Belonging: A Neurological Imperative for Students

favor can you turn to someone sitting near you and say we're so excited that you are here okay okay okay okay you said that like I told you to this time I want you to say it like you actually mean it and you're excited that they're here with you pretend if you have to turn to the person sitting next to you and say we're so excited that you're here [Applause] all right now you could have been anywhere in the world or at the very least anywhere in a different session than this one but you've come

to a session that is about belonging and you are welcome in this space my name is Dr Barbara Logan Smith and I have the privilege the honor and the responsibility of working for Teach for America alumni friends staff yes yes yes yes we're everywhere including at this conference I lead our office of equity and belonging my job is about making sure that people have the kinds of lived experiences that set them up to thrive my job is about making sure that we're really paying attention to the outcomes so that the things that we want to

be true are actually true and that is not predictable who it is or is not true for that's what I do in my day job and I love it but in my spare time I find spaces like this to have conversations like this and today I'd like to present a now I am not a lawyer but I've watched some on TV and so I want to make a case to you that belonging is incredibly critically important to everything that you want anybody to learn to know or to be able to do but before we get

into that conversation we should probably get super clear about what I mean when I say belonging so in Doc school they teach you to create operational definitions so that we're not meaning different things when we say these words to each other when we say the word belonging I want to be super clear that what I'm talking about is a profound sense of being accepted in this place they want me here here as I am in this place I am welcomed I am valued I am important and people believe that my being here will make this

space better than it would have been without me that's what belonging is about now it touches on a several other parts you see some of those represented here it helps you get connected to your identity as an individual in this group of people it helps you to be clear about whether or not this is a place where you will be safe which is critically important into all the things that we want to be true if I don't feel safe my brain is not on and it's about purpose and connection but when students and and by

the way whether they are students in K12 students in higher ed or the students of Life who call themselves adults when students belong then and only then are you in a position to actually have them engage to learn to grow to become better stronger and smarter all those things that we want them to be so this is our definition but before we go too far down the road and into the case that I want to build I want to make the point that this is my premise I am arguing for the idea that belonging is

not a nice to have that you get to when you're done with reading that you get through when you're done with math instruction that you get to if you can get to it I am making the argument that belonging is a biological neurological sociological necessity and that without it our highest dreams and aspirations for ourselves and the children that we serve will never actually be achieved especially not for all of them all the time and so this is the case that I'm making it is a human need we're not the only people who have it

there are other species that require it bees wolves ants there other species that require that they be connected to other people in order to THV to survive or to thrive but frankly human beings from the earliest days of our existence we have to have other people helping us supporting us helping us to do whatever it is we're trying to do and be it is about social connection we are wired designed to be connected to other people we'll talk about that and we know that as a survival opportunity it's not likely to be available if we're

not actually in relationship and the best of a survival is available we're in the right kinds of relationships so let's talk about it to belong or not to belong that is the question so the question for you in this moment is have you ever had the experience of feeling like you didn't belong maybe it was at a place called school where people were clicked up and you couldn't find your group maybe it was at a place called home and those other siblings liked each other but they ain't really like you maybe it was somewhere in

the community where you were just the other every single time show a hands anybody ever been in that place where you just felt like for some reason there was just something about you that just wasn't going to be accepted there were way too many hands up because the reality is most of us have had that experience at some point in our lives and it's painful we'll talk more about that but I don't want to have you share that experience I'm actually going to invite you to share your experiences of feeling the experience of belonging now

this is a Choose Your Own Adventure because adults like to have opportunities to choose and so you can pick any one of these three things to talk about with someone sitting near you you can have a conversation about a time where you truly felt like you belonged this is my place these are my people or you can talk about a time when you or you not a time you can talk about how you distinguish between fitting in I'm getting myself in this space versus truly belonging or the third option is that you can talk about

the moments in your life when you really get to be your authentic self what is true about those moments when you just get to show up as you are in all of your complexities and contradictions and still feel loved and welcomed in the space you have three minutes to be in this conversation with each other so find a friend or two sitting near you pick a path and have a conversation when have you experienced that deep purposeful connection all right pulling you back pulling you back it's one of those moments when 3 minutes would have

been better if it was 10 but we don't have that kind of time all right so I'm going to start building my case there are three primary points that I would like to offer for why I am asserting and want you to conclude that belonging is a necessity the first part of the case that I'd like to present to you is that belonging is a biological imperative our literal bodies are designed with a need to be in community and in connection and to be in right relationship why would you say that Dr Barbara what are

you basing that on well our immune systems in a moment when all of you know there is a whole lot of stuff floating around in the world our immune systems perform better when we find ourselves feeling connected and in right relationship and when we don't the tax on them of not feeling connected actually interrupts our wellness and our ability to protect ourselves from the many things that are coming at us additionally stress any anybody familiar just me stress is a thing and when you feel like you are in right relationships I know her she knows

me she wants me here I want her here when we have that kind of dynamic what is true is that it actually decrease this stress but when I don't feel safe when I don't feel wanted my stress is on high literally my body is ready to guard against the attack that I know is com coming and so I can't even be well when I'm consistently in a place where I don't feel like I am wanted and welcome when belonging is not available to me Additionally you see that it interrupts the brain your brain is positioned

to grow and get better stronger and smarter it is how we are designed but that goes offline when we find ourselves in an experience that feels threatening and by the way feeling alone feeling isolated feeling rejected is the kind of constant present threat that interrupts all kinds of possibilities I don't know if we might have already figured out the cure for cancer if more people didn't feel like they didn't belong but I know continuing to have this many people feeling like they don't isn't helping us advance that objective I don't know if we'd be in

a place where we would have figured out what to do about poverty if more people felt like they belonged and were connected and working together to solve the problem but I know we're not going to get there if we continue to have the mental health rates that we have right now which are tied to people feeling like they don't belong and like they don't matter and like nobody cares additionally anybody have trouble with getting good rest I slept but I am not rested anybody else have that experience check on your belonging because if you're not

feeling in right relationship you're not likely to be getting good rest that night because you don't lay down feeling un stressed notice how these things are intersecting you lay down stressed and worried about what the next day will bring and that also interrupts your Wellness cardiovascular health blood pressure insulin spikes that is all connected to whether or not we feel like we are where we should be and where we are cared for and finally the folks who live the longest I'm obsessed with blue zones anybody else there are these places where people who live to

be 100 without major damage disease defects are like doing they're thriving one of the pieces of that research is you live a long time when you have great relationships and people who care about you and who you care about so here's my argument that it is a biological imperative but it's not just the biology go deeper into the body and there's something else to know neurologically our brains are actually designed to require connection now this slide is for my science people where are my science lovers in the room that are like but what's the proof

though this this is that now where are my non-science people in the room good everybody belongs in this space all you need to know if you are not now devouring that and checking it against your own lexicon of what the brain is and does all you need to know is that we function better when we are connected in in right relationship when we feel like we belong we function better there are parts part of our brain that are actually designed to respond to threat and isolation and rejection and fear and worry and they turn on

and as they turn on the prefrontal cortex turns off oh no I can't play the part of your brain that actually does deep cognition the part of your brain that actually thinks B big deep big thoughts like that's not even available to you when you don't feel like you're safe because the part of your brain that gets triggered is the part that says are we fighting are we fighting are we free what are we doing how are we protecting ourselves and all kinds of other pieces here again I'm not going to go through every one

I just want you to know there is a neurological argument we are wired in such a way that our bodies respond when we feel like we're in a safe place and they respond when they don't when you don't feel like you're in a safe place last thing I'll point out on this slide we talk a lot about things like uh dopamine and serotonin and oxytocin like all of that stuff the brain produces that when we feel like we're going to be in the right kinds of relationships when we feel like we're in a place that

is trusted when we feel like we're getting the right cues the brain is also responsive to that so I make the argument that bi bi biologically neurologically what we are are people who actually need to be in relationship and in connection it's not a nice to have it's a necessity last part of my argument I want to make the case that it's also a sociological imperative because again human beings depend on other human beings to thrive to function and so when it comes to this in order to survive in this place you actually have to

be in the kinds of relationships that allow you to have proper social interactions you have to be in the kind of place that helps you understand who am I and who am I in relationship to this group that I'm a part of if you want to have people learning and leading and thriving they have to understand how to acquire social capital and with that Capital they also then get an opportunity to understand how does status and recognition work how do I get to be seen and validated how do I get to feel like I am

a worthy part of this community and this community cares about me socially the complexity of the world that we live in requires that I actually be networked that I be in the kinds of relationships that sustain me and that allow me to flourish so it is not this thing that would be nice if we could get around to it it it is the thing that without it we're not going to get to where we're trying to go this is the case that I'm making but I want to add one more thing to it I want

you to understand that they have done studies my science people can confirm they have done studies where they have realized that when you feel socially rejected it shows up the same way as a migraine physical pain and the pain of rejection manifest in the same places in the brain when they do scans so it's not this idea that maybe it doesn't feel good to not belong it actually hurts and it hurts hard to find yourself in a place where you don't belong and people don't value you and you don't feel validated or welcomed there's the

emotional impact of that there's the neurological response of that and there's the shift in how we behave and all of those things work together one impacting the other one impacting the other so I'm making this case that it is not a nice to have it is a necessity I want you to talk to people sitting next to you about the degree to which you agree with the argument that I'm making if you were on the jury would you be voting in alignment with my assertion that belonging is not this thing we should do if we

can get around to it when everything else is done but that in fact belonging is necessary have a conversation with folks near you and my wining this argument or not so much if you are someone who came into this room already knowing and understanding belonging is essential to all of our highest hopes and dreams show of hands if you are now beginning to maybe be swayed to this notion to this idea that belonging is a necessity show of hands yeah like Les's no I knew already is what y'all wanted to say okay so you knew

already cool so then let's talk about how we do it what does that look like so so we've got nineish minutes left and I want to do a couple different things with that time I want to make sure that you have the answer to the question that I used to ask when I went to professional development as a teacher and that is yeah but what do you want me to do on Monday so I when to answer that question I also want to make sure you have some of the evidence so that you're not leaving

here saying but but Barbara has said because they don't know me and that's not going to work right so we'll we'll get clear about like some of the actual research and for those of you that have been dently trying and missing the slides the QR code is here you can have the slides okay so you'll have a chance to have that for folks who are also here because you're like yeah yeah she's cooler whatever but I want the credit we also have the code for that so all of that is coming in the next 8ish

minutes all right so let's get into it when it comes to creating a space where people actually feel like they belong part of what you have to do is create real room for psychological safety one of the things that you do to create that is to just be super clear that wherever people are entering from is okay if they are entering from a place where they are excited about everything that is going on in the world right now that's okay if they are entering from a place of being in despair confused upset hurt that is

also okay because in this space what we're going to do is make it okay for all of us to interact together to do something important together that we could not do by ourselves but that doesn't happen if you don't welcome folks in from the very beginning with an understanding that however they are entering whatever their identities whatever their backgrounds and experiences there is room for all of it here because in this place part two we're going to respect every person who enters understanding that some of the things about who they are and how they're showing

up weren't about them or their fault understanding that some of the things about who they are and how they're showing up they love dearly and want other people to see and celebrate and love that too but understanding there's a way for us to be here where all of it can create space for us to build something together and every person in this space to feel like they are cared for and they are going to be safe here and another part of this is really designing your learning experiences being thoughtful I'm not the one who made

sure that there was an interpreter in this space but someone is making sure that everyone has access to the conversation how are you being thoughtful about the folks who are visual Learners the folks who have different needs as they're entering into that space how are you considering that and making that a part of everything you designed and how are you creating the question to say uh what did I miss what what could have been available that actually would have made this better for you and staying open to the idea that as great as you are

Perfection is not a human characteristic and it's only when we continue to keep checking with with each other that we actually build spaces that are the safest as they can be warning signs the other thing that you need to do is you need to watch for this stuff in your environments to what degree do people feel isolated alone uncared for things to watch for is who's actually literally isolating themselves every time there's a conversation they're alone they're never grouping up they don't seem to have friends who is that know who that is and understand why

that is so you can intervene if necessary the other thing you want to do is watch for what people are saying to themselves when people don't feel like they belong they very often engage in super negative selft talk and they'll do it to themselves but they'll actually verbalize it so be listening for that and intervening watch for increased anxiety there are all kinds of indicators that there's anxiety happening so be looking for that and then finally recognize that aggression is another thing that spikes when people feel isolated or feel rejected some of that aggression we

know to look for because it's physical violence I'm hitting or hurting someone else but often the ones we miss are the places where people are having the vi the aggression turned inward so this is what cutting starts to look like this is what putting myself in precarious situation starts to look like this is where you start to see me doing things like drugs or alcohol that hurt me but it's actually just aggression turned inward from the the idea that I just don't belong any place be on the lookout for these warning signs they are always

there we're just not always looking so I want to tell you about one of my experiences way back in the 1900s I used to teach in Milwaukee Public Schools I taught fifth grade I taught computers K to five I did Title One I did um we don't know who should do it make Barbara do it like I had that job and then I became an assistant principal and this young man named Shaquille gave me a run for every dollar I would ever earn in my life Shaquille was in third grade and Shaquille spent more time

in my office and in in school suspension and actually suspended then he spent in class shail was super behind in Reading come to find out that was part of the story and he was just always in trouble I I didn't know any better at the time I referred to him as one of my frequent flyers I'm better now but I like had this phrase for like these kids who were always showing up and always in he'd come back from suspension saying you going to suspend me today I'm like dude you just got back he's like

yeah but we got these non-negotiables so when I punch him you going to let me go and I'm like why are you so eager to not be here what is that about and part of what I started investigating and trying to understand is like what is going on with Shaquille so part of it was that he was not doing well at learning how to read and Shaquille had decided he would do whatever he had to do knew to get as far away from reading class as possible throw a chair punch a teacher it didn't matter

he didn't belong in that space and he was going to get himself safely out of that space Shaquille also even though he was oven from this community had only ever gone to this school was always like connected to these kids he felt deeply disconnected from those kids and when I started investigating that further part of what I realized was no he wasn't on the basketball team he got put off no he didn't get to go to after school activities got kicked out and also I told you he wasn't in class so he's like not connected

to these kids when he comes in they can read he can't they tease him he messes with them like there was this really vicious cycle that was happening and the more that I thought about it I'm like well but how would I behave in a place where I felt like nobody wanted me in a place that was reminding me that I was not as smart as the rest of the kids in fact maybe I was dumb why why would I want to be in a place like that and so I started doing a couple different

things with Shaquille one anytime he was suspended he had to make up three reading lessons with me I taught reading I taught reading in a situation where my kids were all two years behind and so I knew how to catch kids up with reading so he knew you get suspended for three days you owe Miss Logan three reading lessons and so he now was starting to have this experience that he belonged to me and to reading and that shifted how he was showing up in his classroom we also started a program where we said any

kids who have not been doing well consistently those frequent flyers we're going to create a very different program for them that recognizes every time they get it right because we're so hyperfocused on every time they get it wrong we also started saying to Shaquille you belong in this classroom and we're going to create a buddy situation between you and two other students so you have some people that are your people in this room so you feel better when you're in this room and many other things but I'm down to one minute so what I'm offering

you is to consider your own environment this is a set of questions you can ask these but the real question is what is the level of isolation that you are currently tolerating in your place how frequently do you allow for people to feel disconnected disjointed discombobulated while asking them to perform at the highest levels when you do belonging work well the right things go up and the wrong things go down what goes up people are better overall generally they're greater well-being what goes up what goes up is you got stronger connections Shaquille and I were

tight he went from hating me to being excited to see and connect with me and what goes down anxiety goes down aggression goes down the attendance problems go down when you actually are doing this work well and on purpose there's evidence and different practices that you can use some of those are listed here like cross AG tutoring which we also did with Shaquille we're going to take a student who's in eighth grade pair them up with you that's your buddy now the stigma of they can do it and you can is released and you can

actually just build a relationship what do you do on Monday one of the things you do is you remember that connection has to come before content what do you do on Monday one of the things you do is you remember that Community is the antidote to the chaos many of us are experiencing right now what do you do on Monday you you lead with empathy and you learn with Grace being who you're calling your students to be not making it a directive but making it the way we all move when we're together if you do

these things you will actually create greater belonging and if you create greater belonging you'll be on your way to your highest aspirations I'm so grateful that you came to this space it's better because you were here I hope you have a fantastic conference here are the things that I told you in terms of citations and there is the QR code my pleasure and after this thank you all here's the code that you need for the credit I hope you have a great conference thanks for coming everybody that's it one minute over