Unemployed Dad Stole My $9000 College Scholarship Money to Pay for a Hotel, Then Lied About It...

unemployed dad stole my $9,000 college scholarship money to pay for a hotel then lied about it for months now threatened to Kay himself when I confronted him for context I am currently a college freshman I am on a full ride to my university every semester I get a check sent to my house to pay off my housing costs which is about $99,000 my unemployed father got evicted for my old address because he wasn't paying rent so my family started living in a hotel I was questioning how they were paying for the hotel considering it was

$150 a night turns out my father used my college check to cash out and pay for the hotel for 2 months I begged him to pay off my college housing cost for 2 months straight he lied to me telling me that it was attached to some funds which were hard to get out very confusing but keep in mind I have absolutely zero financial literacy and my father never went into depth I brushed it off hoping that everything would work for the best my college housing gave my father a deadline to pay off housing costs November

1st I was stressed for 2 months unable to eat well sleep socialize Etc my dad doesn't pay it off I may or may not have to drop out when the deadline hit I called my dad and asked him why he hadn't paid off my housing costs he finally revealed that he used the check on the hotel we were living in I was furious and I started interrogating him like a prosecutor he blamed the family for being responsible for using my college money not himself and also blamed me he let me allowance money for 2 months

telling me that it was from my relatives when it was actually for my $9,000 housing check I asked him why he would do this and he said that he didn't want to stress me out I cried telling him I worked way too hard in high school for me to drop out I said that he owed me an apology three times over the phone but he refused because he thought he had done nothing wrong since he was providing for the family I asked him again and he said sorry in a mocking voice I told him that

he was full of [ __ ] and he started saying that he wants to put a gun to his head and kill himself and it will all be on me this is not the first time he has done that I told him to do it and I hung up my mom called me and I informed her about the situation she told me to apologize to my dad and I told her as psychotic as I may sound I have no remorse especially after what he did my mom threatened to disown me but I somehow mended things

with them for 3 weeks it is currently Thanksgiving break and my father still didn't pay off my check and he said that he would get money Saturday to pay it off my mom told me again to apologize to him after he paid my housing costs and I said I would avoid conflict but I think I'm way too stubborn to apologize especially because I genuinely think I have nothing to be sorry for my dad never fully apologized and made a joke out of me to the family comments where op has replied depressed with whose name was

on the check sounds like fraud to me if your name is on that check oop I'm honestly not sure because I never physically saw the check all I know was that it was mailed to my old address and my neighbor gave the check to my father who proceeded to cash it out north conclusion 331 is this your first check if not what was the name in the old checks oop yes this is my very first check the next one is coming this January to my old address I told my father if he didn't give it

to me in January I would report him and he said he would give it to to me although I don't completely trust him mainly because he did something similar to my older sister resulting in her dropping out I have a lot of Leverage on him expression little contact the office that sent out the check to see what name they put on the check and on the envelope to send to you if he opened your mail that's a crime and if he cashed a check with your name on it that's also a crime also get a

PO box and get the next one sent there oop there's also a huge part that I left out regarding this situation my mother is an illegal immigrant and if my dad goes to jail or gets charged then she would have to go back to her country I did threaten my dad with this but my mother said that she would flat out toown me if I did I also have little siblings too so I would not like for them to have to take the fall for this I think I will contact the school and ask them

to put the mail somewhere safer probably my dorm address update one first and foremost immediately after this happened I managed to get a separate debit card without my parents knowing I don't have a job now but I'm looking to get one later on in the semester I didn't go to the financial aid center because my dad somehow managed to pay me back I'm going under the assumption that it's through my grandmother's Social Security checks last December after weeks of calling my father to make up for my scholarship money and pay me back he finally sent

me a check for $9,000 the check came in my dorm mail around midnight I was asleep by then and my dad was spamm calling my phone to tell me it was in the mail I didn't call him back until 1: in the afternoon because I had an exam that day he started cursing at me telling me how he couldn't sleep all night because I didn't answer my phone I talked back and said the stress you put me through for 3 months by lying about my scholarship ship check is nothing compared to the stress you went

through for a day he started insulting me in every way possible telling me that I was spoiled I swore back saying are you effing serious and he hung up moments later my dad made my mom call me because he didn't want to argue with me she screamed at me saying that I should always have respect for him as a father and that I should apologize for swearing I said that yes I did swear at him but he did too calling me bunch of slurs and whatnot she also accused me of purposely ignoring them when I

made it clear several times that I was asleep and I had an exam at 9: in the morning hence not calling them at midnight I told her that we shouldn't even have this talk because he was clearly in the wrong in this entire situation and every other kid would have gone to the financial aid center and my dad would have gotten in trouble my mom misunderstood me for saying that I was going to report my dad she had a mental breakdown and hung up moments later my dad called and told me to go ahead and

report him because I would be going to jail instead of him because he sent me some of the money from the check which is [ __ ] I called him out on his [ __ ] and he said that he was permanently severing ties so I could learn my lesson he hung up I didn't call them for a week until I realized that I didn't have a place to stay for winter break my dorm closed I swallowed my pride and called them back to apologize they said they'll accept me back to the family this honestly

still keeps me up at night but I literally didn't have a choice but to stay with them over break over break they've noticed that I'm way more cold and distant towards them and they still wonder why luckily I got the $9,000 check from my University to pay for this semester's housing fees the best thing that came out of this is that I ended up reconnecting with my estranged sister f25 long story short my father financially abused my sister for years maxing out her credit cards and leaving her $220,000 in debt they cut all ties a

year ago after my sister started dating a guy they didn't approve of when I was on good terms with them they painted her as the bad guy telling me that she betrayed them by choosing her boyfriend over the entire family I also didn't know that my dad financially abused her turns out she was in the same situation I was in and ended up dropping out because my dad didn't let her take out a student loan I talked to my sister and she said that she was honestly glad that she severed ties with them because she's

finally financially independent even if she's not financially stable we're closer than ever and I probably consider her as a shoulder to lean on mentally I'm really not doing well I'm generally stoic but this is taking a hard emotional toll on me because my family was my world before College I always knew my father was insane but my mother was my ride or die I told her everything I helped her through her marital problems she told me everything and the fact that she chose my abusive unemployed father the man that she always talked about wanting to

divorce over her daughter is heartbreaking she still expects me to be her armchair therapist and she told me she wants me to act like how I did before I told her over break that no matter what she does she will never mend back the trust I had for her then and my father despite his flaws I never expected him to use my check he put such a huge emphasis on education and told me he wanted me to have the life he never had and knowing he would sacrifice my education just so he could live in

a fancy $150 hotel is very disheartening recently I've been very isolated I still talked to a few people my grades are falling and I haven't been eating or sleeping well maybe this situation should be a wakeup call for me but I've come to the point where I'm completely apathetic about everything I refrain from drugs thankfully but even so I feel like my life is on autopilot comments where op has replied me zero Mio the best thing you can do for yourself is to complete your education stay focused on school and strive to do your best

make friends and maintain contact with your sister also seek out counseling at your school they can help you deal with your family issues old afternoon 2459 lock your credit get a PO Box make sure you have your legal documents Melissa 3670 you can order a birth certificate from the state you were born in if you have that and a license you can go to the Social Security office and get your SS card oop if my Dad gives me my legal documents update two my dad stole my college scholarship money months ago now he's not getting

a single penny from me as you may or may not know I made two posts several months ago about my father using up my college money I also want to clear up some confusion about the posts my parents are religiously married through the Catholic church in another country but they never got legally married because my dad doesn't want my mother to get a green card and yes in some colleges like mine the broken education system in America still use checks but most people use direct deposit I am glad to say that he no longer has

access to my finances and I am in low contact with him thanks to the advice of this subreddit I got my social security card and other documents months before I left for college I I also managed to get my first job I distanced myself from my parents and I took a lot of time to reflect on them and their actions they also distanced themselves from me after I finally put my foot down and refused to give them financial assistance they said that I was self-absorbed and once again my father told me he would kill himself

if I didn't help him and this time instead of telling him to off himself I told him that's a decision he would make and I can't be responsible for it I realized no matter what I do they'll never change they will always be the type of people to financially leech off of others using their suicide threats and weap izing self bitty but they're too emotionally stunted to see The Faults of that their psyche is so twisted and I spent a lot of time mourning for the parents I never had they were never meant to be

parents but they're also people sometimes people like them exist as for my mother she completely turned her back on me and said that I was a TV villain for not giving my father the money he deserved for raising me and my siblings I told her he was never emotionally present as a father and neither was she not just from the suicide threats but also by being a threat to our well-being she used to treat me as a friend and therapist but rarely as a daughter she used me to complain about the emotional and mental abuse

my dad inflicted on her but at the same time she was also the person to turn her back on me in a blink of an eye if it meant protecting my father's feelings and making him happy sometimes she went as far as to attack me or my siblings if we did anything to make him crossed I guess I still have a lot of pity for her considering that she is an illegal immigrant in an abusive situation but it doesn't outweigh the damage it was impossible to communicate with her since he was her own little world

I don't think she really loved me or saw me as a person or a child just an outlet for her emotional dysfunction recently my mother called me and lied about my dad being ill so they could rake a couple of bucks from me again I told them to find their own source of money and hung up I check up on my little brothers every now and then they're currently still living in the hotel while their physical safety isn't harmed I still struggle with the guilt of leaving them behind and I'm unclear on what the future

holds for them this past year I learned what it meant to be independent not just financially but to be free from the mental control of them and making those decisions for myself needless to say I'm happier I'm surrounded with good and caring people my grades aren't great but better and I'm finally in a good place right now in the end everything's going to be all right and even if it's not it's not the end comments where op has replied Bor slch child any chance of getting the money back oop I got some of it back

through a family friend I'm working my ass off to make up for the remaining sum of money disclosing Nina 1,876 stop feeling guilty you are the child if anything be embarrassed that your parents are pathetic and even that's nothing to be embarrassed about cocoa almonds Rock good for you it takes a lot of strength to do what you're doing a lot I know things are tough right now but you've got the Outlook and strengths to dig in and build a successful life I hope your younger siblings have the same fortitude you do you can try

to help them in the future but if they're not willing to help themselves they could turn into your parents and drain you dry stay vigilant good luck and keep us updated oop my biggest fear in the future is that my parents will use my younger siblings for their benefit and leech off of them from what I know that's pretty much still happening with my older siblings next story son's girlfriend called to say she's going to propose but my son already has a ring and plans to propose first and I'm the only one who knows both

Secrets my daughter-in-law a pediatrician named Lexi called me today with the most wonderful news she intends to propose to my son Lexi is such a sweet hardworking thoughtful no-nonsense woman and my son always remarks on how loved and respected he Feels by her I have never seen him happier it warms my heart to see him so serious with someone after all these years she is truly the daughter I have always dreamed of I raised my son as a single mother for 29 years and had to be both mom and dad to him his father walked

out after his birth seeing him so deeply in love and respected by someone as amazing as Lexi fills me with pride and joy I get to be girly with her and share my love of jewelry which I plan to leave entirely to her the entire family adores her and they all excited to meet her I already call her my daughter-in-law and consider her part of the family little does she know that my son has already bought her a ring and plans to propose during her birthday vacation in September I am so happy for them I

cannot wait to see their Futures develop as spouses and eventually as parents when the time comes my heart is overflowing with happiness and excitement for their journey ahead comments where op has replied Backwoods Diva we are now all shipping them and cannot wait for updates please try and find out the information of when she is doing it and tell him so he can make sure her ring is there too she's putting in that work she should show off offer bling from him to LOL oop she actually told me how she is proposing it's also during

the birthday vacation she said she is creating a two chapter book with custom art of all their firsts in chapter 1 and the proposal in ring in Chapter 2 she is very creative fourth deg Greek Knight this is such a wonderful story I hope your son and future daughter-in-law have many many happy years together as a dad I cannot understand how a dad can walk out on his own flesh and blood when my son was born I got the answer that every person seeks what is the purpose of my life to me was being this

kid's daddy congrats to all of you oop I was his third marriage he had two children in his second the child's support was bleeding him dry didn't want to be cruel and asked for the minimum support supported my son through uni law school and his Masters all by myself update 1 June 26 2024 my son Shawn recently reached out to me with a request he asked if I could take Lexi ring shopping with me since I'm in the process of Designing a new ring for myself he thought it would be the perfect opportunity for Le

to see different styles and find her ideal ring Shawn shared with me that Lexi prefers something simple and not overly flashy she told him anything bigger than two carrots is for ego I would just like a simple solitire under two carrots with no fancy band and a meaningful engraving while Shawn being a successful environmental attorney wanted to splurge on something beautiful and expensive for Lexi her preferences are clear a little backstory when they were dating and Shawn was struggling to land a big law job Lexi supported him without a complaint She always told him if

I was in my residency and you had your big job you do the same we just have to be patient it will come and one day we will laugh about it at our wedding Lexi does enjoy expensive things but she firmly believes that her fancy habits and tastes are hers to finance never putting that burden on Shawn I'm taking Lexi to My Jeweler this Friday and I'm incredibly excited to see her pick out her ring comments where op has replied CTU I am so happy for all of you you are an amazing Mill I wish

them all the luck I know they will make great parents if they choose to have kids oop funny story Lexi has a nephew and always wanted to be a mom she raises her nephew like her son Shawn never wanted kids changed his mind seeing Lexi with her nephew Mason who also loves Shawn a whole lot CTU how do you do this every new thing you say just as more and more awesome and wholesome those two sound like amazing people and a great couple I am so happy they found each other oop me too resigned myself

to never having hope for my son getting married and starting a family he said law school ruined him then he started his Masters and met Lexi smile update 2 July 1st 2024 things have been moving along beautifully Friday Lexi has been looking at simple plain bands with solares ovals pear Round And My Jeweler groovy Greg has been taking notes on the pieces that caught her eye thankfully when I was designing my new ring she tried it on and she's my size on the flip side Lexi got Shaun's ring size from his best friend she found

a beautiful white gold band for Shawn with their birth stones saff fire she even had it engraved but she hasn't disclosed what it says and yes she had it designed by groovy Greg as well she is returning to pick it up in July Saturday I sent photos and notes to Shawn for myself and Greg and we are designing a white gold 1.5 karat solitire VVS for Lexi ring should be ready for pickup in August so things are rocking and rolling on both ends I wish I could share this with my husband or ex-husband but I

know they'll Spill the Beans thank you for listening to this old lady talk about her updates additional information oop on her son's father being at the wedding my son told me that his father is banned from speeches at the wedding too he has a tendency to make things about himself and I would hate for him to ruin Lexi and Shaun's beautiful day because he cannot shut up oop on if Lexi's mother knows about the proposals altogether her mother is aware of everything as well so far we are the only two who know except for Reddit

smile update 3 August 5th 2024 Lexi picked up the ring with me last Thursday and she absolutely loves it since I never had a daughter I asked her if we could go to the nail salon for manicures and pedicures before my family reunion it was such a special bonding moment and I couldn't help but gush to everyone who would listen about how proud I am of her and how much I love her I even saw her tearing up a little I've never had a good mother-in-law experience myself my ex Mill pointed a loaded shotgun at

my stomach when I was 6 months pregnant with Shawn Lexi has also had her share of a horrible Mill who would steal her money and speak poorly of her it means the world to me that we can heal that wound for each other and build a loving relationship Shawn also visited me and we had a family reunion I accidentally referred to Lexi as his future fiance to my boss I'm a bit worried that one of them Lexi or Shawn may have heard me slip up fingers crossed that I didn't spoil the surprise Shawn is set

to pick up the ring in 2 weeks and we're all excited September can't come soon enough comments where op has replied baby mama magnet women proposing is the generational change we need oop you would not believe how many people believe it should be the other way around have received rude messages saying she's cucking him I raised Shawn to treat women as his equal if he feels cucked then I failed him fundamentally Stinson 555 I've been following since the first post in a world with so much darkness and hate it warms my heart to read a

post filled with love and joy op when the engagements happen you will have to pay the ring tax a photo of their ring fingers with their new rings on them until then keep smiling oop we'll do I promis to share her proposal book and artwork with her permission of course as well update 4 new update September 13th 2024 Lexi showed me her completed proposal book yesterday the book is so beautiful and thoughtful I know Shawn is going to be blown away when he sees it meanwhile Shawn is still figuring out his proposal plan he mentioned

that the weather might mess with his original idea so he's got a bit of reworking to do I know he'll come up with something great had a little runin with my ex-husband and his wife recently at a concert funny enough he also suspects Shawn will propose soon we both agree that Shaun's relationship with Lexi has always been different so much more mature and meaningful than his past ones his wife however wasn't too pleased she's the only one who hasn't met Lexi yet and she seemed a bit sour about it she even pulled me aside to

ask what Lexi is really like I just told her the truth Lexi is the perfect match for Shawn I would never speak poorly of her because one there's nothing negative to say and two I've been in those shoes before dealing with in-laws who weren't kind and I wouldn't wish that on anyone I'm just so excited for them hopefully I'll be able to share photos of the art book after they've proposed already can't wait comments where op has replied commenter hopefully the ex's wife won't be the mill from Hell oop my son had a tough time

growing up because of her once she became his fiance things only got worse she treated him poorly and constantly left him out it got to the point where Shawn would beg to come back home to me one thing I'll never forget is when she told my ex that 11-year-old Shawn couldn't be in her wedding because she didn't want any ugly people there the fact that my ex went along with it made it even worse commenter I am supposed he did not cut your ex out of his life as soon as he could being left out

of the wedding is unforgivable so do you think your ex will be excluded from your son's wedding oop yep we talked about it no ugly people allowed here either