not having arms makes it that much harder to balance and we didn't even see a a second of faltering welcome to AGT hi thank you what's your name my name is Zion Clark and uh how old are you I'm 25 and where you from I'm from Canton Ohio okay today I am going to show you what it means to have the feeling of No Excuses running through your body yes no excuses you're amazing yeah the stage is yours go ahead buddy absolutely all right wow my name originally was Zion Zachariah Daniels that's the name my
birth mother gave me I don't know my birth parents and I don't know why they named me ey on but I know that it's a mountain mentioned in the bible it's where people supposedly went to protect themselves from the evils of the world I know about the evils of this world I survived for 16 years in the foster care system I was abused physically and mentally by those who were supposed to protect and nurture me Society said I would never amount to anything but I chose to walk on my two hands instead of the wheelchair
they put me in I chose to represent the Team USA wrestling team and every time I lost a match I got back up again and became an All-American wrestler I chose to join Pro MMA where I won my first fight against an able-body opponent I chose to earn three Guinness World Records for the fastest man on two hands the highest box jump and the most diamond push-ups amazing I chose a life of No [Music] Excuses tremendous trip life is going to try to make you full but when you choose to climb that huge mountain overcome
the obstacles put in your way carve your own path in order to reach the summit you will reach the top my name is Zion and I made it here to America's Got Talent to show the world that anything is [Applause] possible you are absolutely incredible I'm so happy that you came to audition I'm so happy that we met and I have to say that you're very very handsome too very but you know what I love it's your smile I mean from the moment you arrive you look like you're so happy you know and so many
so many times we we think our world and our life are hard but I mean I can't imagine what it's have been to you and still here you come with a smile thank you for coming to AGT thank [Applause] you you know we use the word amazing a lot but I think it really applies to who you are and I want everybody to watch you to know you to just you need to be you are very very very important Simon well I am so happy you came on our show you have no idea because you
have such an incredible personality you defined the word inspiration I listen to everything you said how you've come through this with this attitude is remarkable and honestly for me this is what this show Absolutely is all about which is meeting talented people who you're going to remember and you're going to make a difference and I applaud you amazing one day Glory I'd like to start off I want to give you your first yes I want to give you a second yes sopia three yeses Simon I'm not going to give you four yeses I'm going to
give you 4 million yeses hello hello hello and what's your name please uh my name is Samuel AK samuka very nice to meet you tell us about your story please uh I grew up in Brazil uh so when I was like about 13 years old I discovered like cancer in my leg and I had to amputate my leg uh yeah but luckily like after there I met dance and like it changed my life and that's why I'm here wow amazing and do you have a dream beyond the show you mean if I win yeah yeah
uh I get a house for my mom for of course for sure first thing I hope to help also people with cancer yeah yes okay we're rooting for you good luck everybody over there Get on Up Everybody right there get into it everybody R down get involved everybody [Music] [Applause] get come on come on come on with your come on come on come on everybody getbody right get it everybody over here get it get [Applause] you do back my everybody there get over right there get get get over here get get get you get you
get back you get you get you get you get I've been standing singing of every I've been wonder if on the right Road I mean it's hard to describe but it was good in the beginning and it just kept on getting better and Wilder and more flips and more flips it was incredible I tell you what the whole of Brazil and the whole world is going to watch this and applaud it yes yes and you know obviously the Olympics this year is bringing in break dancing for the first time and I always think about the
show a bit like the Olympics sometimes in my head I go that's a 10 occasionally I go that's an 11 that was a 12 than you really are an inspiration sopia well dancing is my favorite part of America's Got Talent and you didn't disappoint me you one of the best acts that I've seen thank you so much hoe your style is so uh contemporary and you totally forget or not even aware of being an amputee it's how you take that stage in the song you choose it's mesmerizing absolutely this P I think I know where
it's going hoe yes Heidi yes Sophia yes if I calculate how many people I think are going to see this it's probably about 100 million yeses you're going see [Applause] thank you that was inredible you did that flip with one leg go I love it amazing welcome to America's Got Talent All Stars what is your name my name is Victoria bu hi Victoria and how old are you I'm 18 and where you from I'm from Brazil from Brazil and tell me a little bit about your [Applause] story uh she was born without her arms well
when she was little her mother brought her to my mother dance studio so she started to dance and since then we are like a family oh wait so you're not only your interpreter your mother was a I am her dance teacher oh [Applause] wow I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not [Music] enough every single lie that tells me I will never measure love ooh you say I love when I can't feel the P wow you say I am strong when I think time weak and you say I am H when I
am fall in short when I don't belong oh you say I am yours and I believe oh I believe what you say of me oh I believe taking all I have and now I'm laying it at your feet o w you say I am love when I can't feel you say I am strong when I think I [Music] weak oh I believe yes I believe what you say to me I believe [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm so happy that you came all this way that we here in America get to see you you're beautiful and you
know you have so much Poise so much Elegance when you dance it was so beautiful to watch and thank you for that thank you so much that's beautiful well you know Victoria first of all I believe the sign of a star is someone who perseveres and then when they're on stage lights up the stage and you have both of those things me you have this glow about and when you were performing in here you it was like complete silence because we were mesmerized and I think the whole of Brazil and now the whole of America
is going to be rooting for you you are an all star thank you so much [Music] [Music] all the ways of a dream your love me high heart by I color rain for you it's amazing what feelings can do love comes shining through a meum Stars toight rising from your heart AUM dream with do come true me stars toight make everything all right cuz all the dreams are made for you follow your dreams follow your heart and know believe you are the light me drams we do come to a mdle stars toight make everything go
right cuz all those RS are made for you [Applause] [Applause] [Music] oh CH semi finale be what's your name Mandy Harvey and who's this my interpreter what's your name Sarah nice to meet you Sarah nice to meet you sir Sarah doing well thank you hello okay Mandy so I think I've worked this out so you're death yes I I last saw my hearing when I was 18 years old wow and how old are you now uh 29 so it's 10 years wow and Mandy how did you lose your hearing if you don't mind me asking
I have a connective tissue disorder so basically I got sick and my nerves deteriorated so you were singing before you lost your hearing yeah I've been singing since I was four so I I left music after I lost my hearing and then uh figured out how to get back into singing with muscle memory using visual tuners and trusting my pitch so your shoes are off cuz you're feeling the vibration is that how you're following the music yeah I'm feeling the tempo the the beat uh through the floor and Mandy what are you going to sing
I'm going to uh sing a song that I wrote called try okay can you tell me what it's about after I lost my hearing I gave up but I want to do more with my life than just give up so okay well look this is your moment and good luck okay [Applause] [Music] I don't feel the way I used to the sky is gray much more than it is blue but I know one they I'll get through and I'll tell take my place again if I would [Music] try if I were [Music] try oh there
is no one for me to blame cuz I know the only thing in my way is me I don't live the way I want to that whole picture never came into view but I'm tired of getting used to the [Applause] [Music] day so I will try [Music] so I will try if I would try if I were try [Music] [Applause] Mandy I don't think you're going to need a translat for [Applause] this wow [Applause] it's incredible I mean I've done this a long time that was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen and
heard come here that was amazing amazing congratulations guys [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] honestly I never think I'm going to be surprised or Amazed by people and then you turn up and with I mean just the fact that you are you but it was your voice your tone the song was beautiful congratulations you were straight through to the live shows hello hello welcome to America's Got Talent tell us your name my name is Ben weits I am 32 and I am from Nashville Tennessee originally born in Louisiana Ben nice to meet you tell us a little
bit about you I am a southern gospel singer and a vocal coach okay all right and what will you be singing for us today I will be singing true colors why that s that the message of the song I Feel is able to speak to people no matter their age their race their background um it's able to communicate a message of [Applause] Hope and did you bring anyone special with you today my wife is here my mom is here and my grandmother is here you can say hi and they're all standing in the wing my
wife is is on the side my uh my mom and grandmother in the audience hi everyone and uh Ben do the people you coach know you've auditioned no oh why not in that time with them it's all about them okay but now it is all about you and we can't wait to hear you good luck [Music] you with the sad eyes don't [Applause] beour me all the way it's hard to take courage in a world full of people you can lose lose sight of it all and the Darkness inside you makes you feel so small
but I see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid you got to let them show your true true CS are [Music] beautiful makes it crazy and you've taken all that you can bear just call me up and I will always be there and see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show for truth comes true colors are beautiful hello hello what's your name my name is Dante oh
I love that name how old are you Dante 13 years old are you supposed to be at school at this minute yes I am but however yeah do they know why H not really no oh okay we'll keep it a secret and what is the reason that you decided to come on Britain's gotot Talent so I was born with brittle bone disease and I've came on br's Got Talent to shout over people like myself that even if you got some sort of disability or disadvantage that you can go as far as your imagination wants to
take you how would you spend the money if you won Britain's Got Talent I would buy me Mom a giant house a is that who's in the wings your mom yes I wouldn't go anywhere without ala well the stage is yours good luck thank you oh blessing [Applause] I am just 1 years old I broken 97 Bones the hospitals my second home but I just want to say don't feel sorry for me cuz I feel sorry for you get to go on the rides in Disneyland while you're still in the C girl get home and
you find my in no don't don't feel TI for me I in Palace I very up and down the close you get is watching the crowd why you wait for a trade in the C and D I'll be getting on F hope I R when I got my new Wheels they look so Ace I was happy like s when he got his new [Music] face so slow slow don't feel s for me cuz I feel for you birthday I CLE sa had 6 [Music] to your TV ripping it up for BG so don't don't feel
sorry for me you are very Mor that's go on Why Did I Get It me and Dante know each other oh do you we've met a few times cuz he said could you write a book about a boy in a wheelchair and I dedicated it to Dante is that why you didn't insult him you write that song yourself yes in lockdown it really captured you how cheeky you are how special you are and how much you do to inspire others too so I loved it Dante thank you that means so much yeah you're amazing very
very cheeky your laugh is really naughty as well isn't it what is there not to love about you well done D thank you comedy often has to make you think or make you go oh God are we allowed to say that and that's when it's the best comedy that was a really funny song well done thank you yeah you know it was just a great audition and if we put you through to the next round can I help you write the lyric that someone on this panel we'll have to wait and see I always say
a great audition is one you're going to remember and I'm going to remember this it was great uh can I be the first to say yes [Applause] please so yes for me Dante I'm saying yes Dante it's a yes for me so that's four yeses well [Applause] done good evening what is your name um my name is Amanda hi Amanda and and how old are you Amanda um uh uh I'm 19 years old where you from uh I'm from Connecticut okay and what are you going to be doing for us tonight uh as you could
probably tell uh I have a bit of a speech impediment um and uh it was definitely something that caused me to um to shy away uh and to hide uh but I found that I that I don't stutter when I sing oh wow is it going to be a song we know is it an original uh I will be singing uh a song that I wrote and it's just about some hard times uh and if I could go back and changed those things I wouldn't because they made me me well I cannot wait to hear
good luck I hope she's good come [Music] on I still remember that kid afraid to open the door and now she's grown and she doesn't keep that fear anymore it was kept in a box and it locked she held the key but now the box is locked and the key nowhere to be seen oh my gosh but what if I could go back in time and change the way I felt about my life oh but then would I still have inside everything that brought me back to [Music] life I still remember that kid wanting to
be more but now she knows that she's worth more than what she's been told she tried her best to be best and just forget the [Music] rest but the rest is the best and it's what you get so just let go but what if I could go back in time and change the way I felt to about my life oh but then would I still have Insight everything that brought me to [Music] life I as so you're really emotional what are you what are you thinking it's just crazy I couldn't there were times when I
was a kid where I was like like I can never do anything like this like I'm not good enough it's not only good it's great thank you for having the gods to follow your heart it's terrifying auditioning when you don't have an issue like that and then you are amazing I mean your voice is so pure so beautiful and also you're a good songwriter and I think you're an incredible person I'm so happy you came here I would love to give you your first yes of course def yes or yes howdy welcome thank you how
are you I'm delightful thank you nice to meet you what's your name please Josh Blue welcome Josh Blue what a cool name thank you my parents gave me a stage name so I had to go with it no I did Josh Blue away from Josh I live in Denver Colorado okay tell us a bit about you Josh so uh I have cereal py I like to get that out of the way early otherwise definitely want to let you off the hook you know uh you're like this guy is drunk man I do standup comedy I
know I look like I'm about to fall over but I i' get it done tell us why you decided to enter the show this year after the year we've had I think the world is just ready for some laughter here here here here I I just I'm a laugh junkie man I like that too okay Josh the stage is yours all right buckle up all right let's go sopia ready it's really good to be here you know I'm not from California but I look like I am just another wobbly guy on a sidewalker I made
eight bucks walking over here thank you hey can you guys see this bracelet yeah yeah good make sureair yeah everybody always thinks that this is one of those copper magnetic healing bracelets like hey does that thing work I'm like oh yeah man I was in a wheelchair last week I'mma put it on this arm next week I better take it off soon though you know I don't want to get get too better might mess up my show and then I have to figure out how to be a magic singing ventriloquist or [Laughter] whatever let's just
say we're not getting a puppet on that thing oh my God I was back in Denver last week walking down the street this lady come up to me I think it's so inspirational that you're out I was like I'm on my way to the liquor store I I got eight bucks burning a hole in my pocket I was at a restaurant with a bunch of friends and the server went around the table and took everybody's order and then when they got to me they're like and what will he have my buddy was like I'm guessing
to talk with your manager free dinner oh he's genius I love him thank you this is the best make a wish ever thank [Applause] you thank you oh you hello hello what's your name please uh my name is Musa W I'm originally from South Africa but I've recently moved to London oh you did fantastic tell me about you please um I got um diagnosed with cancer when I was young that's led to the amputation and um yeah I was a football player before I got amputated and then after my amputation I fell in love with
music my friends they were dancing at that time I asked them to teach me how to dance so they threw like boxes on the floor and then they were like okay this is how you do it your left Crouch us it as a left leg and that's how it started and then I'm in London I'm in UK I'm in my favorite country England this is the perfect time for me to actually reach out to more people and inspire a lot of people out there and um yeah that's that's incredible so how long have you spent
preparing for this audition um since I think forever I've been imagining myself on stage and now it's happening I'm like yeah that's yeah I get it I get it okay well look no more questions okay good luck thank you I hope you enjoy can you imagine what he's been there no no [Music] these four lonely walls have changed the way I feel the way I [Applause] feel I'm standing [Music] still nothing else matters now you're not here so where are you I've been calling you I'm missing you where else can I go where else can
I go Chasing You Chasing [Applause] You memories turn to D please don't bury us I got you I got you running R [Applause] run it all I [Music] rning I'm ready to face it all If I Lose Myself I lose it [Applause] [Music] all I love the that Chang they standing still I'm running [Music] still I'm running still and every voice C inside my head forever Drive forever [Music] drive I'm giz If I Lose Myself I lose it [Music] all that was Sensational Sensational oh oh my goodness take your applause I never see anything like
that that was amazing here I stand taken off my PR and a run if nowhere to hide I'm exposed FL know you're still here and that's something beautiful that's a proper ration oh that was brilliant that's something beautiful wo wo that's something beautiful and that's something [Applause] beautiful that you are here here with me oh [Applause] beautiful we done we left don't have any left again we got n left sorry guys we've got no gold [Applause] more that's w i that's something beautiful that's you that was one of the most extraordinary auditions that I think
I've ever seen on this show it's so much admiration for you everything you've been through you clearly somebody no matter what they put their mind to you will achieve it so [Applause] welome that was exceptional we all agree with that listen to me we use them all we use the all [Applause] CL please please if they doing again they kill me but they're going to kill me [Applause] let something beauti and let something [Applause] beautiful that's something beautiful they they [Applause] that's who are here with [Applause] me in the [Music] M how you told me
you we remember tonight for the rest of [Music] our is [Applause] we an arst you really [Applause] are he's fantastic come here that was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in all the years done this genuinely amazing look at this look but this is not [Applause] [Music] [Applause] us for it's for you not for us it's for you take your bow If These Wings could fly never ever heard of reaction like that in my life thank you um I'm I'm the True Believer and a true example of breaking the word impossible in
you I impossible I thank you so much in the [Applause] morning you're absolute hero oh my God hello hi welcome to BR Scot Talen thank you what's your name my name is Serene how old are you I'm 14 14 yes and whereabouts you from I'm from London okay okay have you told your friends of school you're here today no they have no idea I'm here right okay so who's here with you today my grandfather my two aunties my uncle my cousin my brother and my parents a nice mix goodness me it's the entire audience it
is the entire audience I like that is there anything else you want to tell us about you yourself um so I guess it's pretty obvious that I can't see uh there was time where I could and now I can't but I guess music is my vision and that's just what I live by and music is my thing good for you well we're all rooting for you and I know everyone at home is going to be rooting for you too so in your own time Serene thank you almost here that was good problem okay there you
are there you there good Lu [Applause] [Music] you are the other L one world away my M believe while I'm wide awake just a trick life to bring me back around again those wild eyes my psychedelic silouette I'm never meant a for you but I was buried underneath and all I could see white my salvation my mind salvation my mind my salvation my my salvation my [Music] my [Music] S this is who I am inside this is who I am I'm not going to hide cuz the greatest risk will ever take us the and being
seen as we are stand in the light and being seen as we are [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] e best of luck you sound great well done Serene what you couldn't see was the hole of the Palladium on their feet applauding you because they love you Alicia oh what a sweet sweet girl you are my heart is just melted I you're so nervous but that's completely understandable it's a massive deal it's a massive stage and you sang beautifully I just found the entire audition so poignant you're just so beautiful and vivacious you kind of just exude
lightness it was just brilliant thank you um Serene um were you nervous because you thought you're going to get bad comments have people criticized you in the past I I only do school performances so this is something completely new and being able to sing right now is just such a big opportunity and I don't want to waste it good for you I think I should be the first person to say yes it's a yes from me it's a yes for me and it's a yes for me well done toing yes this I am congratulations that
was really good absolutely [Applause] fantastic most of you look super confused right now so let's talk about the elephant in the room I know what you're all thinking who ordered Steven Hawking off of wish [Applause] he might be smarter than me but I would beat him in a race unless the race is downhill then I'm screwed we also have different conditions he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and I am Canadian specifically I'm half French on my left side I also have a brain muscle disability called cerebral palsy but being French is way worse than a brain
disability wow I used to have the word handicapped in my social media bio and then some random white lady messaged me telling me I need to change it to disabled oh you can't say that word anymore it is offensive to disabled people hm I don't think it's offensive last time I checked I was pretty disabled well you don't get to decide what is offensive or not to disable [Laughter] people who the hell does then some two-legged white woman on Facebook who is probably commenting on her phone from a handicapp bathroom stall thank you for listening
story my life I take a home I D my to keep a Waring time it's brilliant I mean funny Fearless your dog is beautiful it was just a great great great audition this I think is going to change your life from the moment you start started you were funny making fun of yourself your energy you're having such a good time out there I hope that you are the one comedian that finally wins AGT I love how you found your way I think you're very clever you're cheeky and you really were really funny I mean we
were all laughing it was fantastic I cannot believe you've only been doing this for one year because you seem to have a grasp of timing and humor you open up the conversation and normalize humanity and originality and your funny I think sir you're not going to be doing engineering much longer I think you're going to be full-time performing that's my prediction so I'm going to start off the voting with a yes and you're getting a big fat yes from me yes uh that makes it four yeses until [Applause] she's hello hello hello what is your
name my name is Jack Thomas and what do you do I play music what that have you brought some people to support you I really wish my mom was here she really really wanted to be here but unfortunately just couldn't elephant in the room I'm missing a limb and this was an accident unfortunately and when that happened I thought that my career in music was completely over and then I decided no it's not over I'm going to keep playing and the first song I thought of was all the small things and 8 days after my
accident I was on a drum kit playing that exact song and so I figur this is a full circle moment for me wow man well Jack I wish you the best of luck I'm really rooting for you the stage is yours thank you so much I hope you all [Applause] [Music] [Applause] enjoy care TR I take one LIF you're right [Applause] woo he's a really good drummer [Applause] [Music] W oh yeah [Applause] [Music] in [Music] [Applause] you've just had it you just owned that stage you owned the music you had the crowd everybody in life
regardless of what they do have hurdles to go through you not only showed up but you excelled the only thing that I feel bad and because I'm a parent that your mom is not in the room to see you she really really wishes she could be here but hey call her call her call her let's call her can I come down here so we can talk to her and see her too let's call Mom hello hi you're talking to a lot of people right now okay hi everyone this is uh this is hoe Mandel now
I just watched your son Al did did like it I loved it hey awesome I got to say that he just rocked the room he rocked the show and the only negative I have is you weren't here to see it since you weren't here to see the performance and see how 5,000 people were on their feet how about you stick around for the vote I'm going to give you your first yes one yes that was Trish Stratus uh I'm Lily saying hi Mom and I'm going to give you your second yes it is pardonal ficial
and I am giving the 30d yes but you know what he's got four yes and he's going on hello okay hello hello Lea how are you my darling D you you look nice you look fabulous we have met before haven't we yes ficia invited us to come on audition today didn't she so for everybody here tell us a bit about yourselves and what you're going to be doing and why well for Nathan this is such a special moment to get to perform for everybody and show that you really have a passion for something then you
can achieve really great things as you can see he's got a wonderfully cheeky personality and just thrives on dancing and we are very excited because today we're going to perform ean's favorite dance which is [Applause] the oh we love for you um buo oh for me my darling Oh yeah darling Oh yeah and all plee and D up say they shouting slapping and tear come on well whenever you're ready good luck [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I messed up tonight I L the I to start again I keep falling down I keep on hitting
the ground but I always get a nasty what's next I won't give up no I I reach the and then I'll start again do I won't be I want to try everything I want to know [Applause] I I won't give no I won't I reach the again I won't I want to try everything I want to try even though I'll keep on making those new mistakes I keep for making them every day those new mistakes try everything try I ever [Music] seen the baby you're a fire work come on and show a your word make
them go oh oh oh CU you show across the sky wow wellow wow Bruno it was a cheeky sizzling joyous cha chaa you give me that you give me the sh you were working it honey keep doing it made Manda oh Nathan I feel so proud of you your footwork was brilliant your facial expressions were everything you were just amazing we do get good dancers who are very boring on this show but both of you have got such amazing personality even before you started I think every single person in this theater was just going just
be brilliant and you were brilliant and everything about this audition I got to tell you I love oh Joanne thank you so much for nominating Nathan Nathan thank you for being such a superstar today making us all feel Joy you've really moved me thank you can I be the first to say yes [Applause] please Amanda it's a yes from me yes he a yes for me and it's a huge yes from me [Applause] congratulations hello hello how are you yeah I'm excited to be here take it you are from Scotland yes where whereabouts in Scotland
um I'm from a small town just outside Glasgow lovely very nice what's your name my name is Cubby Cubby that's a cool name that's my my my actual name's terrible it wouldn't work on stage oh please tell me please what's your real name David cufft son that's cool David cubby walks better Cub's cool and can you tell me a little bit about yourself um well I am actually a blind comic and H I've had a degenerative eye condition since birth gradually things have just got worse over the years until now where I could basically see
some bright lights right okay and how long have you been doing comedy about 5 years because as my eyesight kind of got worse your passions are taken away from you but I think I found something that my sight won't be a problem anymore I've never let it get me down I just want to don't take it seriously good luck my love good evening bretton's Got Talent very excited to be here especially after I was told that I'd be led on stage by two absolute professionals and legends of the show thank you sadly those stav Ros
flatly weren't available tonight and I know the first thing you're probably thinking to yourselves here well if this guy's blind why is he wearing glasses then I didn't even think that I didn't even think about [Applause] it I've got to say this gig's already going better than my last one I was 5 minutes into that before someone told me I was still standing in the middle of the train station and believe it or not folks but I do have a long-term girlfriend yeah won't catch me in the UND datatables [Laughter] [Applause] eh but but it
is hard meeting women when you're blind you know very few seem to want a real blind date it probably come as no surprise to anyone that I've got a dog e no might surprise you to learn though that it's a Bish on freeze have you seen them yes I [Laughter] haven't oh and you're not going to believe this but my bleeding dogs went blind on me what are the chances quite high that happens when your dog's a diabetic he still manages to hone in on food like a we blind diabetic sugar ninja though but taking
them for a walk now is a right barrel of laughs I'll tell you the blind are leading the blind here people ladies and gentlemen Britain's Talent you've been absolutely awesome thanks very much for listening the your [Applause] yeah oh this for you K Manda what did you think that I honestly think you have real potential and I'm honored that you came on the show cuz you did brilliantly so well David your stories were fantastic they were authentic they were true to you um you've turned what might be a negative in your life into a positive
but I'm so pleased you came on this show and the only way to judge comedy is it funny yeah it was hilarious so well done you thanks Simon uh you are really really really funny cubby and you know I love what really made me laugh was that you were laughing at your own jokes that always cracks me up because I do the same thing when normally in my case no one else Finds Me fny part of myself but I do have a habit of doing it we're really lucky that you came on the show this
year [Music] well cubby I completely agree with my fellow judges I think you're such a nice guy it was very authentic you've got naturally funny bones and I think you're going to inspire a lot of people and I think people are going to really really root for you so I am going to kick this off with a yes David cubby I'm saying yes it's a yes from me and now you have four yeses C [Applause] on that mic off here one more time thanks very much got it you got me St ahead well done you
should never start a Google search with the first two words 9 in [Laughter] no that predictive text takes over it didn't even know me and it decided what I was going to say next and now I have seen things that I cannot unsee oh yeah and it follows you around all your ads change and then like the other day on Facebook there was this ad for an adult coloring book a what now listen I'm an innocent person and I like to color so I clicked on it oh no you don't want to color that I
worked at this grocery store for a lot of hateful years why is it when you hate your job they won't fire you yeah and know look I worked in the worst department at the grocery store not the meat not produce not the Freez I worked in the steel Department you familiar with the steel Department right self checkout lane I got paid to watch people steal all day and people think you stupid like you know when they going to rob you when they bringing up their stuff they always got to look back up at you they're
like boop boop this one dude tried to humiliate me like I knew he was going to rob us cuz I'm looking at him he's looking at me I'm like just steal it but he he tries to play me in front of the entire store while he's ringing his stuff up he makes the beat noise with his mouth he didn't even do it right like you got to act this out go all in raise your pitch at least he's [Music] like like the produce is not even supposed to make a sound you're beeping un beable stuff
give it up for my dad jald Kelly the comedian I love that dude but he's a loser why oh my God I'm 7 years old and we have the same job the other day he was like hey yo Hunter are you going to work tonight if you going I'm going we have the same job I want guys to look at me and be like yeah I could afford that she looks like she'd appreciate like a thrift store frock something half off I do like thrift stores I at them a lot um I think it's cuz
I emotionally connect to the clothing cuz I know what it's like to feel used I am still looking for love but it's hard you know I just got my heart broken for the 15th time by the same guy I love her fool me once shame on you fool me 15 times wow I'm impressed what else you got yo this is a true story when I was 10 years old my parents sent me to Tourette's Camp yeah that's where the joke should end it's a real place and I didn't realize it till this moment but I
found out that when other people twitch it makes me Twitch more so on the first day they put us in a circle with a hundred kids oh the kid next to me did a shoulder roll and my Tourette saw that and took that as a challenge and I threw him a head flop the girl next to him did a full body twitch and everybody saw that and all hell broke [Applause] loose that is fun I'm going to do something I said I would never do you wouldn't I would please no I'm going to throw your
voice [Laughter] what wow I through your voice it's gone it's gone it's over there wait wait wait wait wait listen listen I I think I hear it coming [Applause] back wh wh what [Applause] what I I have your voice and that means I have your voice wow understand in what world do you live in Rebecca where some 17-year-old dude to sh his house party like y'all not going to believe this I got Pino greo yeah got that greas y let's do shots of Shard and a let's start up book club yeah that's never happened right
you don't know a 17-year-old that owns a cork screw that's weird all right not one time in your entire life can you tell me a time where you've seen a 17-year-old dude be like this Mero pairs so well with the Doritos Locos Taco oh that's good it's just something about Zen finales in a Hot Pocket that is to die for my name is Jos I'm I'm from Nigeria Nigeria Nigeria he's KN back in all right what do you do I'm the fastest rapper in the world all right well good luck I hope this works out
yeah check it check it with the all I know ever since was that the whole was that the whole thing keep going I was I was getting to the best parts I was I was about to kill it why didn't you keep going keep it going go JS [Applause] go we finished I was getting I was about to hit you get to the best part I can teach you how to do Ryan Reynolds but first first you have to do Jim car's voice and in order to do Jim Carrey just imagine yourself as a giant
Canadian bird okay hi there judges ah I have some voices for [Laughter] you take that Canadian bird down to a sexy whisper and you have Ryan Reynolds hi there I have some voices for you Jed es I hope you enjoyed it that did sound like Ryan re oh my God okay here's how to do Seth Rogan's voice yeah take Santa Claus's laugh ho ho ho now imagine Santa Claus eats a different kind of [Laughter] [Applause] cookie this is a crazy job I just slay down chimneys and I deliver packages to kids eat their cookies now
you can do that ride of dolin [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh Yellowstone is a TV show about a cattle ranch ran by The Bodyguard himself Kevin Cosner yeah yeah a man a man right the writing is great the acting is excellent but the visuals of Yellowstone are amazing Yellowstone the park looks amazing aming so imagine my excitement when my buddy Eric invited me to his wedding where in Yellowstone are you coming oh I'm there I've been watching the show the second I landed guys I got it this place was so beautiful so Majestic I understood
Kevin cner shoot I became Kevin Cosner by the third day I was telling people to get off my land get off my land sure it was in the Hotel Courtyard but that's the way that I felt I couldn't stop saying go on get you go on get you go on get from that cucumber water sir you've had enough of our minerals so that's that's me sunny chadam yes and that's the crowd loving me and you're loving me aren't you aren you you're loving me that's my grammy I think we need to move on to the
performance now Sunny okay I'm sorry I'm sorry we got it we got it it's all good Sophia I want you to know I have a lady friend already so it's not it's not romantic my intentions but I I just wanted to meet you and say hi I'm sunny and I just I just respect you so much and you're thank you Sunny you're just a strong woman and can I say hi to my lady friend p no hey hey hey is there a song H hiy I love you who I love you yeah we don't have
time stand up P I don't want to see p where is P she's not here she's taking care of her mother she couldn't come to that wow okay I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses but not [Applause] yet just married makes it sound like they're already disappointed Isaac Newton died a virgin that means I have one up on History's Greatest scientific genius because I'm Not Dead [Applause] I went to the grocery store the sign said no food or drinks inside so I went [Applause] home I got a motorcycle I don't like telling people
I have a motorcycle because every time I tell someone they always got to tell me a story about how their friends crashed on a motorcycle you know like why do people have to be so negative I don't go up the pregnant women telling them my dad left you know what I'm saying so annoying so annoying I walked at my apartment one time right I walked at my apartment and my neighbor walked up to me she was like oh my God you got a motorcycle are you stars are you start you better be careful I got
in a car wreck the other day my car flipped eight times I'm looking to be Al blissed right yeah she black by the way everyone around us was like you know that was that is crazy that your car flip eight times you're alive you are blessed you know and I'm I'm over here thinking who the heck counted right like who is that Cal when their cars flipping in the air one like's going there my name is preacher thank you so much I appreciate it that's no we need more we need more some of my charts
I can't explain whether or true I just know from experience this is what's going to happen here's the locker room at my gym I am the blue dot I walk in I start to get changed the minute I get all my clothes off 12 guys walk in and this is where their lockers are that is so true it defies statistics sometimes statistics sound scary but it's not when you look at it from a different angle when I first got married I 44% of marriages end in divorce that's a scary number think about that 4 my
wife and I are like do we stand a chance think of the other side if 44% of marriages end in divorce you know what that means 56% of marriages end in death till death to us part those are the two ways that marriages end folks if if you're married enjoy it now it does not end well [Music] n [Music]