all right so before I begin I just want to put this up here because I predict an uncanny amount of things that happened in this movie actually uncanny is a bit of an over exaggeration and I don't know how to spell it but Google shall help me out with that no worries so welcome to it chapter Uno and we start off with two kids Billy and his little brother Georgie who wants to go out and play in the rain with a little paper boat that they made but Billy doesn't want to go down play so
he fixed being sick and [ __ ] out so Georgia goes down to play with the book in the ring alone and he runs after it then he smacks his head into a a hurdle uh a roadblock a singular roadblock I don't know what to call this a post I want to call it a post he slams head first into a post cause apparently he's a blind dumbass and the bolt gets away from him and goes down the storm dream then a creepy as clown named Pennywise shows up in the storm game and tricks Georgie
into reaching inside so he can grab his boat and then he bites his arm off then pulls the rest of them in and eats him alright now it's time to introduce the rest of the game we got Mike he's homeschooled his family died in a tragic fire and he's too nice to shoot sheep and his uncle doesn't [ __ ] about it German boy he's a mama's boy and his mom is a huge over detective parents glasses he jokes Stan he's a [ __ ] not much else to say about a meter that kid also
referred to as new kid he has no friends and hangs out a lot in the library because he has no friends and he has a crush on Beverly a ginger girl whose mama is dead and her dad is kind of abusive and possessive and violent and or abuses her sexually not sure about that one and they all get bullied by your usual overblown movie bullies especially this [ __ ] whose dad is a bit of an [ __ ] and a cup so some time passes and the school year ends with a bunch of kids
being kidnapped or going missing and Billy is convinced that his little brother Georgie is still alive somewhere then we cut to Mike who's delivering some meat and has a spooky moment that gets interrupted by the [ __ ] bullies who try to [ __ ] run him over to say what's wrong with his demented [ __ ] movie boys then Stan has a spooky moment while he was practicing Hebrew for his apartment when a picture of a creepy lady falls over and he goes to pick it up and I bet the woman is along on
the painting and anyway she shows up behind him and Spooks him and he runs away and now the new kid he's in the library reading about the history of dairy and the librarian drops a book and a sudden cut and he flips the pages of that book to an ominous soundtrack and I'm guessing that is gonna turn to a weird ass scary flip book from hell and severed head there you go and then he finds a red balloon and a trail of flaming eggs and he follows them like oh piece of candy ooh piece of
candy then he has a scary moment with Pennywise but not before he has another Sky moment with a kid who walks down the stairs very weirdly and slowly and creepily and I bet Something's Gonna Be wrong with his face or head like it's gonna be [ __ ] up with some [ __ ] and hey it's gone that counts that counts then after that the bullies get a hold of him and they want to [ __ ] him up but some peeps drive by and they do nothing [ __ ] nothing those Pricks so the
main bully starts carving his [ __ ] name into the fat kid's stomach what the [ __ ] is wrong with this kid dog the fat kid tries to escape pushes him off and tumbles down the hill and the most persistent bullies on Earth follow him in Hot Pursuit meanwhile Billy Stan glasses and germ boy are down by the river or a stream or whatever at a location where Billy thinks his brother might have ended up at but what they find is a shoe of one of the missing kids I talked about earlier then the
fat kid drops down in the river all muddy and bloody and [ __ ] scary disgusting okay how the [ __ ] does he not make any noise running down into her prior to his fault was he flying didn't Eagle drop him was it over on silent mode so they take the new kid to get some help and first aid and one of the bullies pyromaniac friends goes into the tube that the kids are in with the DIY flamethrower because he thinks that the fact is in there and he hears some Spooks and I bet
you as soon as he fires that flame for her again he's gonna see some scary [ __ ] and there we go easy points baby and then he tries to run away but gets lost and trapped inside the tubes or the sewers and then he looks back and red balloon shows up and I'm pretty sure because he's an important super character that balloon's gonna pop and pretty much gonna be behind him he's gonna eat him the accuracy boy so they're trying to help the new kid but they need supplies from the pharmacy and they get
them with the help apparently he was there buying some period stuff like pads and stuff where she distracts the child predator pharmacist so they can walk out with the stuff they tend to that get she says hi then she goes home and cries and cuts her hair because her dad was being creepy about it and then next day they all go jumping off a [ __ ] cliff into some water have a swim then they all the girl because testosterone then the new kid tells him about some weird ass disappearings that happened every 27 years
and they never come back bloody Trail what else speaking of said well house German boy passes by up and has a scary moment with a zombie looking sick dude and Pennywise and if you haven't count on by now Pennywise uses their worst fears to scare them and their fear makes him strong now it's Beverly's scary moment and she goes into the bathroom to read a poem that a secret admirer that a secret admirer that a secret admirer [ __ ] wrote for her and that secret mirror is the pack kid then she hears some spooky
noises coming out of the sink and she goes to check it out and [ __ ] is Gonna Come Out the sink right nope nope okay whatever it's cool so then she gets her dad's tape measure and and shuts it down the sink to see what's happening down there and pulls it out and oh its hair hair is coming out the sink ooh now it's pure blood points baby now it's Billy's turn for the Spooks and he's he's Pennywise in his basement and pretty much has to eat him but he gets away but nah before
he sees the room of his brother's leg open and I'm pretty sure that his brother is gonna run across creepily at some point across the shot right yeah yeah there we go easy don't they all go over to Beverly and help her clean up the period blood that's all over the walls of the [ __ ] bathroom that she thought she was the only one that could see because her dad came in and he was like no I can't I don't see anything so they clean out the bathroom Billy flirts with Beverly and fat kid
watches in sadness then they find Mike The Homeschool kid and he's getting beat up by the bullies so they leave their bikes right in the middle of the [ __ ] road like they could even put it on the [ __ ] side like on the side well there's a sidewalk you know so they make it down there just before the main bully is about to crack Mike's head open with a [ __ ] rock that demented a little [ __ ] they save him then they throw rocks at each other and scare the blaze
off and [ __ ] him up then they all get to talking and find out that they're all having spooky moments and they all see a clown and so they go to Billy's house and they see a map of all the happenings and they find out that it's all connected to the well house then the projector starts flipping around some images and I'm guessing it's going to turn to another scary flipbook type deal thing you know and it does then Pennywise give them a sneak peek at 3D technology which is way ahead of the time
and he tries to eat them but they get out the garage just in time for him not to do so so Billy rides up and decides to go to the well house because he doesn't give a [ __ ] anymore and he wants to go like what's up danger [ __ ] and the rest of the group follows him but they're all hesitant to go in all except for the girl I should just stay out of here wow all the dudes are [ __ ] you know what petition to change the word dick to mean
what's instead of [ __ ] all in favor all right actually I'm too used to being [ __ ] all in favor of switching it back then it's settled nothing has changed so some of them go in and glasses finally has a spooky moment with clowns because that's what he's most afraid of which is very convenient for Pennywise and I'm betting that Penny was about to jump out of this [ __ ] casket yeah I knew it some more spooky [ __ ] happens and German boy falls through a [ __ ] ceiling and breaks
his arm how I don't know he found his back in such a way that would never break his arm and is clearly not broken in this shot but whatever Beverly steps Pennywise in the head then he leaves then they all have a falling out sometime passes and we cut to the boy's dad who's teaching him a lesson because he's about to shoot a [ __ ] cat that stupid little child after that Pennywise gifts the bully a nice that he lost in the beginning of the movie while he's trying to carve his name into the
[ __ ] fat kid's stomach and he tells him to kill his dad which he does and also tells them to kill the kids some [ __ ] up [ __ ] man then Beverly stands up to her dick head dad and gets kidnapped by Pennywise Billy finds his news out because he went to her house I don't know why he went to her house but he did and this news is apparently enough to rally the troops so they can go and defeat the Wise Penny so they go down the well inside the well house
but the bully still is up trying to kill them so Mike just throws them down well good job Mike however Stan didn't realize that the bully showed up and Mike was fighting him so he continued onwards without the group and Pennywise showed up and tried to bite his [ __ ] face off in the form of this evil hope but thankfully the group show up just before he's about to [ __ ] take a huge ass bite out of his face and he's only left with bite marks on his face and I'm pretty sure that's
gonna scar right I mean he has huge ass sunken teeth in his face those are gonna scar right then Billy sees his little brother running off in the distance and he follows him which is [ __ ] stupid because just five minutes ago he was the child that said we have to stick together and that's the only way we can defeat him [ __ ] dumbass kid whatever the group catches up to him and they find Beverly floating in the sky because Pennywise showed her three spooky lights inside of his mouth and she's floating down
low but up high all the missing kids are floating which confuses me because I thought Pennywise ate them all why her body's still there is he saving them for later or some [ __ ] so they get her down and her eyes are white and she's completely unresponsive so Fatso tries to shake her out of it but it doesn't work and I'm thinking he's gonna kiss her and then he's gonna snap out of it right yeah see told you then they both recite the poem that he wrote for her and Billy finds his little brother
and he has a cutie Tootsie moment with him but he deep down knows that it's Pennywise so he pulls out might killing gun and shoots his little brother in the head then the little kid morphs into Pennywise and the kids realized that their fear makes him stronger so they all grow a pair and start being the [ __ ] out he gets defeated because they are no longer afraid of him and he jumps or drops down a well and they all make a blood pack to kill my favorite comes back which dog of course he's
gonna come back he didn't kill him properly ditch it then after they hang out a bit everybody leaves one by one and Billy and Beverly left together and it looks like they're gonna kiss right here and called it that's it this will be a 50 Cent out of an unwise Penny yeah laughs foreign [Music]
