introducing your boyfriend to your family can be stressful will Mom embarrass you will Dad approve and will he get along with your husband Yes you heard that right your husband ABC's Abby budro introduces us to poly Amory there's a squash yeah Carrie Jenkins is very merried potatoes more potatoes but she's getting ready to spend Saturday night with her boyfriend does her husband suspect hi I'm Carrie and this is my husband Jonathan and this is my boyfriend Ray have a good night we'd say he's got a pretty good idea I'm in a relationship with Jonathan and
I'm in a relationship with Ray they call it polyamory defined as a consensual romantic relationship with multiple partners I guess we should walk the dog too or I I should walk you might have thought it was just fringy people on the coast who do this but these button-down Canadians begged to differ we were amazed with the number of people who who like came to us and said oh thank you for saying this we are also in an open relationship but we haven't felt um secure saying so Carrie is a tenur professor at the University of
British Columbia in Vancouver she met Jonathan also a professor there they fell in love and got married in 2011 in a Scottish Castle we got married in a fairly traditional looking wedding ceremony I wore a white dress but along with the OS came the I don't I don't assume that romantic love and sex are the same and a new set of rules that you won't find in most marriage manuals if I were to go and have a secret romantic relationship and not tell Carrie about it that would be cheating in this relationship too so tonight
Jonathan gets to stay home while Carrie flirts with Ray in a bar I like when you look and holds hands with him at a restaurant and yes that's her wedding ring still on her finger for me the idea of being able to be with two people at once always seemed like kind of an Impossible Dream now that I get to be with two amazing people at the same time it feels like a dream come true I feel like the luckiest person in the world so what's in it for the men they get to see other
people too although they admit neither is doing so at the moment I consider myself open to dating people I'm I'm active on uh on dating websites I go through the world considering myself romantically or sexually available says there are plenty of advantages it's a loving relationship I don't know if I were in a non non- monogamous relationship how I would answer it any differently but Carrie says they are not a true Triad Ray and Jonathan and not in a relationship with each other though they're not opposed to the occasional social hangout they are not alone
according to a recent study one in five Americans have had a non- monogamous relationship defined as any relationship in which all Partners agree that each may have romantic Andor sexual relationships with other partners which could range from friends with benefits to open marriage Nightline has delved into polyamory before there was Dany and John O yes and Melinda who unlike Carrie and Jonathan and Ray actually all live together with their two kids so if you're not a couple what do you call yourselves we're trying yeah some people say thle well I like that one Toole they
say the sex is really good in the very beginning there was a lot more three people having sex together often but so is the extra set of hands for child care it's not only about sex it's about family it's about working together as a team it's about accomplishing your dreams that's your me one of their dreams having children and they managed to do that all together too Ella and Oliver are just 5 weeks apart it's one thing to have your relationship and have it exactly how you want it but then to bring kids into your
relationship do you feel like it's a healthy way to raise a family a resounding yes for me more breastfeeding more opportunities more teamwork I can double breastfeed while Melinda's making food and John is you know whatever it is there's just more a parental support for having the children there's always one of us that is able to be present and then there's ja John and Ian who also live together with their one child what do you say to people who believe that your relationship and the way that you're living your life is wrong thank you for
sharing your opinion I mean what El I'm we're not here to convert people and tell people that monogamy is wrong totally valid choice and with the divorce rate hovering around 50% who's to say these people might not have a point Carrie Jenkins has written a book called what love is and what it could be challenging the notion that love requires monogamy but what about jealousy I think that every relationship can come along sometimes with a kind of insecurity um we all we we're we're humans and we're never sure about our standing we saw this play
out again and again in our Triads Gia has her two lovers but how do the men feel about each other would you two be friends if it wasn't for her I don't think we'd be hang out buddies really M they're very different we're very different people very very different what do you think John way too [Laughter] chatty smash but in this three-headed household who takes charge do you consider yourself more the alpha dog in this family uh yes well ja's kind of the alpha dog too yeah we're both Alphas so what is that b John
John uh I I think self- admittedly would talk would say that he is somebody who gets fulfillment out of being in service doing things for people is it hard to share someone that you love that much yeah it can be it can be tough 5 years later ja John and Ian are still together but John and GA now say they're strictly platonic and then there's what they say is the social stigma okay car's received loads of negative feedback there is some um some times vitriolic and mostly Anonymous comments that I get despite criticism Carrie and
her Partners say they're committed to sharing their story for other polyamorous people who aren't able to people do need to understand and to see that this is a real way that people live challenging stereotypes about love I would like to be in my relationships forever that would be my ideal situation one date night at a time for night I'm Abby buo
