good morning Dwayne here Dry Creek regular school um sitting here in the tack shed today and got a fire back in the wood stove you'd think it's May 5th you'd think those days would be about over but they're not it's chilly out there this morning there's a strong wind blowing and so I'm going set in here next to the fire and and uh have me some coffee and have a cigar this is a promo Lot number 23 EST the Le Nicaragua I never had one before but um one of the students this week we just
finished up our first week of class for the year and one of the students brought some cigars and he gave me a couple of these and and I'm really liking them um if you were to ask me Dwayne name one thing that has helped make you a better Horseman uh I have to say one of the things is Regret regret Dwayne what is one of the things that has made you a better human being to your fellow man there's a lot of things but one of the things I'd have to say is Regret you know
I look back at horses I had 20 25 years ago when I didn't know anything and I didn't have the temperament that I have today and I look looked back and I got this horse and I remember where this horse was and I remember however unintentionally however non-m maliciously um I remember to where I took that horse and I look back at that today and there's a tinge of regret I did not put that horse on the best path possible not deliberately but just out of ignorance and youth and impatience and I regret that the
definition of regret is a disappointment or a sadness uh over something that you've done in the past basically that's the definition um I look back over the years and uh you know so it I just turned 57 and you know so there's enough years now to look back at and I look at relationships I've had friends and and family and you know everything and and I look at how I responded to this person and how I reacted to this person and what I did with this person and and I have regrets I wished I hadn't
done that wish that hadn't turned out that way there's a trend going on at least in this country maybe in other countries I don't know today with this self-help movement where people say no regrets no regrets well let me let me tell you okay if we were sitting out here some of us sitting around the fire like we do every week here at the school and everybody just talking and telling stories and catching up and just and and you're one of those people you speak up and say I have no regrets in my life because
everything that happened in the past made me who I am today I wouldn't say anything I wouldn't step in and say anything but I'm going to just let you know right now you would be placed in a book inside of me your name would be written down a book of a person that I will never respect and that I will surely never trust regret is not about us now stop and listen to me okay regret is not about you regret is a safety Mech ISM for those around us if we feel regret for how we
hurt somebody else based on decisions that we made we are less likely to hurt them again in the same way we are less likely to hurt somebody else in the same way that we hurt that person we are less likely to make the same approach to our horse uh we saw it didn't work we saw that it didn't put them on a good path and we're like man I wished I had done that different that's regret if you go through life with an attitude of No Regrets for anything I've done in life that is the
attitude of a sociopath or a psychopath someone who has no empathy for other life around them be it man or animal and so we need we need to embrace our regrets I know that's very Against the Grain that's very swimming Upstream against attitudes and philosophies today I don't care I don't care people who say I have no regrets in life they end up being the most arrogant people because the regrets that you have a regret for what you intentionally or unintentionally caused somebody else your regrets not about you I regret that I hurt that person
I was young I was ignorant I didn't know how to um I didn't know how to go through some of this this new adulting thing I didn't know how to handle it and so I handled it like this and I look back now from a place of experience and a place of maturity and a place of um sadness and I look back and I say I wish I had been been wiser I wish I had been gentler I wish I had been more experienced I wish I had not hurt that person that way however unintentional
it was we need regrets okay and uh this is I'm GNA give my well this is all my opinion I'm going to give my opinion here I think a lot of these especially men out there who are motivators uh for young men I I think they're borderline Psychopaths I think some of them are border borderline sociopaths and my understanding is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath a sociopath is made that way by society and a psychopath is born that way I don't know I'm not educated like that but people who are I'm so
much about me I have no empathy for you I don't care about you and and they push this especially in young men like you've been hurt you know you've been hurt from your dating life been hurt by women and hurt by relationships and hurt by jobs you need to just think about yourself and you just need to go through life like a big giant hammer smashing through glass and and the devil take the H most and they just will put a bullet in your head and let you die like a dog because all you're going
to become is a snapping dog that's going to snap at anybody you don't know if they're reaching out to pet you or smack you but you go through life a person that's just snapping just a snapping dog and you're not fit for society if you become that if you let them turn you into that I can do whatever I want and if it makes me better I have no regrets well it's not about you what are you doing to those in your life around you what kind of tail spin are you sending their life into
you hate what people have done to you you hate what people have turned you into are you going to let that hate of them turn you into the same thing someone who has no empathy someone who has no regret someone who look looks back at poor decisions without any tinge of regret of disappointment in what you accomplished of sorrow Oh you can't do that all right a man a man regrets poor choices a rock doesn't and by a rock I don't mean this metaphor that I mean a stinking Stone I mean an actual stinking Stone
on the ground a block of wood okay okay an inanimate unliving unthinking unfeeling object doesn't feel anything does not feel empathy does not feel regret does doesn't there it's just this nonsense this nonsense on the internet today that's being spewed out that it's all about you I've talked about this before you are an empty you are an empty pointless thoughtless nothing if you're life and your feelings and your view of the past is only seen through the Periscope of you of you and that's where this whole no regrets come in you dang sure better have
regrets or you ain't going to be worth a hill of beans as a human being okay you cannot grow you cannot mature you cannot get better you can't become anything of value to yourself or to anyone else if you shut the door to regrets now you don't let regrets drag you down you don't let them destroy you all right I've talked about this before you don't let the man that you used to be destroy the man that you are today or the man that you're trying to be today all right but balanced regret is what
helps you become a better man unbalanced guilt is what destroys you unbalanced guilt of who you were and what you were in the past or today destroys you balanced open eyed thoughtful regret of poor decisions you made in the past is what helps you build and become better and become stronger that is that check valve that helps you not make that decision again that helps you not lose your temper that horse again that helps you not uh thoughtlessly cruy hurt that person again that helps you not selfishly do whatever okay regret balanced regret is necessary
unbalanced guilt will destroy you that's not what I'm talking about okay the more listen listen the more you grow the more you mature the less self-centered you are the more things you will see in the past past that you will regret if you have no regrets you have no growth you have no growth you say Dwayne I I'm looking back and I'm seeing more and more things in my life that I'm like man I'm kind of embarrassed I'm kind of sad I wished I hadn't done it that means you're growing that means you're seeing more
things that this is not good behavior this is not how a good human being acts this is not how we treat other people this is not how we treat animals this is not how we behave like this and you didn't feel regret about it before because you hadn't grown enough to realize that that was like really cheap really low very selfish very arrogant Behavior the umbler you get the umbler you get the more you understand the more you understand the more you regret but at the same time you keep that balance you're like man I
wish I hadn't done that I wish I knew better back then that's healthy there's nothing wrong with that but you keep controlling you say but I'm not back there now and I'm not going to do that anymore and that's the person I was but that's not the person who I am today and so you don't let crushing guilt destroy you but you don't let a lack of regret destroy you on the other end of the spectrum okay so I just this this subject this thought has been on my mind for a long time now and
um so I just I felt you know it was time it was time to address this okay um it was time to uh kind of sit down and say hey let's let's take a look at this this attitude this um this self view that so many people are taking up today that is so arrogant and so self-centered and so destructive okay all right so anyhow I hope that maybe clarified a little bit helped you a little bit opened your eyes a little bit and uh so and I hope the wind dies down out here we
can um get a little bit done outside so we just finished today is May 5th I think yes May 5th so this week we finished our very first week of class for this year and today's the 5th it's Sunday tomorrow we have the this next week's class they start rolling in and so we begin the second week we're looking forward to it and we will keep you guys up to date as we go along with the school and then when we get um next year we haven't even started for next year booking or anything but
when we get that figured out and hammered out with schedule and everything we'll let you know we'll get it up on the website okay until then be logical be reasonable be safe have fun and be humble and be humble and we'll talk to you guys next time
