Now, what needs to be said is that this is the great achievement, because within this practice, we create an environment where the person can, in a safe way and supported by the herd, look at their personal issues; and because of that, they are now a little more available to look. Our work is in service to the person's family field. It is not in our service.
So, in what way does the field want to speak through these phrases? This is a great insight, right? How can I be the voice of this system, whether it is what needs to be seen in this system, or what needs to be seen in this person's biographical history that isn't being seen.
So, in what way can I be a spokesperson for this family system? It is through this silence of who Guto the facilitator is, right, of who I am as a helper. And by tethering myself to what is being shown and what is being brought forth from this intuition within the field in service to this system.
It is standing beside the system, it is serving the system, right ? Even if it means generating a bad conscience, as we call it, right? What is a bad conscience?
A bad conscience is everything that threatens our belonging to a family system or a group . So, everything that threatens my belonging generates a bad conscience in me, generates guilt, a feeling of guilt , okay? And everything that confirms my belonging, that is, what makes me act the same as the group to which I belong , whether it be my family system, or a group, or an organization to which I belong, all of this that makes me continue perpetuating the way this group has functioned since before me, is an action of good conscience and generates innocence for me.
So, let's take an extreme case. In a family of abusers, those who do not abuse may feel guilt, because it threatens their belonging to a family system that functions in a certain way, right? But it is a good guilt.
It is the guilt that the adult assumes for doing things differently. Doing things differently generates guilt. Yes.
And acting with a good conscience is what gives me a feeling of innocence, at least before this family system. If in a family of people who, let's say, fight over inheritance for many, many generations. Fighting over inheritance, even if it may hurt those involved with me in this dynamic, can generate innocence internally at an intrapsychic level, a systemic level, right?
This can give me a feeling of innocence. Why? Well, because I'm doing the same as my predecessors, right?
While giving up fighting for an inheritance, but seeking to resolve inheritances in another way, whether from a systemic perspective or in a constellation with horses, resolving the inheritance can make me feel guilty. Why? Because in the eyes of my family system, I threaten my belonging.
So, when I bring a liberation phrase that is in service of the system, it can even be to break a pattern, it can even be to do things differently, but it is in service of the healing of that system. Because perpetuating that pattern only generates a dire destiny for those who are perpetuating the pattern. Doing things differently, even if it goes against what the system is used to or against the legacy that is being passed down.
It goes in favor of the system in terms of healing, because our entire family system heals when we heal. All the stories of our ancestors are released because their outcome worked out when I succeed. All the facing of challenges that my ancestors went through is validated when I have well-being in my life.
So this is also a way of being in favor of the system. This is the idea that I bring behind the liberation phrases, right? And then our personal repertoire, something that always helps me a lot to find a way to bring what I want to bring to this person, because it is information the field gave me, right?
And to create a liberation phrase that helps this person more, it is to truly feel it in myself. And often I perceive this even within my own personal history, because at some point the story of everyone who works with me touches me. It's not for nothing, it's not by chance that the wisdom of life brought this person to work on the theme of constellation with me.
So I seek to see where this touches my field, my history. And then this gives me an extra repertoire to bring a liberation phrase, which is often a phrase that I say or would like to say or am able to say to this person within my personal history that I deliver to this person, right? Of course the focus is on them, right?
But often I will find this consonance of themes and by perceiving how much this touches me, I am able to broaden my perspective and at the same time bring with more essence what the person can say. This is a way that I act, you know, to bring in a phrase of release. I will seek to bring that into my own personal history .
I will look at those involved in this person's story without judgment. And if they speak ill of their father or mother, in my heart I place the father and mother on a pedestal because without their life, this person wouldn't be here in front of me doing a constellation. So I already set that, eh, regardless of the stories, right?
After all, if the solution were in people's stories, they wouldn't be bringing these stories here. Now, the story usually serves to justify the problem, right? So, as a rule, phrases of release will always be phrases that place us in alignment with systemic laws, right?
So, where the hierarchy is being broken, it puts things in order. For example, I am small and you are big in relation to ancestors or an older brother. Anyway, I am smaller than you, right?
Eh, I come after you. Or if it is in relation to this order within relationships, I am only the second, I am only the third, right? This puts things in order.
Eh, phrases of release in relation to. . .
or let's add one more phrase of release here that is, that is very interesting for when this happens a lot. Eh, there are, there is a dynamic very present in many families, which is the younger sibling standing out more in terms of prosperity, happiness, taking life more easily than the older siblings. This can lead to the older sibling dishonoring this strength of the younger sibling, but this is, in fact, a dishonor to oneself , because the younger sibling can only stand out this way because the older siblings handled the hard stuff, you understand?
So, eh, a phrase that generally breaks this dynamic of conflict between an older sibling and the success of a younger sibling. And not that it is a rule, but it often happens. Eh, through your success, I see that it worked out, the older sibling says to the younger sibling.
And if it is, for example, this same phrase of realignment of the system's hierarchy, right, of those who came before, eh, from a younger sibling to an older sibling, something that opens up a lot of space is thanks to what you upheld, I can prosper today. Or thanks to what you uphold, I am. Thanks to you , my success.
This type of phrase brings honor to those who came before, who as a rule teach parents how to be parents so they can be better parents to those who come after. A theme I often constellate, which has come to me many times and has to do with imbalance , is when a person uh does not honor a previous relationship in order to move on to a next relationship. And this and this honor is a debt.
This recognition of how much I learn in each relationship I have, if it doesn't happen, becomes a debt of mine to that person. So, the extent to which I can be happy today in the relationship I have now, I owe to previous relationships, where I learned something, right? So, this recognition towards the previous relationship, right, uh, we can bring it through phrases.
Here I am giving an example precisely of what I said I don't do in the field, which is to bring ready-made phrases, but I am just bringing you examples of phrases for you to imagine this situation. For example, when in this theme of previous relationships it was with someone with whom a child was conceived, right? Now I recognize you as the woman who made me a father.
Now I recognize that with you I had my first family nucleus, even if, for example, it was a case of losing a child while still in intrauterine life, right? Uh, that that constituted my first family there. So, this is a theme of recognition and one that brings balance to a relationship.
