[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today so I have a kind of indirect Financial question if you will not necessarily about my finances but a a conversation I would like to have about finances in my family okay um so just a little bit about my situation I am 22 years old I'll be turning 23 uh on Sunday this upcoming week oh happy early birthday thank you from 2021 to 2024 is when I accured all of my debt to around 30,000 okay and so my question is I would like
to um I've been taking care of it since September of last year to now which originally was 3 uh 37,000 plus but since then I've taken care about seven to eight grand of it so far good for you that's great my thank you my concern though is that while I accured this debt neither of my parents know anything about it or about my financial situation um do they support you financially in any way um so yes and no um my father he doesn't live with us but he he is supportive of me if I were
to need some financial situation or some financial help he would and I live with my mother and my grandmother but um considering how much I make I make enough where I think I'm okay enough without asking for help yes what caused you to go into the debt if you were in this or were you not in this living situation before either way what caused you to go into the debt um I uh before if you were to ask me that question I would have made up a lot of excuses but I'm I've worked on it
enough and made enough accountability to say myself um com 2021 I had kind of moved out from my mother's house and lived with my ex and so it was through some immature purchases on my end and his end I had set up a joint account for the both of us and so um he was taking out most of the money between how much we were both earning and I was the more so the bread winner compared to what he was making and I was I was okay with it I would have just liked a heads
up because I was working about maybe 60 plus hours a week so he was using he was using your yeah he was using your money plus going into debt under your name yeah um wow I was I was really stupid essentially M you're listen we all make mistakes mistakes are research yeah it was just I was just trying to more of a clarifying question making sure I understood the situation okay so my next question is why do your parents need to know well the reason why is because my mom and I have um been talking
a lot more and one of my biggest goals for this year is to be more open and honest with the people in my life my loved ones my parents and I want more instead of like a a child mother relationship since I am getting older I want more of an adult relationship with my mom sure the other two really big concerns are um since I work these two jobs my mom has been open about like what she sees in me and how they're both physical labor jobs and so she says how exhausted I look and
how tired I look and um the other part is our grandmother lives with us but she has Alzheimer's and so on top of working two jobs I try to help my mom as much as I can with my grandmother so are you saying they're wondering are you saying that you kind of want to give them some context as to why you're working so hard at the jobs you're doing is that what you're saying yeah I um so why don't you tell them I'm sorry the other big thing was with everything going on politically my mom
has made it quite uh known to me how concerned she is about me and my family's well-being and she has said um consistently on numerous occasions if things were to go from push to shove she would like for us to leave the country and cool so with us with her bringing that up continuously having some experiences already are you guys from do you have a non- US background is that what you're saying are you concerned about immigration is that what you're saying no when you say for leave the country African Aman okay oh I I
hear you okay enough said here's what I'm thinking here's what I'm thinking um I get what you were saying earlier you're talking about a lot of different things so let's talk about first the financial side of things a uh if you want to give somebody context without giving them a ton of details that's fine you can say listen I've got some debt I'm trying to pay off that's why I'm working so hard if you don't want to tell them the whole 30,000 hold on here you want here do you want some more U I've got
water sorry guys I'll take over for a second thank you go ahead give me a give me a wave Jade cuz she's got some good stuff to say uh yeah so so echoing on what she's saying is that you can have a deep relationship with someone um and and I um and be able to to kind of share what you're going through of like the struggle of like oh yeah you know I do have some debt I'm trying to pay off that's why I'm putting in these hours um and this is the why behind it
and I do agree you don't need to walk alone when it comes to your money so having somebody in your life that has context and knows what's going on I think is important it doesn't have to be your parents and I wouldn't say your parents have to know every detail of your life in order to have a a close and great relationship but if you want that peer-to-peer um mentality too Michaela you are your own person as well and so if your mom you know has you know and maybe you share in her fears or
not I don't know but she can have her own you know set mindset of you know what's going to happen for her future or what she thinks may have to happen but also Michaela you know you're 22 years old and so you get to make some decisions and decide for yourself hey here's you know here's the reality of my life too and just because my mom goes one way I don't have to go that way either unless you do think that right and you may have context in that which is totally fine but I do
think you are your own standing person at 22 your parents um don't need to know these things but I understand opening up and wanting them into what's going on with your life I think is great and if you want to tell them the number tell them the number like you didn't you know we always say like Deb is not a sin it's not a Salvation issue you know wasn't some like big moral failure yeah yeah you made some mistakes you look back and like that was stupid with my ex why did I do that but
listen we all make mistakes like like things happen in life Michaela so you're 22 do not beat yourself up about it I couldn't have said it better myself Rachel said it while I was in a coughing fit and she covered it l you could probably have a lot better more to more to add that was it she covered it that's exactly it I won't repeat it but I think Michaela you know what you have to do and just listen above all don't be influenced by somebody else's fears like if they have fears and concerns they're
they they're um able to have those everybody gets to have the emotional train that they want to have um and if you feel the same way fine but don't let it if you don't don't let that fear kind of lock you into something you should or shouldn't be doing with your money okay I um thank you thank you truly I I'm I'm sorry I'm really trying not to cry that's all right what what is it what's what is making you want to cry I don't think I want to cry um that's okay mom and my
dad are really big people in my life and um I really really look up to them we're not we're not super rich but I get I get my really hard work ethic from them and so they Tau me what I know about finances and I feel really really Dum getting where I am I see you feel wor disappointed in me with where I am oh my God I am so sorry no that what you're talking about is so so real like the guilt that we feel over previous mistakes that we've made with our money the
guilt that we feel having not met expectations that we feel were put on us or maybe that we've put on ourselves what you're talking about U Michaela is such a real thing and a lot of times when we think about getting our money under control we kind of think it's just this light switch that we flip all right I'm getting on a plan that's it and I just do it and I feel nothing until it's over and that is simply not true you go through a wide range of emotions and guilt and shame is one
of them but I want to tell you Michaela you may have made mistakes with your money but you are not a mistake okay you are not a problem a problem you are not a burden it was just something you went and you went through it and let those emotions go through you okay it's when you get stuck in them that they become a problem yes yeah it does not define who you are your past mistakes don't Define who you are Michaela so know that there's freedom in it and opportunity ahead create your free every dooll
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