How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie ► Animated Book Summary

[Music] lesson one you can't win an argument Dale has been involved in and observed thousands of arguments he came to the conclusion that to get the best of an argument avoid it all together nine times out of 10 an argument ends with each person being more convinced that they're absolutely right even if you win an argument you lose why well because you've made the other person feel inferior and hurt their sense of Pride ask yourself is it really worth your time and energy trying to win an argument when it will give you nothing but a

temporary sense of victory in exchange for making your other person feel like crap lesson two never tell a man he is wrong Wayne is a wood Chopper Caryl is a builder Wayne specializes in Oak wood and Kyle in Pinewood one day Kyle ordered some oak wood from Wayne upon inspecting the oak wood Kyle was frustrated with its poor quality and wasn't willing to pay for it but Wayne noticed his Quality Inspection was too strict and was misinterpreting how to assess the quality of oak wood he knew Carl was wrong now most people would be tempted

to say Carl mate you're bloody wrong but not Wayne instead he began asking questions as to why the oak wood was not of high quality he emphasized that he was only asking so that he could give Carl exactly what he wanted for future orders he approached the situation in a friendly and Cooperative manner eventually kyl's attitude changed he soon admitted he was not experienced with Oakwood and began asking Wayne questions he finally understood that it was his fault for making poor judgments about the quality of the wood K ended up happily paying for the wood

now that's the power of never telling someone they're wrong feel free to try this out in your own life I'm confident you'll notice that people respond much more positively to you when you don't tell them they're wrong lesson three ask questions instead of giving orders it makes people want to cooperate with you if you want your roommate to help you do the dishes you'll likely get a more positive response if you say hey Clarence could you please give me a hand with the dishes instead of hey Clarence do the dishes with me now framing your

request as a question rather than a demand makes Clarence feel like he has a choice and therefore will be more responsive to your requests Lesson Four remember names Andrew Carnegie one of the richest men in history understood the importance of names as a child he had a nest of pet rabbits but no food to feed them he told the boys in the neighborhood that if they would go out and get enough Dandy lines to feed the rabbits he would name the bunnies in their honor the plan worked he used the same principle in business a

man named pman and himself were fighting against each other trying to get the sleeping car business to work during a meeting one evening Andrew suggested that they merge companies and work together pman listened intently and then asked what would you call the new company Andrew responded why the Pullman Palace car company of of course Pullman's face brightened and he said come into my room let's talk it over when I first met Amy she told me her name but I didn't hear her properly I asked her to say it again and even a third time during

class the longer you leave it the more awkward it becomes you might feel embarrassed about asking more than once but realize that people appreciate it when you take the time to learn their name I remember randomly talking to a man in my class named Tom next week I came in and I said hey Tom how you doing and he said wow I'm surprised you remembered my name and now for the final lesson talk in terms of others interests if there was just one lesson you could take away from this book this would be it I

really struggle to talk to new people it doesn't matter if we have nothing in common because I talk about their interests in one of my first conversations with Amy I asked her a simple question what do you like to do in your spare time she said I listen to music randomly sing and dance draw do artsy stuff try and keep fit watch movies and funny TV shows I read I cook I play with my pets and spend time with my family and friends I followed her up with another simple question okay so what do you

read and what do you draw Amy got excited after a long Outburst of sharing her interest she said I'm getting way too excited talking about this no one ever gets to know me this way so I have this all bottled up it's so awesome talking about my passions so thanks for listening to me we get along so well now and have been great friends since it doesn't matter whether you're talking to your boss workmates teachers friends family or strangers talk in terms of other people's interests and they'll love you for it okay now let's summarize

what we've learned today you can't win an argument never tell a man he is wrong ask questions instead of giving orders remember names and most importantly talk in terms of others interests feel free to drop a comment below and subscribe to this channel for more weekly videos like this one [Music]