stage with Trump and I would repeat over and over again "Excuse me please find me
11,000 votes so that I can win the election." I would just repeat that over and over again and then I'd say to the audience "What are we debating?" A man picked up the phone and wanted to say "Fake the election give me 11,000 votes." I don't know how any American who loves this country I I that's the end of the debate you don't get to run if you Howard Stern the king of ranch radio just did what an army of legal cases indictments and indictments indictments couldn't he cracked open the Pandora's box that is Donald
and Melania Trump's marriage and what spilled out wasn't hope it wasn't changing it was something far worse donald's greatest hits dug up from the sticky questionably lit vault of early 2000's shock jock radio and they are every bit as horrifying as you'd expect the opposite of woke to me is asleep and I think I'm awake this must have gotten Trump all charged up because at 3:00 in the morning on a Saturday technically Sunday morning he starts uh tweeting out um Howard Stern is a broken loser jerkoff not loyal you know the usual you know tirade
and I thought to myself my I'll tell you my thought on it was what my thought was what imagine you got to be the 45th president of the United States and you're sitting and writing about Howard Stern [Music] and just when you thought the drama couldn't escalate beyond marital missile strikes and personalized Trump detection alarms here comes the nuclear payload the tapes oh yes the tapes howard Stern in his eternal role as America's chaotic archavist dropped a vault cracking blast from the past so radioactive it could power a small city or at least melt down
the first lady's patience she's just overall terrific i think most important let me ask you this with all due respect but is he going to get married i mean is he she going to be the perennial fiance he's going to get married no when when are you getting married well sometime early next year probably you set a date no we haven't set a date are you playing her or are you really going to marry her no I'm I'm really I don't have the courage to play her these aren't your run-of-the-mill gaffs these are full-blown industrial-grade
Trumpisms straight from the golden era of overconfident billionaires who believed microphones were just tiny friendly robots that kept secrets spoiler they weren't stern unearthed previously unaired or suddenly very relevant again Trump interviews and let's just say if words could trigger a divorce clause these would be the Declaration of Independence for single women everywhere work in the um you know uh anyone who works in the entertainment industry really i've only seen sixes and sevens so you know I'd say well Donald I think Angelina Jolie is a great beauty seven really why well come on he goes
he goes you know who's a great beauty i go who he goes my daughter Ivanka now she's a 10 and so we'd have these discussions oh my and of course with the internet now all these tapes are out there if you're enjoying please subscribe the content predictably horrific trump can be heard making crude comments about women with the finesse of a drunk uncle describing his dream date at Thanksgiving dinner but wait it gets better or worse depending on how much your soul can endure he talks about Melania yes his wife as if she's a showroom
model at a vaguely Eastern European auto expo he once visited and he doesn't do this once no because restraint is for people with impulse control he does it often repeatedly casually like someone who still hasn't figured out that public radio is public i have to talk about Donald Trump he's a big character in the book because he's a big character on my show well that's what I was going to say you say one of your best guests ever donald Trump hands down whenever you put him on the air now this is before he was running
for president he was an open book he would say anything and you know oddly enough during the campaign and even now people quote these interviews that I did with him big time i was quite surprised when they dragged out every single Donald Trump interview I had done and in some ways I felt it was unfair to There's one particular segment where Trump rants about how important a woman's appearance is which you know is super comforting coming from a man who resembles a melted creamsicle left in a tanning bed another tape features him talking about how
he wouldn't date women who didn't meet certain standards which is rich considering the bar he's clearing is somewhere beneath the earth's crust even Howard Stern seemed momentarily stunned why does this matter because this isn't locker room talk this is your husband's been giving press tours of your dignity talk this is oh that's why she won't hold his hand in public talk donald Trump would come on my show and uh and this is why he was great there was no filter i go Donald Angelina Jolie she's one of the most beautiful actresses in the world ah
she's a six he was right into it ivanka Trump you know who's one of the great beauties of the world according to everybody and I helped create her who ivanka most beautiful girl in the world you know I would I would marry her these types of things most people certainly politicians don't say and my relationship with Donald was he did ask me to The tapes don't reveal a jokester caught in a moment they reveal a pattern a worldview a man so obsessed with dominance he thinks describing his wife like a piece of property is endearing
to him it probably was but to Melania it was probably the sound of the last ounce of patience snapping in half and to the rest of us it's the prequel to the mess we're watching unfold now stern didn't just release tapes he pulled the curtain back on the world's most awkward goldplated marriage a drift in a sea of passive aggressive silence and fake smiles we're talking about tapes that are so cringe-inducing that they made even Stern's veteran producers folks who've heard Beetlejuice explain the theory of relativity visibly recoil trump in all his sweaty pre-spray tan
glory delivering a masterclass in how not to talk about women or marriage or really anything that involves another human being with a soul these unearthed relics of verbal diarrhea feature your favorite orange reality star musing about women with the tenderness of a used car salesman trying to upsell a broken transmission there were comments about Melania yes while married there were remarks about other women also yes while married and you got to be the 45th president of the United States and you're sitting and writing about it and there was an overall vibe of I'm a billionaire
therefore I am entitled to say whatever nonsense my mouth can't stop producing cue the sound of Slovenia going into Defcon 1 melania Milani our marble statue in Lubbouton Hills who has perfected the art of scowlling in four languages did not take this well not even close according to sources that may or may not have run screaming from Mara Lago clutching goldplated furniture the first lady of eternal resentment immediately went nuclear and not just in a I'm not talking to you for a week way no this was the kind of cold fury that makes Siberian winters
seem cozy step one relocation she reportedly moved to another wing of Mara Lago yes because in true modern fairy tale fashion nothing says happily ever after like needing 300 ft of reinforced drywall between you and your husband h step two security upgrades and not just cameras we're talking an alert system a literal Donald proximity alarm rumor has it the team coded it so it plays the sound of a flushing toilet and the opening bars of Macho Man every time he gets within 50 ft because of course they did this isn't just petty this is professional-grade
spousal disengagement this is cold war tactics with Chanel flare melania didn't just walk away she installed counter surveillance and went full MI6 on her own husband how to communicate you say he's one of the best guests he is one of the best guests ever why because as a radio guest he says whatever pops into his mind and he understands how to play that game doesn't appeal to everyone but it appeals to enough people that style appeals to enough people to turn them on so he's a great radio guest what do you think of him as
a president well listen he asked me to endorse him and I couldn't um you couldn't i couldn't donald and I disagree on a lot of things and I had to say to Donald on the phone it was uncomfortable i can't endorse you and I haven't and here's the beautiful tragic comedy of it all donald did this to himself on tape repeatedly over the years he sat there in the echo chamber of Stern Studio practically begging for his dignity to be erased in highdefinition stereo who needs enemies when your best sound bites sound like confessions of
course this isn't new behavior trump's long-standing bromance with Howard Stern is the gift that keeps on giving if you're into slow motion PR train wrecks these two bonded over a shared love of objectifying women and interrupting each other with vaguely threatening laughter between 1999 and 2015 Trump appeared on the Stern show more than a dozen times each one a fever dream of ego misogyny and deeply uncomfortable TMI imagine turning up on live radio and describing your partner with the emotional depth of someone explaining their new golf club now imagine doing that in front of an
audience for fun even Stern a man whose career was built on pushing the envelope has lately distanced himself from Trump's mess it's one thing to be the court jester it's another to realize your favorite guest is now just screaming on the floor and calling it policy talking about kooky celebs remember when Howard Stern was edgy and cool me neither i'm not 100 stern is only getting worse listen to this bilefilled rant about Trump supporters hate the guy i hate the people who vote for him i think they're stupid i I do i'll be honest with
you i have no respect for you meanwhile Melania has gone full silent sniper no press conferences no public outbursts no Twitter storms just quiet soulcrushing contempt expressed through increasingly icy photo ops and what appears to be a firm refusal to share an elevator she's not just done she's postdone she's spiritually relocated to an Airbnb in the emotional Alps far away from the noise the chaos and the pungent aroma of hairspray and fast food grease let's be honest this marriage has been a reality show in denial since day one from the stiff armed public appearances to
the mysteriously delayed arrivals to campaign events Melania has always exuded the vibe of a woman who accidentally signed up for a Netflix series that turned into a psychological thriller the only thing missing has been a dramatic confessional booth and ominous background music now it's official the tapes are out the reactions are in and Melania isn't just over it she's installing a radar system to avoid it that's not marital fatigue that's urban warfare strategy that's the kind of maneuvering you see when nations prepare for invasions not when spouses argue over the thermostat and speaking of invasions
let's talk about Trump's knack for self- sabotage because this isn't just about some tasteless old interviews this is about the ongoing pattern of a man who can't stop talking even when every word is another shovel full of dirt on his credibility do you feel like you're in a different space now than you were 8 years ago i feel I was always me the first time as well uh I just feel that people didn't accept me maybe they didn't understand me uh the way maybe they do he's like a walking time bomb of accidental confessionals you'd
think someone who spent the last 8 years dodging investigations like raindrops would learn to shut up but no not Donald he's the only man who can turn a Howard Stern rerun into a national security issue at this point we should be monitoring old VHS tapes like they're live threats and while Trump scrambles to spin this latest embarrassment as fake news or locker room talk or some other tired excuse Melania is out here building a personal demilitarized zone that's not spin that's a woman taking strategic evasive action you don't install proximity alerts unless you're planning for
impact you don't call in the Secret Service to map escape routes unless you're expecting turbulence and you sure as hell don't move to another wing unless the one you're leaving behind smells like hot regret and Aquanet what makes this all the more absurd is that Trump still seems genuinely surprised by the fallout as if publicly embarrassing your wife for a decade might somehow go unnoticed as if the woman who's been perfecting the art of looking physically present but mentally in Geneva isn't already compiling her own escape manifesto now we're going to turn to George's interview
with radio legend Howard Stern we hear it's very candid it is candid howard talks about everything and anything as you know he has no filter but this book is still full of surprises a lot of self-reflection from Howard as well takes us inside how he's changed over the years and the art of interviewing he also opens up about his most famous guest President Trump and but here's the kicker this isn't just a marital meltdown this is a brand breakdown trump's entire public persona was built on the illusion of power dominance and the adoration of a
beautiful wife who supported him now that illusion is crumbling like an overcooked Trump steak the emperor's new clothes were bad enough turns out his marriage was duct tape and resentment all along melania's silence once seen as passivity is now being reinterpreted as tactical genius she played the long game she bited her time and now with the public finally hearing what she's known privately for years she's making her move one elegantly uncomfortable glance at a time and let's not forget the internet because if there's one thing the web loves it's a public unraveling social media has
turned this whole saga into a meme factory tik Tok is flooded with reenactments of Melania slamming invisible doors twitter's got Operation Slovenian Liberation trending and Instagram full of sideby-side comparisons between Trump's old stern interviews and current footage of Melania giving him the facial expression of a woman watching paint dry on a prison wall even Trump's defenders what's left of them are struggling did you ever run for office hell no no hell no you know why you're making a lot of money that's right right there doing your thing stop stop right there if If it wasn't
Listen I'm I'm not going to give up Listen I'm on Howard Stern show man let me be very very candid i'm not giving up my quality of life to earn $400,000 a year and be stressed it ain't happening okay so that it's that simple to me can I confess to you though i I will i will people going to call me crazy obviously I have my show First Take on ESPN every weekday morning right yes it's a debate show i would love to be in a presidential debate i Nothing i think you do great oh
my no no i'd eat them how do you spin a story where the villain is your guy the victim is his wife and the villain can be heard bragging about it in surround sound you don't you deflect you mumble something about the economy and pray nobody asks about the marriage alarm system but America isn't buying it because there's something universally relatable about a woman finally saying enough with actions instead of words melania may not be everyone's hero but right now she's giving off major divorce prepper energy and the public is eating it up this isn't
about politics anymore this is about spectacle the president of the United States is being ghosted at his own golf resort his wife is installing escape hatches like she's in a Marvel bunker and Howard Stern howard I once made a guy eat pudding blindfolded stern is the unexpected trutht teller in this whole circus if irony were a sport this would be the Super Bowl so what happens next will Melania escalate her cold war into a full-blown divorce will Trump finally realize that microphones record things will Howard Stern keep releasing secret tapes like it's Watergate the audio
book in the battle of Trump versus tapes the tapes are undefeated and Melania she's building her own Iron Curtain right in Palm Beach
